Archive of Our Own

If anyone had told Natasha Romanoff just how hard and exhausting was it going to be to carry the emotional baggage of two complete idiots that were her best friends, she probably wouldn't have believed them in the first place, but if she had, Natasha would have been off to Tasmania in an instant.

The thing is, she didn't know that, the poor thing. Being the only one in her group of friends that actually had the capacity of reason and logic, and that knew how to actually solve a problem without making a bigger one instead, everyone ran to her when it came to heartache, sentimental stuff, psychological support, training upgrade, weapon usage, nightmares, money lack, culinary advises, fashion lessons, yada yada.

Most people knew her as a cold, heartless person, a trained and cold-blooded spy and assassin that doesn't compare. That may have been a part of her, but that wasn't Natasha Romanoff. That was the Black Widow.

Well, Natasha had countless alter egos and personalities that could differ from one another like black and white, but deep down, she, like all humans, was her own person.

The ones closest to her (very few people, in fact) considered themselves extremely lucky to have the opportunity to know and see the real Natasha Romanoff. Beneath the hard, cold cover that she held, hid one of the biggest and softest hearts on earth.

She was a great, devoted friend, a loving sister, a wise and brilliant teacher, and, for some of them, almost the most caring mother.

Living with the Avengers wasn't easy for her. Natasha was the head and the body that led the group, and believe me, she was probably the strongest person on the planet. And the strongest Avenger too. Living among male superheroes and having to deal constantly with their shit, made Natasha Romanoff a true wonder woman, hats off. And let's not talk about her past.

Patience is the virtue of the strong, they say. Well Natasha was strong but also very, very patient. Despite feeling like a single mom with something like ten toddlers running around the house, Natasha loved them all beyond limits. They were her family after all, the only one she ever had. All the little disagreements and bickerings here and there were mind wrecking, but it was nothing compared to the love with which she embraced them all.

❉ ❉ ❉

It had been a year since Steve found Bucky in Romania. Apart from the initial turmoil and constant fight between what they called 'Team Cap' and 'Team Iron', to which Natasha just rolled her eyes and realised, just then, that she was, in effect, babysitting actual children. A part from that, things settled down pretty easily afterwards, to her surprise.

Bucky went to Wakanda to clear his head of the trigger words and other stuff. Despite his skepticism, he, as everybody else, was extremely surprised when he found out six months later that Shuri's technology and genius actually worked. Since then, he started remembering things from his past life much more and his flashbacks diminished until they occured only a handful of times every month.

While Bucky was peacefully sleeping in cryo though, Natasha was having a hard time talking through Steve and Tony in order to make them reason and act like mature adults.

Nobody knows, but somehow Natasha managed to shake Tony Stark's brains and make him realise that, okay, he had a good reason for hating Bucky and wanting to kill him, but at some point it was enough. It took a lot of patience and pain killers for her headaches to finally talk Tony through it, and in the end, he understood that who killed his parents wasn't Bucky Barnes.

He later learned that the actual Bucky didn't have anything in common with the Winter Soldier or any heartless, cruel assassin, but he was, in fact, as Steve liked to refer to him since he discovered the new generation's language, a true Cinnamon Roll™.

Tony somehow put his ego aside for just a little bit and decided to give Bucky a chance. After all, when he saw what Hydra had done to him, he actually felt bad for all the things that he had done and said to Bucky.

So, while Bucky was fighting the Winter Soldier in his head down in Wakanda, Tony's rage settled down and he completed his grief cycle, coming to the point of acceptance and, uh maybe, a new start.

Natasha Romanoff deserves an Oscar just for succeeding with Tony.

Natasha Romanoff also deserves an Oscar for dealing with Steve.

Because maybe Steve Rogers wasn't as fussy and petty as Tony Stark, but Steve Rogers was a little shit and he had to deal with a huge load of problems. Which, translated, meant Natasha had to deal with a huge load of problems.

Solving all the Civil War issues meant killing two birds with one stone.

At least, when Natasha reasoned with Tony, she solved a huge problem with Steve too, and probably with the whole Avengers thing.

Tony gave up the Accords and the group of Superheroes decided to be a group of Super Friends and maintain their independence from the government. They weren't as free as they were before, of course, and they agreed to pay much more attention when it came to involving civilians in their missions.

Missions that had to be approved and signed by the government and military before they could sail. It was a fair contract after all, and it put peace between the Avengers and the world. Almost.

After all, the various governments seemed pretty tired of all the 'Captain America and his best friend' shit, and decided to put an end to it. Somehow, Bucky, Steve and the others weren't processed. The Avengers had to pay a huge amount of money to repair public damage though, but in the end, everyone was happy with that, rather than being in prison or a fugitive.

So, when Steve and Tony made peace and finally shared a hug, brief, but a hug it was, Natasha exhaled loudly her relief and actually shed a tear or two when it all ended. After all, she didn't want her family to be torn apart.

Steve decided to go to Wakanda when it had been almost two months since Bucky went under. Natasha tried to make him do otherwise though, stating that going there and seeing Bucky would just cause him great pain and heartache.

But of course, Steve Rogers, being the little stubborn shit he was, didn't even consider her words.

"Nat I'll be fine. I'm just gonna talk to T'Challa and Shuri and check the progress Bucky's making. It's not a big deal." he scoffed confidently while he packed his extra pair of fuzzy socks along with the other stuff in a suitcase for a week long trip.

"And you're gonna come back here just like that? Are you really so sure you can do it?" Natasha repeated for the millionth time that week, and again, bless her for her limitless patience.

"Yeah? Why shouldn't I? I know Bucky needs it and it's his choice, 'm not gonna interfere."

"Alright..." she threw her hands up in the air in mock defeat "...but don't come to me in tears and weeping like a baby next week."

Steve Rogers came back to her in tears and weeping like a baby exactly seven days later.

Obviously Natasha didn't push him away, how could she. She was prepared for it and was ready to comfort him through his pain.

Spending a week in Wakanda can be translated in 'spending a week sitting in front of Bucky's cryo chamber'. Steve talked and talked to him all day, even though Shuri said that Bucky couldn't hear him, he kept talking and telling Bucky how he missed him, how he wished he could go back to Brooklyn with him and other sappy, sad stuff.

Everything was going fine, until Steve had to leave and go back to the US.

Natasha got a call at 2 a.m. that day from a very pissed T'Challa, saying how "Captain Rogers is going through immense distress and refuses to leave Sergeant Barnes" and how "None of our men have been able to convince him, even with the occasional use of force, that he has to leave the room in order to make the procedure go correctly."

Natasha sighed deeply and pinched the bridge of her nose, getting mentally ready to be a therapist for Rogers for the next month or so. She had the king pass her Steve himself on the phone and again, magically, she convinced him to come back and coaxed him into doing the right thing.

Apparently Steve cried all the way home on the quinjet. After landing, he ran straight to Natasha, and that's how her brief holiday came to an end.

She had him lay down on her bed with his head in her lap, while she ran a hand through his hair and listened to him talking and crying and eating out of a bowl of ice cream. He kind of reminded her of a woman on her period deep through an emotional outburst, but she quickly put that thought away when Steve snapped her out of her mind.

"Natasha? Nat are you even listening to me!?" he shrieked in offence.

"Yeah Steve, go on..." she sighed and hoped that the crying would tire him soon and he would fall asleep.

"I just- I don't know Nat you have no idea how much it hurts-" he sniffled and shoved another spoon of stracciatella into his mouth "just seeing him there in that chamber, so vulnerable and... pure... he looked like an angel. Nat I didn't want to leave him alone. I don't want to..."

