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Tanjirou fell in love on a white night; a cold and breathtaking December night. He walked in the forest, mind somewhere else while the snow crunched under his boots. He frequently walked these woods at night to get away from the little town he was used to. Too many people knew him there; too many watching eyes.
Everyone knew him as the man who had to grow up too fast; the man who had to give up on his own dreams so he could put his sister through college. He was the man whose family was gone, having died seven years ago in a house fire, leading to Tanjirou and his sister, Nezuko, being the only ones left in the Kamado family. Nezuko was two hours away and she could only visit during breaks, leaving Tanjirou alone most of the time.
The curious stares and whispers behind his back from the people in town aren’t of any help to the loneliness Tanjirou felt. He told himself that he should be used to it by now but he wasn’t. He figured that he never truly would be used to it, not when his family’s faces still haunted his dreams.
Tanjirou shivered, the freezing wind blowing right through the dark red cloak his mother had made him and the checkered hoodie he had on underneath. He probably should have worn something warmer, but he always thought the winter air calmed his ever raging thoughts.
Deep in his thoughts, Tanjirou didn’t hear the distant crack of wood, but he did notice when the smell of burning firewood hit his nose. He was surprised; he didn’t think anyone lived in these woods or would be camping at this time of year. He walked towards the smell and came across a cabin settled in a thicket of trees. Outside of the cabin was a tall, foreboding figure chopping wood with a mask on his face. The mask was of a black wolf with a red, jagged design on the side.
Tanjirou supposed that the man heard him approach because he looked up, axe brandished in his hands. The sides of the man’s head were shaved, leaving a thick strip of long black hair with lime green tips in the middle. His hair blew in the chilled wind as Tanjirou stood stock-still. Even though he couldn’t see his face, Tanjirou could feel his eyes piercing through him. The long-haired man brought down the axe forcefully onto the log in front of him, splitting it entirely and evenly, without looking away from Tanjirou.
“Um… Hi?” Tanjirou tried, cursing himself for the way he sounded. He was always social and accepting when it came to talking to people, but it seemed like his brain wasn’t working at that moment. The wolf-masked man was silent for a minute while he put the newly cut wood in the pile next to him.
“I didn’t exactly think anyone would find me out here,” the man spoke, voice rough and scratchy like it hadn’t been used in a long time. Tanjirou didn’t know what he was expecting, but it wasn’t exactly this. He really wasn’t expecting himself to be attracted to his voice. “I usually only do this at night, so I didn’t expect company.”
“Oh! I’m sorry. I didn’t exactly expect anyone to be living in these woods during this time of year, or really at all,” Tanjirou explained quickly. He briefly wondered why he had never come across this place during all of his nighttime walks. Maybe I came farther than I thought.
“Well, I didn’t expect to be living here either, but here I am.” The black haired figure set the axe down and slumped against the cabin wall. He crossed his arms and sighed. “Who are you anyway?” he asked.
“Oh, my name is Tanjirou Kamado. I live in the town next to this forest,” Tanjirou introduced himself and bowed slightly. The stranger moved his mask slightly, revealing half of his face while the other half was still covered. Finally, Tanjirou got a look at the man’s face. He couldn’t see much in the shadow of the night, only being able to make out his exposed eye and half of his mouth.
“I’m Genya,” He finally spoke. Tanjirou could see slight hesitation on Genya’s face for a moment before he spoke once again. “Genya Shinazugawa.” Genya’s voice was quiet, but Tanjirou could hear him clearly. He felt as if he had heard the name before and he finally remembered from where.
“You have the same last name as that guy I saw on the news a few months ago,” Tanjirou hadn’t realized what he said until he noticed Genya slump further into himself, almost as if he was trying to get away.
“Yeah…” Genya trailed off for a moment and Tanjirou listened intently. “He’s actually why I’m out here. He’s my brother,” Tanjirou’s eyes widened.
Tanjirou didn’t really pay attention when the news was playing at his family’s bakery. He only caught a snippet of the segment, but he did remember the name ‘Sanemi Shinazugawa’ and the reason he was on the news in the first place. The story was that he was essentially a fugitive, wanted for murdering his own mother.
