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The early morning sun filters in through the gauzy curtains of your bedroom. It’s early, entirely too early in your opinion, but Bucky is carrying in steaming mugs of coffee on a small tray after having let Poe outside for his morning potty break. He is the best puppy-daddy. It’s obnoxious sometimes how naturally he took to caring for Poe. Bucky never complains about having to take Poe out in the early morning twilight for potty trips, even when it was frigid cold and snowy in March. He laughed at muddy paw prints on the freshly washed floor when spring arrived, re-washing the floor without complaint and then giving Poe a bath too. He loves cold, wet, puppy nose kisses in his face and the hours spent training the pup on basic commands. You’re thankful Bucky has Poe to shower with all of his paternal instincts, he needs it more than he lets on.
“Mornin’.” Bucky says quietly, pressing a kiss to your forehead as he hands you your coffee.
You inhale deeply over the mug, letting the scent of coffee wake you a little more. “Morning.” you echo, throat still a little rough from sleep.
“Poe is napping on the sofa so we should have a little while ‘til we get invaded.” Bucky says sliding into bed next to you, setting his mug on his nightstand so he could wrap an arm around your waist. He pulls you close, resting his chin on the curve of your shoulder. He loves when you first wake up, when you’re still all warm and sleepy and sweet.
“Thanks, love. I want to relax a bit before we have to run errands.”
Bucky presses a few soft kisses to the side of your throat. “I can run out to the store if you don’t want to. You’ve been running yourself ragged all week at work.” he offers.
“No,” you shake your head, setting your mug aside so you can roll over and face him. “We can go together. I just want to be lazy for a bit, that’s all.”
“That sounds like a good plan.” Bucky nuzzles your neck, wrapping himself around you so you can cuddle as close as you’d like.
There’s no need for words for a long while. The pair of you resting quietly in your big bed as the sunlight grows brighter in your room. It’s early June and you can’t wait until later in the morning when you can open all the windows up and let the still cool summer air blow through your little apartment. You still can’t believe sometimes that this is your life. That your little hidden apartment out in the woods has become a real home, with a husband and a life that you love. Your breath stutters for a moment as you’re overcome by your love for the man in your arms.
Bucky notices the change in your breathing, how it’s almost the start of a sob but not quite. “You okay?” he asks, tilting your face up to check.
You nod once, soft emotions still playing across your face. “I just… I can’t believe I have this. You know?”
Bucky quirks a brow at your statement, quiet and letting you continue when you’re ready.
You let out a long sigh, trying to find the words you need to go on. “I think I dreamed of you before I met you. I would have these moments, out of nowhere, where my heart felt so full that it was breaking. It was like I had all this love for someone but didn’t know who they were, or if I’d even meet them someday. Like my heart knew you were out there somewhere and it ached from not being able to love you yet.”
“Oh, my love.” Bucky’s eyes are glistening as he pulls you impossibly closer to him.
“I’m not trying to be depressing first thing in the morning but I just get overwhelmed sometimes. All those years I’d accepted being alone forever, I still had a decent life. But those moments of just aching, hoping for more. For someone I could love and care for and be loved back by. And now I have it, I have you. It’s like I could finally start living the life I was meant to when I met you.” You sniff roughly, refusing to cry. You’re not the crier in this relationship, that’s Bucky’s job.
Predictably, Bucky sniffs as well. “I’m here now, and I’m never going anywhere.” he assures you. “I think I was too afraid to dream of you.”
“What?” you lean back to look him in the eyes. You knew a bit of his life after HYDRA, but not that.
“You remember how I was when I met you. Closed off. Hurting. Even before Steve died I wasn’t the easiest to be around. I didn’t think I was capable of loving someone anymore. And I didn’t want to inflict myself on anyone else with all my baggage. It didn’t seem fair. So I let myself forget that loving someone was an option. It was just easier that way.”
“God, what a pair we are.” you laugh humorlessly.
Bucky smiles wryly at you, “But we found each other. In that horrible little bunker in the middle of nowhere. And you were just... a force. I couldn’t believe you were real. You were so fiercely concerned about me when I didn’t even give a shit about myself. You made me want to care again. You saved me.”
“You saved yourself. I just reminded you that you could. You’re so amazing, even the bits you think are still broken, and I’m going to spend the rest of our lives reminding you of that.” You tilt your head up to kiss him deeply, comforting you both with the contact. And it’s there again, that overwhelming feeling of love so deep you could burst. But now it has a direction, an outlet. You know that this all consuming love is for him, the perfect, wonderful man in your bed. Years of keeping it yourself are finally over and you can share it with him wholeheartedly. And in that quiet moment in the early morning sun, you’re convinced there’s no better feeling in the world.