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Chapter Text

Sometimes, Chikage catches glimpses of August in Itaru. It's in the way he styles his hair, in a gentle smile at the end of a long day, in the serious look on his face as he studies a script. Every time he notices, it makes his heart ache.

"Chikage, what's the matter?" Itaru asks, which only makes it worse.

"April, what's the matter?" He would always ask that even when here thought he had covered up his feelings just fine.

"Nothing. You must be imagining things." Chikage dismisses his partner.

Itaru frowns, staring at the controller in his hands as he debates whether or not to let it go and get back to his games. Then he makes his decision, putting the controller down and going to Chikage. "I'm here." he says, hugging the green haired man from the side. There's no pressure in those words, no attempt to pry from him the truth that he doesn't want to share, isn't ready to share. It's just a reminder, he's here, for whenever, if ever, Chikage does want to share. He's here, a warm comforting presence that isn't leaving anytime soon.

And Chikage thinks that's enough.

Chapter Text

A box was tossed in Itaru's direction, right when he was in the middle of gaming too. "Hey! What's that for?" he complained, trying not to let it ruin his combo.

"It's White Day." Chikage stated plainly.

Itaru sighed. Of course Chikage 'Unromantic' Utsuki would just throw his return gift at Itaru, and at the worst possible moment too. Admittedly, Itaru hadn't even really expected a White Day gift from Chikage, so already he was being a little less unromantic than expected, so Itaru really couldn't complain. He thought about just ignoring the gift, just to annoy his senior, but his curiosity ended up winning over in the end. As he finished up a round of his game, he set the controller aside and unwrapped the cutely wrapped box. Itaru squinted at the brand name on the box of white chocolate. "Hey... these are actually pretty expensive chocolates..." he mused out loud in surprise.

"Are they?" Chikage replied, "They were given to me during a business trip. I just wanted to get rid of them since I don't like sweets."

"Of course." Itaru replied, dejected as he tossed the chocolates aside, "As expected of my unromantic senior."

Across the room, Chikage considered telling Itaru the truth, but instead, crumpled the receipt in his hands. Not this time...

Chapter Text

"Hisoka... isn't it a little late for you to be up?"

Hisoka looked over at Homare from his spot on the couch in their shared room and shrugged. To say it was a little late for him to be up was an understatement, but Homare seemingly didn't want to make too much of a fuss over it.

"Shouldn't you be getting to bed?" Homare continued.

If Hisoka were feeling better, he might have said something like "You're one to talk." since Homare himself was still up and writing late into the night, but instead, all he said was, "'M not sleepy." It was a lie, and they both knew it. Even if it weren't for how sleepy Hisoka was all the time, it was obvious how exhaustion was dragging the smaller boy down. Hisoka looked down at the bag of marshmallows that he had mostly been neglecting in his arms as he calculated exactly how long it had been since he last slept. One... two... three... four days... yeah, he could probably go a couple more days just fine. Training he could no longer remember ensured that. Under normal circumstances, he would rather do anything but stay up that long, but now he was glad that whatever was in his past that allowed him to do so was coming in handy.

Still, Hisoka could feel Homare's eyes lingering on him. It was a bit of a pain for him to worry so much, so Hisoka got into bed for his sake. Not that he actually planned to sleep. No, he laid up there, eyes focused on the ceiling as he focused on staying awake. He really did not want to sleep. Because every time he slept, every time those eyes closed, he saw that scene again. That night, that person, the fear, the blood on his hands, the moon above, the sea below. His crime. He didn't want to remember.

Some time passed before Hisoka noticed red eyes peering at him from the side of his bed. "You're still not sleeping." Homare commented. Hisoka turned away, not wanting to have this conversation. It didn't work, as it only prompted Homare to reach out to him. Hisoka slapped his hand away.

"Leave me alone." Hisoka didn't bother trying to lie and say he was okay. He knew Homare would see through it anyway, it was obvious from the pain and exhaustion in his voice. Homare hesitated, not knowing if it was appropriate to press him about it. Hisoka definitely needed someone to confide in, to help with whatever was troubling him, but Homare wasn't sure if it was his place to do so.

Meanwhile, Hisoka felt his anxiety increase. The pressure felt like it was killing him, between Homare's concern, Chikage's taunting, the lost memories that tormented him, and the weight of his forgotten crime, it was unbearable. Tears pricked at his eyes, and breaths refused to come out. He could feel his heart beating in his chest. Too hard, too fast. Wrong. And knowing Homare was right there, witnessing all this go down, his weakness, only made his chest tighten further. He felt like he was suffocating, drowning in the sea water he dreamed of each night.

A hand touched his hair. It was gentle, hesitant, but enough to jolt him back to the present, for him to turn and look at his roommate, who had somehow climbed up into the bed with him while he was panicking without his noticing. Now, he was hyperaware of Homare's every movement as the man, seemingly encouraged by Hisoka's lack of a violent response this time, pulled the smaller man into his arms and held him.

"Breathe." Homare whispered. And Hisoka did. In. Out. "I'm here." Homare said. There was uncertainty in his voice as he struggled to figure out the right way to help, but this seemed to be the way he settled on, as Hisoka wasn't protesting. Hesitantly, shaky arms moved to return Homare's embrace. Homare relaxed a little at that gesture, knowing he hadn't done the wrong thing this time. As they settled in for the night like that, each could only hope they could figure things out in the morning.