Tanjirou felt a small pang of anxiousness upon the realization that the person in front of him was related to a murderer, but he was always taught to never jump to conclusions. He was also taught to always be careful, but he was never one to really listen to that lesson.
“Um, does he stay with you? Are you like, I don’t know, harboring him or something?” Tanjirou felt like he was beginning to ramble as his anxiety increased until Genya shook his head slightly. Genya sighed once more and raked his hand through his hair, pulling at the knots forcibly.
“No.” Tanjirou breathed an internal sigh of relief. “No, he’s not. Actually, I’m hiding from him, which is why I’m in the woods in the first place,” Genya explained. “I guess that’s why I have this mask too, although the hair would probably give me away if he ever found me.” Genya mentioned quietly, probably to himself, but Tanjirou heard it.
“Well, I guess I should say I’m glad you aren’t hiding him? I actually probably shouldn’t say anything since it isn’t any of my business, but here we are.” Tanjirou suppressed the urge to smack himself in the face as he finished his sentence. He really needed to work on his nervous rambling.
“Yeah, well,” Genya paused and Tanjirou thought that he might have seen a small smile on the man’s face, but maybe it was a trick of the light. “Do you want to come in? The temperature is kind of getting to me,” Genya asked and Tanjirou realized that he wasn’t even thinking about the cold, probably because he couldn’t feel his toes anymore.
“Well, I don’t want to intrude.” Tanjirou paused and gauged Genya’s reaction. The masked man shrugged.
“Honestly, I couldn’t tell you why I’m inviting you in. You just seem, I don’t know, nice?” Genya questioned himself and Tanjirou felt himself smiling slightly. “I guess I haven’t really had company in a couple of months.”
“Oh, well, okay. Sure,” Tanjirou found himself agreeing, probably having something to do with his own loneliness.
Tanjirou followed Genya into the small, but inviting, cabin. It was one room with a tiny kitchen on one side with a couch, fireplace, and bed on the other side. Tanjirou noted that it felt homey, in a way, as he took off his boots at the door. Genya padded across the room to the fireplace, putting two logs onto the slowly dying fire. He turned towards Tanjirou, offering him a seat on the couch.
“This is really nice,” Tanjirou said aloud and smiled at Genya, who looked away with a slight red tinge to his cheeks.
“Yeah, well, it isn’t much,” Genya walked over to the kitchen as he spoke. “I wish I didn’t have to live out here, but it’s growing on me. Do you want something to drink? Tea or hot chocolate, maybe?” Genya asked and Tanjirou was taken aback slightly. He didn’t think that he would be offered something by this guy. Hot chocolate did sound good though.
“Hot chocolate, please!” Tanjirou said excitedly and then flushed in embarrassment as he realized hot chocolate wasn’t really something to get excited about. “I-I mean, if you could, please and thank you. Also, add marshmallows if you have them.” Tanjirou looked down and played with his hands, flush still present on his face. He heard a small, quiet laugh from the other side of the room and his head shot to Genya, surprised yet again to hear the noise. Tanjirou let a small smile form on his lips.
Soon, Genya was back with two mugs of hot chocolate, each filled to the brim with marshmallow fluff. Tanjirou took his with a big grin and a quiet ‘thank you’. He put the mug to his lips and blew to cool it, drinking a small amount. He set it back down and looked at Genya, noticing a small smirk on the one side of his mouth. The long-haired man pointed at his top lip.
“You’ve got a fluff moustache,” Genya told him and Tanjirou turned a hot shade of crimson, wiping his lip furiously. Genya chuckled slightly and Tanjirou only blushed harder, finding the skip in his heartbeat both comforting and confusing.
“Um… Can I look at your mask?” Tanjirou asked in an effort to stop his heart from jumping out of his chest. Genya’s smile dropped slightly and Tanjirou regretted asking the question immediately. He found himself wanting to keep that smile on Genya’s face.
“Oh, I don’t really like to take it off in front of people,” Genya trailed off and looked at Tanjirou’s slightly crestfallen face. “B-but, if you really want to, I-I don’t mind.” Genya lifted the mask from his face, revealing what Tanjirou assumed he wanted to keep hidden. On the right side of Genya’s face was a long scar stretching from the end of his mouth to his ear.
“I know, it’s ugly, isn’t it?” Genya asked, a mixture of emotions in his voice. Tanjirou shook his head slightly.
