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“Hey,” Johnny says suddenly. “You remember Donghyuck, right?”
The subway car rattles sporadically again, and Jaehyun looks up from his phone, a little incredulous.
Donghyuck. Who is on Johnny’s lockscreen. Who is loved by everyone Jaehyun knows. Whom Jaehyun has known since middle school. Lee Donghyuck.
“Yeah, of course.” He hesitates. “...Your brother. Mark’s boyfriend.”
“Ex-boyfriend,” Johnny corrects, not a trace of tension in his voice. “They ended it half a year back.”
There isn’t much Jaehyun can say to that, so he blinks and merely says “Oh”, ignoring the way his stomach seems to tighten at the news. He blames it on motion sickness. Subways have never been the most comfortable way to travel.
“Anyway,” Johnny is saying, “we’re planning to meet up today since he just graduated uni, and I was wondering if you’d like to come with us, catch up a bit. He hasn’t seen you in a while.”
Johnny never forces anything on anyone, especially not Jaehyun. But it’s Friday, and Johnny has also seen Jaehyun’s schedule often enough to know Jaehyun never has anything urgent on Fridays. And he’s right—in fact, Jaehyun hasn’t seen Donghyuck in a few years, and needless to say, he does miss the boy’s constant, bright presence; there’s never a dull moment with Donghyuck, and Jaehyun’s work-exhausted self desperately needs that type of energy today.
“Sure,” he says, nonchalant. “I’ll come with.”
Johnny grins at him and Jaehyun suddenly wonders why he’s so nervous about the aspect of seeing Donghyuck in person again. Sure, the fact that it has been a while is something to take into consideration, but Donghyuck has always been Donghyuck, bright and headstrong and easy to be around.
Then again, apparently Donghyuck and Mark have broken up, and Jaehyun has watched those two parade around like a couple since middle school with their petty arguments and silly pranks and inseparableness: Mark and Donghyuck, Donghyuck and Mark. Last time he saw them together they were still attached at the hip, and if that can somehow change, then Jaehyun isn’t sure if the college freshman Donghyuck he knows from back then is the same Donghyuck now. And that pricks at his nerves, just a little.
They arrive at Johnny’s apartment with takeout—according to the elder, he had suggested a fancy restaurant to celebrate Donghyuck coming out of the student life and now going into the working world (really not that great of a thing, Jaehyun thinks to himself), but his brother shot it down by explaining that he didn’t need a six-foot (and some more inches no one’s bothered to measure) man jumping on him in public.
Jaehyun can’t help the snort he lets out. “He’s not wrong.”
“I know,” Johnny says, smiling sheepishly. “I would’ve embarrassed him more than I did at his graduation.”
His phone chooses that moment to vibrate, and Johnny’s face brightens when he presses it to his ear.
“Hyuckie! ...Mhm. Yeah, I see. Okay, oh, and also—“ he glances at Jaehyun, “—remember Jaehyun? He’s here, is that okay?”
There’s a pause as Johnny listens. Jaehyun fidgets.
“Okay. Alright, see you soon. Love you, Hyuckie.”
An audible groan sounds from the other side of the line, and then a quieter “love you too, hyung.” Jaehyun shakes his head, hiding his smile as Johnny laughs.
“He’s excited,” Johnny tells him as he locks the door behind him. “Actually, he’s probably more excited to see his Jaehyun-hyung than he is to see me, his own flesh and blood. I feel betrayed.” Dramatic as ever, he puts a hand to his chest, heaving a sigh.
Jaehyun rolls his eyes and sets down the takeout in the kitchen. “Glad we get to catch up, then,” he settles on replying, because he really, really doesn’t know what to say about Donghyuck looking forward to seeing him again. Something twists in his gut again, and he ignores it pointedly. What’s wrong with him today? Maybe he should schedule an appointment with his doctor soon—if he’s caught a stomach bug, things certainly won’t be pretty.
“Hyuck will be here in about ten minutes, by the way,” Johnny mentions as he busies himself with tableware, and Jaehyun nods distractedly, still worrying about the suspected stomach bug.
“We’ll have everything ready by then, don’t worry.”
Donghyuck arrives two minutes short of eight o’clock, the resounding ring of the doorbell making his presence known.
“Oh my god,” Johnny gasps immediately, running to the door, and Jaehyun realizes that his hands have gotten clammy. He wipes them on a napkin, then fiddles with his jacket and hair—why is he so nervous ?
The door opens, and Jaehyun whips his head in its direction, straightening his shoulders to try and look more presentable than he feels. A formal “Nice to see you again, Donghyuck,” is on the tip of his tongue, well-prepared, but it dies in his throat when he sees the boy at the doorway.
Correction: not “boy”.
The young man at the doorway is dressed impeccably well, smiling so wide it’s nearly blinding, and he’s grown several inches taller, the top of his head coming up to Jaehyun’s forehead now—and his hair is dyed an attractive shade of light, coffee brown and his face has grown longer, sharper; Jaehyun feels lightheaded—
“Hello, Jaehyun-hyung,” Donghyuck greets, voice as sweet as Jaehyun remembers, but it has a melodiousness to it now, somehow older, more mature.
“Hi,” Jaehyun croaks out, sounding so much worse than he’d intended. When Donghyuck tilts his head, he fumbles, “Hello, it’s really nice to see you again, Donghyuck. Sorry, it’s been a long day.”
He can feel Johnny’s observant gaze on his face and resolves to ignore it for now.
“It’s nice to see you again too, hyung.” Donghyuck, thankfully, doesn’t linger on Jaehyun’s rather hiccuped welcome and only beams at him before shifting his attention elsewhere. “Okay, I’m really hungry because I rushed here and didn’t pick anything up on the way, so I hope you guys have something ready or I’m calling Renjun for food.”
The night passes uneventfully; they crack jokes over the dinner table and trade stories—mostly spurred on by the multiple incidents that happened in Donghyuck’s senior year involving mainly Renjun and Jaemin, whom Jaehyun is distantly acquainted with. One look and both elders understand that the looming future, so large and terrifying, isn’t something Donghyuck is particularly eager to discuss. They skip that subject.
Jaehyun finds that Donghyuck, like him, also has an entire album on his phone dedicated to terrible photos of Johnny, because in the younger’s words, “hyung lacks any sense of shame whatsoever; I’m surprised he hasn’t gone viral yet for doing something stupid.”
Johnny pretends to take great offense to this, and the conversation ends with him putting Donghyuck in a playful headlock as his younger brother whines and tries to struggle out of it.
To Jaehyun’s relief, they’re enjoying themselves too much to notice that he’s particularly lacking in appetite today.
By the time it’s almost midnight, they’ve finished two Disney movies and Johnny has long passed out, snoring muffledly facedown on the couch. Donghyuck sighs, a fond sort of sound, and drapes two layers of blankets over the six-foot giant taking up all their sitting space.
