Work Text:
He missed it. Everyday he missed it. Missed the high of having a stadium chanting his name. His heart ached for those moments to come back but they never would. People still recognized him. It shocked him each time but he always offered a bright smile and they did the same in return, warming his heart. He missed his members the most. They were still in contact of course, meeting up regularly but it wasn’t the same.
It had hurt them all when they began to branch off. Namjoon and Yoongi continued to produce music and solo tracks. He was often called in for some vocals but it was never the same seeing the track have ‘ft. Jimin’ on the end of it. Hoseok had become a dance teacher and Jimin occasionally went to help out at the dance school, it never felt right though. Jin had become the actor he was always meant to be. He still sang too on occasion but it almost felt lacking compared to before.
Taehyung… Well he had refused to leave Jimin. Despite his wild spirit he never left. He managed to remain stuck to Jimin while also exploring life, even if that meant carrying Jimin onto a plane to fly halfway around the world with him. He did this because he knew that if he left, Jimin might break.
Jungkook, his sweet, darling Jungkookie. Jimin missed him the most. After they disbanded an instant divide grew between him and the youngest. The others had noticed it and done their best to pull the divide shut and each time it had a temporary remedy effect until the stitched ravine tore open wider than before.
Then as the years went by a woman appeared. Jimin could no longer reach out for Jungkook because the youngest had fallen in love. He had only met her once in the year she had been with the youngest but she seemed almost feeble. She was so small in her presence compared him and his members- ex-members.
However Jungkook was smitten with her so he at least tried to be nice and accepting. She was sweet and had a kind heart, she matched the younger man well, he thought.
And then he proposed. And she accepted. He had offered his congratulations yet Taehyung had held him that night as sobs racked his body.
So here he was, standing before a mirror, tugging on his tie. Despite his many years of wearing them he still struggled to tie them. “Jiminie?” Taehyung walked in to see Jimin throw his hands down in frustration at the length of fabric resting around his neck. “Everything alright?”
He sucked in a breath before attempting to wrestle the fabric into place once more. Right when he was ready to rip the fabric to shreds Taehyung's body pressed to him, arms encircling him to clasp Jimin’s smaller hands in his own large ones. “I’m sorry.” Taehyung doesn’t reply as he grasps the tie and weaves it in a way which looks so simple.
“Shh, it’s alright Jiminie,” Taehyung’s hushed words were like a needle and thread that appeared to stitch one of his loose seams. “Are you sure you want to go today?” Jimins teeth pressed into his lip as he looked back up at the mirror.
Despite the years he still looked the same, maybe a few creases here and there but it was still the same face that had been in images spread worldwide. A little more weight filled his face but it wasnt too apparent. Blonde hair was styled in a side part and the whole look reminded him more of when they went to a music show rather than a wedding.
“I have to go.” Taehyung pulled back a little only to brush his knuckles down the shorter man's cheek.
Emotions flew across the man's face before he finally replied, “You never have to do anything. You could suddenly fall sick with the flu. If you don’t want to go, Jimin, you do not have to.”
It took several moments for Jimin to string together the words and prepare himself to say them, “I have to make sure he is happy Tae… Maybe it’s selfish but I also want to… confirm that this is it. He is out of my reach forever.” He needed that closure of that at the very least. That way he could stop wondering ‘what if.’
Taehyung's arms tightened sharply as he nodded, pulling the smaller man impossibly closer. “It’s not selfish. Not at all. You don’t have a selfish bone in your body.” The brunet announced with a proud look adorning his features at the analogy he had used.
That drew a chuckle out of the blond. “Tae I don’t think that’s-”
“It’s not about what is true or not. It’s that you are not being selfish for wanting this.” Jimin sent a slightly exasperated look to Taehyung through the mirror. The slightly younger man just sent a boxy grin in return. Jimin stiffened when Taehyung's hands clapped down against his shoulders. “Since you have your mind made up we best be going or we will be late to the wedding.”
Jimin hummed softly, taking one more look at himself in the mirror before turning away. He had prepared himself the best he could, now it was time to face reality.
The drive was relatively calm, Taehyung had the radio on and had no qualms about singing to those songs. It steadied Jimin, kept him grounded. Both of their gifts for the soon to be newly-weds were balanced on Jimin's lap as he mindlessly bounced his leg to the beat of the song.
It was only when the car slowed to a halt that his nerves returned. Could he really face Jungkook? Taehyung reached over to pat Jimin's thigh in a reassuring gesture. The elder drew in one long breath before swinging the car door open.
