Chapter Text
It was late when Jess finally made it back to her room. She had been out with Niv and some of the other pilots celebrating the latest round of promotions—including her own somewhat unexpected promotion to Captain. It was a small bright spot in what had been an otherwise terrible year. Sure, it felt weird to her to go out and celebrate her promotion without Poe, but he had disappeared without so much as a note over a year before, and life had to keep moving on—even with everything else that had happened in the wake of his departure. At least, that’s what Niv kept telling her.
“Hey Testor.”
A hand landed on her shoulder. Jess turned around and swung. She knew it was a good punch when she connected with the stranger’s jaw.
“Kriff. What the hell, Jess? It’s me. Who the hell taught you to throw a left hook like that?”Suddenly, her adrenaline-riddled brain recognized the man she’d just decked.
“Dameron?” She hadn’t seen the man in over a year.
“Yeah, good to see you too.” He rubbed his jaw.
“What are you doing here? Where have you been? There are rumors...”
He crossed his arms and leaned against the wall with a laugh. “Rumors of my demise have been vastly exaggerated.”
“I heard that you and Kun and Arana went to join the Resistance.”
Poe tilted his head to the side. “Ok, that one’s true.”
“You’re kidding.”
“Can we talk?”
“Oh, now you want to talk? Dameron, I went back to the hospital to pick you up. You weren’t there. You left without so much as a word. What was that? Who does that?”
“Jess, I can explain, kind of. It’s not an excuse—you deserve better than that, but it is an explanation of what happened.”
Jess stared at Poe, her eyes hard. “Fine, come in,” Jess huffed and turned to unlock her door.
“No, not here…” he looked around suspiciously.
“Then where?”
---
“This is…somehow a step down from your usual choices,” Jess said, looking around the bar Poe had selected. “I mean, you were always one for a dive bar, but this…”
“Is safe,” Poe finished. “That Besalisk behind the counter is sympathetic to the Resistance.”
He led them to a distant table and sat with his back to a corner. Jess realized he chose the table where he could see the whole bar and no one could approach him from behind. She could see the tension in his shoulders as she sat down across from him. He looked different than the last time she had seen him—like he was somehow both freer and more burdened. Poe motioned for a server droid to bring them two drinks before he looked back at Jess.
“I know you didn’t come back here for a bad bar scene,” Jess prompted.
Poe looked her over. “You look good, Pava. How’ve you been?”
“Why do you care?” Jess replied shortly.
“I probably deserve that,” Poe conceded. “But seriously, how’s everything going?”
“Great. Fantastic. Couldn’t be better,” Jess replied dryly and rolled her eyes.
“Flying for Saren can’t be that bad.”
“Fly…flying for Saren?“ Jess scoffed. “Kriff…you have no idea, do you?”
“Come on, Jess. Don’t be like that,” Poe groaned. “I’m trying.”
“Is that what this is? Kind of pathetic.”
“Jess…”
“Do you know anything about me from the last year?” she asked. “What’s happened since you’ve been gone? What I’ve been through? Have you even thought about me?”
“I have. It’s just…”
“Just what? Not enough to reach out?”
“Jess—”
“I was promised an explanation,” she cut him off, taking a drink of the beer provided. She suspected she’d need something stronger for this conversation.
Poe inhaled deeply and sighed. “You were. After everything that happened with the Yissira Zyde with Muran…I went after the First Order on my own.”
“Arkanis, I know. I was there.”
“No, before that. When I got back, I thought I was being taken into custody, but instead I was taken to meet General Organa. She told me what she was doing, told me about the Resistance. And she made me an offer: she’d clean the slate for me with Deso, or I could join the Resistance. I decided to join her. So did Kun and Arana. And I was gonna tell you, explain everything, but then Arkanis happened and…”
“You disappeared.”
“Organa took me from the hospital minutes after you left. There wasn’t time.”
Jess clenched her jaw and looked away. “Does Kes know where you’ve been?” she asked eventually.
“No,” Poe said quietly. “At least…not exactly. I didn’t tell him, but I wouldn’t be surprised if he’d figured it out. He knew about Muran and he knew that I had spoken with General Organa, but I never told him I was leaving.”
