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There is a bright light peeking through Shuichi’s eyelids.
He wonders for a moment if the sun has risen, and that’s the cause for it-- but when he flutters them open, reaching out from the warmth of his sleeping bag to rub all the blurriness away and out of his vision, he realises that the light is coming off the moon. The sky is a desaturated but warm tone of purple; it reminds him of Kaito’s eyes, actually, and spotted with stars. Countless stars. In fact when he initially fell asleep a couple of hours ago, it was difficult to breathe in the clean forest air for hour many stars there are.
Rantaro, next to him, is fast asleep, his sleeping back cinched around his head like a cocoon. Shuichi smiles to himself and rolls to the side to press a kiss against his boyfriend’s forehead, but ultimately ends up lying on his back again after a moment, gazing back up at the sky.
They don’t get a lot of chances to go camping like this together. Rantaro’s always flying off to the next country chasing some lead and Shuichi’s so busy with university, opportunities are few and far between. They’ve been planning for this trip for a long time, though. Rantaro made sure to put aside a period when he wouldn’t be traveling, and that it would coincide with Shuichi’s summer break. It’s nice to go camping during summer. It’s still a little chilly, admittedly, what with the dew on his sleeping bag and the light breeze-- it’s not like they don’t have a tent, it’s just that the stars were so breathtaking, neither of them particularly cared to set it up.
The hike yesterday (or maybe earlier today, Shuichi doesn’t know what time it is, just that it’s late) was long. Rantaro has a tendency to underpack because of his natural abilities in a wilderness setting, but thankfully Shuichi has learned from his mistakes and started bringing large amounts of water every time they go on a trip like this, so at least they were both hydrated. They walked on thin forest trails for hours, stopping by creaks and breaking on a log for lunch, until they found this clearing at around seven in the evening. It was a clear night, and still is, so the clearing was ideal to set up camp. No trees to obscure the stars above them. Though, if it rains, they’re screwed. Shuichi is trying not to think about that.
He doesn’t get to see the stars very much. He stayed within city limits for pretty much the entirety of his his childhood and teen years. Uncle Akifumi might’ve taken him camping if he had ever expressed any interest, but his uncle is notoriously busy, and Shuichi’s never wanted to impose, so it never came up. The light pollution in Tokyo is so much that he can rarely see more than a few stars on a particularly clear night. He used to think that planetariums were exaggerating until the first time Rantaro took him camping. He nearly started crying from the vastness of it all. In a good way though, definitely.
Shuichi thinks about the stars sometimes. There’s so much to be worried about-- saying that this is true of “nowadays” would be a bit of a non-statement because Shuichi’s always had a lot to be worried about, so perhaps just in general, there’s a lot to be worried about. In his own life for sure, getting his degrees and getting a real position at his uncle’s agency, not to mention maintaining good relationships and trying to help Rantaro find his sisters and dealing with all the other uncomfortable realities of being an adult and being alive. There are also external concerns though, other kinds of pollution than the light and the rapidly changing climate and the potential for crises all over the map. If not for books and friends to keep his mind off of things, then Shuichi isn’t sure that he wouldn’t lose his mind under the weight of it all.
But… the stars kind of… remind him how small, proportionally, his problems are. Everything on earth has so much potential to be awful, and yet, it could still be so much worse. And there’s so much beyond Shuichi’s comprehension of the universe. He forgets that sometimes. Back in high school, Shuichi had a shared fascination with the stars for the mere reason that his best friend, Kaito, cared about them so much. He’s in training to be an astronaut with JAXA. He has these weird, childish fantasies about conquering the stars, and Shuichi is decently certain that he’s going to succeed. Kaito’s love of the universe is different than Shuichi’s; someone like Kaito could never love something for such nihilistic reasons.
