Chapter Text
At the end of the war, to say you were relieved was a grand understatement.
Years of shedding blood and tears have finally come to a stop. In the back of your mind, it almost felt as though the maddening war would never come to an end. From the time Edelgard declared war on the church to the disappearance of Professor Byleth, you were struck with fear and despair. Having come from a small House on the edge of Faerghus, you didn't have many people to rely on besides your fellow Blue Lions. You couldn't return to your family as the war demanded the best and brightest mages, much to the sadness of your parents and older sibling.
Even during your time on the battlefield, you were separated from a few of your companions. If you were paired with someone, you were often stuck focusing on how to win instead of confiding your stresses. Perhaps it would have been better if your best friend and the prince of Faerghus, Dimitri, hadn't disappeared so soon after Byleth's presumed death. No cut or wound was as painful as essentially losing your closest companion. You missed him and his comforting blue gaze that always made you feel at ease during the frequent nights insomnia attacked you. You missed him and his shy, hesitant caresses you pretended not to notice but would squeal about at back in your dorm. You missed the times where he would sneak away from Dedue so the two of you could chat or spar for a few fleeting moments. You missed him holding your hand in comfort whenever you confided in him.
With the loneliness and misfortune plaguing your mind, it was no wonder the war lasted an eternity for you.
The war ruined you. And it had ruined Dimitri.
You had actually found Dimitri five years into the war, apparently a few months before Byleth rose from the "dead." The fighting had slowed down more than it had in the past few years, so you took some time off to reunite with your family before returning to the front lines once more. On the way there, you decided to make a quick trip to the monastery, wanting to reminisce and grieve about the precious memories you had made there; you didn't expect to see anyone familiar, or even anyone else besides bandits.
Upon seeing his tall, disheveled form, clad with a cloak that could swallow you whole, you were initially terrified. Who was this large man with an eye patch ominously covering a part of his face? He was kneeling at pile of rubble in the chapel, and you had no idea if this man heard you approach the remains of this place.
You sucked in a shaky breath, and the beast finally turned and stood to glance at you. Though you've battled different enemies, there was no one who intimidated you more than him. His long, blond hair was messy and stained with blood, and the black of his armor surely hid the crimson liquid that undoubtedly stained his attire. His eyes were piercing... and were so familiar. They were his eyes- except this time, they weren't offering you sympathy at one in the morning when you talked about how you couldn't sleep. This time, they were as cold as the Faerghus winter winds and as intense as Edelgard's scrutinizing gaze you had once seen on the battlefield two years into the war.
"The Boar Prince," you could practically hear Felix scoff.
And the once affectionate nickname had come to fruition- Dimitri looks... savage and animalistic. You knew the man was strong enough to break a spear in half in surprise, and you had no doubt he'd be able to destroy you with one hand now. You could hardly recognize his appearance- even loyal Dedue wasn't at his side. Your heart twisted in grief as you thought of what must have happened to your old friend.
"Dimitri," you tested the name on your tongue- a name you haven't uttered in years. A stab of pain came to your heart when he barely acknowledged you.
He walked past you, the sight of his form sending electricity up your spine. He had been muscular back when you were students, but his stance was commanding and powerful now, the promise of revenge swirling in his posture.
"Leave," he demanded, his voice rough- as if he hadn't spoken in days.
The sound of his voice made you weak. "Please," you begged, though you didn't know what you were even begging for. Your hand weakly grasped his upper arm, and you knew he's strong enough to shrug you off. He didn't, though.
There was a pause. "I want to help." It was the absolute truth. You knew the past five years have broken him, and you wanted to be a beacon of light for him like he has been for you.
"Bandits come at night. Leave before it gets tough," his words brought you an odd sense of comfort. You relished in the fact that he at least cared a little bit, but it didn't mitigate the pain of seeing someone you loved become so cold and vicious.
You reached for his hand.
He left before you can catch him.
That night, you stayed in your old dorm, wiping away your tears with the back of your hands.