Chapter Text

December had always been dragged along by what that person wanted.

"Why don’t you come live with us?"

"Come on, December, we're making gingerbread together!"

"Live..."

Always, December gave in to what that person wanted. Because that person, shining like the warm August sun, was the one who had saved December, pulled him off the streets and shown him the warmth of a home and a family.

Why was it so hard to give him what he wanted now?

"Forget about me and the Organization, and live a new life..."

Hisoka wanted to give him that. He wanted to grant August's final wish. No, he had to grant that wish. But how can I throw away the past that you live in? Hisoka asked. Even though it's what you want... But what about what I want? What about what Hisoka wanted?

"What about what you want?"

When August had told him to write his wish on the wrapper, December had just said he would write the same thing as August, prompting that question from August. What about what December wanted?

"I don't know what I want..." December answered. He could live, have a warm place to sleep, have a family, and eat sweets. What more could he ask for?

"There must be something you want..." Why did August look so sad at that time?

December thought for a moment before answering. "I'll wish for April to stop being so mean." August laughed at that, bringing a relaxed smile to December's face. Despite saying that though, he ended up leaving the paper blank.

Perhaps December had always been empty, except for when August filled him with his warmth.

Now Hisoka had a wish, but it was one that could never come true. I want to see you again... I don't want to forget you again... He sobbed, not knowing how to reconcile August's wish with his own desperate desire to see his family again. How could he forget the person who was the only reason he was here and alive right now?

August... what do I do? He silently begged for an answer, but knew that August was no longer there to give him an answer. August would never be there again to give him the answers he needed, to guide him out of the night and back into the warmth of the sun.

I can't forget you... I'm sorry...

Chapter Text

Guy feels like home in a way that Hisoka can't explain.

He finds home in the taste of the slightly burnt meals Guy cooks for him, and in Guy's warm, comforting scent. He smells earthy, and like the spices of his homeland. The spicy scent is subtle, just the right amount, Hisoka often says. Not like Chikage, whose overbearing smell of spice can often feel suffocating to the sweets lover.

But it's more than just that.

Home can also be found in the way they're both not quite sure how to live as normal humans, but they both try, together, to find their place in this new home they've stumbled upon. It's in the way they both struggle with their pasts. Both know that when it becomes too much, and the past bubbles up into the present, that the other is someone safe and sympathetic that they can turn to.

More than anything though, Hisoka gets that feeling of home when he melts into Guy's arms, and he finds he can relax in a way he struggles to with anyone else. He finds himself feeling safe in the man's strong arms. The feeling of being safe isn't one Hisoka is entirely familiar with, but it's one he embraces whenever he can fall into that warmth, that gentle scent. And Guy is always so gentle with him, strong arms holding him lightly as if he were something fragile. Both know that Hisoka is just as capable as him, but Hisoka loves to be spoiled and cared for and Guy is glad to give him that.

Hisoka likes to care for Guy too. He's not sure exactly when he became such a busybody, but he doesn't mind, he thinks. Not when it's Guy. It's not just the parts of home, the parts of himself that he sees in Guy that he wants to protect. It's all of him, the hesitant smiles that he's not quite sure how to show yet, his serious expression when he's deep in thought, patient emerald eyes that watch over Hisoka, and his deep voice when he scolds Hisoka for sleeping somewhere he shouldn't. Hisoka has come to care for all of him.

Somewhere along the way, Hisoka thinks he may have fallen in love.

Both are still struggling to understand their own hearts, yet still some kind of love had bloomed in Hisoka's heart, nurtured by Guy's care in every moment they had spent together. Hisoka decides he's okay with silently giving himself to this person though, and leaves his love unspoken for now. Because Guy is his home, and that's more than enough for him.

Chapter Text

If one didn't know any better, one might have thought Hisoka was already asleep as he laid curled up in Guy's arms, his head buried in his boyfriend's chest. He appeared peaceful enough to be sleeping, but Guy knew better. Guy could tell by the patterns of Hisoka's breaths, the way his grip on Guy's shirt sometimes tightened just a touch, and the way he would sometimes sigh before inhaling deeply, basking in Guy's gentle scent. Guy knew better, so he didn't feel guilty when he disturbed Hisoka's rest with a question.

"Would you... like to try spooning?"

With as much as Hisoka slept, the two of them cuddled a lot, but for whatever reason, they had never spooned before. Guy wasn't sure if that meant anything, but he had decided to bring it up anyway. At the very least, perhaps it would be a good change of pace.

Hisoka lifted his head a bit, tilting it enough that he could get a good look at Guy. He looked pensive for a moment as he thought it over. Was it really that big of a deal? Eventually, Hisoka nodded. "I have to be the big spoon." he added, making Guy's brows furrow in confusion.

"I'm 13 centimeters taller than you." Guy replied, estimating the difference in the heights with all the precision of the android he once claimed to be. "Doesn't it make more sense for me to be the big spoon?" He would have thought that Hisoka would prefer to be the little spoon. He did love to be held by Guy, saying he felt safe like that. Guy didn't understand.

"No." Hisoka answered, stubborn, not willing to explain himself. He buried his face back into Guy's chest, seeming frustrated.

Guy was feeling frustrated too. He wanted to understand Hisoka, but his partner's heart was just as buried and incomprehensible as his own. He wanted to ask why, but he could sense that Hisoka didn't want him to pry into that right now. Instead, he simply sighed, putting his arm back around Hisoka, which caused the smaller man to flinch at the unexpected touch. Oh. Suddenly it all made sense as he remembered. How could Guy have forgotten that Hisoka didn't like having people behind him?

