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Schofield knew for a fact that he was internally overreacting about something completely stupid and trivial. He hadn’t thought much about it until the night had fallen and the time had come. As the army was stationed in a small town for a while, their NCOs had managed to get the soldiers to sleep in the mostly empty and cheap hostels that the town had (for free, obviously). However, there were many soldiers for only a few hostels, therefore a lot of them had to share rooms. It was nothing new and not much of a deal, however some rooms only had one bed for two soldiers. It was something simple and stupid, Schofield was well-aware of that, everyone was close to each other all the time while awake and asleep. Nevertheless, he couldn’t shake off a tad anxious feeling that creeped into his body when he knew he was going to share a single-bed room with no other than Blake.
Some soldiers would simply share the bed and not give a damn about it, while prouder ones would take turns in the bed and sleeping on the floor. Schofield wasn’t too sure which one was going to follow their routine for these next days as they stepped into the small room, knowing he shouldn’t be nervous since it was only Blake. However, the fact that it was Blake was exactly what was throwing him off.
“I can sleep on the floor first.” Schofield said nonchalantly, aiming for the running-away option.
Obviously, he wouldn’t let Blake sleep on the floor. Not when he can have the chance to sleep more comfortably for a night at least. Schofield feel as if he will be more comfortable with letting Blake feel comfortable than being comfortable himself.
Blake shrugged slightly before he answered just as indifferently.
“Well, we could share the bed.” he looked away briefly. “ This way no one has to sleep on the floor.”
Although Schofield was aware that Blake was right, for safety reasons he tried to avoid such a mundane situation. Deep down he knew he was being stupid. Why was he nervous anyway?
“I mean, I suppose we could.” He answered simply. “If that’s okay with you.”
If Schofield was trying to make this non-awkward, he was failing successfully. Blake, however, seemed oblivious or unbothered by the atmosphere. He simply shrugged a nod before proceeding to remove his stuff and a few pieces of clothes so he could sleep more comfortably but not too exposed. Schofield did the same before jumping in the bed, trying to be as farther away as possible from his friend. The bed wasn’t too small, but it wasn’t big either; they had enough distance to not touch each other at least.
They had always slept close to each other, yet for some reason sharing a bed was an odd experience. Maybe because of the intimacy that should usually require for such a domestic situation that none of them were used to, Schofield wasn’t quite sure. Nevertheless, it was a bad night sleep equally for both. They were tense enough about moving and accidentally touching each other that they ended not moving at all, waking up with stiffness all over their body.
The next night at least one of them were much more comfortable already. Blake kept shuffling around, sometimes bumping into Schofield without even waking up. On the other side, Scho was having some trouble to fall asleep with all his roommate’s moving. He considered waking the boy up just so he could ask him to stop fiddling around, but he thought better of it. Maybe that would cause Blake to not even fall back asleep again and he didn’t want to be responsible for his lack of sleep.
That’s when Schofield suddenly felt an arm. It was over his own arm as Blake had turned around, still asleep, facing where Scho was. He stiffened the moment that arm had swarmed over his chest. Blake was moving closer to him with each shuffle his body did by now, until he was practically hugging him. Schofield was at a loss of what to do. Should he wake him up or try to move his arm away? He settled with the latter, trying to move his friend’s arm away, only causing it to wrap around him even more tightly. Blake was snuggling into him by now. Schofield was struggling so hard to get away from his grip that he probably wasn’t much discreet about it, because he could feel Blake waking up. The boy slowly opened his eyes, a bit confused at what was going on until he noticed what he was doing.
“Shit.” Blake removed his arm immediately, backing away. “I’m sorry, Scho .”
He awkwardly moved back to his side of the bed, turning himself away from Schofield.
That night Schofield fell asleep wishing for Blake to come back and wrap his arms around him in his sleep again. Unfortunately, that did not happen.
The very next night Schofield was already a bit more used to sharing the bed with Blake and pretending he wasn’t (The only way he found to stop feeling nervous). The thoughts of his friend’s warmth against him from the previous night still lingered, but he had made peace with the fact that it was an odd moment and would most likely not happen again.
Schofield was utterly wrong.