Natasha was thinking about what to say and was reformulating her answer for the forty sixth time hoping it would get to him. Hoping that he would make peace with it, because it was Bucky's choice, and it was necessary. She tried to convince him that he had to do it for his best friend, and he would be back soon, and Steve knew that, he did, he really did... but he just couldn't let go of that piece of his heart resting in a chamber down in Wakanda.

A thoughtful silence fell above them as Natasha thought about what to say, but was interrupted by a jaw crushing yawn.

"I just got him back, and now again, I can't have him. I can't live without him. It's like... like this huge piece of my heart is down there with him, and he carries it. And here... I just feel empty... and lonely... he's the most important thing I have in my life ya know? When I got him back, it's like I got back my life too..."

Natasha knew what was the issue in that exact moment.

Steve Rogers loved Bucky Barnes. And not just in a friendly way.

And Steve, he didn't even know that.

The morning after their late night conversation, as she thought about it, she just doubled over in half and laughed her lungs out til she was crying.

It wasn't the fact that Steve Rogers was gay that was funny to her. She found it pretty cute actually. It was the fact that Steve Rogers was Captain America. It was going to be so, so much fun.

Anyway, the issue was, she couldn't just tell Steve that he was in love with Bucky. First of all, she had to wait for Bucky to return, and see how they acted around each other, and so on.

Steve eventually shushed his roaring heart and settled a bit, waiting for Bucky's return.

❉ ❉ ❉

Four months later, T'challa called Steve and said that Bucky was awake and ready to come back home to New York.

Steve freaked out and almost flew the plane himself to go and pick Bucky up in the hot savannah, but T'challa assured him that everything was already organised and Bucky was on his way.

Steve wasn't really ready for it to happen so quickly and suddenly. He would have wanted a little bit of warning, a message that said that they were going to take Bucky out of cryo at least, but now he had no time.

He rushed to his floor in the Avengers tower and cleaned everything so deeply, someone would have sworn that the queen of England was coming, and not his best friend.

But it had to be perfect. Everything for Bucky had to be perfect.

He had already planned a few months before that Bucky's room was going to be the one right next to his own, so he had decorated it nicely. He had a pretty good memory of what was Bucky's room when they were young. He liked warm colours and simple decorations, very sober and peaceful.

He repainted the white walls with a yellowish colour, hanging between an orange and an ochre, but very pale. The wooden furniture was painted white, and the bed sheets were a warm beige. The numerous, fluffy pillows on the queen size bed varied between burgundy, maroon and white. The curtains were bordeaux, but they were very transparent, so the light entered freely through the window and filled the room with coziness and placidity.

The bed was put between two high, floor-to-ceiling glass windows, that led to a big enough balcony, which was connected with the one leading to Steve's room. On the opposite side of the bed, there was a mirror hanging on the wall, and underneath it a dresser, waiting to be filled with Bucky's stuff.

To make Bucky feel more at home, Steve put some old photos of them around the room, some on the shelves and some on the bedside tables, all of them picturing the pair during the 40s. He even made a beautiful painting of a Brooklyn sunset and put it on the wall right above the bed.

Natasha was pretty stunned when she saw how dedicated Steve was and how good it actually came out.

Ya know, it was just the stuff friends do for each other, no big deal.

She suggested him to become an interior designer one day, in case he decided to hang his Captain America mantle. Steve may or may not have given it a thought.

Anyway, right now he was just hoping that Bucky would like it, and that he would feel comfortable and safe in his new home.

At about 6 p.m., Jarvis announced that the plane carrying Bucky had landed.

Steve rushed to the elevator and reached the landing platform in a moment, buzzing and freaking like an excited kid about to open their present.

Bucky was the best present he could ever receive anyway.

All sorts of emotions were sparkling through his nerves. Happiness, nervousness, fear, excitement, anticipation were all making his heart race in his chest fueled with rushing adrenaline.

His eyes were wide as he waited for his best friend to exit the plane, and God he mentally scolded himself for being so childish, knowing he probably wasn't even able to form a sentence that made some sense at the moment.

His breath suddenly stopped as his eyes caught a glimpse in the shadow, behind the quinjet's open door.

The figure moved forward with slow cautiousness, making their way out of the darkness and stepping into the warm evening sunlight.

And... there he was. Glancing around himself for a few seconds, disoriented and confused by the new place, before his furrowed eyes settled on Steve.

After waiting and dreaming of this moment for so long, Bucky was finally there. Six months of impatience and longing, of worry and loneliness. This time it wasn't just a dream, it was real, it was all so real.

As soon as Bucky spotted Steve, his anxiety subsided a little, finally seeing someone familiar. He smiled timidly and approached his best friend.

His best friend who looked like he had just seen Jesus himself.

Steve wasn't really sure how to act. For all he knew, he just wanted to tackle Bucky in a bear hug and squeeze him and never let him go.

But Steve wasn't stupid. Bucky was delicate and vulnerable, so he had to be cautious with everything he did around him. Maybe he didn't even want to be touched, or talked to. Steve hoped that wasn't the case, but that little bad voice in his head was reminding him of all negative scenarios that could happen.

He gulped and straightened his spine, in an attempt to hide his nervousness.

"Hey Buck." he spoke first, voice shaky and smiling softly at his approaching friend.

Bucky smiled wider at the sound of his voice and stopped right in front of him.

"Hey punk..." he replied half confidently, trying to wear that 40s Bucky smile, and hoping it was working, hoping he could be the man he once was.

Steve launched himself towards Bucky and threw his arms around him, squeezing the life out of him.

"You're a jerk." his trembling, whispered voice was muffled by Bucky's shoulder, and tears were freely falling from his eyes, soaking his best friend's shirt.

But he was so happy, so happy he couldn't stop smiling and crying.

Bucky circled his arms around him immediately, returning the hug and holding onto his body like his life depended on it. He couldn't help but cry too, finally feeling like he was back home, after all that time.

"God I missed you so much..." Steve said between soft sobs.

"I know..." Bucky chuckled softly and sniffled, his face buried in Steve's neck "I missed you too Steve. So much."

They stayed like that for another couple of minutes, not noticing Natasha in the background smiling fondly at the sight, snapping cute pictures of the pair on her phone.

When they reluctantly pulled away, already missing each other's warmth and comfort, they had only a second to gaze softly at the other, before Natasha cleared her throat signaling her presence.

They both turned at the sound like pets being called by their owner.

"Gotta admit it, that was a pretty cute reunion." she smirked at them as she approached, and Bucky's cheeks suddenly turned warm and pink.

"Hi Natasha..." he said sheepishly, not really comfortable in front of her like he was with Steve, but Steve trusted her, so it was okay.

"Hello James, welcome back." and then, just to be a little shit for the start "Steve here has been gushing and freaking out about you all the time I almost thought he was going to propose to you."

Natasha can be a little mischievous sometimes, and she fully enjoyed seeing her words affect the two secretly-in-love-with-each-other boys, watching Bucky Barnes turn red as a tomato and look anywhere but at Steve, and mighty and stern Captain America grow an embarrassing blush probably taking over his entire body, gaping at her with wide eyes.

"Uh..." he nervously chuckled and scratched the back of his neck "Yeah uh... I mean- let me show me your room!"

Steve, as the idiot he is, probably didn't understand why that comment made him feel flustered and his stomach did a weird flip, but he certainly questioned it later that night. Oh, he certainly didn't check out on the internet 'how to know if you like your best friend' or 'how to know if you like the same sex' on some weird sites called Buzzfeed. Not at all.