“It’s not,” Tanjirou replied. “And you probably don’t believe me, but you’re not ugly at all.” Tanjirou refrained from saying anything else about how attractive Tanjirou thought Genya was, although it was hard for him. “The scar doesn’t change my mind on that fact either. If anything, it gives you character. It shows that you aren’t a blank slate.”
Genya’s eyes widened as he absentmindedly touched the scar on his face. “I’ve never had anyone say that about it before.” Genya mumbled and Tanjirou smiled sincerely.
“I mean it, too. You aren’t ugly, Genya. I know that the mask is for your brother, but I can see how you really feel about the scar, and that’s okay. But, you should embrace it.” Tanjirou explained, smiling all throughout. Genya kept his eyes wide and looked down at his hands, processing Tanjirou’s words.
“T-thanks, I appreciate you saying that. Not even my own mother would have said something like that.” Genya looked at Tanjirou and smiled as much as he could at that moment. Tanjirou smiled back at him and grabbed the mask off of the table.
He inspected it in his hands, admiring it. It was light and made of wood, black paint on the front and back. The red slash on the front of it mirrored Genya’s own scar and it made Tanjirou smile subconsciously. A small string was attached at the sides so that it could be fastened to the wearer without falling off. Tanjirou almost wished he had one that matched.
“Where did you get it?” He asked. Genya sipped from his mug and brushed his hair from his face.
“An acquaintance made it for me for halloween one year when I was in middle school. He had a wood carving hobby and made masks for all of us.” Genya explained and Tanjirou set the mask down.
“It suits you. He must have been really good at it,” Tanjirou commented and Genya nodded. He didn’t go to put the mask back on, Tanjirou noticed, and his heart warmed slightly.
“I can’t believe you have to hide like this,” Tanjirou commented as they sat in silence for a few minutes, enjoying the fire. Genya shrugged.
“I’ve gotten used to it and I kind of like it. I was always a loner,” Genya replied. “What about you? Why were you just walking in the woods in the middle of the night?” He asked and Tanjirou found himself wanting to tell this man his whole life story, maybe not all at once. He could tell that they were both broken people and dealt with it in different ways. Genya had a rough exterior, but was shy and nice, in his own way. Tanjirou was the opposite; nice and kind on the outside, but struggling on the inside, not being able to show his emotions to anyone. Maybe this was his chance to tell someone what he had been through without them knowing some of the story first.
“I like to take walks in the forest at night to clear my head. I’m actually all alone at my house in the town and everyone knows me,” Tanjirou started and he noticed Genya was listening to him intently. “My, uh, my family was killed in a house fire and it’s only my sister and I left, but she goes to college. So, I run the family bakery because that’s what my parents did and it sort of keeps their memory alive in my eyes, you know?” Once Tanjirou started talking about his family, he felt like he couldn’t stop. It was like a dam had broken inside of him and all of a sudden, he was telling Genya, practically still a stranger, his tragic past. He sighed and looked up at Genya who was nodding his head in response.
“I know what you mean. Ever since the accident with my brother, I’ve been alone,” Genya started, but didn’t finish. Tanjirou nodded, feeling slightly pitiful.
“Loneliness sucks, doesn’t it?” Tanjirou giggled slightly despite his words and Genya smirked.
“Yeah, it does.”
“Well, I’ll come around more often if you want,” Tanjirou didn’t know what he was doing. All of a sudden he was saying things and his brain was telling him to stop saying what he was saying, but he really did want to get to know Genya and why not come around to his cabin. They both needed a friend, so why not? “I mean, we are both lonely people who don’t have anyone to talk to, so why not get to know each other more?” Tanjirou suggested. He looked at Genya, seeing if he could gauge the man’s reaction by his facial features. Tanjirou saw Genya nod and he broke out into a smile.
“Yeah, sure. I mean, why not?” Genya shrugged and Tanjirou was still smiling, giddy on the inside for a reason he couldn’t explain.
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Tanjirou ended up coming by Genya’s house every night he went on a walk in the woods. They drank hot chocolate and talked about what was going on in their heads. Genya had even been offering him dinner lately and Tanjirou ended up coming over earlier and staying later. Tanjirou found out that Genya had a collection of board games that he had brought with him when he left his family home and Tanjirou insisted that they play a different one every night that he was there. Tanjirou would call it weekly game night, but it seemed like every night Tanjirou came over, which was more often than not lately, was game night.