He recalled watching videos of Winter Troupe's previous performances from prior to Guy's arrival, and other members of the troupe commenting on it when they watched "Mystery."

"Ah, Hisoka had a lot of trouble here. He doesn't do well with people standing behind him, so even though it was only Homare, it gave him a lot of difficulty."

"Don't go telling people about that."

Hisoka had complained, but Guy had been thankful to have been told. It made a handful of their previous interactions make more sense, times when Guy had approached Hisoka the wrong way and spooked him. Guy had made a note of it that day, to be more mindful of the way he approached the smaller man from then on. It was embarrassing to have forgotten, but it was a reminder that he too was only human.

"Ah, I'm sorry." Guy replied. He was unsure how to put his regret into words without bringing up what Hisoka likely didn't want to talk about, so he hoped the simple sorry would do. After a moment of silence that felt too tense, he spoke again. "You can be the big spoon, if you want. Or we can just stay like this."

"Mmm..." Hisoka stretched, then curled back up in Guy's embrace before answering. "I'd rather just stay like this." he murmured lazily. He was getting sleepy again, Guy realized.

"We can do that." Guy replied, beginning to pet Hisoka's soft silver hair as he did, enjoying the feeling of Hisoka relaxing just a bit as he did so. The silence between them feel comfortable now, as Hisoka began to fall asleep.

"Maybe one day..." Hisoka mumbled, a barely audible whisper as he fell asleep, "With you... I could..."

It took Guy a moment to process, to realize that he meant being the little spoon one day. Once he understood though, he smiled gently. "Don't push yourself." he answered, but Hisoka had already fallen asleep.

Guy watched for a moment, taking in the simple image of his boyfriend curled up in his arms that had become so commonplace to him, before closing his eyes and matching up his breaths to those of the man in his arms as he willed himself to sleep as well.

Chapter Text

"Mikage, would you like to help me cook?" Guy had offered.

Hisoka was lazy, and didn't want to, not really, but then Guy had said he could taste the desserts as they made them, and that was enough to win him over. He had just woken up from a nap anyway, so he probably had plenty of awake time before he passed out again, so this was something to do while Winter Troupe didn't have a show to practice for.

"Where are the desserts?" Hisoka asked as he wandered into the kitchen.

Guy shook his head. "Dinner first, then desserts."

Hisoka pouted, but didn't leave. He had already agreed, after all. "What can I do?"

"Do you think you can chop these vegetables for me?" Guy asked. Hisoka nodded. It was easy enough, and in his limited memories of his past, he knew he had done so before when helping August and April cook.

So, he got to work as instructed, letting his mind wander as he did. I wonder what kind of dessert Guy is making this time... I hope he doesn't burn it...

"Ah!" Maybe letting his mind wander was a mistake, as he accidentally cut his finger. He watched as the blood began to well up, rolling down his finger and onto his hand, and suddenly felt sick to his stomach. He'd never had issues with blood before, he was fairly certain, because before he was Hisoka, back when he was December, he was certain he had dealt with it far more often than any ordinary person should. But something about it this time made his stomach churn, and he squeezed his eyes shut to try to erase the image before him.

But that only made it worse. Because instead, another image was brought to mind, one much worse for Hisoka.

Blood was on his hands as he put pressure on the wound, trying to stop the bleeding while his panic filled mind tried to come up with an escape plan. He didn't seem to be successful in either of those things though, because the face of his precious family, the person who has saved him, was rapidly paling, breaths becoming more shallow.

"Don't die! Please! You can't die!” he begged, tears streaming down his face.

"Mikage..." A voice called out to him gently, but it was too distant, and Hisoka was too deep in his memory to acknowledge it.

"I'm... already..."

Bloodstained hands reached for the pendant around his neck, breaking the chain as he pulled it–

"Mikage." This time the voice was louder, more firm, and it brought Hisoka back to the present. He blinked, once, twice, before processing the image before him. Guy was holding his injured hand, having put a bandaid on it already without Hisoka's realizing it. Once Guy was satisfied that Hisoka was back with him, he spoke more gently again. "Are you okay?" he asked. Something told Hisoka that Guy wasn't asking about the cut.

"I..." he wanted to say "I'm okay," but with how his voice trembled just on the first syllable, he knew it wouldn't be believable. He was shaking too. Pathetic. he thought, thinking about how April would have criticized him for being so weak. He tried to take deep breaths instead, wanting to calm himself, but they came out sounding almost like sobs.

"Do you want to stop?" Guy asked, taking his lack of a coherent response as a no. Hisoka merely looked at him for a moment, confused, until he remembered he had been helping with dinner. He nodded meekly. "Do you want me to come with you, or do you want to be alone?" Guy asked.

A single green eye looked up at Guy nervously. "Can you stay with me?"

Guy nodded. "Dinner can wait, I think." With that, he turned off the stove, and allowed Hisoka to drag him back to the privacy of Guy's room. Guy sat down on his bed, and Hisoka climbed into his lap, wrapping his legs around Guy's waist and laying his head on Guy's shoulder. Guy wasn't entirely sure what to do, but he held him back, hoping it would help. "Do you... want to talk about it?" he offered. Hisoka shook his head. A few moments of silence passed as Guy listened to the sounds of Hisoka's breaths slowly calming down.

