Chapter Text
Recollecting his memories in over twenty years, Taeyong couldn’t help but feel his chest constrict. There were ups and downs along the way but they’re almost there. He’s thankful to all the people who helped make it happen. He couldn’t thank them enough as words wouldn’t suffice. Taeyong even made a list of the people he owes. He will repay them someday.
Taeyong choked a sob.
“Baby, are you okay?” Jaehyun snapped him out from reverie, voice sounding so concerned over the phone. Taeyong knows Jaehyun will run to him, he just need to say a word.
“I’m fine. I’m just…” Taeyong shifted on his bed. The air-conditioning was suddenly so cold. He could feel his toes freezing so he adjusted the comforter over his body, making sure to snuggle under the warmth. The clock says it’s already 2:25am, only a few hours left for him to sleep. “I’m… nervous. You know, wedding jitters and all. I’m fine though! Don’t worry! It’s just that I can’t breathe and my tummy’s in pain and I’m probably overthinking about—”
Jaehyun chuckled, cutting Taeyong off with his low honey voice vibrating against his ears. Taeyong blushed, still not used to Jaehyun’s voice over the years. He’ll never get used to it, not when it reduced him to a mumbling mess every time. “I’m also nervous, Yong. We’ve come a long way. I can still remember that day when your friends threatened to ditch my body to the nearest river if I ever as much as touch you.”
“Stop!” Taeyong squeaked. “That was so embarrassing!” He slipped even deeper into his bed.
Jaehyun ignored his whining. “The first date was a total disaster. I remember Yuta telling me to walk a meter away from you and to walk ahead because he’s afraid I’d check you out from behind. I swore to Doyoung that my intentions are pure and I just wanted to know you more. He even made this paper I had to sign, promising that you’d be home my six in the afternoon, intact, and I cannot touch even a strand of your hair or else he’d have his father file a restraining order against me.” Jaehyun laughed, “Don’t get me started with them following us the entire day and I was so afraid I’d embarrass myself in front of you.”
The both of them laughed at the memories of Doyoung placating Jaehyun with a glare when he attempted to pinch Taeyong’s cheek for being cute. He was retelling some funny stories and Taeyong was listening attentively, laughing carefree. Jaehyun thought he looked so beautiful he had to touch Taeyong to make sure he’s real. Doyoung blew their cover just to remind Jaehyun of his life.
Taeyong remembered getting angry that his friends didn’t trust him enough to be left alone with his date. In Doyoung’s defense, Jaehyun didn’t look trustworthy given his image as a famous campus jock. Yuta seconded and argued that if a jerk hurt Taeyong, he’s not afraid to lose his black belt in Taekwondo just to kick Jaehyun’s ass. Taeyong remembered walking out with a dumbfounded Jaehyun in tow despite Doyoung and Yuta calling his name and begging him to go home with them. Taeyong and Jaehyun continued the day in a park 20 minutes away from their neighborhood.
Jaehyun has been nice to him, telling him that it’s okay, that he didn’t mind Taeyong’s friends’ threats because he will not do anything that could potentially hurt Taeyong.
“You didn’t, Jae. You were such a gentleman that day, you still are if not more. Had I known they’ll do the things they did, I shouldn’t have told them when you asked me out.”
Taeyong blushed at the memory of kissing Jaehyun’s cheek, where his prominent dimple shows. His smile was so warm. He walked Taeyong home and arrived five minutes before six, keeping his promise. Taeyong kept meeting with Jaehyun after that, a decision he will never regret for the rest of his life.
“It’s okay, baby. I got the chance to prove myself to them. That I’ll take care of you and will never hurt you. That the feelings I felt the day I first saw you were not just a passing crush. And I’m just a day away from starting forever with you.”
Taeyong sniffed, “I love you, Jaehyun.” He felt too emotional. Maybe because after years of loving Jaehyun is still not enough and that being tied to him forever is the only validation he needed. Taeyong wouldn’t deny that they’ve faced an uphill battle and coming out victorious felt so much gratifying. When Jaehyun knelt down on his knee, one hand holding Taeyong’s and the other offering a silver band, both their families cheering in the background, Taeyong’s answer came soon. He’d been the happiest as Jaehyun slip the band in his finger with a silent promise of a happy ever after.