Jess sighed. “Thought as much. He commed me, you know.”
Poe’s voice caught. “He did?”
“Yeah. Hadn’t heard from you in a while, got concerned when he couldn’t get through to you. Said he heard through the ‘Rebellion Grapevine’ that you weren’t with the NRDF anymore, but hadn’t heard if you had actually gotten to Organa or not. And he couldn’t get in touch with you to ask. So he commed me. Asked if I knew if you’d gone off to join Organa and the Resistance, but I didn’t know.” She huffed a laugh. “Right or wrong, it made me feel a little better—cause at least I wasn’t the only one you forgot about.”
“Jess…”
“You could have commed. Either of us. Your dad was at least pretty sure he knew where you were, but I didn’t know anything.”
“It could have been traced. Jess, I know I shoul—"
“You know what? I don’t care. Whatever. Just—why are you back?” She interrupted him.
Poe could feel her anger, but he pushed it aside. He couldn’t think about that right now. His time on Hosnian Prime was limited and he needed to finish his mission. He took a datapad out of his pocket and slid it across the table to Jess. “Take a look at this.”
Jess pulled the datapad closer and turned it on. As she read, Poe watched as her face went from skeptical to intrigued to worried. She looked up and met Poe’s eyes. “Dameron, what’s going on?”
“I’ve been flying a lot of recon missions, trying to learn more about the First Order and how broad their reach is.”
Jess’ eyes grew wide. “So all of this is confirmed?”
“That’s just the beginning.”
“Why isn’t the New Republic doing anything? Do they even know?”
“Do they know? Of course they know, Jess. Come on. The New Republic is blind. They’re locked in a stalemate, refusing to work together while giving the First Order leeway to do whatever they want. The First Order is a paramilitary group and they go completely unchecked. Major Deso actively ordered us not to do anything about them when I was stationed on Mirrin Prime.”
“You never told me that.”
“I didn’t tell you a lot ‘bout Mirrin Prime. We didn’t have the time.”
Jess nodded. He wasn’t wrong. They hadn’t been able to talk much since Rapier Squadron was transferred and Muran had died. “Dameron, what you’re telling me, what you’re showing me…this has to do with the Amaxine Warriors that Organa and Casterfo found a few years ago, doesn’t it? Daxam IV?” She hesitated before adding, “Arkanis? And Muran?”
“Yes.”
Jess sighed. “Look, you know I’m sorry that Muran died. I owed him my life. He was a good man and I miss him. And I know he was…more than a wingman to you.” Poe had never been very forthcoming about his relationship with Muran and Jess had never asked for details, but she knew he and Muran had shared something, even if it was never titled. She hesitated before she continued. “And what happened to him was terrible. But for all we know, the First Order is some poorly organized and armed splinter Empire remnant that’s no more a threat than pirates or smugglers—"
“Are you kriffing kidding me?” Poe cut her off. “You’re talking like what happened to Muran was unavoidable—a tragic accident.”
“Based on the official reports, it was.” Jess could see that her words had ignited something in Poe.
Poe slammed his hand on the table, rage in his eyes. “That’s bantha shit and you know it. Screw the official report. You read my report. And Kun’s and Arana’s. It was the First Order and we all saw them,” Poe growled. He took a deep breath and ran a hand through his hair—a gesture Jess knew was a self-soothing one for him. “You knew Muran, Jess. You know he was an outstanding pilot. He wasn’t some green probie in over his head.” Poe’s voice was thick with anger and grief. “What’s going on with you? You didn’t even need to see the reports to get in a ship and fly off to Arkanis.”
“I flew to Arkanis for you. Not chasing some rumor about the First Order,” Jess said sharply. “Like it mattered to you anyway,” she muttered to herself.
Poe continued on as if he hadn’t heard her. “Jess, what’s happening out there isn’t the work of pirates or some paramilitary splinter group. What’s happening wouldn’t be possible without high levels of organization, massive funding, and more equipment than you can imagine. It’s all connected—Daxam IV, Amaxine Warriors, the Yissira Zyde…hell, even that asteroid field that forced us to land on Ibanjji. It all leads back to The First Order…”
“So you’re saying Gloarten is a part of the First Order, too? Dameron, that’s a stretch. I knew him—he wasn’t the 'join up' type,” Jess said bitterly. No thought of Gloarten was ever pleasant—even if he was dead.