Eventually, Hisoka spoke. "I miss him..."

"I know..." Guy answered, feeling sympathy and sadness for him. He didn't need to ask who Hisoka was referring to, knowing it was the same precious family he mourned for during Risky Game. "I'm sorry..."

"He was dying in my arms. I couldn't stop the bleeding... The blood... on my hands..." Hisoka continued, finding it hard to stop now that he had started talking, despite not wanting to talk about it before.

Guy was silent for a moment. He couldn't imagine how hard something like that would have been. "It wasn't your fault." he settled on saying.

"I know." Hisoka whispered back. "I just... wish..." Guy nodded understandingly. Talking about it seemed to have calmed Hisoka even further, as before long, he was asleep in Guy's arms.

Guy realized he probably wasn't going to get dinner finished anytime soon like that, and pulled out his phone to text Omi.

I'm sorry to ask this of you, but could you finish making dinner? I'm afraid something has come up, and I might not be able to.

Thankfully, Omi replied with a yes, and Guy sighed as he settled in for Hisoka's nap. He felt guilty for abandoning his dinner duties, but it was worth it for Hisoka.

Chapter Text

Izumi was definitely confused by the sight she had found in the living area. A lump appeared to be laying on the couch wearing one of Homare's jackets. But it wasn't Homare, was it? Homare was visiting family for the weekend, and this lump looked too small to be Homare... Could it be...?

"Nnn... Marshmallows..." A soft murmur came from the sleeping lump.

Of course, it was Hisoka. Who else could it have been?

"Hisoka..." Izumi called out to him, poking his cheek in an attempt to wake him. "Hisoka wake up."

"Hm...?" A green eye fluttered open, and Izumi smiled at him. "Marshmallows?"

"Ah, I'm sorry, I don't have any." she felt a bit embarrassed, everyone knew you were supposed to use marshmallows to wake Hisoka. "What are you doing?" she asked, getting straight to the point in an attempt to distract from the disappointment of her not having marshmallows for him.

"I was sleeping." he answered, his relaxed sleepy face turning into a pout.

"I mean, with Homare's jacket." she clarified. He looked from her to the jacket that was practically a blanket for him, but didn't answer. "Could it be..." A smile crept onto her face as she realized, "...that you miss Homare?"

Immediately, he scowled. "No." Izumi laughed softly. He said that, but he was so obvious. "I just... thought maybe he might have left marshmallows in the pockets. He didn't leave any for me when he left."

It was a poor excuse, but the latter half might have been true. "Ah, I'll have to go out and get you some, or else you might starve to death before he gets back." she teased.

Hisoka wasn't amused, and closed his eyes again. "Hurry up and come back home... Arisu..." he murmured as he fell back asleep.

He really does miss him, huh?

Chapter Text

Homare was reciting poetry again, and it was so annoying that Hisoka thought he might die if he ever stopped.

Because, of course, Hisoka didn't actually find it annoying. It was so calming and beautiful, that Hisoka didn't actually have the words to describe it. He'd never had need for such words before, so now he simply complained that Homare was annoying and noisy. He would never let on that he didn't mean it.

Because letting on how much he liked Homare's poetry could be a slippery slope that led to admitting certain other things he liked. Like the sound of Homare's voice, or his pretty eyes, or his lap when Hisoka slept in it, or his soft hair and the way the long part of it would brush against Hisoka's cheek when Homare leaned over him to offer a marshmallow. In essence, Hisoka was scared of Homare finding out how fond he was of the poet.

Hisoka had never dealt with emotions like this before. At least, he was pretty sure he hadn't. That was the trouble with having no memory, you didn't know what sorts of things you had experienced before. But Hisoka was pretty sure these feelings were entirely foreign to him. In the back of his mind, a fuzzy memory tried to push through, someone telling him how wonderful love could feel, but he pushed it down, fearing if he let himself remember one thing then it wouldn't be long before he remembered whatever painful thing he was avoiding. Instead, he tried to focus on Homare's poetry.

"Like the angel you portrayed / Winter snow, don't melt away / My heart is melted by yours / Frozen by forgotten past..."

Hisoka felt his heart skip a beat. That poem... it was about him, wasn't it? "I hate it." he told Homare, lying like always.

"Is that so? I thought you might. It's too bad." Despite saying that, Homare wore a knowing smile, as if he saw right through him.

Maybe he did. Hisoka could feel himself still smiling after all, and his cheeks felt warm. Goodness, it must have been obvious. Desperate to distract from it, Hisoka urged Homare to continue. "Read me another one?"

"Oho, asking for them now? Perhaps Hisoka is finally becoming a fan of mine." Homare looked way too pleased for his own good. Hisoka would throw a marshmallow at him, but he didn't want them to go to waste.

"Just get on with it."

"Roses in dyed red snow / By a clockwork heart / Now December's anemones grow / Never to grow apart..."

That one was more difficult for Hisoka to decipher the meaning of. He decided to give up on it quickly. It was Homare's poems, after all. No one could really understand them but the poet himself. It didn't make them any less special.

"Shall I continue?" Homare asked.

Hisoka yawned. "You're being so annoying... But don't stop." Don't ever stop.

