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She was sitting at a chair in the infirmary. Around her a lot of people, people of different communities, were taking care of their burns, as the fire was, slowly, fading away.
She let her eyes travel... Not a few footsteps away, Daryl was standing, talking with two girls from Hilltop, probably asking them if they need anything and checking them for injuries. He didn't seem to suffer from one.
It's been ten days, since the cave incident, and they haven't talked yet. She wanted to visit him, when she learnt about his fight with Alpha, but she was afraid to face him.
He didn't want to talk to her, either, at least his actions, were pointing at this direction. Maybe it was for the best. Daryl was the only one she was holding on, who was keeping her, from hurl her revenge at Alpha. Hating her, makes it easier for her, now that she knows, no one cares for her.
As she was thinking about her next step, she heard footsteps approaching her. It was Daryl. He came and sat next to her, for the first time, since he walked away, leaving her to suffer alone.
A few minutes past and neither of them made an effort to talk. She was about to speak, breaking the ubareble silence, when he surprised her.
"I'm sorry" he said.
It was the least expected thing for him to say. She turned her head and looked at him, without the intention to hide her confuse.
"Why...?" Carol tried to say, but he cut her, once again.
"I tried... I tried to talk to you, to make you see the things from my perspective. I tried to make you open up to me. I begged you to... But it wasn't enough... I don't know if anything will ever be enough...", he took a deep breath, "...I wasn't enough. ... I told you that if the things were reversed, you would be the only person, who could bring me back... I'm sorry I couldn't be that person for you."
With these last words, tears were starting to forming in Carol's eyes and the guilt was washing over her. How he could blame himself for all of this? She was the only one to blame for, the only bad seed, which had to go, before destroy everything around her.
Suddenly, she was angry. Angry with him, for blaming himself, instead of her. Angry with herself, for making him feel this way. She couldn't let him believe that. Not a minute longer.
"Don't" she said. "Yell at me. Hate me, but don't blame yourself... Please". The desperation took her over. "I'm the one to blame. I'm responsible for this mess. I killed them. Me. Not You... Please, please, believe that..." tears were all over her face, as she was begging him, "You cared about her, and now she's dead, because of me..."
"Stop" he screamed. He couldn't take it any longer. He was about to talk, when he realise that weren't alone. He stood up, approached her and grabed her arm, telling her "Come on".
Not waiting for and answer guided her in the nearest room, he could find.
When they were alone, she continued, "I'm sorry. She was the right person for you and I killed her. I deserve every hate from you..."
"Stop" he cut her off. He took a minute, but he couldn't calm himself. "Is that what you are trying to achieve? Make me hate you? So, be easier for you to sacrifice yourself? You want my blessings to get yourself killed? You hate yourself that much? You think so low of you?"
As if she hadn't heard anything he just said, she said, feeling her strengh to fade away, "I killed her... You cared about h..."
"I care about you." He couldn't stand hearing her saying that over and over again.
As he saw her a lot calmer, his anger started to disappear.
"You're not gonna achieve anything. I know you. I see through you and your actions. You're not gonna push me away with this. So, go. Blame yourself, if you feel like it, hate yourself, if this what it will take for you to realize how far from you you're acting, but don't expect for me to do so." He tried to compose himself. "Cause I won't hate you. Ever".
Carol couldn't talk. All this took her by surprise. The only thing she could do, was standing there with tears in her eyes.
A few seconds passed like that, as she was trying to find the courage to ask a question, whose the answer she already knew.
"Why?" she asked with a low voice and a hesitation.
It didn't take more than five seconds for him to answer. He looked at her eyes and said, "You know why".
There it was. He meant to say what she meant for him, for years, but it took only a second to decide it. He started taking a step forward, closer to her, but he stopped, as he saw her taking a few steps back.
She was frozen. She stood there, not knowing what to do, how to respond. She iniciated this, by asking him something she already knew the answer. But now that the truth was out in the open, for the first time, since forever, she didn't know if she was ready to face it.
When he started to move closer, instinctively, she took a step back. "Daryl..." she started to say, not knowing how to continue.
"You know... Maybe you didn't want to see it, but it was there the whole time", he said, releasing a breath he didn't know he was holding.
It took her sometime to find the right words. "I... I don't deserve it. You deserve someone good, someone with less baggage. Someone like..."
"Connie" he finished her sentence. He was so tired of having this conersation over and over again. "You already said that..." He had to put an end to this. "Yes, she was a good person... But she wasn't you."
"You don't know me... I've done things... I can't even admit to myself."
"I know that whatever it is what you've done, you had a reason to." He said and tried to approach, but this time she let him. "Despite everything you say, I know you. You wouldn't hurt anyone, if you didn't have to."
He took her hands and looked her in the eyes, "I don't know what happened with Tyrresse", Carol lifted her head and looked at him, "I won't ask, if you are not ready to share, but it changed you... Whatever happened eats you alive and it won't stop till you face it..."
"I don't know how", she said, as tears were coming in the corner of her eyes. "It hurts..."
As he already was holding her hands, he guided to the bed, sitting her there. One of his hands went to her cheek, caressing it and capturing a tear.
"I'm here... Whenever you want to talk, I'm here", Daryl said.
Carol then, for the first time since what it felt like a lifetime, let her feelings overcome her and hugged Daryl, letting out a breath, she was holding for years.
They stayed like this for a few time, when she finally spoke, "I killed her... Lizzie... I had to" she said, as she was letting out a sob.
Daryl immediate tighted his embrace, as if he was building a wall around her, so nothing can hurt her anymore. "It's okay... You can tell me anything."
And she did. She told him about the prison, about the girls and how must it cost her to lose these two girls. She told him about Henry and how his death teared her apart and brought her to a point, where she couldn't recognize herself. At the end, she told him about the cave, and how she didn't meant for any of these to happen.
They lost the track of time, as she was talking and he was listening. When there was nothing else for her to confess, she let herself cry. She let herself feel all the pain she was been through and always hide it.
She cried herself to sleep, knowing this was just the beginning of her journey to heal her wounds, but feeling like a weight lifted off her shoulders.
Daryl stayed there. Holding her through the process and when she fell asleep, he stayed there and made sure he would be there when she wakes up.
He wouldn't leave her again.
THE END.