“It’s late,” he says as he rises and makes his way to the front door, grabbing his wallet and coat from the counter. Catching Jaehyun’s concerned gaze, he smiles softly, reassuringly. “I’ll be fine, hyung. My hotel’s not far from here, and I have my bike.”
“Still,” Jaehyun protests, and the emotion he’s been pushing down all day resurfaces now, rising in his throat. “Are you sure you don’t need me to drive you back? The bike can fit in the trunk.”
“No, it’s okay, hyung,” Donghyuck answers quickly, and then, at what Jaehyun’s face must look like, he pauses. “Well, if you’re worried…”
“Can I walk you out of the building, at least?” Jaehyun asks. Aside from being worried about the younger’s safety, he honestly doesn’t know why he’s so reluctant to see Donghyuck leave. It’s not like he’s ever been particularly close to him—it’s always just been Donghyuck, Johnny’s little brother joining them during their Mario Kart tournaments, following them around the neighborhood on his bike, flouncing into Johnny’s room while he and Jaehyun were studying only to demand attention and cuddles.
Donghyuck, whose eyes crinkle in an amused smile at him right now. “If you’re worried, I said, you can see me out.”
Jaehyun sighs in relief and hopes Donghyuck didn’t notice him staring. “Okay.”
When they’ve stepped outside into the cool summer night air, Donghyuck turns and embraces him. The warmth is gone in a moment, but it knocks out every prior thought in his mind all the same.
“Thank you, hyung. It was good to see you again.”
“Y-Yeah,” Jaehyun stutters automatically, still frozen. “Um, you’ll be okay, won’t you?”
The younger man snorts. “Tell you what, Jaehyun-hyung.” Without warning, he casually pries Jaehyun’s phone from his stiff hands and unlocks it easily, answering his question before it’s asked. “Change your password to something less memorable than your birthday, hyung. Everyone knows you were born on Valentine’s Day.”
Jaehyun can only stand there and watch as Donghyuck types something and hands his phone back. A number attached to a new contact spelled out in blocky characters—Lee Donghyuck.
“I’ll text you when I get to my hotel, okay?”
“Okay,” Jaehyun answers, thankfully sounding less strangled this time. Then, before he loses his chance, “We should catch up sometime. It’s been too long.”
Donghyuck’s eyes are unreadable in the dark, but he smiles, a beacon in the night. “It really has been, hasn’t it?”
The amber-red glow from the street lights reflects off his cheekbones and illuminates his hair, turning it a pretty bronze; Donghyuck has always been pretty, but he’s more than that now—now, he glows, ethereal, almost like a hallucination, as if a mere breeze can sweep the sight of him into nothingness.
Or maybe that’s just Jaehyun.
“Goodnight, hyung,” Donghyuck says. “I’ll see you sometime.”
“Goodnight,” Jaehyun breathes.
And then there’s nothing more but Donghyuck’s outline, his silhouette blending with the bike’s as he pedals farther and farther away until he completely disappears into the ground view of the cityscape.
The wind still blows, somehow chilling on this warm night.
Finally releasing the mess of feelings entangled in his chest, Jaehyun sighs heavily, making to step back into the warmth of the apartment building. From the moment of Donghyuck’s arrival, his mind has been a disaster, replaying memories that go back years and focusing too hard on every single little detail of the young man’s appearance.
It’s just Donghyuck, he tells himself.
But maybe it’s because of that. Because it's Donghyuck who’s always held the universe in his eyes, whose voice has always been so pleasant and angelic, whom Jaehyun has always had a soft spot for.
When Mark used to be bullied for his awkward middle-of-growth-spurt appearance and soft-spoken personality, it was Donghyuck who first defended him, whose eyes flashed hatefully, voice projecting across hallways, powerful and sharp and threatening as he latched onto his best friend in the whole wide world and promised to never, ever let go.
It was Donghyuck who first held out his hand to the new foreign kid in their neighborhood, a wonky string of badly pronounced Chinese words tumbling out of his mouth, and became Renjun’s first friend in Korea.
Donghyuck has a special place in the hearts of everyone he meets, his very existence meaning so much in the world—Donghyuck, bright and shining and radiant.
“Oh, shit,” Jaehyun mutters, hands coming up to clutch at his head. “Shit. I like him.”
Donghyuck
hey hyung !!
i got to the hotel in one piece if that makes u feel better
jk jk im fine please dont panic
12:13
ok good
remember to go to sleep soon donghyuck
12:13
Donghyuck
u too hyung
goodnight !!
12:14
goodnight
12:14
•••
It dawns on Jaehyun a week later when he receives a certain phone call after work that he never asked Donghyuck where he’s planning on living once he properly settles into the city.
Which is why he’s not prepared at all when Donghyuck announces down the line of the phone, sounding absolutely elated, that he’s moving into the same building as Jaehyun, two floors down.
“Wait, what?”
“We’ll be neighbors!” Donghyuck continues, obviously having not heard him, and Jaehyun hears loud rustling in the background. “Sorry I didn’t mention it sooner, by the way. I’m packing my stuff in the hotel; the moving truck will be there tomorrow morning.”
Everything he says is still moving at too quick of a pace for Jaehyun to fully process, so he just hums and nods along dumbly despite knowing they’re on the phone and Donghyuck is unable to see him.
“Also, hyung. Uh, could I ask a favor of you?”
“Sure,” Jaehyun says automatically, turning off the TV he’s been mindlessly flicking channels through. “Go ahead.”
“Hyung is supposed to be helping me move in tomorrow, but he got caught up in some sort of last-minute weekend interview and he’ll be late,” Donghyuck explains. “So I was wondering if you could help me if it isn’t much trouble? Move in, I mean.”
“Oh. Of course, yeah.” Jaehyun’s head is still spinning. Does he have anything tomorrow? Usually, on weekends he just sleeps in, hangs out at Johnny’s or his neighbor Yuta’s place, or calls Sicheng to ask how his job as a dance instructor in Beijing is going. He has time to spare. “When do you want me to be there?”
“Be down at the building entrance by 10:30,” Donghyuck answers promptly, an edge of humor to his tone. “Thanks so much, and don’t be late.”
Jaehyun smirks. “You underestimate me.”
•••
“Not a word,” Jaehyun grumbles as Donghyuck opens his mouth on the verge of bursting into laughter. “Not a single word out of you.”
“Are you sure you don’t need help with that, Jaehyun-hyung?” Donghyuck calls from behind him, and Jaehyun doesn’t need to look to know there’s a grin splitting the younger man’s face.
“I’m completely fine,” he retorts, hoping his voice doesn’t strain as much as the muscles in his arms as he hauls another heavy box labeled “FRAGILE” up two flights of stairs.
They’ve been at this since late morning—two hours ago—and the exhaustion is beginning to settle in; Jaehyun’s arms are starting to ache and he silently applauds his efforts to force himself out of bed and to the gym before work for the past six months.