That familiar arm found its way towards Scho’s body once again, Blake shifting closer until he was snuggling into him once more. This time, Schofield was surely not trying to move away from Blake’s oblivious touch. Nonetheless, the way Blake was hugging and snuggling into him was awkwardly making him practically grounded to the chest-up position Schofield found himself in, causing his neck and back to be a bit pained. He tried to carefully shift without causing any disturbance to Blake’s sleep, once more, failing successfully.
Blake groaned softly as he slowly woke up, his eyes blinking heavily before realising the situation he put them in once more. Everything seemed to be on repeat .
“Fuck.” Blake said in a startle. “I’m sorry, Scho . I did it again, didn’t I?”
Before Schofield could bring himself to say anything to reassure his friend, Blake had already moved himself away, backing up and then turning around so his back was facing Scho, thus he could pretend this hadn’t happened again.
Schofield truly didn’t know how to tell Blake that it was okay- more than okay for him to snuggle and hug him like that. He didn’t know how to say anything without making it sound awkward or to spill his true heavily-lidded feelings. Schofield tried to solve this as he always did, by actions instead of words. He gulped before slowing shifting closer to Blake’s back, the sound of the sheets ruffling almost deafening in the dead silence that had dawned upon them, causing his heart to beat faster. Schofield hesitantly wrapped his arms around Blake before hugging him in a way that seemed as if they were spooning. As he noticed his friend’s lack of reaction, Schofield took the courage to tighten the hug, still slightly trembling. He hoped that at least this gesture would show that he does not mind Blake’s physical affection towards him.
They stayed like that for a couple of minutes, both not daring to say anything as the silence took over once more. Schofield only knew Blake was awake because of his irregular breathing one of the only sounds filling their ears along each other’s fast heartbeats. As the seconds ticked on, Schofield started to overthink about this entire situation. Maybe Blake wasn’t comfortable with this but didn’t know how to reject Scho’s affection without hurting his feelings, hence letting this go on. Schofield started to consider if he should move away and apologise or just see where this goes. However, before he could do anything, he felt Blake move in his arms, adding fuel to his panic. Surprisingly, Blake turned himself around to be facing Schofield instead of punching him and running away.
Although Blake didn’t meet his eyes, Schofield could tell that there was something building up inside the younger man and he was deeply scared to find out if it was something good or bad.
“Is this okay?” He finally managed to ask, his voice barely a whisper.
Blake still did not meet his eyes, but he did not back away from his arms either.
“Y-yes.”
Schofield gulped, his own heartbeat ringing in his ears, probably loud enough for the other man to hear as well.
“I-I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.” He assured, his voice still weak and bit shaky.
Before Blake could even bring himself to say anything in response, Schofield kept talking.
“It’s just that I really enjoy having you in my arms.” He almost blabbered. “Or the other way around.”
The sight of Schofield’s mild panic and nervous blabbering was a rare sight that probably only Blake got to see, because he was the only one who made him that way. Schofield was usually serious and quiet, never talking when not necessary and surely never embarrassing himself as he was probably doing right now. However, as those words reached Blake’s ears, he finally met his worried eyes with something hidden deep in them. It was almost as if it was an understanding of everything, a sudden click in his brain; the answer to all his questions in life.
Before Schofield could lowkey panic further in the silence he was left at, Blake had been staring into his eyes way too deeply, causing Schofield to erase any thoughts from his head and be only able to see the man before him. It was only then he had realised how much closer Blake was, as he slowly approached before surprising Scho once again. Blake suddenly pushed his head closer, breaking the small distance that once was between the two man, as his lips pressed a bit hurriedly and harshly to Schofield’s own.
It took only a moment for Schofield to press his lips back against his for a proper kiss the moment Blake had parted, pressing sweetly as he softly sighed into the kiss. It felt like absolute heaven, even if it was for a couple of seconds. It was the best feeling Schofield had felt in years and the most comforting and fulfilling place Blake could be, in his arms. They were both safe and complete in each other’s arms and nothing in the world could pull them apart. It was almost as if they were two pieces made to fit with each other and there was nothing and nobody else who could replace one of them.
“I enjoy it too.”