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"Hey Soonyoung. How old are you?" Jihoon has his eyes still glued to the television screen, where a movie regarding some soulmate thing was still playing.
Soonyoung who was actually feeling some sort of nostalgia and a sense of relation throughout the movie so far, suddenly choked over nothing. He immediately turned to face Jihoon, eyes wide apart. "What the hell? We're the same age!! How could you even forget that?!"
Jihoon furrowed his eyebrows and rolled his eyes before looking back at Soonyoung. "I know. But I mean, you had repeated life a thousand something times right? Aren't you like super old or something now?"
Soonyoung blinks his eyes, slowly going into his own world of thoughts. Never once had he thought of it. Soonyoung frowned, as he looked at the ceiling above him. 'Speaking of which, I have yet to speak to Jeonghan hyung and Shua hyung since the party a month ago, huh..'
"Soonie." Jihoon called Soonyoung once again to break the latter's chain of thoughts. "You know, lets just drop that question. Instead.." Jihoon took the remote control and switch off the television. He then turned his body and faced the older. "I want you to tell me about us. About the us before you fall into this never ending loop." Jihoon stared at Soonyoung straight in the eye.
Soonyoung slightly tensed up. A bunch of mixed emotions swirling in his eyes. As if afraid that Jihoon would break him apart with his stare, he immediately looked away. However, he could still feel the stare drilling into him. "Hoonie... I can't."
Jihoon held Soonyoung's hand, squeezing it lightly as a form of reassurance. "I want to know. I don't want you to suffer alone. I'm here with you this time so let me carry the burden and whatever is that have happened together with you."
Soonyoung looked at their hands before slowly looking at Jihoon. Muttering some words of reassurance to himself, he then closed his eyes and inhaled. "It's gonna take long..." Soonyoung opened his eyes and softly smiles. "Please promise me something. Promise me that....."
Jihoon looked at Soonyoung, eyes softens as Soonyoung speaks. After several seconds, Jihoon nodded his head and answered firmly. "I promise."
Soonyoung closed his eyes. He inhaled all the air he could contained, just in case he needed it. He opened his eyes to look at Jihoon, only to see Jihoon looking at him. A smile he missed. "We were nothing but a teenager filled with dreams and passion. You, a music genius who sings." Soonyoung smiled and points at Jihoon before pointing back to himself. "And me, a boy who had grown to love dancing because of Taekwondo."
---
somewhere in 2012
"Jihoonie~ Let's take a break!!" The door, to the once quiet practice room that only contains the squeaking sound of a pair of shoes, swung open.
"Soonyoung, I can't." Jihoon catch some breath as he leans against the mirror walls. "There's an evaluation next week and I'm still nowhere near perfect. You do know how important this is too right?"
"Come on.. Let's get something to eat, alright~? You can't afford to skip any meals especially!! It's bad for you!" Soonyoung grins as he holds JIhoon's wrist. "I'll help you after that so let's go!!" Without even waiting for any reply, Jihoon found himself getting dragged out of the room by the older male.
They're trainees at Pledis entertainment. A story we all know. Jihoon being a trainee followed by Soonyoung a while later. Its been almost a year since they first met and attended training together. Ever since Jihoon caught a glimpse of Soonyoung's dance, it had spark a flame in him. To be better. To try out everything the world had to offer. Little did the two expect that they would be able to click with each other despite the differences in them.
Since then, it has always been Jihoon and Soonyoung. The only times where they are not seen together during training period are... never.
~
a few months before their debut
"Ji. We need to talk." Seungcheol walked into the recording studio. When he realised that JIhoon is not alone in the room, he sighed. "Soonyoung, you can stay." The two exchanged glances before joining Seungcheol in sitting at the sofa. "I'm gonna cut this short." Seungcheol looked at Jihoon, a sad smile tugging at the corner of his lips.
"Is this... about the upcoming debut showcase..?" Jihoon whispered softly, audible enough for the other two to hear, as he fiddles the hem of his oversized hoodie.
"Yes and no. In fact, it is for the future of Seventeen." Seungcheol sighed for the nth time before shifting to look at Soonyoung. "I suggest that you both should break up."
"What?" The two males looked at Seungcheol, shocked evident in their eyes.
"It's good that you guys have been hiding it for almost eight months, but that does not mean that it can go unnoticed by me and some other members.
"Hyung... how did you know? Who else..." Soonyoung spoke, his voice slightly trembling due to shock. He had promised Jihoon after all. As much as he wanted to tell the whole world that Jihoon is his, he had promised. He promised the younger male that he will not do anything that will put their future at stake. They even made everything not obvious, all in the façade where they are nothing but bestfriends.
Seungcheol smiles. "You're not the only one who had done this, Soonyoung. Besides, I have known Jihoon since day one. Just a little thinking and observation and I got it all figured out."
"Since when-"
"Cheol.. Did it not work out with Jeonghan and Shua hyung?"
Seungcheol slightly tensed up at the mention of both name. His smiles falter, gloom slowly taking over his face. "It did but..." Seungcheol frowned. "We all got caught. Dispatch tried to meddle, even bringing up our upcoming debut in their unreleased article."
Soonyoung looked at the two, words stuck at the tip of his tongue, unable to form proper words.
"Why do you think the company decide to temporarily implement a no dating policy out of nowhere?"
After a few moments of silence and tensed atmosphere, Seungcheol stood up. "I hope you both will think about this. I am just here to tell you guys that. Whatever you both decide to come up with, I'll try my best to help if needed. I don't want the two of you to go through what we went." Seuncheol mumbled softly before leaving.
Seeing how Seungcheol became a lot happier back then waswhat made JIhoon confessed his love to his bestfriend. And seeing how the root of his motivation had outright told him to break up with Soonyoung came out as a big shock. Especially since the three oldest members still look as close as ever on the outside.