Chapter Text

Normally Hisoka didn't allow anyone to see his other eye. He was pretty sensitive about it, and because of his quick reflexes, a long time passed at Mankai without anyone managing to get his hair out of his eye so that they could see it. Only one had dared to try once. Yuki, when doing Hisoka's makeup for "Sympathy for the Angel," had casually tried to brush Hisoka's hair away from his face, and he had grabbed Yuki's wrist so quickly and so tightly that the teen yelped in pain and surprise, and no one ever tried to do so again.

But somehow things were different with Homare.

They would cuddling, as they so often did. Hisoka was relaxed and happy in Homare's arms, when the taller man began to gently brush Hisoka's hair out of his face without thinking. It was clearly meant to be a loving gesture, but Hisoka tensed up, and Homare, realizing his mistake, froze as well.

The tension in the air between them was thick for a moment, before both tried to speak at the same moment. Hisoka got his words out first. "Go ahead."

Homare hesitated still, uncertain if it was okay even though Hisoka had given him permission. Hisoka nodded, encouraging Homare to do it before Hisoka chickened out and changed his mind. At once, Homare finished the action he had started. Hisoka flinched a bit as the lighter colored eye was revealed. He took in a deep shaky breath as he tried to calm himself. He trusted Homare.

A soft gasp escaped Homare's lips, and Hisoka, immediately feeling self conscious, turned away and closed his eyes. He was embarrassed, ashamed. Then, a gentle hand cupped his cheek. Hisoka blinked back up at Homare, and saw the same adoring smile that Homare always wore whenever he looked at Hisoka. Like Hisoka was his whole world.

"Beautiful." Homare whispered.

Tears of relief began to fall down Hisoka's face as he embraced Homare. "Thank you." he whispered back.

Chapter Text

"Arisuuu." Hisoka whines. "Come here." Hisoka is stood up on his tip toes, but he still has to pull Homare down to reach him.

"Eh? Hisoka? What are you–" As Homare attempts to protest, he's pulled down to meet Hisoka's lips. Hisoka lets go, but Homare remains bent down, melting into the kiss. When they do finally part, Homare is adorably flushed, and Hisoka smirks.

"Quit being so tall. I shouldn't have to work so much to get a kiss." Hisoka complains, despite seeming pleased.

"Ah, but my dear Hisoka, if you want a kiss, you need only ask." Homare responds.

"Then kiss me again."

"As you wish." With that, Homare bends down to kiss Hisoka again, and again, and again, Hisoka holding onto him like his life depends on it.

Chapter Text

Guy approaches the trembling Hisoka slowly, carefully.

"Don't get any closer." Hisoka says. "It's not safe."

Guy pauses, honoring Hisoka's request, but frowns, deeply concerned. "It's okay, Mikage. You've never hurt me. Ever."

Hisoka shakes his head. "I could." His mind is racing, thinking of all the people he's hurt, all the people who have been hurt because of him. Missions where he's had to hurt, kill. August dying in his arms. April consumed with revenge. Times like now, that he's hurt his troupe mates by reacting on instinct to an unexpected touch. He can't. He can't keep doing this.

"You won't." Guy says calmly. When Hisoka doesn't respond after a moment, Guy resumes walking closer. Hisoka doesn't protest this time. Guy bends down and takes Hisoka's hand and brings it to his throat. Hisoka flinches and tries to pull away, but Guy's grip is firm, keeping slender pale fingers pressed against the tanned skin of his neck. "See. You could kill me now. But you won't. You won't hurt me."

Hisoka doesn't answer, only sobs silently, pulling his hand back the moment Guy lets go of it. "It's okay." Guy says quietly. "May I hold you?" Hisoka nods, and Guy pulls him into his arms. Hisoka's trembling settles somewhat as strong arms hold him, making him feel a bit safer, a bit more secure. "It's okay, Mikage. Everyone knows you would never hurt them on purpose. It's okay." Guy continues. Hisoka remains silent, but as he starts to calm down, his eyes fall shut, and it's not long before he's asleep.

Chapter Text

At this point, Azuma is entirely unsurprised when he wakes with a weight on him, his adorably sleepy boyfriend having joined him sometime in the middle of the night. It's a frequent enough occurrence, and he's always pleased to wake up this way.

"Hisoka~" Azuma calls out, still a bit sleepy himself, before leaning forward to press a gentle kiss to the younger's lips. Hisoka stirs, just enough to lazily kiss back, but shows no other signs of being awake. "Fufu, it's time to wake up, Hisoka." Azuma says, starting to pull away.

Hisoka doesn't let him, sleepily pulling him back with a surprising amount of strength. "Don' go..." he mumbles, pressing more lazy kisses to Azuma's lips, his cheeks, his neck, wherever he can reach without opening his eyes to see what he's kissing.

Azuma laughs softly at his cutely affectionate boyfriend, then grabs a bag of the higher quality marshmallows he keeps on hand. "Come on, love. We have practice." He presses a marshmallow to Hisoka's lips before they can meet his skin again, and a single green eye finally opens. Azuma smiles at him, and he can't help smiling back. "Are you ready?" Hisoka nods, and they finally get up for the day.

Chapter Text

"Senpai... You're not really leaving, are you?" Itaru tries to pretend he's not shaking as he says that, but let's be real here, there's no way his stats are high enough for that. The man he loves is suddenly leaving with no warning at all, and he's a fucking mess.

"I'm not being given a choice." Chikage answers, his voice cold and distant. It stings.

"Why? After all this time..."

Chikage sighs. "I was always going to have to leave eventually. You met me at a very strange time in my life. It's rare I get to stay in one place this long."

