Chapter Text
"Hello, Sonic."
To Sonic's credit, he didn't immediately go into a defensive position upon seeing someone who has assaulted him more than once on his doorstep.
To his discredit, he immediately went into a defensive position upon seeing someone who has assaulted him more than once wearing an aloha shirt.
"Ok, Shadow, you have three seconds to explain why you're wearing something with a flower on it before I assume you've been brainwashed."
The black hedgehog in front of him tch'd, a sign that at least one of his most basic character traits made it through the mind-cleansing process.
"Fool, the ultimate lifeform cannot be brainwashed, although I will admit I have been recently missled more than I am proud to say. I'm here to deliver a message."
A message? Shadow T. Hedgehog, self-proclaimed Ultimate Lifeform, shows up on his doorstep at 4:00 PM on a Saturday afternoon in a red floral button-down to deliver a message?
"Must be a helluva message."
Shadow inhaled dramatically, theatrics also intact.
"I'm so damn tired, Sonic."
Sonic stood still, opened his mouth to respond, and was promptly silenced by a commanding palm.
"Of everything. I've been brooding for years, moving from cave to cave like a fucking nomad. I don't even know why they have to be caves it's just, like, a visceral urge that compels me to find the nearest cave and hunker down like I'm homeless, which I guess I technically am. Not that I look down upon the unfortunate but just the fact that I could feasibly have a place to live but instead decide to start fires with dry wood inside of damp caves is ludicrous. I'm ranting now,"
Another inhale, not out of anything but pure, unabashed exhaustion. He pinched the bridge of his nose.
" ...my point is that I'm tired of being unnecessarily angry all the time just for the sake of juxtaposing your carefree demeanor, and I'd like to be given directions to a recommended apartment complex or anywhere else that can provide semi-permanent residence."
Sonic stood still as the open palm before him was lowered, allowing him to speak freely.
"Hotel, up that way then take two lefts, can't miss it."
Shadow raised an eyebrow in question.
"And this hotel has living conditions suitable for the ultimate lifeform?"
"Sure it does, 's where I told Knuckles to go when I found out he was homeless."
"I thought the red one lived with you."
"He does, it turned out he didn't have any money so I caved and let him stay with me. Anyway, good luck dude."
"Thanks, I suppose. We'll meet again."
"Yeah, yeah, on your terms, I get it."
The hedgehog walked up the street and out of view, leaving Sonic to his thoughts. Closing the door, he sat down on the couch. Shadow's getting his life together, huh? Good for him.
Two knocks at the door brought Sonic off the couch. Shadow again? No, can't be, he'd just sent him off.
It was Shadow again.
"You mentioned something about money?"
A sigh.
"That I did, is there a problem?"
Shadow worried his lower lip between his fangs before opening his mouth to respond, this time though, it was Shadow's turn to be silenced.
"Shadow, please tell me you have money."
"Fool, I just don't have money at the moment. I've had money in the past, and I WILL have money in the future. I have a day job at the Build-It Yourself furniture store."
"You have a day job at Ike- of course you have a day job at Ik- ok, why the hell don't you have money now?"
"You're aware of the local grocer?"
"'Course."
"Well, every time I go to pay for my items, the cashier asks me if I'd like to donate my money to charity. And me, being the ultimate philanthropist that I am, graciously offer as much money as I can spare."
"...Meaning all of it?!"
"Naturally. It's not like I'm doing anything particularly pressing with it."
On one hand, that's unexpectedly nice of Shadow. On the other...
"Shads, that's the sweetest thing I've ever heard, but you're a special kind of stupid."
The black hedgehog's eye twitched irritably in reaction to the jab.
"I will ignore that comment because you have been genuinely helpful to my efforts thus far. Though I now find myself in a predicament. I have no place to stay and no money to provide one for me, I refuse to return to my previous life of cave hopping, but I don't know what else to do."
Shadow's ears drooped and his stoic expression softened almost imperceptibly. His steely gaze turned to the side and wavered, as if trying to focus on some nonexistent object in the distance.
Oh god. Oh no, oh god, ok, he was really doing this, huh?
"Shads, I- oh god, I can't believe I'm about to say this... Shadow do you want to move in with me and Knuckles? Just until you get back up on your feet, and by that I mean actually start saving your money."
Shadow's dip in composure mended itself immediately, as he raised a quizzical eyebrow once again.
"Sonic, I can assure you that as long as I buy food on a bi-weekly basis, which I must do in order to live, I have no interest in changing my donation habits."
"Sonuva- then we just won't have you go out for groceries then. Hell, Knuckles already isn't allowed within 20 feet of the storefront if it isn't a matter of life or death, what's another roommate I have to run errands for?"
A slow grin crept onto the other hedgehog's face, no doubt in amusement at Sonic's thinly veiled distress.
"Your tone implies passive aggression, but I choose to take your offer to heart because it benefits me."
The hedgehog lightly elbowed past Sonic and made his way inside, surveying the area. He was likely already mapping out what he would change if the opportunity to renovate should ever present itself.
"Thank you for allowing me into your home, you might regret this."