The click of shutters was unexpected but he did not shy away. Of course there were going to be reporters. It was the wedding of an ex-member of one of the biggest boy groups in history. His face fell to a blank expression, one he had worn so many times over the years, he thought that it would be thrown away forever after they disbanded but the flash of camera's never left, faded but never disappeared.
Taehyung circled around the car, a bland smile on his lips as he faced the people gathered around them. He gently tugged the smaller man forward and they began to make their way forward. Luckily the reporters weren't too pushy and let them pass with relative ease.
The gifts were held in a white knuckled grip by the time they were indoors. Taehyung let out a breathy chuckle. "It's been a while since that's happened hasn't it?" Jimin could only nod, forcing his hands to loosen so he didn't distort the boxes on accident.
"It really has, I almost missed it." Taehyung raised an eyebrow. "Almost." he reaffirmed. He didn't dislike those moments but it was certainly a little overwhelming when airports were overrun with people just to see them. They turned to look at the hall... it was beautiful. Pure white with a dash of yellow in the flowers.
"Jimin! Taehyung! Thank god, you guys were almost late." Jimin hardly had a second to prepare before he was practically being tackled into a hug by Hoseok. Taehyung looked mildly alarmed before he recognized the man who had attached himself to Jimin.
Hoseok bounced back a step and scanned them over, his signature heart shaped smile forming. "You guys look good. Hurry we need to go sit down. The others are waiting." Jimin didn't resist as the gifts were pulled from his hands by the elder who rushed them over to a table piled with other presents.
Jimin had to admit he was rather excited to see everyone together again. It had been far too long since they had had a gathering that all of them had showed up to.
The venue was beautiful and he felt a vice like grip encircle his heart. Hoseok didn't waste a moment as he grabbed them and dragged them into the hall. Taehyung was smiling brightly, just as eager as the man leading them. His breath was stolen as he was tugged into the wedding hall. It was the same white as the reception and it was always how Jimin imagined weddings. He had been to a few but this one was special.
Jungkook was getting married. Just not to him as he had always wished.
He was pulled from his thoughts when he caught sight of the others. The were at the very front of the seats and Jimin wasted no time rushing to hug them. Taehyung was quick to follow. He glanced around to look for Namjoon only to be unable to find the tall man.
"Jimin! You need to come visit more often! I am almost sure my directors would snap you up in a heartbeat if you wanted." Jin tugged him close, smiling at the shorter man. Jimin smiled back, he missed Jin.
"I know, last time I came they were very persistent in wanting me to take up that villain role of theirs," Jimin's words drew out the familiar squeaky laughter that was scarce in his life nowadays. Right when Jimin was about to speak once more he was pushed to the side by an overly enthusiastic Taehyung.
Jimin shook his head at the brunet, a fond smile adorning his features. Yoongi embraced him before he could prepare but he melted into the hold. "Good to see you Jimin. How are you coping?" his last words were more of a whisper.
Yoongi had always been more observant than the others. He had caught onto Jimin before he had even been able to tell Taehyung. He didn't bring it up much but he saw through Jimin's masks when he wore them. One side of the blond's mouth quirked up in a halfhearted smile.
"As best I can. Just as long as he is happy I can deal with my own emotions." Yoongi's face didn't morph into pity and Jimin wanted to hug him. He knew that Jimin hated when people looked at him with pity so even if he felt it he kept it hidden. "I mean it has to get easier at some point right?"
Yoongi soothingly ran a hand over Jimin's hand. "For you Jimin I really hope it does. You don't deserve this." He offered the older man a slightly shaky smile. Maybe he did. Maybe this was what he got for falling in love with someone so far out of his reach.
Jimin stepped out of the way for Taehyung to have his turn with Yoongi.
"You should come by and dance more often. The kids miss you." He let himself fall into the arms of Hoseok. The man was still as bright even after all the years. His face had more lines and the creases around his eyes were more prominent but he still had the energy of the sun about him.
He had let his natural colour grow out and it suited him, even the few odd grey hairs matched him well. "I miss them too." He loved teaching the kids how to dance. It wasnt so much dancing as it was them pleading with their large eyes, to show them a dance that they saw him doing online. It seemed like lifetimes ago but even if he had forgotten a couple of steps he loved those moments.