"But... but how can you leave us all behind? What about..." 'What about me?' is what Itaru wants to say, but he definitely doesn't think his heart could handle it if Chikage says he's not worth staying for. "What about Hisoka? Aren't you guys family?" he says instead, desperately grasping at any reason for Chikage to stay.

Chikage tenses. "I don't want to leave you all. And I'll still be protecting Hisoka and everyone at this place, but... I've put off my next assignment as long as I could. I'm sorry."

It's strange to hear such a genuine sounding apology from Chikage, and he almost doesn't want to believe it. He's not sure which would hurt worse, if he meant it, or if he didn't. He doesn't answer.

"You're better off forgetting me." Chikage says, his voice growing cold again.

"I can't." Itaru answers. "I won't. Take me with you. Please. Just don't leave me." He sounds desperate, he is desperate, but none of his pleas seem to reach Chikage.

Chikage turns away. "I won't forget you either." he says quietly, so quiet that Itaru almost doesn't hear him. "I'll always love you. Goodbye, Itaru."

"Wait, Chikage!" Itaru calls out, but Chikage is already gone. "I... will always love you too." he says quietly, for no one but himself to hear.

Chapter Text

Omi's eyes narrow at the vampire who so nonchalantly just showed up wearing that same grin as always. "Omimi! I'm here!" Kazunari greets him.

"What are you doing here? This is werewolf territory. You're not safe here." Omi warns him.

"Eh? But Omimi will totes protect me if anything happens, right? Aren't you in charge of the pack around here?" Kazunari protests with a pout. Omi sighs. Even though Kazunari is a vampire, he's somehow fallen for him and his charms.

"Of course... But I still don't want you putting yourself in danger just to come see me." Omi says, giving in and wrapping his arms around the vampire.

"Alright, alright, I'll be more careful next time!" Kazunari relents as well. "But I'm return, you gotta come see me more often!"

Chapter Text

Juza had no idea that Banri was even capable of being so sweet and gentle. It was absolutely unfair how warm it made him feel as soft lips pressed against Juza's, slowly making the kiss deeper and deeper in a way that was so sweet that it almost felt like it wasn't even Banri he was kissing.

And as if his brain wasn't short circuiting enough from the kiss alone, suddenly he felt hands slipping up the back of his shirt, rubbing smooth circles on the bare skin of his back. He lost the ability to think, to kiss back, to breathe even, letting out a small gasp against Banri's lips.

Banri pulled away, wearing the most infuriating smirk. "So I'm definitely the better kisser, right?"

Juza didn't bother to dignify that question with an answer, groaning as he fell back onto the bed. His boyfriend really could be the worst sometimes, but he wouldn't trade him for the world.

Chapter Text

"Why didn't you just tell me how you felt." Masumi sounded angry as he yelled at Juza, frustrated to have found out through others that this was the reason Juza had been avoiding him.

Juza wouldn't meet his eyes. How could he, now that his secret was exposed? "Because I knew how you felt wasn't the same. You've always liked the director. Always. You were never going to feel that towards me. So..."

Now it was Masumi's turn to be ashamed, not looking up at Juza either. "You... met me at a very strange time in my life. I didn't understand my own feelings... That the way I felt towards the director wasn't romantic love. She's like... the mom I never had. I didn't understand that until I... started to have real feelings towards you..." he started to mumble near the end, but Juza still managed to hear his words.

"You... like me?" he asked, finally looking up at Masumi. Masumi nodded. "Really?" Masumi nodded again.

Juza seemed frozen, so, though hesitant, Masumi stepped forward and pulled Juza down for their lips to meet. "I like you." Masumi said.

"I... like you too." Juza answered, wrapping his arms around Masumi tentatively.

Chapter Text

The two sit on the cliff, silent in their mourning. It's August's birthday, so it only makes sense that they would want to be here today.

Eventually, Hisoka breaks the silence with an unsteady voice. "I never did say goodbye. Even though I knew I was never going to see him again, I couldn't say it. I wasn't ready to say goodbye."

It's a long time before Chikage answers. "You can always say it now." he said quietly, his own voice trembling as well, though he'd never admit it.

"Do you think he's listening?" Hisoka asks.

It takes a minute for Chikage to answer again. "I'm sure he is."

"... I don't think I can say it. We're going to meet again, right?"

Chikage nods and leans against Hisoka. His head is turned down, but Hisoka can still feel the tears that land on his shoulder. "Yeah. We will."

Chapter Text

Sometimes, when Tsumugi holds him so gently like this, Chikage thinks he doesn't deserve it. He doesn't deserve such gentleness, such kindness, such love. He doesn't deserve Tsumugi. "Stop." he manages to say, his voice colder than he meant it to be. But Tsumugi doesn't flinch. "I don't–"

"Shhh." Tsumugi cuts him off before he can finish that thought. "You're a good person. You've never hurt me. Ever. It's fine." he says, as if somehow reading his thoughts.

"But I tried to." Chikage protests weakly. "I know you know what I tried to do. To Hisoka. To the director. To the theatre company."

But somehow, Tsumugi still smiles at him. How? "That's in the past. You're not that person anymore." Chikage wants to protest, to say what if he is still that person. But before he can even open his mouth, soft lips just barely brush against his own. "I love you." Tsumugi whispers.