Still, it’s something to think about. And there’s hope, too, in the idea that there might be… other people, out there. Maybe people and life in a way beyond the scope of Shuichi’s comprehensive abilities. But other lifeforms have to exist. In a universe so vast, there’s no way that earth could be the only planet with living people on it. Back in high school, Kokichi (another classmate) used to provoke Kaito by saying that aliens don’t exist, and it would drive Kaito up the wall. The arguments that they got into… Shuichi laughs to himself, stretching one of his hands past is head and feeling the wet grass between his fingers.
Next to him, Rantaro stirs, likely at the sound of Shuichi’s laughter (oops-- he keeps forgetting how light of a sleeper Rantaro is) and after a moment, his eyes flutter open, flickering and adjusting to the bright light coming off of the moon. His green eyes are glazed over with sleep, but he blinks a few times and they come into focus. Shuichi greets him with an apologetic smile.
“What time is it?” Rantaro whispers. “Why are you awake? Are you okay?”
“I’m fine,” Shuichi replies, rolling onto his side so that he’s actively facing Rantaro. “You’re sweet for asking, though; I just woke up. The moon is really bright.”
Rantaro scrunches up his expression, pouting a bit. “Yeah, I noticed,” he mumbles, undoing the cinch on his sleeping bag in order to free himself from the shoulders up. He wipes at his eyes with one hand, and Shuichi laughs again, reaching out to tuck his arms around Rantaro’s shoulders. He’s so warm still (Shuichi hadn’t noticed himself getting chilly in the night air) and he smells good, despite the fact that they were hiking all day yesterday, like the trees around them. He feels it when Rantaro hums, his arms sliding around Shuichi’s waist, brushing kisses against his forehead. “You’re the only person in the world who could wake me up in the middle of the night and get cuddles from it,” Rantaro murmurs.
“Doubtful,” Shuichi smiles, tucking his face into his boyfriend’s shoulder. “I have a good amount of scientific evidence to prove that you’re the most patient person on earth. Also,” he nuzzles Rantaro’s neck and places a couple kisses of his own, “I don’t take constructive criticism.”
“Hmm. You’re going to make a couple fanfiction writers on the internet upset with that mindset.”
“They can kiss my ass,” Shuichi replies automatically, and feels the deep rumble of Rantaro’s laugh against him. His voice is still thick and low from sleep, reactions somewhat slow, but when Shuichi pulls back a bit to meet his gaze, Rantaro’s eyes are half lidded and warm. Despite his words, his gaze his thick with fondness, his lips curled into a small, sweet smile. Shuichi, being a victim of his impulses whenever it’s late at night (or as the case may be, early in the morning), doesn’t bother to stop himself from shifting upwards to capture Rantaro’s lips in a kiss.
It’s slow and lazy, considering that they’re both probably more asleep than they are awake, but Rantaro’s lips are as soft as they always are, and after a moment they move so that Rantaro is flat on his back, his head resting against the sleeping pad that they’ve been sharing, his green hair a mess in his eyes and around his face. Shuichi brushes it out of the way as he leans in for another kiss, relishing the warmth that builds in the press of their bodies together.
This is about as far as either of them is planning on taking it-- it’s too cold to get out of their sleeping bags, and even though the stars are their only witnesses it’s kind of too late/early for anything more than a few sloppy kisses, but Shuichi cherishes the feeling anyway, leans his forehead against Rantaro’s when they part to breathe.
“Good morning,” Rantaro’s voice is a bit husky now, a different kind of smile curling his lips.
“Hey,” Shuichi responds. “I love you.”
They’re such simple words and yet it feels like they don’t say them nearly often enough. Rantaro gazes at him, warm and thoughtful, and pushes himself up for another kiss, hooking his arms around Shuichi’s waist as he sits up. They’re a mess of sleeping bags, and the best word to describe this round is really lazy, but Rantaro’s touch is addicting. Shuichi leans into it, curving his arms around his boyfriend’s neck.
(As Shuichi drifts off, what feels like an eternity and also a few short moments later, cradled against Rantaro’s chest, he hears the sentiment echoed, a gentle and resounding I love you, and Shuichi decides that he doesn’t need something as poetic as the stars to make him feel better about all the problems in the world, when he has Rantaro here to hold him.)