It’s conveniently not too hot today, steady gusts of wind keeping the heat of the sun more bearable. Jaehyun ends up sprawled across the pavement anyway, closing his eyes and ignoring the bustle around him briefly before he has to get up again. Johnny had called Donghyuck a while ago saying that he managed to get out of the meeting early and would be here in less than twenty, so they’ve both started to slack off under the promise of Johnny’s solid bear strength arriving soon.
An alarmed yelp startles Jaehyun out of his reverie and his eyes flit over to Donghyuck struggling to lift a particularly large drawer off the back of the moving truck, thin form teetering dangerously near the edge of the semitrailer. In a terrifying second, his footing slips.
Time slows like it always does right during the moments before disasters, from deadly highway collisions to even the dropping of a plate—Donghyuck falls, and Jaehyun springs up and dashes through the boxes littering the concrete ground, nerves turning to ice—catch him, please catch him.
Miraculously, his arms just manage to catch Donghyuck’s torso before he can fall off the truck’s platform.
The drawer hits the ground.
In a moment of stunned silence, they stare at each other; Donghyuck’s eyes are more panicked than Jaehyun’s seen them in years and it’s just short of frightening—he’s so thankful his reflexes didn’t fail this time.
“Are—are you okay,” he manages, breath coming quicker than normal. “Donghyuck-ah, do you—”
“I’m fine,” the younger man says, but it comes out more like a whimper than anything. His hands are fisted tightly in the fabric of Jaehyun’s sweaty T-shirt. “I’m fine, hyung. Just a little shaken.”
His eyes say otherwise—Donghyuck resembled a deer in headlights in the split-second Jaehyun caught sight of his face before catching him, and he has a feeling that there’s something else behind the shock of the near-fall that has managed to reduce him to this kind of state even if it had only been for a few moments. Jaehyun barely remembers a time when Donghyuck has been anything less than self-assured.
What had happened before this?
His thoughts are interrupted by a tug on his sleeve and Donghyuck’s voice. “Hyung, it’s okay, you can let go now.”
“Oh.” Only now does Jaehyun notice the faint coloring on Donghyuck’s face and the blood pounding in his own ears, the sudden adrenaline rush from his dash still subsiding. He lets go of the younger man’s waist gently and feels Donghyuck squeeze his wrist, a strained “let’s not talk about this now” smile on his face.
“The drawer,” Jaehyun says, because it’s the only thing he can think of.
“One of the legs got chipped off and the top drawer box was loosened,” Donghyuck confirms when he jumps down to inspect it. “It’s okay,” he adds when Jaehyun winces. “It was already old and fragile anyway. I’ll probably take it to a repair center when I have the time; it’s not your fault, hyung.”
“Sorry,” Jaehyun says anyway, still feeling somewhat guilty for not being able to at least lessen the damage. Donghyuck glares at him.
“Jaehyun-hyung, shut up. You have nothing to be sorry for.”
He seems to be back to his normal self, much to Jaehyun’s relief, so he nods and doesn’t respond. In fact, he doesn’t need to—the loud honk of a car interjects before either of them can say anything. Johnny’s head pokes out the driver’s window, and Jaehyun watches Donghyuck yell in delight and leap towards his brother’s emerging figure. He lets an easy smile slip onto his face at the sight of Johnny reaching out to tickle Donghyuck in greeting, causing the latter to screech and push in vain against Johnny’s hold. Any lingering worry in his chest could be put away for later.
•••
Donghyuck takes to his new surroundings like a fledgling to the sky. To no one’s surprise, he manages to charm half the building within the week—including Yuta, who Jaehyun knows takes weeks and sometimes even months to adjust to new people.
Funnily enough, Donghyuck also grows extremely attached to Jaehyun’s grumpy, eight-year-old tabby cat who Johnny named while drunk.
“Jeffrey?” Donghyuck asks amusedly the first time, holding out a closed fist for the feline to sniff at.
“Look, Johnny-hyung was really shitfaced, so we kept the name because we thought it was funny,” Jaehyun defends. “Even if Jeffrey’s a girl.”
Hearing her name, Jeffrey fixes Jaehyun with a look that reminds him of his grandmother’s whenever he says something particularly stupid.
“She’s sweet.” Donghyuck strokes her head with a finger.
Jaehyun snorts. “She’s hell. You just haven’t seen what she’s capable of. We got her off the streets in Ansan during the summer after I graduated; that’s why you haven’t seen her in person before.”
Humming, Donghyuck adjusts his sitting position so he can cross his legs. As if on cue, Jeffrey climbs into his lap and curls up, tucking her muzzle into her fur.
Donghyuck makes a delighted sound and Jaehyun pretends that the sight doesn’t make him feel a little lightheaded, oversized shirt and summer shorts and the glow of tanned skin in the early afternoon sunlight. He pretends his heartbeat doesn’t quicken and that his hands aren’t turning clammy again. He pretends and it works, if only temporarily.
•••
“I minored in bioscience,” Donghyuck tells him a week later. “Studied animal behavior and all that, so it’s probably why Jeffrey feels so comfortable around me.”
Jaehyun raises his eyebrows. “Don’t cats have a good sense for people? If she knows you’re a better person than I am, it would explain a lot.”
They’ve established a routine now; Jaehyun’s weekends are spacious and uneventful, so Donghyuck invites himself over because apparently, he has “lots of time to spare” and Jaehyun’s place is “cleaner than Yuta-hyung’s”.
Donghyuck is a level of extraordinary that Jaehyun doesn’t know what to do with. He brings over board games sometimes, free of dust but well-worn around the edges, obviously used, some so old Jaehyun’s sure no one has touched them in years. They’re from his and Johnny’s old house, where their parents live.
Sometimes he comes in with a box filled with strange old toys and trinkets Jaehyun has never seen before, and it’s like a splash of his childhood has been revived. They sit in his living room, shoulders and legs pressed together, Donghyuck’s voice chiming through the apartment as he excitedly picks everything apart and talks about everything he knows to Jaehyun, who is reunited with a nostalgic, childlike wonder as he indulges the younger man in his peculiarities. They read tarot cards and storybooks in English that Jaehyun can just about translate, Donghyuck understanding most of it anyway from living with Johnny for so long.
Sometimes Donghyuck comes in with nothing, and those are the days Jaehyun knows are his to choose what to do with. If the weather is forgiving, Jaehyun takes them outside—to parks and ice cream shops and arcades and spends the day replaying the sound of sweet laughter and the sunlit sight of Donghyuck’s face, bright with an eternal youth he’s sure will never be tarnished.
On days when electricity sparks through the air and the scent of ozone is so thick it’s nearly suffocating, they have movie marathons, and Jaehyun learns that Donghyuck always falls asleep around the end of the fourth or fifth movie. He learns that Donghyuck likes to hold onto something while sleeping, which is both endearing and panic-inducing for him, and they end up either both sprawled out asleep on the couch or, if Jaehyun is conscious enough for his sense of responsibility to still work, with Donghyuck in the bed and Jaehyun sleeping in the living room.