And tomorrow, it will top the memory of their engagement.
“I can’t wait to marry you, Taeyong.” Taeyong heard some rustling from the background, Jaehyun probably shifted on his position. He hummed as Jaehyun continued, “I’ve practiced my vow a lot of times in front of the mirror. I memorized every line and probably made fun of myself in more ways I can count along the way. Despite all the preparations I made, I can’t promise that I’ll deliver them perfectly tomorrow. My brain and mouth might stop functioning altogether.” Jaehyun chuckled and it made Taeyong smile despite the happy tears streaming down his cheeks. “I’m nervous as well, baby. Thinking what if you decided you don’t want me as your husband the last minute, I’d still beg you to marry me. I’ll be crazy if you’ll come out of the venue without my name attached to yours.” Jaehyun paused, “I love you so much, Taeyong. We’re in this together. Always remember. I’m being brave for the both of us, baby. You don’t have to worry.”
“I can’t help it.” Taeyong wiped the ugly blotch on his face with the comforter. “I’ll be damned if I won’t get to be Mr. Jung tomorrow.”
The both of them laughed. The silence stretched for a couple of seconds. They basked under bliss of promises. Taeyong’s eyes are getting heavier each passing second. He yawned loud enough for Jaehyun to hear. “Are you sleepy?”
“A bit. I miss you.” Taeyong answered.
“Do you want me to drive to your hotel? I can sneak out. Mark and the rest are sprawled out sleeping with too much alcohol they won’t know I went out.” Jaehyun suggested. It sounded so tempting. They haven’t seen each other for three days now.
Taeyong chuckled, “No need, Jae. As much as I wish you’re here with me, I don’t want to break traditions and face bad omen. You know you can’t see me until the ceremony, right?”
He can hear Jaehyun smiling, his prominent dimples probably on display. “Nothing can stop me from marrying you. But if my fiancée says so, I’ll follow the tradition and wait. I waited six years for you, baby. This is nothing.” Jaehyun says even with the obvious longing lacing his voice. “I miss you more.”
Taeyong breathed as he fights the impending sleep. A yawn escaped his lips. “I better take my beauty sleep now. I don’t want to look like a fish in front of everyone… Doyoung… will kill me if I have dark circles under my eyes on my big day.”
“Hmm… sleep now, baby. I love you.”
He remembers himself responding something that made Jaehyun laugh before bidding him good night. Taeyong drifted to sleep, wishing for a sunny day in the afternoon. If it rained, it would mess the sunset beach wedding he and Jaehyun planned together for months.
He wished for a good day.
He wished…
-
Jaehyun woke up in chaos. He remained seated on his bed, bed hair sticking to different direction. He would like to question as to why Mark is currently pulling the curtain and Yukhei doing the same on the other side. His eyes already offended by the light spilling from both ceiling to floor windows.
“Hyung! Get up!” Jungwoo grabbed him excitedly, pulling his arms in attempt to get him to stand.
Jaehyun groaned, “Too early, guys. What are you up to?” he suddenly regret agreeing to renting a villa with his cousins and friends. Last night was too rowdy. Jaehyun had to stop Mark and Jungwoo from purchasing another five bottle of expensive Vodka. Yukhei passed out on the couch on their way to second bottle. Jungwoo followed after an hour, retiring beside Yukhei. Mark slumped, banging his head against the table with no care at all, too consumed to even acknowledge pain. Yuta drank him under the table come the fifth bottle while Doyoung was too wasted to even respond when they ask him if he wanted to sleep in his room.
Taeyong’s friends were to remain with him last night as Taeyong’s mother feared they’ll spill Taeyong’s pictures to Jaehyun before the ceremony. They really wanted no one to see Taeyong until the wedding ceremony. His fiancée’s parents as well as his own are staying in a villa opposite them. It was always a relief to Jaehyun that Mrs. Lee and his mother shared the same passion over plants and both their fathers are into business.