But anyway, he was extremely relieved in that moment that Natasha and Bucky followed him into the tower and didn't say anything about it, even if he could feel Natasha's amused smirk poking holes in the back of his skull.

Natasha left them on the way to his floor, stopping before to go God knows where.

❉ ❉ ❉

To say that Steve was nervous would be an understatement.

Nope. Steve was dying.

Because he couldn't stop thinking about the butterflies fluttering in his belly. And he really hoped that Bucky didn't notice how red and blubbery he had turned.

He also wanted Bucky to like his new room, because it seemed that his opinion on his decorating skills was far more important than he thought.

The silence lingering between them since they entered the tower was really making the hairs on his neck prickle with anxiety and discomfort too.

Bucky was quiet, casting his eyes shyly to the floor, his arms occupied with his bag of little belongings he had.

Steve mentally scolded himself for not taking his bag for him. Bucky was a guest and had just landed, he was probably tired. Momma Rogers didn't raise you this way Steve, ts ts.

Fuck he had to say something.

Still in the elevator, and seriously why did Tony have to make so many floors, he decided to speak first and really hoped that the sound coming from his throat didn't resemble a horse or something.

"So um..." oh good, he just sounded like a pimply teenager with his undefined puberty voice.

He cleared his throat and tried again, noticing that Bucky was now looking at him, expecting something.

"I arranged your room on my floor. I hope you don't mind but I figured you wouldn't like being alone on a floor on your own in a tower like this... uh not yet I mean. Is- is that okay? Because if you wa-"

"Yeah Steve it's perfect." Bucky smiled and seriously, how could it not be okay. He really just wanted to sleep in Steve's bed, plastered against Steve's sexy body, but a room on his floor was just fine. "I prefer being close to you."

That made him blush again and now Steve was looking at him ugh- thank God the elevator doors opened and they soon had else on their minds.

"I know it's a lot." Steve said sheepishly as they stepped into the apartment, Bucky gaping and watching around at the huge, modern space "It took me a while to get used to it. I'm happy I won't be alone here anymore though, sometimes it just gets lonely."

Steve felt like he was probably talking too much, and the fact that Bucky barely spoke any word didn't make it any better. But after all that happened to him, Steve surely didn't expect him to be outgoing and social like he once was.

He glanced at Bucky's disoriented face as they stopped in the middle of the living room, and couldn't help but feel a wave of sadness overcome him.

"You like it?" he asked tentatively.

"Huh? Uh..." Bucky snapped out of his trance and looked at Steve again "Yeah... seems nice. I'll get used to it I guess..."

"Let me show me your room."

Steve turned and stepped towards a corridor, and Bucky followed suit like a puppy.

There were four bedrooms on Steve's floor. It was too much for only one person, so he had turned one of them into his art studio. He was more than happy that one of the other two empty rooms could be used now.

Steve opened a tall, wooden door and they stepped in, Bucky looking carefully around and absorbing the coziness of his new room, Steve looking adoringly at Bucky, letting himself notice how beautiful he actually was- shit not now Rogers.

"So...?" he quietly spoke, a little bit nervous and hesitant as he was hoping to be rated as a good interior designer, after all.

"It's very... nice. Feels comfy. And... homey..." Bucky said, and in his voice there was nothing but sincerity and fondness. Steve noticed how he seemed to relax, his shoulders leaving a little bit of the tension pulling at them.

"I decorated it." he said proudly, then, not to sound like he was bragging he added "I remember your room back from the 40s, so I tried to make this one as close. Wanna make you feel at home." he admitted shyly.

Bucky was on the verge of tears, and he rushed to pull Steve into a tight embrace.

"Thank you, thank you Steve." Steve's heart melted and clenched in his chest, as he held onto Bucky and ran a hand through his hair "I love it, thank you so much Steve. I love it..."

Perhaps he wanted to say 'I love you' too. It was there, on the tip of his tongue.

It has been since summer 1935.

❉ ❉ ❉

For Bucky, having nightmares and flashbacks wasn't much of a problem anymore. In Wakanda, after four months in the freezer, he had spent another two months living in a small hut surrounded by nature and goats (not telling Steve about it obviously), and it had helped him ease his mind a lot. Shuri's work had also been very useful, removing the Winter Soldier and a big part of his memories with him.

Bucky's biggest concern were the memories of his life as Bucky, before the war, before Hydra.

He really tried to remember as much as he could, but all he got were short flashbacks or even nothing more than feelings. Sometimes he wasn't sure if a memory had really happened or if it was just a dream.

So he had realised that he needed help. And the only way to remember his past life was going back to Steve.

Perhaps Steve was the only thing he really remembered. They have always been together back then, so it was safe to say that all his memories had Steve in them.

Steve and Bucky's hopeless, undying love for him.

Much to his expectations, Bucky started remembering more and more about his past life once he moved back to New York.

Him and Steve would often sit together and talk, recalling things they did and said, remembering particular episodes that only the two of them knew about.

Steve had a lot of old photos too, and sometimes, just looking at one of them would trigger a hidden memory in Bucky's mind, like that time they went fishing down the river and caught a duck instead of a fish, or the day that Bucky accidentally tripped and knocked down half of Steve's bottles of paint, and Steve almost killed him.

He was slowly piecing himself back together, every day more and more.

That didn't mean everything was fine though.

Hydra left a big mark on him- metal arm a big, ugly proof of that- and he would sometimes have bad flashbacks or terrifying nightmares, which led to panic attacks and sleepless nights, his room filled with his silent cries and whimpers as he tried to calm himself down.

He would occasionally grip tight a photo of Steve and hold it close like it was really him he was hugging. Or he would steal one of Steve's shirt and press his nose to it, inhaling the soft, fuzzy scent of the man he was in love with.

Many times Bucky thought about going to Steve's room and snuggle in his bed. But he couldn't.

Not because he thought that Steve wouldn't let him. Not because he was afraid that Steve would judge him for being weak and childish.

But because he was afraid that if he had the chance to get so close to Steve, he wouldn't be able to refrain himself from wanting more, from longing to hold him and kiss him and gaze into his eyes forever.

So he kept quiet as much as he could. Steve didn't deserve to be woken up anyway.

It worked for about a month, until one day, it didn't.

Steve was having troubles sleeping, so he quit tossing in bed in vain and padded out of his room to go to the kitchen.

Only, on his way out, he heard noises coming from Bucky's room.

He held his breath and got closer to the door, and when he realised that said sounds were soft sniffles and sobs, his heart shattered into a million pieces.

"Bucky?" he knocked lightly on the wooden door, but heard no response, only the crying intensifying.

Bucky had been caught like a deer in the headlights, and he just prayed for Steve to go away and spare him the embarrassment.

But Steve Rogers is a stubborn little shit, and Bucky knows that, so the desperation made him sob even louder.

What's the point of being quiet now anyway.

"Bucky are you okay?" Steve insisted, his worry growing second by second, until he couldn't stand there anymore without doing anything.

He opened the door and stepped inside.

Bucky was curled up on his side, gripping the covers close to his body and weeping over them.

"Buck hey, what's wrong?" Steve sat on the edge of the bed, unsure if he should touch Bucky, which he desperately wanted to, or leave him be.

"I-" Bucky sniffled his snot back up, he didn't dare open his eyes and look at Steve, so he kept them tightly shut "I had a b-bad dream-" his last words finished into another sob and his shoulders kept shaking violently.

"Oh Bucky..." Steve moved, he didn't even question it, he lifted the covers and slid underneath them. He wrapped his strong arms around Bucky and pulled him close to his chest, holding him tight.