Later, your parents had welcomed you back home with open and loving arms. They had your favorite meals, a warm bath, and soft clothes for you to wear after years of fighting. The warmth of House [Last Name] did nothing to ease the frostbite Dimitri left in your heart.
Your mother mentioned a list of suitors that had been awaiting your return. There was hardly any room in your chest for another man, but she looked so happy to have you back, even for a brief moment. You didn't mention the blond boar that has carved his way into your heart even after years of neglect.The next few months were a good balance of training and leisure. It was enough to keep the war at bay, but you thought of the Blue Lions every day. How were they faring? Were some of them also visiting home in this brief stalemate?
The first suitor reminded you of Sylvain- fun, flirty, and carefree. Unlike your flame-haired friend, this stranger was superficial and airheaded.
The second suitor was quiet and well-behaved, but you couldn't bring yourself to speak to him for more than fifteen minutes on a normal day.
The third was the most promising. He took your mind off of Dimitri, and you entertained the thought of marrying into this man's house after the war. Then he mentioned how Faerghus was better off without the Blaiddyd bloodline.
You never met the fourth or fifth or sixth suitors. After writing your family a lengthy letter filled with love and promises to return, you set on your journey to return to the monastery to honor your late professor. It was almost time for the reunion the Blue Lions had agreed upon years ago.
You didn't expect to see anyone else; the site was too dangerous to loiter in. To your surprise, seeing the aged and healthy faces of your beloved allies was a joy in itself. Even Dimitri was there, but you had a feeling he never really left the monastery. Professor Byleth had come back as well- not from the dead, but from a long slumber. It took everything you had to not sob into his chest to see your former educator come fill you with hope. It filled you with nostalgia when you all decided to make this your base to reclaim the past and stop Edelgard's war. It felt almost like a lie. You wanted to pretend you were pursuing higher education like many nobles did or pretend you were attending a training camp, but the war continued to loom in everyone's thoughts.
Months went by.
You trained with Annette and Felix on a daily basis to raise your Reason levels, pretending not to notice the glances and small smiles they exchange. They had always liked each other in their school days, after all. Dimitri had closed himself off from what used to be the Blue Lions. He refused to speak with anyone and was gone most of the time to pile up corpses or stay at the chapel. Every time you tried to exchange a few words with him or give him some food to eat, he ignored you. No master how much you tried, he refused to even look at you.
You would reach for his hand, but he would ignore your gesture.
It hurt.
At one point, Byleth stopped you from visiting Dimitri, noticing your will getting weaker. "I know," he had said softly. "Try to give him some space." You knew he was right, so you kept to yourself and the comfort of Mercedes and Ingrid during your evenings.
Dimitri continued to be cold and ruthless- at least until Dedue returned during the battle at the Bridge. It motivated your entire crew, and upon victory, Dimitri falls to his knees in front of Dedue, finally showing emotion since you all separated five years ago. His voice was hoarse when he demanded that Dedue never sacrifice himself like that again. It was a tender moment that sparked a few changes in the Prince. He came to the dining hall for dinner during normal times and ate with you, even though he never said anything. You supposed it was nice to have his presence in front of you again. You told him about your training, your day, or the gardening you helped Dedue with. Dimitri just glanced at you every so often. The rest of the month, he was around a little more, and Byleth noted your changed happiness.
"You're so happy to be around him- even if he doesn't say a word..." he remarked with mirth. "I suppose it's good to be happy now, considering we'll be facing former classmates at the end of the month."
Byleth's words punched you in the gut- he was right.
The day you found yourselves at the nostalgic field was a tragedy.
You cried when you killed your old friend, Bernadetta, but you knew it was a necessary sacrifice to end the war. Was it necessary, though? It would have never happened, had Edelgard never declared war in the first place.
In that moment, you understand Dimitri's rage, and you want to send a Cutting Gale her way for forcing her self-delusional "justice" onto all these corpses. Were her selfish ways justified? The ends don't always justify the means, after all. You didn't know, but you had an inkling her idealism could be obtained in a way without sacrificing so much blood- her own comrades' blood, nonetheless. You knew the war was complex, but in that moment, all you wanted was for the war to be over.