"I will stop by soon." It was a silent promise he made but he knew he would fulfill it. It might be a good distraction for when this was over. Hoseok seemed quite happy to just be holding him, breathing in the aura of the shorter man. Jimin missed having that almost every day.
The guests were all mingling amid themselves but it only took a few more minutes for everyone to be seated in the pews. It felt like the world stopped rotating when Jimin looked up from his conversation only to see Jungkook.
He looked incredible. No one would look at him and see the face of a thirty-four year old man, he looked almost the same as the day he turned twenty-two.
Jungkook was speaking to Namjoon who was standing up on the platform with him. Namjoon was his best man. Of course he was. Jimin wasn't sure why he was slightly surprised. Namjoon had been Jungkook's personal idol since day one. It was only Hoseok's continued chatter that kept him from crying.
The world went silent after that because, even as he tried to focus on the words the others were speaking, reality was crashing down on him with a painful amount of force. It was like the world was a mile away when suddenly the music began to play, each note replaying like a ghost in his heart.
He mirrored the movements of everyone around him, turning to look at the bride. She was dressed in a lavish gown that was bigger than her personality. Jimin took the years of practice of having to look at ease in any situation and slid a mask of mild happiness in place, refusing to let it slip even when she stepped up onto the raised altar. Her hands slid into Jungkook's and the smile he gave her was just another chip breaking away from his heart.
Jimin couldn't decide whether it was luck or not that he was on the side of the room where he could see Jungkook's face. He wished he could tell Jungkook. Maybe if he had the courage he would have but then he got engaged and he couldn't bring himself to do so.
He should have told him he was in love with him the day they disbanded, if he had known they were going to drift apart anyway he would have done it. But he hadn't and now he had to watch as reality continued to send blows to his heart.
It would only take a few more hits for his heart to shatter into a million shards that would never be able to be put back together.
The bride began to recite her vows and Jimin could feel his mask cracking. He just had to make it through the ceremony. The bride began to recite her vows.
"I offer myself to you with all of my faults and all of my strengths." His throat tightened, and his hand raised to brush over it, willing the air to pass through. "To speak the truth to you in your love." The chisel drove deep, finding rest within his bleeding heart. "I choose you as the person with whom I will spend the rest of my life with." A hammer struck the chisel and he felt as cracks spider webbed across his faltering life force.
A single tear broke through his mask and he felt a hand settle on his thigh. Yoongi let his hand rest there, a simple gesture but it brought a small comfort with it.
He forced himself to look back up only to find another tear trailing down his cheek. It had been so long since he had locked gazes with those large brown eyes. The eyes that held the universe's stars within them.
"I fell before I could realize what happened. You have been by my side for so long, supporting, encouraging, teaching. I heard bells when I first saw you, I truly only thought it happened in movies but maybe we are living in our own movie, our story." Jimin could feel the tears falling in earnest yet he could not find it in himself to look away from those eyes. "I'd choose you in a hundred lifetimes, in a hundred worlds, in any version of reality. I'd find you and I'd choose you." Jimin didn't even realize he had gotten to his feet until he ripped his gaze away from Jungkook's, who had only looked at Jimin during his speech.
All the eyes turned to look at him. He didn't say a single thing as he turned and walked towards the exit. Consequences be damned he had to get out of the room or he was going to suffocate on his own emotions which clogged his throat. He heard several voices calling his name but he didn't look back. He couldn't because with each step the speech replayed through his mind and the hammer began to rise.
He got outside of the building before he broke into a run. Racing into the park surrounded the venue. He raced as the hammer lifted higher and higher.
'I heard bells when I first saw you.'
The hammer dropped.
It barely connected with the chisel before his heart was exploding into a billion tiny fragments. All the pieces scattered like stars in the night sky before being swallowed into the inky black void that poured into the hollow left behind.
Jimin collapsed to his knees, folding over them as he clutched at his chest. His entire body shook as loud cries erupted from him, tears dripping down his cheeks like liquid diamonds as he let his emotions out into the world.
It went on for what felt like hours, broken sobs bubbling past his lips as he knelt on the dirt path. Jimin cried and cried as memories played through his head like a slideshow, the man he loved was never going to be his. Jungkook was hers. Only hers.
He only stopped when his voice faded and tears could no longer run. Each breath felt like an effort as he let his forehead rest against the dirt.
When he managed to collect the strength to sit up purple clouded his vision. He had to blink several times for the world to come into focus but when it did he was met with a painfully beautiful sight.
The wisteria trees were in full bloom.