And suddenly Chikage doesn't care about his bloodstained past, the mistakes he's made, and whether he deserves this or not. What matters is Tsumugi loves him, and damn it, he loves Tsumugi too. He's going to make Tsumugi happy, no matter what it costs. He immediately follows Tsumugi's soft kiss with a deeper, more passionate one, putting into it all the feelings he can't put into words.

When they part, Tsumugi looks at him lovingly with a subtle smile. "Thank you." he whispers, pressing his head against Chikage's.

Chapter Text

How had Chigasaki found this place? There was no way he could have managed to follow Chikage to the hideout without him noticing he was being followed. Did Hisoka give him the information? Maybe the director, from the one time he'd taken her here (best not to think about that)?

Seeing Chigasaki standing awkwardly outside, Chikage has no choice but to open the door and immediately drag him inside, against his better judgement. "What the hell are you doing here." he hisses, before Itaru can even process what happened.

"You haven't been to Mankai in days Senpai. We're worried about you. I'm worried about you." 

Chikage ignores his concern. "You need to go back. Now."

"I'm not leaving without you." Itaru says firmly, painfully stubborn. Chikage hates that about him sometimes.

"You're not safe here." Chikage tells him, knowing that if anyone saw him here... It could be bad. For both of them.

"I don't care if I'm safe!" Itaru answers, starting to yell in frustration. "I care about you Senpai, so hurry up and come home already!"

Chikage is stunned into silence by the sudden outburst. Eventually he recovers himself and replies, his voice low. "I can't go back until I've finished my work. If you insist on staying with me until then, then fine. But I can't promise your safety."

"Fine by me. Long as I know you're safe." Itaru settles onto the couch, making himself at home with way too much ease. "By the way, what's the wifi pass?"

Chikage sighs. This is definitely going to be a pain.

Chapter Text

"I'm home." Guy calls out as he walks into the dorms, carrying bags of groceries.

"Welcome home." a weak chorus of voices greet him, most not looking to from what they're doing when he enters. Most, but not all. In the lounge, Guy can spot Azuma looking up at him with a smile. Ah. Guy can't resist smiling back at his partner.

Guy takes a detour through the lounge before heading to the kitchen to put the groceries away, stopping by Azuma just long enough for the white haired man to brush his lips against Guy's cheek and whisper, "Welcome home, love."

As Guy continues on his way to the kitchen, the only sign of their brief encounter is the faint blush on his cheeks.

Chapter Text

A kiss is gently pressed to Hisoka's forehead before Guy gets out of bed. Hisoka grunts sleepily, clinging tighter to his boyfriend. Guy can only sigh, exasperated, but loving. "Mikage, I have to open the bar."

"N... 5 more minutes."

"You said that 5 minutes ago."

Another kiss, this time to Hisoka's lips, before Guy gets up, not giving Hisoka any more time to protest.

"I'll see you there, alright?"

Green eyes finally flutter open to look up at Guy. "Yeah... See you soon..."

Chapter Text

"Too many people..." Hisoka complains, already regretting going shopping with Guy. It's for the bar, for his marshmallow menu, so Guy coaxed Hisoka out with him, but now he's struggling to keep up.

"If you had gotten up earlier, we could have avoided the crowds."

Despite the gentle scolding, Guy takes Hisoka's hand to ensure they don't get separated. "Just hang in there a little bit longer."

The hand holding helps, and the two eventually finish their shopping.

And even once they're done, heading back to the theatre with their purchases, their fingers remain laced together.

Chapter Text

It all happens so fast.

"Mikage!"

The screeching of tires.

That awful red.

Red.

Like that night.

Like–

Hisoka holds Guy's body in his arms. The situation is painfully familiar.

"Don't–! D-Don't d–"

Hisoka's words cut off as a shaky hand reaches up to caress his cheek.

"It's alright... I'll just... need some repairs."

Despite whatever pain he must be in, Guy's voice is light-hearted as he jokes about his humanity. But Hisoka can't find it in himself to laugh with him.

"Mi...kage. Are you alright? You didn't... get hurt... right?"

Hisoka doesn't know how to answer. Sure, thanks to Guy's quick reaction, he's uninjured, but how can he be any sort of okay when Guy is the one who got hurt in his place? How can it happen again that someone else, because of him, is bleeding in his arms.

In the end, Hisoka silently nods. He doesn't want to make Guy worry over him, and that he didn't get hit is probably what Guy is asking about anyway.

Relief shows in Guy's eyes as he smiles up at Hisoka. "You'll... be alright then. You're strong. Just... stay strong for me... and..."

In an instant, Hisoka swears he's seeing double, as Guy's lips form a single word.

"–Live."

Chapter Text

"Did it hurt?"

August tilts his head at July. He doesn't remember getting hurt any time recently.

"When you fell from heaven?"

August bursts into laughter. This is the exact opposite of what he ever expected from his partner.

"Don't laugh at me! I'm trying!"

August manages to stifle his laughter long enough to respond. "Okay, okay, I'm sorry Jul, try again."

July huffs, scowling at August's poorly concealed grin. Then...

"Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I–"

"Ahahaha!"

"August!"

"I'm sorry, I can't, I can't!"

Chapter Text

It's August 1st, and Hisoka is hidden away in his room. An August without August is always difficult, and Hisoka is giving himself this one day to be sad about it and mourn. Clutching at whatever scraps of that life remain–a tattered black jacket, the broken chain of a necklace, other little things–his sobs are too soft for anyone but himself to hear.

