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Park Seonghwa met Kim Hongjoong on a cold summer night on his way home when he was eighteen. He first saw him leaning on his black Ducati with a wrapped up nicotine nestled between his fingers. He would later ask Seonghwa for a lighter when the boy passes by. Seonghwa would fish out a zippo (the one that he carries in his pocket just in case he and his friends would decide to get high that night) and lights Hongjoong’s cigarette. They would fuck that night and Seonghwa being Seonghwa, he might have loved Hongjoong quite instantly.
Kim Hongjoong is new in town, Seonghwa learns later that night as he rests his head on the boy’s bare chest. After a moment of silence and post orgasm bliss, nothing but the night sky witnessing their connection, the blue-haired boy detaches himself and leaves. Seonghwa gives Hongjoong a questioning stare and Hongjoong would say, “I don’t stay.” which leaves Seonghwa disappointed. Little did he know, Hongjoong posts his number on Seonghwa’s fridge before stepping out of his door. They became friends.
Everybody admired Seonghwa. He is a straight-A student and has a well-off family to support him. It is safe to say that he is popular because he is included in a group of friends where everyone would receive at least a love confession everyday. Seonghwa is the golden boy. Kim Hongjoong, on the other hand, is the new boy in town. One look at him and he is dubbed as the troublemaker. They’re not wrong though. The town they live in is very small and gossips spread like wildfire. Every fist fights and hook ups of Hongjoong is known. So they question, why is Seonghwa associated to someone like him? They would both laugh it off.
Still, Seonghwa asks him, why? Hongjoong wold then bury his face into Seonghwa’s hair and chuckles. Just because, the younger replies. Then, they would continue stargazing from Hongjoong’s crappy balcony. And Seonghwa loves him a little bit more. They talk about everything and nothing at the same time. Hongjoong was like someone from his previous life because he knows, he just knows . He might even call him his other half. A soulmate. But Seonghwa shakes his head and lets himself enjoy the fleeting moment before it disappears again.
The first time Hongjoong ghosts Seonghwa is on their three-month mark of being friends. He was gone for a week with no replies or messages.
He comes back with his motorcycle and a cigarette in his mouth with that cheeky grin he would throw at Seonghwa every now and then. Seonghwa would look up with his bloodshot eyes (which makes Hongjoong scurry to him and dare ask, “ What happened? ”) “ Don’t ever do that again. ” Seonghwa cries and nestles his nose into Hongjoong’s neck, inhaling the scent of honeysuckle and oranges he missed so much. Hongjoong promises that he won’t. Seonghwa smiles at that, believing because it was Hongjoong. But then, promises are meant to be broken.
It happened six times, Hongjoong disappearing. Half a year of knowing him, Seonghwa was quite used to it. At first, he would welcome the younger with angry tears and the boy would laugh it off. Later on, he would just give him a cold shoulder because there were no tears left. They would always make up, though, in bed.
“Where were you going?” Seonghwa once asked, playing with their intertwined fingers.
“What do you mean? ” Hongjoong’s confused voice would echo through the walls.
“ When you’re away. Where do you go? ” He asks and looks up to see that the other was wearing a blank face.
“ Somewhere.”
Seonghwa stops asking. He knew his limitations. Loving Kim Hongjoong is hard, he thinks and watches as the other man dress up and walk away.
Seonghwa’s parents would catch them making out in his living room when they decided to visit him at his apartment. There were a lot of shouting involved and insults were thrown. Seonghwa ends up with a bruised heart, a disappointed father, a crying mother, and a Hongjoong who held his hand throughout the event.
“ They would come through. They look like good folks. It will be okay. ” Hongjoong whispers to him when they were finally alone. He wrapped himself with Hongjoong and trusts his words.
He loves Hongjoong a lot more than yesterday.
There was almost a time when Seonghwa almost poured his heart out in front of Hongjoong. A time when he was brave enough to finally, finally tell him. Which is why he was caught off guard when Hongjoong says, “You know that I will always love you, right?” Seonghwa stared at him, mouth hung open and frozen. Hongjoong analyzed his reaction and laughed. “Dude, don’t take it seriously. Just a moment of appreciation.” The said boy chuckled and gave him a playful punch on the shoulder.
Seonghwa rolls his eyes and huffs. “ Whatever.”
That day would be the last time Hongjoong says those words to him. It would also be the last time he would see him.
After having their last late night stroll (Seonghwa doesn’t know it yet), their hands wrapped around each other, Hongjoong stops and gives him a hug.
No words spoken, just heartbeats singing to each other in the middle of an empty street. Seonghwa gave him a questioning stare and the other shakes his head, continuing their walk.
Seonghwa would then invite Hongjoong to his apartment.
The night sky became their only witness once again.
“ Stay for the night. ” Seonghwa murmurs, circling his arms to Hongjoong’s body as if he would disappear.
“ I’ll stay.”
Seonghwa slept listening to the beat of Hongjoong’s heart.
The next morning, he was gone.
Park Seonghwa was left by Kim Hongjoong on a cold summer night when he was nineteen. He last saw him with stars dancing within his irises, whispering to him that he will stay. He was wearing nothing but the beautiful grin he would throw at Seonghwa once in a while. Seonghwa cried and cried and cried because he loves Hongjoong just a little bit more than anyone. And he was gone.
The end.