“I’m not saying—” Poe stopped himself when he realized his volume had risen and looked around to see if he’d been overheard. When he spoke again, his voice was much lower. “I’m not saying that Gloarten was a part of it. But you remember that asteroid field? The one that shouldn’t have been there? The one that damaged my ship and kicked off that entire…disaster? That is connected to the First Order. That was a test run for them,” Poe inhaled deeply. “Jess, do you remember how big we thought Arkanis was? This is bigger than that. It’s so much bigger than you realize.” He took the datapad from her and opened a new file before handing it back to her. “Just…look,” he nodded at the pad.
Jess started scrolling through pages of recon reports. “Dameron, I don’t know about this…”
“You do know something’s wrong, though. You can feel it. You can hear it in how people are talking and you can sense it in the tension that’s gripping the galaxy.”
Poe watched Jess’s gaze harden.
“That’s not my job. I’m a pilot. They point me where to go and I follow orders.”
The words were heavy and mechanical: like she had forced herself to learn them after too many documentations of noncompliance or from some insecure CO’s attempt to tame her inner fire.
Her words landed harder than her left hook had earlier that night. Poe stared at Jess in disbelief. “I can’t believe you just said that. Whose words are those? Who taught them to you and put them in your mouth? Because they certainly aren’t yours. And I know they didn’t come from Antilles, or Wexley, or Saren. Damn it, Jess, you are so much better than that,” Poe hissed through his teeth.
Jess leaned back in her chair, drink in hand. “You sure about that, Dameron?”
“Jess, please—” Poe ran a hand over his face. “I don’t have a lot of time. And neither does the galaxy, for that matter.”
“Haven’t lost your flair for the dramatic, have you?” she said dryly.
“The threat of the First Order is real, Jess. It’s huge. TIE Fighters, Stormtroopers, Star Destroyers: Empire-huge. You saw it. And no one here on Hosnian Prime is even talking about it. No one here is doing anything about it.”
“And what exactly do you want me to do about it?” Jess folded her arms across her chest and watched Poe.
“I want you to do something about it. Anything.” Poe leaned forward. “Do the right thing. You’ve always been one to fight the good fight—to stand up to oppressors. So do it now. You own your own X-Wing. Take it and leave. Come with me. Fly for the Resistance.”
Jess chuckled cynically. “So, this is a recruitment speech. That’s why you’re here, isn’t it? Just moved on from Poster Boy of the New Republic Navy to Poster Boy of the Resistance.”
Poe didn’t say anything.
Jess scoffed. “You want me to desert,” she shook her head ruefully. “That’s a felony.”
“I want you to fight for something you care about. For something that matters. Not to be a ‘pointed where to go and follow orders’ pilot or whatever bullshit propaganda they’re pushing on you. You’re too smart for that.”
“You keep telling me I’m too this or too that, but you know what, Dameron? I don’t know that you know enough of anything about me to say anything like that anymore. You were my closest friend for almost three years and then you vanished without a trace. You didn’t even say goodbye. I’m not sure you have the right to talk about me like that.”
“You’re right. I did. I left. But I worked with you daily for two years. I know you better than just about anyone.”
“Knew. You knew me better than just about anyone. Because if you truly know me now, then you’d know that it killed me to not know where you’ve been or what’s happened to you this past year. You’d know what happened after you left—how my world was turned upside down. But that’s the choice you made—to leave.”
“Jess—”
“Do you even know that I was promoted today? Captain…somehow. I was out celebrating with Niv before I came home to find you on my doorstep. But that promotion? I did that. Me. On my own. Against all odds. And I didn’t need your help to get me there.”
“I had no idea. Jess, that’s great! Congra—”
“No,” she stood quickly. “I don’t want to hear it. You’re not my trainer. You’re not my CO. I’m not sure if you’re even my friend anymore.” She threw a few credits on the table. “Thanks for the drink,” she said and left the bar.