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"Sore de wa sa katarimashou…~" sang a tired voice as the audio of the anime opening blasted faintly even with the earbuds, static riddled from the outside. Bopping his head slightly along to the interlude following the first lyrics, Ichiro adjusted his position into something slightly more favorable, settling his phone to a place where he didn't have to hold it with his hand to keep it up straight. A yawn trailed from his mouth, and he gently wiped the tears that came as a result.
It was late outside, the inky black sky was dappled with an array of white dots of various sizes, as well as dark clouds that threatened to cover the ethereal and glimmering moon, but never seemed to do so. To Ichiro's knowledge, his brothers had been in bed lost in their own dreams for a while now, and he was free to binge the night away without any hostile background bickering that the two of them involved themselves in daily.
As soon as the plot of the episode began to form, Ichiro had to pause. He noticed another figure in the room, and looking up, his eyebrows rose. "Saburo? Weren't you supposed to be asleep?"
The younger looked… nervous, seeing as he didn't make eye contact with his older brother, instead choosing to twiddle his fingers and lock his gaze on his feet.
"Um, Ichi-nii… can we… can we talk?"
Ichiro removed his earbuds, setting them aside before sitting up with a whispered groan. A hint of concern sat in those eyes of his as he slowly nodded. Setting his phone aside too, he beckoned Saburo to come sit down next to him, patting the cushion to his right. The younger obeyed, and all throughout his moving he did not make eye contact. In fact, he grew more nervous, and his shoulders began to tremble a little.
Ichiro began wondering. What could Saburo possibly want to talk about? Whatever it may be, he, as a good older sibling, lended an ear and let Saburo speak on.
"Ichi-nii… I don't... I don't think I'm really a boy."
The older's eyes widened slightly, and for the first time Saburo made eye contact with him. He seemed to only grow more scared upon seeing that reaction, because according to him, Ichiro looked confused and ready to yell, which is exactly what the younger had feared.
Nevertheless, he spoke on. Ichiro decided to wrap a kind arm around him, which prompted some comfort in Saburo.
"I… don't think I'm… anything. I've done some thinking, and… I think I'm…"
"I think I'm nonbinary."
Still, Ichiro didn't speak. "Like, I guess I'm more of a male lean, because I'm still fine with he/him, but I just… don't really identify with a "boy" label wholly anymore, you know…?"
Ichiro just looked at the younger with eyes bearing an emotion hard to narrow down. Fear seemed to grow in Saburo more. "You… don't think that's weird, right…? You're not gonna yell at me… right?"
"…?"
"Of course not."
Saburo paused, looking up at his with his eyes glimmering in astonishment. "It's not weird to you?" he repeated in disbelief.
" 'Course not. Ah… I never did tell you I was pan, did I?"
"You're pan??"
Ichiro laughed, patting Saburo's back heartily as the younger put his hands to his head. "You're pan???"
There seemed to be a sense of alleviation in his voice, because the third time around, he didn't say it in the form of an inquiry. Rather, he giggled, and exclaimed it with such relief. "You're pan…!"
Ichiro patted his back once more, notably more gently this time. "Glad you find some comfort in that, even though my crisis isn't gender related…"
"No, Ichi-nii, it means a lot…"
The older smiled warmly, scooting closer to Saburo and wrapping his arm back around him. "It's… not weird, Saburo. I don't think you're weird at all. I'm just proud that you were able to figure out something like this without mine or Jiro's help. You're always so dependent on me… so seeing you finally figure something out for yourself makes me… real happy." he told him, rubbing his back encouragingly. "Were you scared to come out to me? Why?"
"I didn't think you would understand, and you would start yelling at me, and throw me out, like the stories I've heard…"
"You really think I would do that, Saburo? Look, I haven't thrown Jiro out yet for all the wacky shit he's done, I'm not about to throw you out for simply figuring out who you are."
Saburo smiled, looking down at his feet as it grew. He aimed to hide the welling tears, but Ichi-nii sees everything, after all. He tilted the younger's face up, wiping his tears with a toothy grin. "Come on, don't cry!"
"Ehehe… I'm just happy, Ichi-nii… thank you…"
Saburo fell into a hug, holding onto Ichiro's waist like he was going to fall off a cliff into the jagged spires below if he let go. He older rubbed his head affectionately, chuckling, letting him hold on for as long as he please.
"Is there anything else you need to tell me?" he inquired as Saburo sat up, rubbing his eyes.
"Oh, I put soap in Jiro-nii's hat."
That earned him a smack on the back of the head. "Go to bed!" he said, a chuckle following. Saburo obeyed with a snicker, and he trotted off to his room.
He had never been more proud of his little brother than in that moment.
…He should reward him somehow.
***
Saburo had awoken hugging his pillow closely, and it took him around 10 minutes of gazing into and scrolling through his phone, which had been sitting close to his head, before he finally decided to sit up and stretch. Events of last night flooded his brain, turning into serotonin, and a small smile crossed his face as he thought on them longer.
He looked to the table beside his bed, where he noticed something out of place. It was a small, white box wrapped neatly in a bold red ribbon. A gift…?
Saburo scrambled to grab it, examining it closely before removing the ribbon in an incorrect way. Slowly, he lifted off the lid. The item inside…
…was a note, lying under a small pin with the colors of the nonbinary flag.
The kid put a hand up to his mouth as he gasped. He swiftly took out the pin, admiring it through glassy eyes he didn't care to note. Setting it aside for the moment, he took out the note and opened it with slightly trembling hands. In Ichiro's handwriting read a few simple words.
"I'm so proud of you ♡"
~Ichi-nii
Saburo took the pin back in his hands and clutched both of the box's contents close to his chest, rocking slightly as whispered, joyed sobs escaped his mouth.
The validation from his big brother was all he ever needed.