The weeks pass with the promise of something exciting every weekend because anything is exciting as long as it’s with Donghyuck. The routine shifts—it becomes a regular thing for him to sleep over, and the couch in the living room is now more of a makeshift bed. Conversations grow from casual small talk and jokes to things with much deeper undertones, and Jaehyun can feel it—his feelings taking root in his heart, unbudging, more than just a simple crush.
“By the way,” Donghyuck says one evening when they’re doing the dishes, pressed against each other in the small space of the kitchen sink, “Mark and I broke up.”
Jaehyun sucks in a breath. He’s known the whole time, of course, just never prodded because he understands that it’s something he does not have the right to ask about and probably a sensitive topic for Donghyuck. He hasn’t expected it to come up in conversation at all.
“Oh,” he says. He doesn’t know what else to say. I’m sorry? Johnny already told me? That’s surprising? “...When?”
“In my sophomore year, actually. Don’t tell hyung—he thinks we broke up in the middle of my senior year,” Donghyuck adds quickly. He sighs, wiping his hands with a towel. Sensing that this is something he wants to talk about, Jaehyun turns off the sink.
Donghyuck braces his elbows against the counter. “Hyung,” he begins, “remember when you helped me move in?”
“The drawer incident,” Jaehyun answers, catching on. When Donghyuck remains silent, he prompts, “You were scared.”
“More than that.” Under the cold light of the kitchen, Donghyuck almost seems to shrink in on himself, and Jaehyun hates it. He hates how Donghyuck looks so frightened in the moment, face shadowed, hunched over, smaller than ever.
“Hey,” he says quietly, running a thumb along Donghyuck’s wrist. It’s so narrow, he can’t help but note. “Take your time.”
The younger man leans into his side, his body now a familiar warmth Jaehyun has grown used to over countless nights spent accidentally collapsed against each other on the couch as characters chatter away in English on the TV. Their hands lace together, the action coming naturally as Jaehyun curls an arm around Donghyuck’s waist.
It’s silent for the first minute, soft strands of hair tickling the skin where he’s tucked his head under Jaehyun’s chin.
“There was an accident in sophomore year.” In the silence, his voice rings through the apartment. It’s never quiet in Seoul, but all other sounds become insignificant background noise when Donghyuck speaks.
“I…” He inhales. Jaehyun moves the hand on his waist to his shoulder, squeezing it reassuringly. I’m listening .
“I wanted to become a performer.”
Jaehyun remembers—he had been to almost all of Donghyuck’s competitions from elementary school to high school. “You took dance lessons,” he adds, trying to be helpful. “Johnny once said you’ve had the career in mind ever since you were five.”
Shifting in his hold, Donghyuck moved his head to rest in the dip of Jaehyun’s collarbone. “Yeah. My parents never objected to it, so once I went to college all my classes were set up to accommodate the possibility that I was going to dance professionally in the future. Sophomore year is when things got messy and I had to switch around a few things so that that future wouldn’t be completely lost on me.”
Slowly, it dawns on Jaehyun. “The drawer—your accident in uni—”
“I fell,” Donghyuck finishes for him. There’s something in his voice that’s almost bitter, but it’s muted, overlaid by resignedness. “Before the winter showcase that year. I misstepped—fell off the stage during rehearsal and fractured my hip bone—and that was the end.”
The type of incident is common—having three close friends who all majored in dance (two of them now choreographers and one a teacher), Jaehyun has heard of plenty and has second-handedly seen the daunting, realistic fear that leaves dancers with a constant, ugly feeling pricking at the back of their head, some taking years to pick up the pieces of themselves again. A rock-bottom drop in the industry.
Some heal fast, and some never do. It is the truth of the situation; one unfortunate accident can mark the end of someone’s hopes and dreams.
The pain and devastation Donghyuck must have gone through, choosing to give up something that has been his whole life for so long, would have been shattering.
“That’s why you panicked.” Jaehyun’s voice comes out a hushed whisper. “When you almost fell.”
The arms around him tighten, and he knows he’s right.
“It happened exactly like the rehearsal accident—I stepped off the edge and lost my balance and then—” Donghyuck cuts himself off, exhaling shakily. His forehead is creased.
“And then I caught you,” Jaehyun says firmly, an assurance hidden in his words, brushing aside strands of the younger man’s hair to meet his eyes. They’re red-rimmed, a heartbreaking sight.
“Next time.” Donghyuck’s voice trembles, but it’s growing stronger. “Next time, will you catch me again?”
There’s a heaviness behind his words, a single question that Jaehyun understands. Will you? Will you accept this part of me that is scarred?
“Always,” he answers without hesitation, pouring every bit of conviction he has into the word. “I’ll catch you every single time until you don’t need to be caught anymore.”
There’s no verbal response, but Donghyuck sighs, a contented sound, pressing further into the folds of Jaehyun’s jacket.
“I switched majors as soon as I could and studied to become a dance teacher afterward,” he continues, mouth curling up in the tiniest of smiles. “I won’t ever be able to dance like I used to, but I’d still like to help people so that they have a lesser chance of making the mistakes I did, and I can still try my hand at choreographing.”
He says it so casually, even though the acceptance that it is physically impossible for him to go after his ideal dream anymore would’ve been devastating. To lose something held so close to the heart, held so dearly like Donghyuck has held his passion, is always devastating.
Jaehyun’s brain to mouth filter breaks, so the first thing he says is, “You’re amazing.”
Donghyuck blinks, looking a little perplexed.
“No, really—you’re amazing, Hyuck. To go through this kind of shit and still want to use the experience to help other people—that’s incredible. You’re incredible.”
Flushing, Donghyuck shakes his head. “I’m doing what I can. It’s a good secondary path to take—I’m glad I’ll have the opportunity to change things for other aspiring dancers.” He sighs. “Though Mark was distressed.”
Ah. They’ve returned to the original topic. Jaehyun raises an eyebrow in question.
“We broke up a little while after I got out of physiotherapy,” Donghyuck explains. “He was more distraught over the incident than I ever was, actually, and our relationship got strained enough to the point where we both agreed it was best to break it off. We’re still best friends,” he adds, tone livening into something more genuine. “He still fusses over me 24/7 and calls me every few days to make sure I’m doing okay and didn’t get myself admitted to the hospital again, and I always ask him if he’s gotten the number of the bookstore boy he has a crush on.”
“I’m glad,” Jaehyun says warmly, and he means it. “If you and Mark stopped being friends I’m pretty sure the world would be ending.”
“Mark’s stupid,” Donghyuck laughs, no bite behind it. “Please don’t mention the drawer incident to him, ever, or his overprotective ass will literally come from Incheon just to cover everything within a five-mile radius of this neighborhood with bubble wrap, including me.”
