Work Text:
Todd Anderson set up his homework as Neil Perry reclined on his bed, eyelids growing heavy with the need for sleep. He marked his page, set the book aside, turned on his side, and drifted off.
Todd set up the mirror on his desk set to reflect Neil's sleeping face. He frowned and picked up a pencil and attempted to do his algebra homework. He muttered softly to himself about what 'X' might equal, but Neil, though asleep, was a source of endless distraction for him.
He pulled out a piece of paper from his notebook and started writing, making no secret of staring at Neil as he was asleep. He finished his writing and looked it over for a moment. He was definitely in love at this point, but he knew who could help.
He knocked on Charlie Dalton's door, paper in hand.
"Enter the Underworld," Charlie called from inside. Todd pushed the door open. "Oh, it's you, Todd. Come on in. Look who it is, Knox! It's Todd."
"I wish you'd just say, 'who's there'" Knox replied, not looking up from his chemistry. Charlie ignored the comment and offered him a cigarette which Todd refused with a wave of his hand.
"What brings you all the way down the hall?" he said through a plume of smoke.
"Can we talk... alone?" Todd said, voice halting. Charlie nodded and glanced at Knox, who started packing up his things.
"I'll do this in the library," Knox said, leaving.
"Now, what distresses you?"
"I think I'm in love with Neil..." Todd trailed off
"And that's bad?" Charlie asked, narrowing his eyes, with a hint of suspicion
"No, but how do I tell him?"
"I think you have a plan already. That's it, isn't? Let's see what you've got there," Todd held it to his chest, protectively. Charlie raised his eyebrow. Todd cast his eyes down and sheepishly handed him the paper.
"Is this about him?"
Todd nodded, wordlessly.
"Well, let me ponder your query, Mr. Anderson. Just leave your love with me. I'll come up with something.
--
That evening, on the way to the bathroom, Neil slid a slip of paper under Charlie and Knox's door. Charlie picked up the folded piece of paper.
"Oh, Knox! This must be our cordial invitation to the cotillion! Put on your best dress and tightest corset!" He said, putting on a laughably bad southern accent. He opened the letter, read the contents and sighed heavily.
"I'm getting awfully tired of this." he frowned at the poem that Neil had penned about Todd.
Knox looked at him, "And what do you intend to do about it?" he asked, not really knowing what was happening.
"It's gonna have to be big and directed right to them,"
"Just tell me whether or not I may have to come in to identify the body," he said turning off his lamp as Charlie reviewed the two poems. And in doing so, formulated a plan. He turned off his lamp and lay there in the dark working out the wrinkles of his idea.
--
Charlie sat on the bleachers, watching soccer practice, he especially eyed the coach. Practice was over and his time had come. He cast them a winning smile and asked if he could help put the equipment away. The coach, suspicious, nodded.
"I don't know what you're up to Dalton, but I may as well give you enough rope to hang yourself with," with that snide comment, he left.
Charlie, grabbed a few things, including the megaphone in the nonchalant way someone would someone would put condoms and a few other items on the checkout to dilute the effect. He put the equipment into the shed but made sure he was the last to leave so he could leave it unlocked so he could come back to later.
--
The next day, immediately after lessons, during free time he went to the shed and retrieved the megaphone. Todd approached him wondering what he was doing standing under their window. Charlie took the poem from his pocket and put the megaphone to his mouth and started,
"We have moved beyond
the need for displays and songs"
This was ignored, as pranks were not unheard of at Welton. Neil went to the window, wondering about the one-man commotion
"I have come to claim hearts
and you are the start"
He noticed that Charlie was looking him square in the eye. He pointed to his chest.
"You! Of the coffee coloured hair
I have come to lay love bare."
He opened the window, confused.
"Will you be my victim?
To hell with your convictions."
He crossed his arms in minor annoyance but didn't shut the window
"Descend from on your tower, high
"Let poems of dead men, lie"
He noticed Todd standing next to him. He questioningly pointed at him. Todd dropped his eyes though he was blenching with embarrassment. After a moment of this, Todd nodded.
"Right, that was Blondie’s poem!" Charlie exclaimed. "Now for yours, you tall, pale glass of water!"
To Neil's horror, he pulled out his poem and put the megaphone to his lips again but this time, directed his tirade at Todd.
"Your hair is golden
and spun from spider's webs.
Eyes, like a storm tossed sea
and your fingers, nimble threads
It's love, with the things you do to me,"
He looked up at him, touching his hair, eyes and fingers as Charlie called them out.
"Your words fill my mind with pictures
That pour out from your heathen lips
and, yet, you are perfect
from toes to hair to fingertips
and to your soul, I am addict"
It was Todd's turn to point at his chest. He gestured to Neil and mouthed the word 'please' noiselessly. Neil nodded, and smiled.
The coach stormed over, before he could reach them, Charlie noticed
"Oh, shit." He said under his breath and thrust the megaphone into Todd's hands and ran.
Todd looked between the angry soccer coach, Neil and the megaphone a few times before dropping it and raced after Charlie.