“Doyoung was already breathing fire down our neck, hyung, and Yuta hyung is still dead to the world. Please get up, I beg you.” Jungwoo groaned. Jaehyun couldn’t help but smile fondly. His cousin had always been clingy. It wasn’t a secret that Doyoung actually put Jungwoo and Mark to place. A good move Taeyong told him when they made the reservation. Both of them are too much to handle. Jaehyun is so thankful of Doyoung for making sure no one died from alcohol poisoning during their stay in the hotel.
“Did you already eat breakfast?”
Yukhei shook his head. “Doyoung said to get you because you’re paying.”
Jaehyun laughed a bit. “Alright kids, give me five minutes to make myself presentable then we’ll eat breakfast.”
The three cheered and went out, leaving Jaehyun alone inside his room. It suddenly felt big without them. Taeyong sleeps beside him but it’s been three days already and Jaehyun missed him so much.
He leaned to get his phone on top of the nightstand and unlocked it. He’s got tons of notifications lining but he ignored them to scroll down and check if there’s any from Taeyong. Jaehyun smiled when he saw three messages from his beloved.
Jung Taeyong <3
Good morning, Jae! Gosh Doyoung is going to kill me! I look so ugly TT^TT 7:45am
Btw have you eaten? Please eat a lot baby. I don’t want you fainting later haha 7:45am
Remember that I love you. <3<3 7:46am
Jaehyun tapped the screen to reply.
8:20am you are the most beautiful person I’ve ever laid my eyes on, baby.
8:20am Don’t you dare call yourself ugly. I love you so much
8:20am I’m sorry it took me a while to respond. I woke up late ☹
8:21am I’m about to wash my face and meet the others for breakfast. Please eat a lot as well, my baby. I look forward to see you later 😉
8:21am P.S.: start getting used to being Mr. Jung now. :D
He tossed his phone on the bed and went to wash his face. Once ready, Jaehyun pulled a clean shirt from his carrier and changed into it. Jaehyun grabbed his phone before walking out. Taeyong replied soon after he met with Mark. Doyoung is looking at him from behind his sunglasses, lips curving to an obvious frown. Jaehyun smiled his famous dimpled smile and muttered an apology.
“It’s so hot, just so you know. I spent a good fortune on this skin, Jung Jaehyun.” Doyoung said. “If I die from aneurism because of your cousins, you will shoulder my burial expenses.”
They were led to the breakfast buffet. One round table was already reserved for them. “I know you love them, Doie. Mark is an absolute charmer!” Jaehyun pulled a chair for Doyoung before settling beside him. “Though I cannot vouch for Jungwoo. You know how he gets.”
Said Jungwoo is currently building a small mountain on his plate. He sure could eat for a group. Mark and Yukhei follows close behind with the almost the same amount of food. Jaehyun smiled fondly at the sight. They don’t get to spend time together with Yukhei in Hongkong and Jungwoo studying in Japan. Mark went home from Canada to attend his wedding. All three to proxy their parents who unfortunately cannot attend due to busy schedules.
“If I didn’t love Taeyong and you by extension, I certainly will not waste time babysitting the kids.” Doyoung rolled his eyes. “They make me age faster.”
Jaehyun listened to Doyoung ramble about how stressful it was for him to help organize the wedding. From planning everything since last year to delivering Taeyong’s dream wedding. It had been a rollercoaster ride for everyone. “I’m sorry, Doie. You can always ask us of anything. We owe you this.” Jaehyun caught Doyoung’s eyes to share a look. “Both of us are grateful of your help. If it weren’t for you, none of this would’ve happened.”
Mark and the others ate heartily, interjecting from time to time only to annoy Doyoung. Yuta came half an hour later along with Jaehyun and Taeyong’s parents. They joined the table and sat for breakfast. Everything is starting great. Jaehyun could only hope Taeyong isn’t feeling lonely.
After breakfast, Jaehyun and the others started greeting the guest. Some arrived early to catch breakfast while the others managed to check in by lunch. It would’ve been nice to have Taeyong around. Jaehyun missed him so much. It was Doyoung who suggested to book Taeyong’s hotel 30 minutes away from the resort, joking about giving Taeyong a long ride where he can decide if he wanted to ditch Jaehyun last minute.