And yet, when he hears a knock upon his door, he still startles and quickly silences himself. He'd asked Homare to ensure he wasn't disturbed, with the poet himself agreeing to give him his space today as well, so why is someone here? He gets his answer soon enough.

"Hisoka-san?" It's Omi's voice that calls out to him. "I brought you dinner." Hisoka stays silent, hoping if he doesn't answer, that Omi will simply leave him alone. But it's never that easy, is it? "I know Homare-san said not to bother you, but you've been in there all day, and I've worried that you haven't eaten." More quiet, more silent begging for Omi to leave. "Can I come in...?"

If Hisoka just holds out a little longer, surely Omi will think he isn't here, right? He bites his lip, holding in any sounds, then... He hears the door open. Shit. He quickly hides himself under the blankets, knowing his tearstained cheeks will be a dead giveaway of his mental state.

Omi's footsteps approach carefully. "Sorry, I was just a bit worried when you didn't respond. Are you alright, Hisoka-san?"

There's no avoiding it at this point, so Hisoka forces out a mumbled response. "I'm fine... Just leave me alone."

It's quiet again for a moment, and he wonders if Omi is about to leave, when he hears a dish being set down, likely the dinner Omi promised, then footsteps coming closer again before a hand rests on the top of his head. "It's okay, Hisoka-san." Omi says, his voice soft and gentle. "You don't have to hide your tears, not from me."

Hisoka squeezes his eyes shut, thankful that he's still hidden under the blankets as his body betrays him and produces more tears upon hearing those words. "I'm... not..." he tries to protest, but his lie is weak and easily seen through.

"It's okay." Omi repeats, still so sweet and caring in the face of Hisoka's emotional moment. "Do you want me to leave you alone?"

"No!" Hisoka answers without thinking, immediately ashamed once he realizes what he said. A minute ago he wanted nothing more than for Omi to leave, but now that he's gotten a taste of the comfort the other has to offer, Hisoka doesn't want to let it go. Reluctantly, he peeks his head out from the blankets, and is relieved to see Omi smiling gently at him.

"There you are..." One of Omi's hands raises to wipe away a few of Hisoka's tears as he speaks. "I'll stay then. How about I come up there with your dinner, will that be alright?" There's little hesitation this time either when Hisoka nods, wanting Omi by his side and knowing the other won't rest until he's eaten, even if he doesn't have much of an appetite at the moment.

It only takes a moment for Omi to pick up the plate again and carry it up onto the bed, and Hisoka sits up in response, though he leans his head on Omi's shoulder. "Thanks." he whispers.

Chapter Text

When a figure with long, gently curled white hair passes Guy, he hardly thinks a thing of it. It's not unusual for fans or friends of the other actors of the company to stop by the theatre, so an unfamiliar face being around isn't too unusual at all.

The only issue is, that face isn't unfamiliar at all, and Guy does a double take when it hits him. "Mikage?"

Hisoka turns to face him, silvery locks bouncing as this grown adult actually giggles. "You finally noticed me, Guy~"

Oh dear. Guy already feels like he's beginning to malfunction. "Mi... Mikage, what are you doing?"

Thankfully, Hisoka quickly returns to his usual demeanor. "Mm, was just doing Banri a favor. In return for some marshmallows of course. Do you... like it?"

Guy isn't sure what sort of favor requires Hisoka to be dressed like this, and he isn't sure he wants to know. But he must admit, as Hisoka fidgets with his hair (or rather, his wig?), looking a bit insecure, he is quite adorable. "You look... beautiful." He wants to say more, but the words just aren't coming to him.

Still, even those few words cause that sweet face to light up. "I was going to change out of it, but I could keep it on a bit longer..." There's a suggestive smile on Hisoka's face, and Guy knows exactly how this is going to end.

"Let's head to my room." Guy says, returning that smile with one of his own. "I'll ask Yukishiro to give us some space."

Chapter Text

There's something simply endearing about the way Hisoka falls asleep on him. It only takes a moment, whenever the younger man falls into Guy's arms, but it's just too sweet.

One can see the tension immediately leave that small body, Hisoka melting completely into Guy's embrace. Sure, Hisoka is known for being able to fall asleep anytime, anywhere, within seconds, but there's something special about when it's with him. Hisoka rarely seems as relaxed as when he sleeps with Guy.

Guy recalls Hisoka speaking on that once, saying how he felt safe with Guy, and how the gentle scent of incense that followed Guy made him feel relaxed. Somehow, Guy took pride in that, and after a certain incident in which Guy didn't have that scent, leaving Hisoka restless, Guy takes great care to ensure he always has that relaxing scent and safe embrace for Hisoka to come to.

Even when Hisoka choses the worst times to come to him, Guy can't resist indulging him. Whether Guy is in the middle of practicing for a play, or has plans later in the day, the moment Hisoka falls asleep against him, it feels as though nothing else matters in the world.

For how can he ever deny such a sweet, blissful smile? Guy may not entirely understand his own heart, but he can recognize how it beats harder for such a soft, sweet, man. He'll pull a blanket around them, hold his lover close, and give Hisoka a sweet kiss on the forehead. Anything to ensure he sleeps soundly.

And usually, Hisoka does sleep well. He'll wake a bit later, a sleepy smile on his face and love in his eyes as he looks up at Guy, the image of happiness. And Guy will do anything to see it again and again and again.