Another life was sacrificed on that field. Another life was sacrificed for Dimitri, or "for the war" as Rodrigue would have preferred. It was selfish to think, but in a way, you were grateful for his heavy sacrifice. Had it not been for this, perhaps Dimitri would have never snapped out of his obsession for revenge. Slowly, you started to see the major changes in the prince day after day, becoming free from his survivor's guilt. His mannerisms started to return, and the man gave you bashful smiles whenever you said something. He came out to talk to his old friends; you know even Felix is overjoyed about his prince's return. The gentleman you thought you had lost had finally come back, even better than before.
Byleth was more than pleased to see his former pupil become grounded, and the two often trained together with smiles and light banter alongside Sylvain and Felix. He regularly helped Ashe and Annette with grocery shopping, and he thanked Dedue whenever he could.
It was one night when he knocked at your door at one in the morning, confessing he could not sleep.
"I'm in a much better place, but the deceased always seem to keep me up at night..." he whispered to you when you invited him in. "I don't think they'll ever leave, but they're louder at night."
"And then you can't sleep..." you mused with empathy, laying your hand on his understandingly.
He doesn't move his hand, but he doesn't quite hold it as well.
"They've quieted down... It will be something I live with for the rest of my life, but I fear it may never get better," he confessed, his voice an octave lower than usual.
"Maybe it'll help if I talk louder than them," you tried to joke, and he offered you a small smile that you missed so dearly. "I missed you." You couldn't help but say it.
"And I to you. I'm sorry. I know I had been terribly unfair..." he trailed off, but you can't help but notice his gaze shining in the azure moonlight. It was different from when you were students, different from when you first saw him again. You couldn't quite place your finger on it.
You both wished insomnia was the least of your worries. He came to your room almost every other night, and the two of you talked until you both fell asleep on your bed. The routine was broken when it was finally time to reclaim the throne and defeat Edelgard.
To everyone's delight, he stood proud as the new ruler of Faerghus with a promise to return after the war. The people already loved having a king in action; his dedication to help his kingdom himself unlike many figurehead rulers captivated the general public and showered him with support. With the help of the Alliance soldiers, the Kingdom captured Fort Merceus. Despite its name of being impregnable, the capture came easier than you originally anticipated, but maybe that is only because Dimitri fought alongside you the entire time.
Enbarr is captured with more difficulty, however. It does not compare to the final battle with Edelgard. She had normally been a composed woman, but the form she had taken on is truly monstrous. It's enough to keep your knees locked, but with a squeeze of your shoulder, Dimitri had led you forward. He pushed through the left side like a true tactician, and you made sure to support him with your spells.
Edelgard... an old friend who often joked about you marrying into House Blaiddyd, something you had protested every time. It was hard battling her and her troops emotionally; you couldn't imagine how Dimitri must have felt upon striking her for the final time. As she collapsed to the ground, you let out a shaky breath.
Fodlan is reunited, finally.
You found yourself praying for those who have lost their lives in the war. Not a day went by without thinking about at least one of your late friends and former classmates. Finally, the day came when you prayed for Edelgard, mentioning a small joke in the prayer.
"You always joked about me marrying him..." you murmur to yourself in the chapel as your voice cracked slightly. It is difficult to keep going. "Perhaps in a different timeline... we would be in-laws. In another world, I would have liked you to see our wedding..." It had been a small wedding, as requested by Dimitri and yourself. Your few friends and family came to support you, and you saw even Byleth shed a few tears as you and the former Boar Prince and current Benevolent King exchanged your sweet, tender vows. Everything had been perfect, and you wouldn't have asked for anything more.
"In a different timeline... we would live without war."
It is silent in the chapel apart from the soft singing from the choir practicing.
"My dearest?" You look up to see the man who had captured your heart. "We have a meeting with the King of Almyra... shall we get going? It's quite a long journey," he says, extending his hand to you.
"It's been a while since we've seen him," you remark.
You take his hand.