Jaehyun snorts despite himself. “If anything like that happens again I’ll do it myself, no need to tell Mark.”
“But you said you’d catch me,” Donghyuck quips, a glint in his eyes as he smirks. “So technically, there won’t be an ‘again’.”
“You’re right, I did.”
Before he can stop himself, Jaehyun tilts his head down just the slightest—presses a kiss to Donghyuck’s temple and marvels at the smile that lights up his face.
•••
As Jaehyun’s friends point out, the change in his life is visible; sleep comes easier and he goes through the days with a newfound motivation to make it to the end of the week.
“You’ve been in a weirdly good mood for the past few months,” Johnny comments one evening when they’ve found the time to go to a restaurant. To Johnny’s left, Yuta blinks at him, something too perceptive and too knowing in his expression for Jaehyun’s comfort. “Did you get a pay raise or something?”
“Actually, I did,” Jaehyun says, because it’s the truth. “I found a way to improve my work ethic recently, so if that’s what you’re referring to, then yes.” He doesn’t mention that the “way to improve” lies within a certain Lee Donghyuck.
Years of knowing Johnny makes it difficult, if not impossible, for Jaehyun to hide anything from him, and the skeptical expression his best friend wears proves that Johnny only seems to accept part of his answer. To Jaehyun’s relief, however, he simply shrugs and lets it slide to continue their conversation from before.
Yuta, on the other hand, catches him inside their apartment building later. His gaze is piercing, all too understanding—and Jaehyun remembers that Yuta, too, has been his friend for years; contrary to Johnny, he won’t take a flimsy pay raise as an excuse.
“It’s only a matter of time before you have to come to terms with it, you know.”
“Come to terms with what?” He knows it won’t work—playing dumb has never worked with Nakamoto Yuta and it never will—and it won’t this time either.
“With the fact that you’ve been in love with Donghyuck for who knows how long and only just realized,” Yuta answers, shrugging. “And that you’re scared because Donghyuck also happens to be the younger brother of your lifelong best friend.” His tone suggests that he’s talking about something as trivial as the weather tomorrow, and there’s a faint, almost rueful smile on his lips.
Jaehyun has known for a while, never daring to voice it out loud, but hearing it come from someone else makes the reality of his feelings more significant than ever.
“Don’t miss your chance,” his friend continues. “Don’t—” He hesitates, something bitter twisting his expression and disappearing again in a fleeting moment. “Don’t fuck yourself over. Don’t make the same mistake I did.”
The memories resurface. Jaehyun remembers now. The unsubtle glances and intimate words, rumors never confirmed nor denied, a single question hanging in the air, always present—left to wither. Confessions never said other than a single, drunken “I love you” that caused the whole friend group to break out into chaos for days. That, too, was never elaborated on.
Sicheng’s gaze avoiding only one person the day he broke the news to all of them—“I got a job as a dance instructor in Beijing,”—and the one time he had asked over a call, quiet and toneless, “Can we not talk about Yuta-hyung?”
The concern in Yuta’s warning, the suffocation that comes with burying your feelings deep into the ground, never letting them come to light, never taking that risk. Missing his chance.
Yuta has once made that mistake, and he doesn’t want Jaehyun to do the same.
Donghyuck is fresh out of university and exceptionally bright, all sorts of opportunities available despite the struggles he’s had to go through to reach this point. Donghyuck is kind and charming and beautiful and so easy to like and Jaehyun realizes that he is afraid, he’s afraid of losing those wonderful strolls in the park and movie marathons and sweet smiles to someone braver, someone asking Donghyuck before Jaehyun can even confess his feelings.
“In all honesty, I don’t think I stand much of a chance,” he admits, shoving his hands in his pockets. “Hyuck is—”
Yuta gapes at him, so he cuts himself off. “Am I wrong?”
“Jaehyun,” his friend addresses quietly, eyebrows raised so far they disappear beneath his bangs. “I assure you, with every fiber of my body, that if you don’t stand a chance with Donghyuck, there is not a single person on earth who does.”
Jaehyun opens his mouth, about to protest, but Yuta silences him with a look. “Jaehyun, I’m not stupid. I work from home every day of the week yet Donghyuck never visits my place as regularly as he does yours. And he loves me.”
“He says it’s because my apartment is cleaner—”
“Bullshit,” Yuta spits, rolling his eyes. “Taeyong literally stops by my place twice a week, Jaehyun. Lee Taeyong. Germaphobe of the century. Do you think he would even take one step into my apartment if it wasn’t spotlessly clean?”
“Still.” Jaehyun wrings his hands. “It’s not that simple. I can’t just—he’s Johnny’s little brother and he just graduated from uni and is ten times out of my league and I don’t want to mess up his plans and I’m a coward and oh god, Yuta-hyung, I can’t do this.” He wants to lie down and cry.
Yuta regards him silently for a moment, and then his eyes soften into something more empathetic; he steps closer and places a hand on Jaehyun’s shoulder.
“It might not seem that way, but it is that simple. Don’t get me wrong—it’s not easy , but it’s simple. As for Johnny, if you’re worried about him being a protective older brother then talk to him. You know he’d never hate you for anything.”
Yuta’s right, Jaehyun admits. No matter how things are and will be, Johnny is his best friend—they’ve known each other since middle school and their relationship has been unfaltering ever since—the mere idea of anything denting their trust in each other is something both of them have always considered near impossible.
“Don’t overthink things. Take your chance—because I know you have one.” Yuta squeezes his arm, withdrawing. “I want you to be happy. Think about it, okay?”
“I will,” Jaehyun promises and returns Yuta’s smile as the other man steps towards his apartment hallway. “Thank you, hyung.”
His mind feels clearer now, and if everything somehow, by some sort of miracle, does work out, Jaehyun makes a mental note to make a reservation at that restaurant Yuta’s been eyeing for a while and to pay the bill to thank him for the push of encouragement.
He’s in his apartment going over how he wants to approach Johnny about the whole ordeal when his phone vibrates, and he checks the caller ID. It’s from Donghyuck, and Jaehyun sucks in a surprised breath.
“Hyuck?” he says, answering the call and putting it to his ear.
“Hey, hyung—sorry, I would’ve texted you, but I was worried it was late and you wouldn’t see it until tomorrow morning.” There’s background noise, a jumble of other voices mixed together, and Donghyuck’s voice seems strained. Worry spikes in Jaehyun’s chest.
“Are you okay?” he asks, immediately standing up.
“Hyung, yes, I’m fine—hyung, sit down, I can literally hear you moving.” A breath. Jaehyun sits back down.
“I’m going to be in Busan for about the next week or so,” Donghyuck starts. “I promised Jeno and Jaemin I would visit them and take a look at a potential job opportunity they said I’d probably like—ugh, I’m really sorry, hyung, I know this is pretty sudden—”
Something cold settles in Jaehyun’s gut and he shoves it aside. “Hey, no, don’t apologize, Hyuck, I know you missed them a lot. Have fun and don’t worry about me.” After a moment of doubt, he asks, “What’s the job, if you don’t mind me asking?”
