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Seokjin hears Jungkook before he sees him.
First, he hears the creaking sound of a wooden door as it opens on the side of the house. Then, a pair of feet landing heavy on the gravelly ground.
It could have been anyone, but then a voice filled the night air as the door closed again, and the sound was sweet and perfect and unmistakably Jungkook.
Seokjin can’t help but sigh.
He frowns a little; his brow tenses, and the arm he has wrapped around his own torso for warmth tightens a little bit.
God, he’s not in the mood.
“Hyung?”
Jungkook asks, interrupting his soft singing as he walks around the house, and Seokjin doesn’t want to reply. He doesn’t want Jungkook to come find him, but he knows he’s doomed because Jungkook is one determined guy, and if he wants to find Seokjin, then he will find Seokjin.
Even if Seokjin came outside to be alone because he’s tired and a little bit upset, and he doesn’t want to take it out on the others and dampen their good mood. Because Bon Voyage may be work, but it’s fun; it’s not bad at all compared to other things they do regularly at home, and it is always nice to travel somewhere new with his favorite people in the world.
The problem right now is that Jungkook is not one of Seokjin’s favorite people in the world.
In fact, the maknae has been nothing but an emotional headache for the past few weeks to him, and though Seokjin thought he’d be able to ignore all that and smile for the cameras like he usually does, he got tired.
That’s why he sneaked out. He’s wearing his pajamas underneath his coat, and he’s not wearing his contact lenses, so if he looks at the sky he can’t see anything other than an amorphous moon and a few blurry stars, but he’s peacefully collecting his thoughts, recharging his batteries, and letting out his negative energy in wafts.
Jungkook appears around the corner of the house in a matter of seconds. Seokjin sees him through the corner of his eye and doesn’t turn to look at him.
“Ah, here you are,” Jungkook says, and Seokjin knows him so well that he knows the maknae is smiling by the sound of his voice alone. “I was looking for you everywhere.”
Seokjin lets out a little impatient sigh and closes his eyes.
Before he knows it, Jungkook is sitting down next to him on the wooden bench. He is large and heavy now, with strong muscles and long hair and tattoos that should not make Seokjin’s throat go dry, but he is still the sweet and caring and slightly oblivious boy he’s always been underneath all that. And maybe that’s the problem.
“You okay, hyung?”
“Hm. I was until you came.”
“Ha,” Jungkook laughs, but it doesn’t sound amused. “I knew it. You’re mad at me.”
At that, Seokjin finally looks at Jungkook. He’s sitting near the edge of the bench and both hands in his pockets, and even if he has an unreadable lopsided smile on his lips, Seokjin can tell he’s not at ease because he keeps bouncing his stupid leg.
He hums before he admits easily, “Yup.”
The younger’s smile vanishes at once, turning into a pout.
“Wait— you are?”
“Well, yeah,” Seokjin says, shrugging with his arms crossed and wrapped around his torso, and looking at the dark landscape ahead. “In part. I’m upset about a lot of things. That’s why I came out here.”
“Hyung…”
“Just - listen, okay? I’m upset. I’m tired, and homesick, and I miss my mom and my - I miss my pets, too,” Jungkook’s eyebrows rise with an expression of sympathy and he opens his mouth like he’s going to say something, but Seokjin raises his hand and warns him against it, “and if you dare say anything about that, I’ll get even more upset, so don’t.”
Jungkook stops himself at once, deflating a little bit.
“Ugh. Alright. I’m sorry.”
“Whatever,” Seokjin shakes his head, his voice a tad gentler. He feels like he’s being mean and he gets a pang of guilt to his chest at the sight of a crest-fallen Jungkook, but the thing is, this was precisely what he wanted to avoid by going outside. He knew he was going to be venomous and childish, so why did Jungkook have to look for him?
Why is he being so unaware? He’s a smart, sensible boy, so why can’t he tell?