Tanjirou figured out what those little skips of his heartbeat and the warm feeling in the pit of his stomach were after talking to Nezuko on the phone one evening.
“You like him,” she told him like it was the most obvious thing in the world and he sputtered, exclaiming that this feeling couldn’t possibly have been that. He had never had any relationships and sure, he liked maybe one or two girls when he was in high school, but it never felt like this, so he couldn’t possibly like Genya, right?
“You’re so hopeless, Tanjirou,” she said to him when he explained this to her and he ended up saying how mean she was to him.
It did end up making him think, though; did he really like Genya? He had been excited to close the store lately and visit his friend. He even stayed over on the couch one night when Genya insisted that it was too late to walk back through the forest. He told him that it was dangerous and that he could stay on the couch until morning. Tanjirou had eventually agreed, but not because that meant that he got to spend more time with the long-haired man. Definitely not.
Tanjirou slapped himself in the forehead at his own thoughts. Nezuko was right; he was hopeless and the more he thought about it, the more he was convincing himself that he actually did like Genya and that was scary. What if he didn’t like him back? Tanjirou had never been rejected before, but he hadn’t ever tried to confess to anyone either. Maybe he should tell him, just let him know and see where it goes. They had been getting really close with Genya making him dinner and letting him stay, and Tanjirou had been having dreams lately that made him feel weird when he woke up.
With that thought, Tanjirou shook his head frantically and put it in his hands in despair. Tanjirou realized that what they had was extremely domestic and he blushed at the thought. God, I really do like him. I’m fucking screwed.
He vowed that he would tell him when he went over to his house the next night. He would confess to him and that would be that. Tanjirou sighed and fought the urge to scream in the middle of the bakery. This was going to be hell.
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Tanjirou had taken the slowest time getting to Genya’s cabin that night. He was worried, nervous, all sorts of emotions running through his head. All you’re going to do is tell him you like him. It isn’t a big deal. You just have a little crush.
It was a big deal, though. He didn’t want to ruin whatever they had over his own feelings.
Tanjirou realized that he was finally outside of Genya’s abode and shivered from the cold and from anticipation. He raised his hand to knock on the door to the cabin and sighed once more, steeling himself for what was to come. He knocked and he heard shuffling from inside the house. A faint ‘coming!’ was heard from inside, and soon the door was opened to reveal Genya in all his glory.
His hair was in a messy bun and his mask was off, as per usual lately, but he smiled when he saw Tanjirou and Tanjirou felt his heart do a flip from the sight of the man.
“Hey, Tanjirou. Come in.” Genya let Tanjirou slide through the door as he closed it and Tanjirou breathed another sigh, silent this time. Tanjirou didn’t realize Genya was behind him until the man put a hand on his shoulder and turned him around.
“What’s wrong?” He asked, concern flashing across his face.
“Nothing serious, I promise. I’ve just had a lot on my mind lately and I just don’t know how to put it into words.” Tanjirou replied, cursing himself again for sharing too much.
“Well, what is it? You know you can tell me.” Genya led him to the couch and Tanjirou sat down sighing once more.
“Well, oh god, how do I even say this?” He muttered to himself as his head was screaming at him to just tell the damn guy. “Fine, I’ll just come out and say it.” He muttered once again as if Genya wasn’t right next to him, listening to every word. Tanjirou turned to face the man, determination written across his face.
“Genya, I’ve been feeling this for a while now, but I didn’t know how to say it. I like you. I really, really do. And I can’t help it. I’m sorry if this ruins anything, but I couldn’t keep it hidden from you anymore because we are such good friends and I can’t keep anything from you. I just wanted you t-” Tanjirou was cut off by soft lips enveloping his and he became rigid with confusion. He didn’t understand what was happening until he felt the lips move against his and he melted against the man he just confessed to. Genya held Tanjirou’s face in his hands as if he were the most delicate thing in the world and broke apart from him. They both were panting and breathing heavily, but they both smiled as they looked into each other’s eyes.
“I like you too, Tanjirou.” Genya replied and Tanjirou had never been so happy in his life.