“Basically, Jeno’s brother has a close friend there who’s a dance instructor and works as a freelance choreographer, and he’s willing to meet up with me and talk about my experience with choreographing and teaching for the future,” Donghyuck explains. “It’s not anything super formal and nothing will be finalized, but it’s a good opportunity and honestly, I’m excited.”
He sounds so giddy even through the poor quality of their call and Jaehyun’s mind is a cluster, partly the same elation mirrored back because this is Donghyuck’s dream; this is something he’s wanted his whole life and had to give up in college and now he’s getting another chance to live it—and the other part a clawing fear Jaehyun knows is selfish, so he pushes it down until he’s sure it won’t show in his voice.
“I’m so happy for you, Hyuck—that’s great, holy shit. Remember to be safe, okay?”
Donghyuck laughs, the sound itself making it easier for Jaehyun to breathe. “You sound like a parent, hyung. I promise you I’ll come back without a scratch—well, unless Jeno’s cats decide to act up—but otherwise, rest assured, I’ll be fine. ” He pauses, and Jaehyun hears him inhale. “I’ll miss you. Even if it’s only one weekend.”
Jaehyun’s heart thumps against his chest hard enough for him to hear. “I’ll miss you too, Hyuck.” He half-smiles. “Keep me updated while you’re there?”
“You know I will,” Donghyuck responds without missing a beat. Then, softer, “It’s past eleven.”
“It is,” Jaehyun agrees. “You should rest.”
“You first, hyung. It’s Thursday and I know you’re tired.”
“Fine,” he relents, too exhausted to argue, “but you’d better sleep too. Worry about yourself first.”
“My train is at one tomorrow; I’ll be fine ,” comes the response, Donghyuck’s smile evident through his voice. “Goodnight, hyung. Take care of yourself while I’m gone.”
“I’m sure I’ll manage. Goodnight, Hyuck,” Jaehyun repeats back, unable to help the longing tugging at his heart knowing that he won’t be seeing Donghyuck tomorrow evening. “You too.”
There’s a hum on the other side of the line, and then the call ends.
Jaehyun is left staring at his home screen. He sighs, tapping the messaging app—he needs to have that meet-up with Johnny as soon as possible.
•••
“Busan isn’t that far,” Yuta says from the passenger seat of Jaehyun’s car because when he’s not being a great friend he’s just a pain in the ass. “Besides, you don’t even know if he’s going to take the job.”
“Busan is on the other side of Korea,” Jaehyun deadpans as he steps outside, “and Hyuck’s wanted this for practically his whole life. To not take it would be almost impossible—and I want him to be happy.”
It’s nearing autumn and the heat of the summer is giving way to lower temperatures—not low enough to be chilling yet, but low enough that the change is visible.
Seasons pass quickly when you have someone to enjoy them with.
“You’re spacing out again,” comes Yuta’s dry comment.
“I thought you were here as moral support,” Jaehyun shoots back, shaking himself out of his thoughts.
“I’m here as backup in case Johnny actually does decide to beat you up or something and throw your body outside—which,” Yuta adds at the unamused look on the former’s face, “has almost a zero percent chance of happening. Now go.” He leans out of the side of the car and gives Jaehyun a light push towards the apartment complex they’ve parked in front of.
Jaehyun rolls his eyes and turns away, shoving his hands in his pockets and locking the car as he walks away because he knows Yuta won’t. So much for “moral support”.
Unsurprisingly, Johnny hasn’t changed out of his pajamas when he answers the door—he’s obviously been awake for some time, but his hair is uncombed and he looks like he just got out of bed ten minutes ago.
Jaehyun doesn’t comment on it. He knows the weekends are Johnny’s slack-off days and that it won’t change anything about the conversation they’re about to have.
“I made coffee,” Johnny says, not sparing him a glance. It’s something Jaehyun has always appreciated about their friendship; their time spent together often lapses into comfortable periods of long silence, things passing between them without needing to be said.
It’s quiet until they’ve both settled down in the living room, sitting across from each other with mugs of freshly brewed coffee.
“You’ve been avoiding me,” Johnny starts. There’s no malice or accusation behind his words—just plain fact.
“I know, and I’m sorry.” Jaehyun’s grip on his mug tightens. “It was never meant to happen.”
Johnny, as expected, seems to catch onto the double meaning behind the phrase. He inclines his head. “I know.”
Well, it’s now or never.
“I need to tell you something.”
Johnny hums. Taking a deep breath, Jaehyun prepares himself for whatever reaction his best friend will have towards his next confession.
“...I’m in love with Donghyuck.”
“I know that, too.”
Jaehyun chokes on his sip of coffee and looks up so quickly he almost gets whiplash. What . “What?”
“I know,” Johnny repeats, his smile growing wider. “I was waiting for you to tell me.”
“Donghyuck,” Jaehyun emphasizes, as if Johnny’s becoming hard of hearing. “Lee Donghyuck. Your brother.”
“Yes? I’m not stupid, Jae.”
“Why does everyone keep saying that,” Jaehyun complains, leaning back against the sofa. “First Yuta-hyung, now you.”
Johnny stares at him for a moment, expression unreadable.
“Well,” he says, setting his mug down, “I’ve known for a while, and so has Yuta, I’m guessing. What I don’t know is why you didn’t want to tell me, because apparently I’m the second person to be informed of this and Yuta was the first.” He raises an eyebrow. “Care to elaborate on why?”
“I was scared,” Jaehyun admits, and it feels liberating to get it off his chest. “That you would be angry. Because Donghyuck’s your brother.”
Johnny’s eyes widen, and he looks surprised for the first time since Jaehyun’s seen him today.
“Hyuck’s my brother, so of course I’m going to put up a proper fight towards anyone who tries to pursue him; you’re right—but you’re my best friend, Jaehyun. Out of all the people in the world, I’d much rather it be you who falls in love with him than some stranger I don’t know.”
Jaehyun blinks, unmoving, and Johnny huffs at him, shaking his head.
“Jae, I love you both and you know that,” he says, standing up and crossing the rug between them so he can sit next to Jaehyun, placing a hand on his back. “Okay. Let me ask you something. You know Hyuck’s in Busan for a week, right?”
Jaehyun nods. “He’s there for a job opportunity.”
“Yeah,” Johnny confirms. “Just checking. How do you feel about that? Don’t lie, Jae, I can tell from your ears.”
“I know, I know. Well.” Jaehyun laces his fingers together and places them on his lap in thought. “I’m happy for him. He’s wanted to be involved in the performing arts industry for a long time and it’s a huge chance.”
He doesn’t like the knowing twinkle in Johnny’s eyes. “And?” the elder prompts.