All of a sudden, long fingers brush Seokjin’s hair and push a strand of black hair behind his ear. The touch causes Seokjin to tense and freeze immediately; to look away from the dark landscape he can barely even see and face Jungkook again.
Jungkook just looks back at him, a subtle but determined frown on his face. He lets his tattooed hand fall to the base of Seokjin’s neck, fingers lingering on the border of his thick black coat.
Seokjin wants to lean in and push him away at the same time.
“Can I ask you…why are you mad at me, then?” Jungkook asks, sounding and appearing so much tinier than he is.
“I… Jungkook, to be honest, just the fact that you have to ask in the first place is upsetting.”
“Well, hyung,” Jungkook counters, sounding less sympathetic and more impatient now. “Sorry, but I don’t read minds!”
Seokjin can’t help the mean little chuckle that escapes him.
“Well, obviously.”
“ Hyung ,” Jungkook’s fingers curl around the synthetic fabric of Seokjin’s coat and tug a little bit. The stop acting like a child! goes unsaid
“Jungkook,” Seokjin replies. Jungkook’s hand lowers a little bit and squeezes his shoulder, so Seokjin finally dares shrug it off. “Don’t touch me.”
Jungkook retracts his hand, but only halfway. He leaves his fingers half curled up suspended in the air between them.
“Why not?” He asks and Seokjin shrugs.
“ Because ,” he starts, impatient too, both at Jungkook but also at himself and his stupid, stupid way of dealing with his own emotions. He can’t help it, though. He has been accumulating a sort of regret he had never known before for a couple of weeks now, and his chest is starting to feel way too heavy. “It’s only fair, isn’t it? I mean, earlier today - didn’t you make a whole show of not letting me get anywhere near you?”
Jungkook blinks and raises a confused eyebrow. “What? You mean at the parking lot?” Seokjin doesn’t reply. “You’re - you’re upset over that?”
Seokjin stays silent, proud and dumb.
“Hyung… Are you?”
“No,” he replies reluctantly, clicking his tongue. “Or - yes. I don’t know.” Jungkook sighs softly and, surprisingly, he moves a little closer and rests his hand on Seokjin’s shoulder again.
“Then, let’s talk.”
“No. No, I don’t want to talk, you know? I’ll get over it tomorrow, I will! Can you just leave me alone for a while, please—?”
Seokjin trails off when Jungkook squeezes his shoulder and then moves his hand upwards a little so he can touch the nape of Seokjin’s neck.
“What if I wanna talk?” He asks, soft but brave, his gaze lowered but then rising again to meet Seokjin’s. He takes a shaky breath, but his fingers start stroking Seokjin’s neck and there’s nothing Seokjin can bring himself to do about it, the touch immobilizing him at once.
Seokjin lets out a little humorless laugh, but he closes his eyes.
“Of course - now you wanna talk,” he blurts out, but his voice isn’t any louder or harsher than Jungkook’s. He might as well have been talking to himself, but Jungkook is close to him, perhaps a little too close, so there’s no way he can’t hear him. “Now that it’s been a few weeks and I’m in a super, super good mood, huh.”
Jungkook sighs softly and stays silent, but he doesn’t move away. He actually moves in a little closer, and he keeps doing what he’s doing: carding his tattooed fingers through the shorter hairs at the base of Seokjin’s head and spreading warmth through Seokjin’s body at the speed of light with his touch. It’s disarming - it feels so good, and it relieves and undoes knots of tension on Seokjin’s muscles, so even if he wanted to, Seokjin can’t bring himself to fight against that. He doesn’t want to admit it, but perhaps it’s something like this that he needed - to be contained rather to be left alone.
A few minutes go by in silence before Jungkook speaks, soft like before.
It’s a whispered and shy “hey, hyung - look at me”, but it acts like a charm. Seokjin opens his eyes and turns his head in Jungkook’s direction, and his breath catches in his throat at once.