"It's okay, you're okay..." he softly whispered into Bucky's hair while he clutched to Steve's shirt like it could save him "It was just a dream, you're safe now. It's okay, I'm here shh- it's fine."

"I- I'm s-scared Ste-eve... th-they a-are gon-gonna get m-me- Steve I-I don't w-wanna g-go please..."

Steve's heart clenched in his chest and he could barely make out his words, swallowed by violent sobs and hiccups that left Bucky almost out of breath.

Bucky needed to breathe.

"Shh it's all over now, it wasn't real. Nobody's gonna hurt you, I'll keep you safe. Breathe Bucky, c'mon..." he pressed him even closer so he could feel Steve's steady, rising chest against his own "Breathe with me -in... and out... good that's good, it's okay Buck I'm here."

He soothed his best friend with his soft, reassuring words, one hand stroking his back, and Bucky cried softly into Steve's chest, only now it wasn't because of the nightmares, but because of the excruciating feeling of being in Steve's arms and plastered against his body, the overwhelming sensations running through his nerves like rapids. He couldn't describe the warmth he was finally feeling, the safety and comfort only Steve could provide.

But he knew that this was the only way he could have it. And that just fucking hurt.

He eventually got quiet and fell asleep in Steve's tight embrace, holding onto this moment for as long as he could, before having to go back to normal life the following day.

Only, after that night, nothing felt normal anymore. In fact, it only got worse. For the both of them.

❉ ❉ ❉

Natasha was tired.

Sometimes she wondered if she was in some sort of real life sit-com or dramatic show, because the situation she found herself in was plain ridiculous.

Steve allowed himself to panic for a few days because his gay showed up and came to the surface, and after he came to terms with it, he accepted the fact that he was now pining for his best friend that lived just on the other side of the wall.

He had no fucking idea what to do, because 1) he really wanted to be with Bucky but 2) being with Bucky would require coming out, first to the Avengers and then to the whole world. There were a thousand things that could put their relationship at risk, maybe their life too.

Wait- he really had to stop daydreaming. There could be no relationship.

One thing that drove Natasha mad was this: Steve was 175% convinced that Bucky didn't like him back and didn't even think about him romantically.

She tried so much, telling him that he should give Bucky a sign, drop some not-so-subtle hints, ya know... ask him out or something- flirt even, but Steve Rogers is like, really really bad at flirting.

"Nat stop. I'm not gonna make a fool of myself and scare him away, okay?"

"But why don't you think about the possibility of him liking you back Steve? You don't even try!"

"We've been through this Nat. He's straight c'mon! We grew up in the 40s, the mentality was different back then, he's not like that..."

"Well you are, which means he can be too."

"He doesn't like me back in a romantic way... I don't want to lose what he have already okay? Drop it. I'll get over it sooner or later..."

The conversations went this way pretty much every time.

She would have told him straight away that Bucky liked him, (correction: loved him) back and that there was no doubt about it.

The things is, she couldn't. Why?

Simple: Bucky said no.

And the reason he didn't want her to tell Steve was pretty much the same.

Bucky was much easier than Steve to deal with though, probably because he had known about his feelings for almost a century and had learned how to accept them and keep them at bay.

He didn't complain much like Steve did, but he would freak out now and then, be it for seeing Steve with just a towel around his waist, or for receiving a divine, unexpected hug from his best friend out of the blue.

But that didn't make the situation easier.

Things is, Bucky and Steve were both huge, oblivious idiots acting like lovesick teenagers.

She could say that- she noticed how Bucky stole every magazine with Steve on it (possibly shirtless); she saw, accidentally, Steve's sketchbook, filled with drawings of Bucky and little hearts and 'I love u's in every corner.

She took a picture that day.

Anyway, everyone in the Tower could see that the two were head over heels for each other.

The way they would stare at the other when they couldn't notice; the way Steve would take every opportunity to touch Bucky, even if for just a second; he would constantly worry if Bucky was okay, if he was comfortable, asking him 'everything alright?' or 'how are you feeling?' very frequently, and if Bucky didn't feel good, he would take him to their floor and calm him down. Steve would also make sure to make Bucky's favourite food, and buy him loads of books every week, since he discovered how much he liked reading. He made sure they always had enough chocolate milk for Bucky's sweet tooth.

Bucky would always be around Steve, attached to him like a barnacle, sitting next to him or walking by his side, always keeping casual contact between their bodies. It made him feel safe. The worry seeping through Bucky's eyes and body every time Steve was on a mission was almost moving- he would ask Jarvis every half an hour if there were any news, hopefully good ones. He would bite his nails and bob his leg nervously; he would call Steve at least twice a day; he would rush to the quinjet as soon as it landed to check if Steve was okay. He would always make Steve's favourite blueberry pancakes and steal his oversized hoodies.

And yet, both of them were either so oblivious to notice all of that, or they were huge cowards to make a move.

Natasha was tired.

❉ ❉ ❉

Now now, talking about carrying emotional baggage and broken Tasmania dreams, Natasha was sitting on her burgundy leather couch sipping her third Piña Colada and listening to the never ending rambling and whining of James Buchanan Barnes and his Broken Heart™.

This time it was about the coffee shop girl that they met on their morning run. She was openly flirting with Steve, and there went Bucky's jealousy.

"Can you believe it?! He even complimented her hair! Her goddamn hair Tash! What the hell it looked like a pigeon's nest!"

Natasha chocked on her drink as she burst into laughter "God Barnes you're unbelievable!"

"Shut up! I wanted to splash my coffee on her ugly face! Ugh! And Steve?! He was even flirting back!"

"Bucky I'm pretty sure he was just being nice."

That was the truth obviously, but not to Bucky's eyes.

"Yeah, being nice my ass..." he scoffed and took the drink from Natasha's hand, taking a sip and ignoring her offended look "If I didn't take him out of there they would have probably fucked right on the spot!"

"Jesus stop it Bucky and tell him how you feel, for fuck's sake!"

"Ha no! After today it's even a bigger no, I don't stand a chance."

"Look I'm gonna tell him sooner or later, and his dick is gonna do a happy dance and come to you and sweep you off your feet... take your hand and kiss you under the moonlight or something..."

His eyes widened alarmingly and he slapped her arm lightly.

"You're not gonna tell anyone shit! And he would probably come and sweep me off my feet and yeet me out of the window."

"What the hell is yeet?" Natasha asked with a confused expression.

"You're such a boring fart Tash. I have to teach you Vine culture."

Shuri apparently taught Bucky this Vine culture, whatever it was, and Bucky kept making references that only Clint and Peter understood. Natasha didn't want to know anything about it.

She rolled her eyes and sighed "I have to teach you how to grow a pair and ask your crush out Bucky, you don't have all the time of this world."

"He's gonna dump me!" he whined pathetically and threw his head back over the couch headrest.

"He's not! He likes you and I know it! And Natasha is always right!"

"God I wish I could believe you..." he whispered helplessly.

❉ ❉ ❉

Steve jumped and almost fell off the couch at the sound of someone bursting through the living room door, causing it to slam against the wall.

"Jesus, Joseph and Mary, what has gotten into you! Have you ever heard of knocking?"

"Did I scare you old man?" Natasha smirked slyly and plopped onto the couch next to him.

Steve's eyes were still wide and he was clutching his chest as to check if his heart was still beating "I was peacefully reading my book and you just jump in trying to give me a stroke?!"

"Mh, thought it was too quiet in here..." she replied picking her nails "What are you reading?" she peered over the tablet that Steve was clutching to his chest.