“And I’m also a mess,” Jaehyun says, shooting his best friend a dry look of defeat. “I’d hate for him to leave, but I want him to be happy and go after his dreams more than anything. If he takes the job and moves to Busan, I’ll still support him with all I have. Happy now?”
“Very much so,” Johnny answers, grinning. “You have the Johnny Stamp of Approval now.”
“Wow, only after thirteen years of unwavering friendship?” Jaehyun jokes, trying and failing to hide his growing smile. “I must have done something incredible.”
Unexpectedly, Johnny leans over and hugs him tightly—something Jaehyun realizes he hasn’t gotten in a while—one of his best friend’s suffocating but comforting bear-hugs. “I’ve missed this, you know,” the elder breathes.
They have been spending significantly less time together during the past few months, which is partly his fault, Jaehyun knows, for jumping to conclusions and letting his own fear get between their trust. He hugs back just a little harder than usual, silently thanking Johnny for being so patient, and the answering sigh is enough.
If Yuta says “I told you so,” when he returns, Jaehyun pretends he doesn’t hear it.
•••
The rest of the week passes uneventfully, save for the pictures Donghyuck spams him with every evening. They’re less touristy and more random, with candids of his friends probably taken unnoticed, and Jaehyun saves every single photo of a cat Donghyuck sends him and tries not to coo. (Especially when Jeffrey is curled up on his lap and shoots him a look like she knows he’s been giving his attention to other animals and not her.)
At around half past three on Wednesday, Jaehyun scours the entire twenty-mile radius of the residence for the best flower delivery shop and drags a very amused Yuta along in his search. They do end up finding a nice one. ( “It’s cute how you want to use flower terminology to confess when you’re probably going to be too much of a mess to remember any of their meanings.” “Shut up, hyung.” )
Also, apparently Jaehyun’s friend circles are more connected than he thought, because he nearly chokes on his dinner Thursday evening when he receives a photo of Donghyuck side-hugging a slightly shorter, very familiar figure who is none other than Ten himself, and then Jaehyun finds out that Taeyong is Jeno’s older brother and has known Donghyuck for several years, and that’s why Donghyuck was able to get in contact with Ten.
Ten, the asshole, has the nerve to laugh when Jaehyun calls him in his shock.
“You’ve got more support now,” the dancer points out casually. “Honestly, though, I don’t know whether it’s mostly support for you or Donghyuck or both, because Doyoung met the kid two days ago and would probably—no, definitely commit a felony for him—and you know Taeyong takes whatever side he takes.”
“Right, they just got engaged,” Jaehyun mutters to himself as Ten makes a disgusted noise (he still has to get a wedding gift for them), and breathes in deeply, trying to make sense of the situation.
“Donghyuck hasn’t stopped talking about you since he got here, by the way,” Ten says impishly and laughs more when Jaehyun flusters and doesn’t reply. “Out of curiosity, I texted Johnny about you two and he told me some stuff, so just so you know, I’m rooting for you and I hope everything works out. Also—before you ask—Taeyong found out yesterday because I told Doyoung and Doyoung told him. It was bound to spread,” he continues without a trace of remorse when Jaehyun groans a “Does everyone know now?” as he buries his face in his hands embarrassedly. Curse Johnny.
On Friday, Donghyuck sends him an excited text saying “coming back tomorrow!!” and promptly makes Jaehyun drop his phone. Attached is a picture of a group of people at a restaurant leaning towards the camera, some holding up peace signs, all grinning. Jaehyun recognizes Donghyuck in the front, with Jaemin and Jeno’s arms slung around him. The hyungs sit across the table—Taeyong and Doyoung and Ten, leaning against each other and sporting identical sly smiles—and Jaehyun can practically hear the inevitable teasing he’ll have to escape from the next time he sees any of them.
Even in the poor lighting of the photo, Donghyuck glows with happiness, a grin stretched across his face so wide his eyes curve into little crescents. Jaehyun saves the picture, texting back a string of exclamation marks, and finds that falling asleep is much harder when there’s someone to look forward to seeing.
Donghyuck texts him at exactly 5:00 pm the next day with a photo of the train station attached. It’s blurry, but Jaehyun’s heart leaps into his throat all the same, and the text reads, in true Donghyuck fashion, “i took a nap on the train and now my back hurts >:(“.
Jaehyun bites back the laughter rising in his throat and glances at the bouquet in the center of his table—it had arrived earlier today and he had been extremely careful not to mess up the arrangement when he placed it in a vase temporarily. It’ll be at least another twenty minutes before Donghyuck gets here, taking the security checks and the time it takes to walk back to the apartment complex into consideration, and even then he knows Donghyuck will be tired when he gets back.
He’s debating with himself on whether or not he should confess tomorrow despite knowing that the flowers will probably wither overnight, and then Yuta texts him as if he can sense the doubt creeping into Jaehyun’s mind. It’s a single phrase.
“Take your chance”.
Looking around his apartment, Jaehyun sees, for the first time, just how much the past few months have changed his life. There’s an extra pair of house slippers by the door Donghyuck uses every time he comes over and pastel-colored sticky notes plastered all over the fridge, little weekly reminders they’ve scribbled for the both of themselves to do the dishes and watch this on that day and other such things. Two of Donghyuck’s blankets are folded on a chair for when they have their movie marathons and a chessboard lies on the living room table along with a stack of tarot cards.
Without Jaehyun even noticing, their lives have intertwined, habits and hobbies overlapping like how Donghyuck has picked up saying random English phrases and Jaehyun has a whole section of DVDs for only Ghibli movies now, the bits and pieces of each other that make up their identities scattered across his home, rooting themselves in place with no plans to leave.
Jaehyun can’t imagine a life without Donghyuck anymore, and the realization spurs him into action.
hyuck
can i come over for a second
i know you’re really tired from the train ride and everything but i need to give you something
6:02
He waits with bated breath, and Donghyuck’s reply comes right away.
Donghyuck
sure !!
but only because u said u have something for me :)
6:03
Jaehyun lets out a breathy laugh, unable to help himself, and grabs the bouquet with newfound determination.
•••
Donghyuck’s eyes catch onto the flowers as soon as he opens the door, widening. “What’s this?”
“I, um,” Jaehyun fidgets. “Is it okay if I come in first?”
Blinking at him curiously, Donghyuck steps aside and locks the door behind them. He’s changed out of his traveling clothes and into sweatpants and a large shirt that just makes his petite form seem even smaller, and Jaehyun feels the blood rush to his ears. “Hi,” he says.
“Hello,” Donghyuck says back, just as soft. He steps closer, almost tentative. “I missed you.”
Jaehyun opens his arms and the tension that comes with meeting after an unfamiliar separation breaks; Donghyuck falls into him and it’s relieving, like a breath of fresh air after being deprived of proper oxygen for so long, and maybe Jaehyun’s being dramatic, but he doesn’t care—Donghyuck radiates warmth and happiness and all things good and beautiful and he’s right here.