Jungkook’s face is a lot closer to his than he expected, and he looks equal parts regretful and determined. It’s an odd combination. Seokjin looks between his eyes, then up at his tensed brows, and then he - fuck it , he looks at his lips and at the tiny mole below them and he sucks in a breath. It feels strange to know he has kissed them already; that he knows what Jungkook, of all people, tastes and sounds like when he kisses. They spent most of the days the other members were out and about all by themselves, together in their gigantic dorm, just drinking and eating take out, making out and rolling around in each other’s beds like a pair of horny teenagers every occasion they could.
It was a long time coming, but the moment that triggered it came out of nowhere, and it all ruined Seokjin a bit. Similarly, they stopped abruptly as well, from one moment to the next - Jimin arrived from his trip to Russia, then Taehyung came back, then Yoongi, then Jungkook went to Jeju, and in all that mess of comings and goings and of picking up their schedule, they never got around to even mentioning it.
Seokjin was left feeling heavy, his heart ready to jump out of his rib cage at any given moment - especially whenever Jungkook was around him. But Jungkook? He went back to the way they were before as if nothing had happened, and he did it so effortlessly that Seokjin felt… bad. Strange. Forgettable.
But he can’t feel upset now, at least not as upset - not when Jungkook is looking at him with his brow furrowed, a faint light dancing in his eyes and reflecting off his cheeks and forehead with a dim glow. There’s something magnetic about him - something that Seokjin has felt for a long time but gave into only recently, and it pulls him right in this time, even if the others are only a wall away.
Jungkook’s hand is behind his neck, and his hold becomes slightly stronger as he leans in, eyes searching and lips parted. His fingers crawl upwards and bury in Seokjin’s hair, but it’s Seokjin who bites the bullet - he puts his hand on Jungkook’s cheek and holds the younger’s intense gaze, hesitant for a few seconds but then crashing their lips together harshly.
It’s not a gentle kiss, and Seokjin makes it even harsher when he feels Jungkook kissing back eagerly, taking it all in stride, sighing against Seokjin’s mouth and moving closer yet. Seokjin tilts his head sideways, his fingers stroking Jungkook’s jaw before they run down his neck. He slips his hand underneath Jungkook’s open coat so he can touch the warm skin of the crook of his neck with it, and they stay like that for a while - mouths moving against each other’s, lips smacking, tongues tangling and rubbing in a way that sends shivers all the way to the tips of Seokjin’s toes.
Seokjin feels like his blood was replaced with something molten and heavy, like the hand Jungkook has on the back of his head and buried in his hair will set him on fire, but the intensity eventually starts dying down. It’s not a build up kiss - they shared dozens of those in the span of a few days just a few weeks ago, so Seokjin can tell this one is different.
This kiss started heavy and rough, but it’s a come-down. It feels almost relieving in a way. It isn’t until later that Seokjin realizes, head dizzy after long minutes of barely breathing and of sucking on Jungkook’s lips and tongue, that all hell would break loose if somebody, staff or fellow member, came outside and saw them accidentally, but thankfully by then his pulse feels calmer. He no longer doesn’t feel like bursting anymore, and his shoulders feel a little less heavier.
All he wants is to keep kissing Jungkook.
But unfortunately, Jungkook kisses his way out of the kiss. He turns the deep and heady movements of lips into brief pecks, some of them noisy. Seokjin thinks he can feel him smile against his lips, and he doesn’t know what to make of it.
He licks his kiss-bitten lips once Jungkook has moved a few centimeters back, both their chests rising and falling quickly, and when he opens his eyes he finds Jungkook is already looking at him, looking just as messy as he feels himself, except considerably… happier?
“That - that wasn’t talking,” Seokjin says, and Jungkook’s lips quirk in a sideways smile. They are still close, Seokjin’s hand is still on Jungkook’s bare shoulder beneath his coat and Jungkook’s fingers are still on Seokjin’s hair, but their faces are far enough that the air that Seokjin fills his lungs with is cool and doesn’t taste like Jungkook.
“Yeah, well. You started it.”
“You continued it. You should’ve stopped me.”