"Hey Jihoon. What should we do...?"
Jihoon remained silent. No way would he willingly give up on his own happiness that easily. Soonyoung, on the other hand, just looked at the floor of the studio like as if that was the most beautiful thing in the world.
After a few moment of silence yet again, Jihoon spoke. "Soonie.. Let's take the risk."
~
2019
Soonhoon. Also known as Howoo. One of the most well-known ships among Seventeen's fanbase. Due to the difference in personality and the interaction. Their duality. They way Woozi pushes away Hoshi's skinship everytime. Even their duet song, Bring It, was a topic that had went on for days.
"Hoshi." Jihoon looked at Soonyoung, eyes piercing into the latter. "You did not just held my hands infront of the concert did you?!" Jihoon grabbed his phone and shoved it to Soonyoung's face.
Soonyoung squints his eyes at the sudden brightness flashed near him. He looked at the screen, only to see many fans, local and international alike, whether they heard it off someone or had seen it themselves, screaming over that fact on Twitter. There are even pictures of it on some fan sites!
"But Hoonie... Isn't that fine? We are just feeding them the content they need. We have been letting them starve since forever!!" Soonyoung pouts. "They won't even know.. It's not like this is the first time too."
"They won't?! How could you be so sure?!" Jihoon slumped back to his swivel chair in frustration. "You know what? Just leave me alone.." Jihoon turns his back to Soonyoung as he goes back to doing whatever work he have on his computer, putting on his headphone.
Soonyoung bit his lips and sighed. Seeing how Jihoon is now back to focusing on his work, Soonyoung silently make his way back to the sofa at the corner of the studio. He just looked at the back of the man he loved. "What did I even do wrong..?" Soonyoung mumbled softly to himself.
It had been a few hours since then and Jihoon finally looked away from his computer screen. He stretched his sore arms, staring at the ceiling above him. He removed his headphone, only to hear soft snoring behind him. He turned his head only to see Soonyoung asleep. A pen rolled off from his hand and a notebook on his lap. Jihoon approached the older male cautiously, not wanting to wake him up. He was about to close the notebook that contains several dots and lines. That was until something on the notebook caught his eyes.
'If only we met through a normal circumstances...'
~
The next few days had been roughed. Preparation for the performance held every end of the year. Needing to come out with new arrangement, steps and even adlibs for every performances. Their world tour.. It have been hectic for all thirteen members, including the power couple.
"Soonyoung. We need to talk." Joshua approached the male. Jihoon who was eating opposite Soonyoung looked at the older of the three.
Soonyoung merely nod and smiles at his boyfriend. "I'll be back soon~ You can just head over to my room once you are done. You don't have to wait for me." With that, Soonyoung tailed behind Joshua until they are both no longer in Jihoon's sight.
"Soon. He won't be able to protect you anymore. Cheollie really need the hiatus and because of that, me and Hannie will have to step up temporarily along with you. That would also mean that you are more exposed and neither me nor Hannie can save you if anything were to happen."
"Shua hyung.. What are you talking about? What are you trying to say?" Soonyoung smiles, in hope to lighten up the atmosphere.
"Carats are smarter than you think, Hoshi. Soon, they will realise that those fantasies they have aren't just fantasies. " Soonyoung felt his throat getting dry. Joshua pats Soonyoung's shoulder. " Please think about it seriously. His job as a producer is at risk and you know what it means. We can't afford to lose any of you."
That day, Soonyoung never returned to his room.
~
the next day
"Soonie." Jihoon leaned his small frame against the door of the practice room.
Soonyoung looked over his shoulder through the mirror wall and saw a pair of eyes staring right back at him. "Oh.. What is it?" Soonyoung walked towards the small table nearby and grabbed a towel.
"Let's end this." Jihoon smiles. Eyes forming the most beautiful crescent in the world. "In fact, I'm tired of you. I'm even bored of you. Now that I think about it, you're the worst decision I have ever made." Jihoon took a step closer to Soonyoung.
Soonyoung eyes widened at the statement. No words were able to be said. He was stunned. Speechless even.
Jihoon is now a few inches away from Soonyoung. He leans closer to the taller male, a slight smirked formed at the corner of his lips, as he whispered. "Kwon Soonyoung. Thank you for this past few years. I wish I have never met you.. Especially under this circumstances." Jihoon took a step back before facing his back entirely against Soonyoung.
"I loved you, my tiger."
With that last sentence, Soonyoung's world fall apart.
--
"Soonie?" Jihoon pulled Soonyoung closer to him as he rubs comforting circle on Soonyoung's back. "Don't worry babe. I'm here right now right? You're no longer in the loop so..."
Soonyoung shook his head. "No.. It doesn't just end there." A melancholic smile slowly taking over the features of Soonyoung. "Jihoon. You may have done what is best of us but you know what happened after that?"
Jihoon slowly shook his head this time, a little afraid of what is there to come next.
"I was walking towards your studio. To at least get a proper closure. But.." Tears that have been threatening to fall finally rolled down his cheeks. "You sang Miracle... again. In your studio." Soonyoung looked at Jihoon, the latter's eyes reflecting a sort of worry and regret for unknown reasons.
"The sight of you was heartbreaking. You were crying badly. Your beautiful voice crack every now and then. I wanted to run to you. To hug you even. But no... I couldn't"
Jihoon locked his eyes with Soonyoung, avoiding the gaze of the latter a second later.
"You said that you love me. You kept on apologising. And also.."
"....unless the time is right, I will do anything to forget these feelings. Even if it means hating you." Jihoon mumbled softly. "When the time is right, I'll come back."
Soonyoung eyes widens.
"Soonie...." Jihoon smiles painfully. "Thank you for waiting. Thank you for staying strong.."