“Take your chance.”
So Jaehyun does.
“Hyuck,” he says, pulling away slightly and trying to ignore the pout he gets in return. “Hyuck, um. Okay. I’m going to be really bad at this, so please, just hear me out.”
Donghyuck nods, eyes wide, and, with gentle hands, he takes the bouquet Jaehyun offers.
“So I had this whole thing planned out but forgot at least three-fourths of it,” Jaehyun begins, worrying his lower lip. “The flowers have meanings and I was going to talk about them but Yuta-hyung was right about me forgetting all of that and now I only remember one and oh—this is going nowhere, is it—”
A hand takes his, effectively pausing Jaehyun’s steady plummet of words. “You’re rambling,” Donghyuck says, a tiny smile on his face like he already understands, like he always has—and maybe, just maybe, Jaehyun thinks as all the tangled strings of phrases in his mind clear to reveal a single thought—the most important of them all; maybe Yuta’s right.
It is that simple.
Romance novels and movies—even the greatest ones, with all their confessions of grandeur, of their life-threatening trials and long, emotional monologues to somehow test the depths of their love—fuck them all. He’s never needed any of that. Love has never needed any of that.
Love doesn’t need to be a grand display for it to matter.
Holding Donghyuck’s hand tightly, he takes a deep breath.
All that matters is right here.
“You make me happy,” he says, slowly, genuinely. “More than anything or anyone else in the world. I—I like you, Donghyuck. No—shit, fuck. I’m in love with you. I’ve been in love with you for a while and it took a shamefully long amount of time for me to realize it.” He breathes in, steadying himself. “And it’s completely okay if you don’t return the feeli—”
“Jaehyun-hyung,” Donghyuck interrupts, and his eyes are shining with an emotion Jaehyun’s never seen in them before and—oh.
The bouquet is carefully set aside.
“Jung Jaehyun, if you still have any sort of doubt in your mind about my feelings, I must have fallen in love with an idiot.”
Oh.
There are hands cupping his face now, gentle, comforting, like everything about this—about Donghyuck—has always been, and Jaehyun loses himself to the touch.
“I’ve been in love with you since your junior year of high school,” Donghyuck laughs, and his eyes gleam with unshed tears. The smile that splits his face is blinding.
Jaehyun feels like he might faint with that information, so he curls his hands around the younger man’s waist, swallows and presses their foreheads together. “I’m sorry for taking so long. I’ll make up for it, I promise.”
Sniffing, Donghyuck hooks his arms around Jaehyun’s neck and tilts his head up just the slightest bit. He tugs lightly; their eyes meet.
“Kiss me,” he says, the beginnings of a smirk tugging up the corners of his mouth, and Jaehyun is utterly entranced. “Kiss me, and I’ll forgive you.”
And so he obliges.
Donghyuck’s lips are soft, tasting of the fruity lip balm he always keeps on hand, and he sighs into the kiss, and Jaehyun thinks he could get drunk on this—arms slung around his neck and the warm press of their bodies, kiss after kiss after kiss.
A few tears do escape and he kisses them away, brushing a thumb under Donghyuck’s eyes to catch the last of them. It’s comfortably silent for a while, and then Donghyuck lets out a breathy giggle, hands curling into the fabric of Jaehyun’s shirt.
“Okay, I forgive you,” he says, and for now, all is right with the world.
“So, how was your trip to Busan?” Jaehyun asks later that evening, arms wrapped around Donghyuck sleepily. “You sent me a lot of pictures of Jeno’s cats. I think if I get one more cat picture that isn’t of Jeffrey, she’s going to drop my phone in the toilet once she gets the chance.”
Donghyuck laughs, the sound vibrating against Jaehyun’s chest. “It was fun. Ten-hyung was great—and apparently you’re friends? You never told me that.”
“Yeah, about that, sorry,” Jaehyun says sheepishly as Donghyuck turns to face him with a playful look of betrayal. “I haven’t seen him ever since he moved to Busan when he graduated, but we text a lot. What happened with the job offer?”
“You’re changing the subject,” Donghyuck jabs at him. “Fine. I’m staying here.”
“What?” Jaehyun shoots up from the bed incredulously. “Hyuck—”
“Calm down and let me finish,” Donghyuck says amusedly, placing a hand over his mouth. “I’m accepting the offer, but I’m not going anywhere.”
Jaehyun stares at him, feeling a little stupid. “Huh?”
Donghyuck sighs, but it’s more affectionate than exasperated. “Ten-hyung and I are planning to work together soon with me managing the more technical stuff, so I’m going to stay in contact with him and we’ll discuss things as they come. But I’m happy here, hyung. I’m not giving anything up.” He smiles at Jaehyun, and there’s nothing bitter in it, no regret or pain.
“You’re staying,” Jaehyun says, still trying to process the load of information, and something that has been wound stiflingly tight in his chest finally unravels. “Really? Because you want to?”
“Yes, you dumbass,” Donghyuck answers, teasing, and he laughs when Jaehyun leans down and peppers kisses all over his face giddily, a euphoric sensation expanding in his heart.
•••
Jaehyun ends up paying for the reservation at that new restaurant to thank Yuta and Johnny and everyone else who has played a role in helping him get his shit together. Ten drags the fiancés and Jeno and Jaemin with him from Busan and even Mark manages to come, grinning as he and Jaehyun share a handshake and a “Hey, long time no see.”
Sicheng shows up in the middle of the whole thing unannounced to everyone except Jaehyun and causes an instant uproar. Jaehyun has him caught up on everything already, not missing the way he converses with Yuta in quiet tones when they think no one else is looking, the tiny, almost shy smiles they give each other by the end of the night.
He finds that he doesn’t mind the expensive bill, not even when Yuta practically throws his entire body weight on him in gratitude for much more than just the reservation—not when Donghyuck, grinning, holds out a hand for him and says, “You coming, boyfriend?”
They do attend Doyoung and Taeyong’s wedding several months later and Jaehyun does find a wedding gift, and if Donghyuck cheats when he catches the bouquet the two grooms throw out together (“For traditional purposes,” Doyoung insists at the same time Taeyong says, “For shits and giggles,”) by having Johnny lift him up, no one says a thing.
He hands it to Jaehyun during the reception proudly, their figures silhouetted against the fading sky; streaks of orange and gold against a deep blue, and even with its beauty, Jaehyun thinks Donghyuck is far more breathtaking, a wondrous sight in the night.
Donghyuck, who presses a kiss to the corner of his mouth in the form of a promise not quite grown, but hopeful all the same.
“We’ll get there someday,” he says. Beaming, filled with trust and love and everything whimsically compelling Jaehyun still has yet to fully see the bounds of. Or maybe there isn’t any limit at all.
He interlaces their hands, finding that he doesn’t mind whatever the future holds for them, unknown as it may be.
“We will.”