Jungkook laughs softly to himself, stroking Seokjin’s hair and the back of his neck.
“Yeah. As if. Hyung, in what world would I stop you?”
“I -” Seokjin tries, but hesitates. He’s breathless and confused, and he’s tired of Jungkook going from acting like nothing ever happened to kissing the breath out of his lungs - he doesn’t want this to become a pattern, or a thing they just do mindlessly. He wants more than that, perhaps much more than he can even ask for. He shrugs, “I don’t know. You just should have.”
The younger sighs impatiently at that and even has the nerve to roll his eyes.
“Hyung… No offense, but you deserve an award for jumping into conclusions and then getting mad at the conclusions you reach.”
Seokjin frowns. “Hey!”
“No, listen to me!” He says, even placing the hand he doesn’t have in Seokjin’s hair over his mouth. The gesture could be rude, but he is careful when he does it, pressing three of his fingers to Seokjin’s lips. “If by any chance you’re thinking I kissed you and did all those things with you because I was bored or lonely or whatever, you couldn’t be more wrong. Alright? That to begin with.”
Seokjin wants to say something, but he doesn’t, and not only because Jungkook is covering his mouth with his fingers, but mostly because he has no idea what he should say.
“I like you, I have liked you, and I thought it was obvious, but apparently it wasn’t? That, or you’re way blinder than I thought,” he snickers to himself, his eyes crinkling with mischief at first but then softening when they settle on Seokjin’s. His smile turns sweeter and shyer, and it makes Seokjin’s heart squeeze in his chest. He brings his own hand up to Jungkook’s with the intention of pulling it away and uncovering his mouth, but he keeps it there, envelopes it with his fingers and only lowers it a little bit. Jungkook continues. “I’m sorry I didn’t mention it.”
Seokjin takes a deep breath, but it comes off a little shaky. There are many emotions and thoughts whirling inside his chest and his head and they’re annoying, but he finds that anger is no longer one of them. Not at Jungkook, anyway.
Most of all, he feels embarrassed and glad.
“God —,” he sighs, feeling foolish but smiling little despite himself. Jungkook’s hand lowers to the base of his neck, dragging his own along with it. “For real?”
“When have I ever gone around just kissing people for no reason hyung?” Jungkook asks, his tone playful. “I mean- there were a few exceptions before, but that was ages ago!”
“Stop blaming me! I didn’t know! How was I supposed to know? I don’t read minds either!” Seokjin defends. “We probably shouldn’t have, you know, jumped into it without talking about it first. That wasn’t very mature of us -”
Jungkook cuts him off unexpectedly with a kiss to the corner of his lips.
“No offense, hyung, but do you come with an ‘off’ button? You’re talking and thinking too much and it’s not doing you any good. You’ve been sulking all by yourself out here for how long already?”
Seokjin pouts a little, but he lets Jungkook tangle their fingers together and pull him in. It’s nice to be close to him again after the weeks he spent in drowning in overthinking hell, unable to look at Jungkook without feeling like trash.
“Over a day, I’d say,” he answers.
“You should be telling me you like me and kissing me instead because soon we have to go back inside…”
Seokjin hums, smiling a little as he leans in to kiss Jungkook again, soft and brief this time.
“I like you,” he says, the words coming to him and leaving his lips easily. Jungkook smiles brightly and he kisses him again, and it’s nice - there’s not really a lot they can do about all this, but it’s nice to know they’re in the same wavelength after all.
The kiss lingers, Seokjin makes it linger - he lets go of Jungkook’s hand so he can bury his own fingers in the younger’s stupidly attractive long hair the way he did all the time a few weeks ago. It’s a bit greasy, but he doesn’t care; he messes it up, pulls his hair tie off, and threads his fingers through it like he was secretly burning to do just a few hours ago.
This time, Jungkook doesn’t complain. Instead, he laughs into his mouth, mutters a soft ‘ that’s better ’ under his breath, and pulls Seokjin closer.