"Nothing..." he hurriedly closed whatever apps he had opened and set the device down.

"Oh come on tell me! I'm your best friend I'm not gonna judge you!"

"That, we both know ain't true. Anyway, what did you come for?"

She feigned offence and gasped dramatically "Oh my- can't I come to visit the people I love once in a while? Wow Steve wow! I thought-"

"Natasha..." he said annoyed, and she laughed, dropping her dramatic facade.

"Okay okay! So, I came to tell you to pack your bags, you're leaving tomorrow."

"What do you mean I'm leaving tomorrow? Tony's kicking me out?"

"No he's not, you dumblug!" she swatted his left pec "You're going on vacation!"

"Vacation?" he said suspiciously, arching a brow at her and rubbing his muscle as if it was sacred.

"Yeah...? Didn't you say you wanted to take a break and go on a vacation?"

"I did but-"

"Great! There, you're leaving tomorrow, I booked everything for you."

"What? Nat what-"

"Hush! Come on, get ready, you're going to Greece."

"Greece?" he lit up with a smile.

Greece is like Paradise, man.

"Yep!" she stood up and headed towards the door "Oh and tell Bucky to pack, he's going too!" she winked before disappearing.

Steve stared at the door for a full minute, a blank expression on his face.

He was going to Greece.

With Bucky.

"Oh my God..." he groaned and leaned back onto the couch, covering his face with his hands.

He knew it. Natasha did it on purpose.

It wasn't the first time she tried to somehow set them up, or create very awkward and embarrassing situations hoping to trigger something between them.

Ya know, light the match, start a fire.

But this. This was too much.

The idea of being alone with Bucky on the opposite side of the world made a storm of butterflies crash against the walls of his stomach.

Crap.

He was beyond scared. He just wanted to be swallowed by the couch he was laying upon and never be found again, molding perfectly with the dust and the microscopic creatures that live inside couches.

The door opened again, only this time in a civil way, without actually risking to be yanked off.

It was Bucky. All cute and fuzzy coming back from God knows where, holding a small shopping bag in his left hand.

He was wearing a white t-shirt and black shorts, with a pair of sneakers and his hair held loosely in a low ponytail.

His beautiful, brunette hair, that now reached the middle of his back, pretty and fluffy strands curling slightly at the tips.

'How can he be so effortlessly magnificent?' thought Steve while he admired his friend from his spot.

"Hey Buck, where ya been?"

"I went to town. I may have stopped for a brief shopping..." he said sheepishly, glancing at the floor before setting his bag on the kitchen counter.

"What'd ya buy?" Steve tilted his head back so he could see the kitchen behind, admiring Bucky's compact bum as he bent down to explore the depths of their fridge.

He took his carton of chocolate milk, obviously, and took a long drink out of it.

Steve waited patiently for a response, the silence becoming very long and unbearable, but he understood. Sometimes Bucky would get like this and refuse to talk and make conversation.

He turned his head back into a normal position and grabbed his tablet, trying to distract himself from the dull ache in his chest that seemed to awaken anytime Bucky ignored him.

He pretended like tiramisù recipes were somehow interesting, but his mind didn't really grasp onto anything he was reading.

Tiramisù with peaches seemed a thing to try though.

"I um... I stopped by this lil shop..." Bucky's voice greeted his ears like it was one of Beethoven symphonies.

Screw that. Beethoven couldn't compare to the sound of Bucky's voice.

He set his device aside and looked at Bucky with a curious smile, urging him to go on.

"Tasha said it helped her... she said I should try too um... that maybe it would do me some good, so I went to this shop where they sell all this stuff for um..." he scratched the back of his neck while a blush creeped upon his cheeks.

"For what?" Steve urged him gently. He could sense that Bucky was embarrassed about it, but he wasn't going to laugh at him or something.

Steve always supports Bucky. Periodt.

"It's... it's a little knittery thingy...? Tash said knitting helps with anxiety and stuff and it works like therapy... I- I thought about giving it a try ya know? The lady at the shop even taught me the first steps! So I'm- I'm... I know it's probably ridiculous- oh God it's stupid isn't it? I'm gonna look like a granny. It's- I shouldn't have right? I'm gonna look like an idiot right? I knew I shouldn't-"

"Buck." Steve stood up and closed the distance between them, stopping in front of Bucky and putting his hands onto his shoulders "I think it's great." he said with sincerity, smiling softly.

"Y-yeah?"

"Of course. It's not ridiculous, at all. And if it helps you it's even better. I think it's cute."

A blush covered Bucky's cheekbones and he smiled timidly "Cute?"

"Yeah..." Steve chuckled nervously, rubbing his thumbs over Bucky's shoulders "But I want to be the first one you knit something to." he winked and left for the kitchen, filling himself a glass of water.

He heard Bucky's angelic laugh from behind "You're probably gonna be the only one I knit things to anyway..."

Steve got flustered and blushed, a small chuckle escaping his throat.

He turned around, facing Bucky again, who was playing anxiously with the hem of his t-shirt.

"Seriously though, you don't have to be embarrassed, it's a great idea."

Bucky smiled, because God why was Steve Rogers such a perfect human being, and stepped forward, opening his arms and bringing Steve in for a hug.

He rested his face on his broad shoulder and closed his eyes, content and warm inside.

Screw Steve Rogers for having the habit of petting Bucky's hair whenever they hugged, it was driving him crazy, but Bucky wouldn't trade it for anything.

"Thanks Stevie... you're the best."

They probably shared a hug that was too long for normal friends, but platonic hugs can be very long too, just so you know.

"Buck?"

"Hmh?"

"Do you like Greece?"

❉ ❉ ❉

"Ouch!" Bucky yelped for the fifteenth time since they boarded on their private jet, sucking on his finger in an attempt to soothe the pain.

"Those big needles are gonna kill you one of these days Buck."

Bucky was so cute with that angry pout on his face, his ring finger still in his mouth, giving Rogers a quite big trouble as his rosy lips circled the digit.

"Shut up, you should try and see how hard this is..." he returned his attention to the undefined thing he was knitting.

"You're pretty good at it though..." Steve noted, and he was right.

At the beginning it was a little messy, but with time the 'thing' got better and better. There weren't many deformed bumps anymore, and it looked pretty good. Bucky was still using only one colour, he chose a very pretty mauve for his first time.

"What's it gonna be?" Steve admired the little frown Bucky always got when he was concentrated and focused, his cheeks a little bit puffed, basically begging to be squished.

"Probably a scarf, the lady said it's the simplest thing."

"Is it for me?" Steve teased with a smirk.

Bucky peeked at him from under his long eyelashes and blushed, before replying with a timid smile "Y-yeah..."

"Aw thank you, that's adorable!" Steve said, trying one of Natasha's advices.

Bucky just blushed harder and hid his face behind his creation, but Steve caught his smiling, red face anyway, feeling a wave of pride take over him.

After a few minutes of silence, Bucky held the scarf up in front of him and admired it with a bright smile. He was so proud.

"It's pretty isn't it?"

He looked at Steve with his glowing eyes, and Steve swore he was in heaven. Seeing Bucky smile was the only thing he wanted to keep doing till the end of his days.

He took a shaky breath and offered his softest grin "Y-yeah... it's very pretty..."

His voice had gone weak and breathy, the happy look on Bucky's face making his heart grow three sizes. He wanted to hold him and kiss him so, so bad in that moment, squeeze him in his arms and cuddle him forever.

Bucky was the epitome of a soft, sweet teddy bear. Everyone always wanted to hug him and squish him. His giggle could light up an entire room, changing the mood from sour to idyllic in an instant.

Sometimes it was hard to think that a person like Bucky was once a cold-hearted assassin, one who endured decades of torture and pain and was still struggling with anxiety and panic attacks, as well as depressive and suicidal thoughts.

Bucky was so strong. He had always been, and Steve had looked up to him everyday since day one.

Bucky was his hero.

"Mr Barnes, Mr Rogers, the plane is about to land, please buckle your belts. We hope you had a good flight."

"Thank you, it was great." Steve replied for the both of them.

He flashed Bucky an excited smile. This was their first vacation together and anything could happen.

The thought crossed Bucky's mind, his heart rate picked and a flash of excitement and nervousness sparkled through his body.

He gulped loudly and moved his eyes from Steve's to the view outside the window, taking in the endless expanse of blue stretching beyond the horizon.

Little did he know what this vacation had in store for him.

❉ ❉ ❉

"Seriously? Room 107? Natasha did this on purpose right?" Bucky scoffed at the sight of the number on the hotel door they were facing.

"You know her..." Steve chuckled as he fished with the key card before picking up his suitcase and opening the door "I bet this is only the first one of her jokes."

They entered the hotel room, gawking at the luxurious, huge space, the expensive furniture, the panorama windows offering a view of Santorini and the sea from above, the bed.

The one bed in the room.

Queen size, but it was one bed.

"Steve I thought this was a double room...?"

Bucky tried to keep his calm on the outside, when in fact he was about to faint.

Of fucking course Natasha booked a room with one bed. They should have known, should have checked instead of trusting her blindly with this entire vacation.

"I um... I guess it's not?" Steve was beginning to panic because, oh lord Bucky wanted his own bed and he wouldn't be okay with sleeping with Steve. They will have to cancel, God no. Just because of Natasha and her fucking jokes.

"I'm gonna check with the receptionist if there was a mistake... if you want? I-I mean I don't really mind- but if you don't want to we can cancel and book another place-"

"God Steve no!" Bucky blurted, perhaps too excitedly "I-I mean since we're already here right? And we used to share the bed back then so it's not something new... I mean- what I'm saying is I don't mind..."

"You sure?"

"Yeah..." Bucky walked further into the chamber and plopped down on the giant, fluffy mattress "Oh my God this is so soft Steve!"

He began bouncing up and down like and excited kid, giggling and laughing.

Steve's shoulders sagged in relief and he smiled at the sight, his Bucky getting excited just like that, rolling and bouncing on a soft bed.

His heart swelled with love and his smile spread so wide his cheeks started hurting. But he didn't mind. This was the happiest he's ever been, even if he couldn't be with Bucky like he wanted to, he was the happiest man alive.

It's mesmerising, how just another person's smile is what it takes to light up your entire world, and make you forget about everything, about all the problems and the burdens, and instead feel alive, free and fulfilled with love and happiness.

This was Steve's happy place.

Wherever Bucky was. Smiling or not, but it was definitely better with him smiling.

He dropped his bags and rushed to the bed, joining his best friend and his fits of bubbly giggles.

He reached over and started tickling Bucky's sides, making him squirm and laugh impossibly harder.

"Steve! S-stop ahaha Steeve! No Steve stop it you jerk!"

"Not until I hear the magic word you punk!" he kept tickling Bucky's ribs and stomach, as he unconsciously got on top of him to pin him down.

"PLEASE! Please ahaha please stop! I'm begging- no more! Please!"

Steve stopped his torture and dropped his head on Bucky's heaving chest and chuckled along with his friend.

His gaze went up to meet Bucky's eyes, and he was suddenly aware that yes, he was straddling Bucky and their faces were dangerously close.

Bucky looked absolutely stunning like that, panting and flushed on the bed, his dark chocolate locks spread on the mattress and framing his beautiful face, enhancing his unique, angelic features like the piece of art they were.

He watched as Bucky's cheeks reddened and his breath hitched.

They stared into each other's eyes, both unable to break the contact and look away.

Bucky's belly has never been tortured by butterflies this much, his heart was racing like crazy in his chest, and he felt like he could explode at any time, his soul leave his body and fly away, his heart burst out and land directly into Steve's hands.

His eyes involuntarily shifted to Steve's red, shiny lips, before coming back to the deep blue of his orbs, and he swore that for a moment it was really happening.

He felt Steve inching closer til their noses almost touched, he could feel Steve's breath mixing with his own.

He wanted to cry because it was really happening, like this, out of the blue, Steve was about to kiss him and all his dreams were going to come true.

It was really happening.

He took a shaky breath and noticed Steve do the same, and he licked his lips.

Steve's gaze immediately shifted to them, hungrily watching the pink tip of his tongue dart over the plump lips. He couldn't keep his eyes away, and he knew what he wanted to do in that moment.

He didn't even think about anything else, those lips were so entrancing, like magnets that attracted his own touch, he felt drawn to them.

Bucky was blushing all the way to his chest, it rising anxiously with quick breaths.

He closed his eyes.

This was the moment. It was finally happening, and maybe it was just another dream, but he didn't care anymore. If he had a chance to experience this, he was gonna take it.

He felt Steve move closer and closer, his heart beating so fast he was afraid it would stop, anticipating the magical moment that was about to come.

Steve Rogers was about to kiss him, right there, unexpectedly, without any warning. He was about to take Bucky's breath away and gift him with a mind-blowing kiss, just for him, just because of him-

Steve almost jumped off the bed when a loud ringtone echoed in the room, flinching with wide eyes as he frantically fished inside his pocket to grab the ringing device.

Bucky cleared his throat and sat up, blushing and feeling jittery, annoyed nonetheless by the entire situation.

Steve paced across the room til he reached the window, not daring to look at Bucky at all, he cleared his voice and took a shaky breath before replying.

"Um- hello?"

"Hey American Idol, how's the honeymoon goin'?" Natasha's cheerful and teasing tone made him awfully cringe for a moment.

He honestly didn't know what to tell her. He was mad. Mad at her jokes and teasing about this whole situation, but then again, Bucky seemed to return his feelings right?

But maybe he was wrong about it all. It was him that was on top of Bucky in the first place, and he initiated everything, so Bucky couldn't really do anything about it...

But he could and didn't, and Steve's intentions were clear as the sun, and he didn't seem to reject them and throw him back.

He looked like he wanted it too.

Maybe Natasha was right.

"Very well, thanks for asking." he replied sternly, looking out at the beautiful expanse of blue.

"Yeah? Do you like your bedroom?" she asked with a knowing tone.

"We're gonna talk about this..."

She laughed loudly for a few seconds before she replied "Oh I know we are... anyway, did you go on the boat trip?"

"What boat trip?"

Out of the corner of his eye he could see Bucky lift his head in curiosity and look at him from the bed where he was still sitting.

"I booked a boat trip for you two at like... now?"

"Oh... really?" Steve's eyes furrowed in confusion.

He heard Natasha sigh deeply in annoyance "Seriously Steve? Did you even check your emails? I told you I'd send you a small schedule with all the activities I booked for you!"

"Oh... oh well I didn't check... yet."

"Well you'd better. Now go on that boat! You're already late. Have fun lovebirds!"

She hung up just like that, leaving Steve looking at the phone with an annoyed expression.

He sighed deeply and put his phone back in his pocket, before turning to a somber looking Bucky.

"Who was it?"

"Natasha..." he looked at the ground and felt his cheeks heat up, the situation was very awkward and embarrassing, and he almost wanted to forget what was about to happen just mere minutes ago. Almost.

"C'mon we have a boat waiting for us." he finally said, heading towards the door.

He stopped at the entrance, looking back at Bucky still sitting on the bed, staring down with a frown and biting his lip.

Truth is, he expected Steve to do or say something about what they were just about to do.

He prayed that Steve didn't ignore it and pretend like it didn't happen, and yet, that's what exactly happened.

"Bucky?"

"I'm coming..." he said quietly, a lump in his throat making it hard for him to speak, and he got up on his feet, following Steve out of the room.

He swallowed the tight knot back, burying his emotions deep inside one more time and putting a tender smile on, making it easily seem like he was enjoying himself.

The questions were bombarding his mind, making him doubt everything and anything.

He kept quiet all the way to the small dock, and so did Steve.

He couldn't help but be mesmerized by the clear, cristal blue of the water though, making it effortless to see all the tiny rocks and shells on the bottom, along with the colourful little fish squirting in every direction.

"Wow Steve look at that one!" he pointed his index finger at a rosy fish that was swimming around the boat.

He looked up at Steve excitedly, and was relieved to find the same expression on his face.

"They're so pretty Buck! I've never seen fish like these!"

They both crouched over the edge of the platform, staring at the rippling water just beneath.

"It's so beautiful..." Bucky spoke, and there it was again, that expression on his face that he wore whenever he was excited about something, just like a little kid.

The light in his eyes was shining so bright. It was the same light that used to be there in the 40s. The same light of the old, true Bucky Barnes, and Steve was drawn to it. To him.

All of him.

He couldn't help but stare at him, stare at the brightest smile that he had ever seen, and take that happiness in like it was his life line.

And in a certain way, it was.

"You're beautiful..." he whispered so quietly it was almost inaudible, but Bucky heard. He fucking heard it and it felt like fireworks in his belly.

Bucky looked up at him, but Steve didn't break his gaze. He blushed profusely and once again, that hope started rising inside him.

The way Steve was looking at him was indeed very clear, and it was not a way friends look at each other.

They held eye contact, and it felt undeniably good, it felt like home and... love.

Those eyes made Bucky melt to the core.

Bucky tore his eyes away from his friend when a tall, tanned skin man appeared behind Steve, approaching them with quick steps.

It was the boatman. Or whatever he is called, thought Bucky.

The man, whose name was Darius and appeared to be in his late forties, greeted them with an exotic hospitality and cheerfulness.

He welcomed them on his little blue and white boat, before starting the engine and floating away from the shore.

They quickly reached the open sea, and Steve and Bucky couldn't help but gape at the paradisiac sight around them.

The water was so blue and clear, the sunlight making the tiny crests shine and sparkle.

They were sitting close, side by side on the front of the boat, and they couldn't get enough of the beautiful landscape surrounding them.

Bucky kept pointing at little things that caught his attention, be it a weird fish racing through the corals, or a seagull nosediving into the water, offering a show for the two of them.

They were so carefree, laughing and smiling at anything, their skin kissed by the warm sun and caressed by the chilly breeze.

Steve's arm somehow ended around Bucky's waist, pulling him closer to his side, and Bucky didn't protest. He didn't try to get away from it.

He felt a newfound rush of warmth spread through him, and when he peeked at Steve from under his eyelashes, he found a bright, sweet smile on the other's face. He still couldn't believe if it was real, if Steve was really holding him that way, if he was really about to kiss him before.

He couldn't believe that maybe Natasha was right about Steve liking him back.

After about twenty minutes of idyllic floating through the waves, the little boat reached a small constellation of green, uncontaminated islands.

Darius narrated all the fascinating, mythological history that was imprinted in these spots of land in the middle of the Aegean sea, and they took it all in with interest and curiosity, happy to learn new things about this little piece of paradise hidden somewhere in Europe.

"Hey you wanna go for a swim?" Steve asked with a smirk on his face as he looked at Bucky.

They had reached a bigger island that appeared to have a beautiful shore. Steve wanted to dive into that water so bad, and explore the corals on the riff, swim with the small banks of rainbow fish, pick up candid shells and fix them on Bucky's pretty hair.

The evening was nearing and on the horizon the sun was getting low, beginning to paint the sky with warm, pink colours.

Bucky stared into Steve's eyes for a moment, before letting a smile creep on his face and nodding excitedly.

They jumped together in the steel blue water, before coming back to the surface and splashing each other, bursting into fits of laughter and giggles.

Steve's heart couldn't help but skip a beat when he saw Bucky's contagious smile reach up to the crinkle of his silver eyes, his long hair a shade darker now that it was wet, the locks curling around his beautiful face, enhancing his sharp jawline, his high cheekbones, his red lips.

Bucky's heart couldn't help but skip a beat when Steve's golden strands shined with the tiny droplets of water, his pale skin now flushed from the warm sun, the bulgy, hard muscles of his toned chest and abdomen flexing at the smallest movement, reflecting the sun rays and making Steve look like a Greek God.

Suddenly Steve reached forward and picked Bucky up in his arms from behind, earning a yelp from him before he dropped him in the water.

Bucky resurfaced with a shocked, betrayed look, but he couldn't help but laugh as he chased Steve around in the water.

"I'm gonna catch ya Stevie!"

"You can try!" Steve replied chuckling, easily twirling around and escaping Bucky's grip.

Somehow Bucky managed to tackle him, but before he could do anything about it, Steve pulled them both underwater and escaped Bucky's hold, swimming away from him.

Bucky, not having caught a big breath, had to come up to the surface for oxygen almost immediately.

His giggles died gradually as he saw no Steve around him, leaving his panting as the only sound to be heard.

He twirled around several times hoping to find Steve, to catch a glimpse of him, but the water was calm and there were no revealing sounds or movements.

A minute passed and an edge of panic began to claw at his chest, his breaths became quick and anxious and his senses sharpened trying to detect any sign of Steve around. He really hoped this was just a game.

He yelped as a pair of strong arms suddenly circled his middle "Peekaboo!" Steve chuckled from behind, tightening his grip around him and pressing his face into Bucky's hair.

"Steve! You scared me you idiot!" he turned around in Steve's arms and slightly slapped his chest, a blush forming on his cheeks as he took in the fact that he was wrapped by those huge muscles.

"Oh did I?" Steve smirked down at him as he caressed his waist gently, their legs tangling under the water.

"Don't disappear on me like that again, okay?" Bucky mumbled and pressed his forehead to Steve chest, wrapping his arms around his torso.

"I won't, I'm sorry... I'm never gonna leave you, okay?" Steve reassured him softly, rubbing his back gently with his hand.

Bucky nodded mutely and kept his head hidden by a curtain of his wet hair, wanting to hide his blushing face.

"C'mon let's get out."

As Steve pulled away to swim back Bucky felt a bit colder, missing the warmth and safety of his arms, but soon enough he felt Steve's hand linking with his own, causing him to pull him with him.

He smiled to himself and followed suit without protesting. They swam holding hands until they reached the shore made of tiny, white pebbles and shells.

As they stepped on the ground, he felt Steve pull him down with him, and he couldn't help but let out a squeal as he suddenly found himself laying on top of Steve's chest, their faces mere inches away.

He found himself staring at Steve, bracing on his arms and straddling his thighs, their chests pressed against one another.

They got lost in each other's eyes again, blue staring into silver, their breaths hitching and shaking.

That feeling came back, that same feeling of anticipation that they felt in their bedroom before.

They didn't need any words anymore, for their eyes spoke everything they needed to know. They didn't need to doubt it, they didn't need to hide their feelings anymore, they didn't want to, because now it just felt so right.

It felt so right, like pieces of a puzzle slowly beginning to fit together.

Steve's heart was about to beat out of his chest, racing like crazy, matching the rhythm of Bucky's own.

The feeling of Bucky's hot, wet body laying flush against his own, knowing that he could hold him tight and never let him go.

His hand slowly traced Bucky's cheek, brushing some curls and placing them behind his ear, before going back to stroking the soft, smooth skin.

He couldn't tear his eyes away from Bucky's innocent ones, from the beautiful outline of his nose, the clean shaven skin and his shiny, plump lips.

Bucky couldn't see anything but Steve. He forgot about everything, about where he was and when, the only reality he could take in was the solid warmth of Steve's body underneath him, the gentle caresses he was leaving on his face.

He stared at those blue eyes, at the tiny freckles scattered over his skin, at that small bump on his nose that he knew how to picture by heart. They were all the same, the same eyes and freckles and nose that he grew up looking at, that he admired every time Steve was sick, that he saw when Steve saved him, that he said goodbye to when he began to fall.

Suddenly his breath stopped as he felt Steve's lips against his own.

It took him a moment to let his eyelids drop shut and kiss back, their lips finally meeting, locking and dancing together, and he completely melted, turning to putty in Steve's hold.

Steve draped one strong arm around Bucky's back, pulling closer, while the other ended up in his long, wavy hair, his fingers combing and stroking through the soft locks ever so gently.

Bucky swore that his heart had stopped beating by how fast it was pulsating, the overwhelming feeling in his stomach making him scrunch his eyebrows by the intensity of the emotions.

He felt sparkles all through his body. Microscopic pieces of cristal exploding and colliding against each other. He couldn't feel his body anymore, for now it was only his heart and soul, pouring out of him and giving them to Steve, giving him all his love, all his life. All of him.

His hands snaked from Steve's chest to his damp hair, finding their place there, and tugging ever so slightly at the short locks, as to make sure that this was real, that Steve was real.

When they pulled away to take a breath, Bucky was afraid of opening his eyes. He feared that this was just another one of his dreams and fantasies, that it would all disappear once he came back to reality.

But Steve's touch felt so real, oh it felt so real and warm. His hand stroking slowly through his hair as he waited for Bucky to open his eyes, looking at him like one looks at a masterpiece.

Bucky's eyes opened slowly, carefully. This time, Steve was still there. He slowly took in his face, his blue eyes, his wide smile.

It was real.

Bucky couldn't help but let out a watery little laugh, incredulous and fulfilled.

He pressed his forehead against Steve's, smiling wide, his breaths shaky and short.

They started into each other's eyes, searching for something, and finding only pure, rare love.

Steve's thumb caressed his jawline, before swiping over his lower lip, red and swollen from just one long kiss. His gaze fell on Bucky's mouth, and he wanted nothing more than to kiss him again. To kiss him forever.

"Can I kiss you again?" he asked quietly, the words only to be heard by Bucky's ears.

Bucky shivered and nodded minutely, blushing like a little girl "Please..."

Bucky felt Steve smiling against his lips, and he couldn't help but do the same.

He licked over Steve's bottom lip, and swiped his tongue past it, desperately asking for entrance. Steve gladly let his tongue join his own in a hot, wet dance. He took control easily, dominating over Bucky and earning a small whimper from him.

He pulled away first, smirking at the sight of Bucky blindly chasing his lips, wanting more.

He gave him one last peck on the lips, before trailing kisses over his cheeks, nose and jawline.

Bucky gave in completely, resting his forehead on Steve's shoulder, his head spinning from the feeling of being ravished by Steve, of being showered in kisses and nibbles that made his breath stop.

"Baby..." Steve murmured against his ear, kissing that one too, and making Bucky's breath hitch audibly.

The way Steve's voice sounded while he pronounced that nickname, Bucky realised he wanted to hear it everyday for the rest of his life.

"I'm a little... uncomfortable... like this... you know?" Steve said between kisses, even though he wanted nothing more than to have Bucky on top of him like this, but the little rocks were poking his back painfully.

Bucky emitted a giggle, God that sound went straight to Steve's head, and he sat up, letting Steve lift his body from the shore.

"Sorry..." he smiled innocently as he crawled off of him, already missing his body warmth.

Steve sat up and made a space for Bucky between his legs, opening his arms invitingly for him "C'mere..." he said, looking at Bucky with pure love and admiration.

Bucky didn't hesitate to sit down on the ground, leaning back against Steve's strong chest.

He felt Steve's arms snake and lock over his middle, pulling him impossibly closer. He melted into the warm embrace, turning his head to the side to seal their lips with a another breathtaking kiss, before pulling back and looking at the sunset, colouring the sky and the sea with beautiful oranges and yellows.

They spent long, quiet minutes like that, Bucky safe in Steve's arms, feeling a kiss to his temple or neck every now and then.

Bucky's mind was racing. It still felt so unreal, like some magic fairytale he ended up in after one of his goodnight wishes.

They didn't need any words, but he wanted to tell Steve that he loved him. He wanted him to know that he had felt this same way about him since they were teenagers, that Steve was the only one for him, and will always be.

But maybe Steve didn't love him as much as he did, and God maybe it was too early to say it now, but he couldn't wait anymore.

"You said that you would never leave me Steve..." he broke the peaceful silence and felt Steve's eyes on him.

"I did say that yes..." Steve gave him a sweet kiss on the cheek, making Bucky blush and smile timidly "I'm never gonna leave you Buck."

After a few seconds of silence, Bucky turned his head to look into Steve's eyes and found the courage to say those words.

"Then what would you do if I told you that I love you?"

Steve's searching eyes never left his, a brief moment of shock flashing through them before he smiled and tightened his arms around Bucky's waist.

"I would say 'I love you too'."

❉ ❉ ❉

Later that night, Steve didn't forget to remind him of those words, between kisses and silent promises, as they got lost in each other, filling the room with sweet moans and hot breaths, their bodies glistened with sweat and connected with a newfound bond.

He softly brushed away Bucky's happy tears as he watched him fall apart beneath him, as he filled him with his love. That love that Bucky needed since he was just a teenager.

That love that he thought he would never have, that he didn't feel worthy of anymore.

As they lay tangled in each other's arms, Bucky held tight onto Steve's chest, listening to his lulling heartbeat and drowning in his warmth, he felt his tired eyelids slowly dropping shut, content and warm inside.

"Buck?" Steve broke the peaceful silence as he stroked one hand through Bucky's hair.

"Hmh?"

"What would you do if I asked you to be my boyfriend?"

Bucky was probably too tired to even think properly, but he managed to whisper "I would say yes" as a sleepy smile formed on his face.

"I love you..." Steve whispered as he tightened his hold on him and placed a sweet kiss to his hair, smiling to himself as he received a small, sleepy hum in response.

He was the happiest man alive.

❉ ❉ ❉

Natasha never felt so proud as she did now, watching those same two idiots recite their vows to each other one year later, standing barefoot on that same shore where it all started.

That same shore where they shared their first kiss and professed their love for the first time, became once more a sacred place for them, as they exchanged rings and sealed promises, the warm sunset a gift to the beautiful evening of their wedding.

It was a new start for them, but for Natasha, it was her finish line. The finish line of her hard race to get them to be together, but in the end, all the difficulties were worth it.

She could finally watch her two happy idiots seal a new, stronger bond between them, ready to face the future as lovers, soulmates, husbands.

And if she let more than a few tears roll down her cheeks that day, she certainly didn't care if anyone noticed, because the Rogers-Barnes were now a real thing, right in front of her eyes.

Her ship has sailed.