Jaehyun cannot just leave them with the preparation (or take care of his cousins) and because they don’t want to break traditions. Yuta promised that he’ll ride together with Taeyong to the venue, which is why he already left the villa after breakfast, carrying Taeyong’s suit.
Around three in the afternoon, Jaehyun can already feel the strong clenching of his gut. He cannot help but pace back and forth. Yukhei reminded him about the slight wrinkle on his coat but he couldn’t care less.
Jungwoo tapped on his shoulder, “How about we check the venue first, hyung? You’re so stiff! You’re getting married you know? You’re not attending a funeral. Loosen up!”
“Yeah! Smoothen that crease on your forehead okay? We’re getting impatient and nervous too!” Mark seconded, closing the gap between him and Jaehyun to push the older out of the villa. “Let’s take a walk outside okay? And maybe snap some pictures. That’ll be so cool!” Yukhei hollered and followed them
Jaehyun released a breath he didn’t know he was holding. He allowed his cousins to pull him to the venue. Doyoung was standing outside talking with the wedding coordinator, he pointed several things before nodding his head about something the lady told him.
“Is everything okay?” Jaehyun asked.
Doyoung looked at him, coughing a bit. “Y-yeah. Just some minor changes with the flowers. Didn’t know your aunt is allergic to some orchids. We had to change it immediately—why are you here? Nope don’t answer. I already know.” He squinted his eyes towards Jaehyun’s cousins. “Don’t worry about the venue. Aside from some mishaps, everything is already good.”
“Thank you Doyoung.” Jaehyun said sincerely.
Said male smiled at him, a rare occurrence. He doesn’t smile often, mostly a smug smile that says I told you so because Kim Doyoung is always right. “Are you ready to get married?”
“Never been this ready.”
“I’m so happy for you and Taeyongie. You know I’ve told you million times to take care of him and love him with all you have, I’ll never stop reminding you of that, Jung.” Jaehyun was pulled into a hug. He could smell Doyoung’s cologne, sweet pea, which is kind of cute. Jaehyun reciprocated the hug and murmured a soft thank you because he means it.
They shot lots of photos and in between pictorials, Jaehyun texted Taeyong. Yuta is with him and they’re ready to go. Unfortunately, he didn’t show any photos of him, only of Yuta. Jaehyun wants to see him. Jaehyun wants to hold Taeyong.
Jung Taeyong <3
No peeking! 4:56pm
Yuta looks so good tho 4:56pm
[img234.jgp] 5:01pm
we’re ready to go, Jae 5:01pm
see you in a bit. 5:03pm
I love you so so much. Always remember. I’m so happy to be a part of your life. I will always be grateful of you Jaehyun. Thank you for everything. Take care of Doyoung okay? I’ll take care of Yuta too hehehehe 5:12pm
oops. OTW 5:15pm
I love you, baby. Tell everyone that I love them too. 5:15pm
He wasn’t able to respond. The coordinator snatched his phone from him laughing when he whined about it. “You’ll see him in half an hour, Jaehyun. We need you at the beachfront now. We’ll do a quick rundown of the ceremony.” Jaehyun laughed to himself but he gave in.
Lilies, white orchids and white roses decorated the beachfront. An arch made from vines was stationed at the entrance. Several seats lined on both sides, each of them decorated intricately with flowers and gold ribbons. White clothing drapes from above to create a makeshift tent with warm fairy lights illuminating the place even with the present sun. The altar made Jaehyun blink his tears back. He swore not to cry but this is just too perfect. It was what Taeyong wanted for their wedding. The constant small talks they had for their dream wedding was made into reality. The soft music playing in the background, setting the mood. They rented a small group to provide them music. Taeyong have always dreamt of a mini orchestra playing the wedding march.
By the time the wedding coordinator finished narrating the whole plan for the big day, Jaehyun was already out of breath. He didn’t run a mile-long marathon but his clammy feet and shaking hands are too visible. Sweat is starting to bother him.
He’s too overwhelmed.
His parents gave him a hug with some quick congratulations. They were so proud of him. His cousins wre beside him, standing near the altar, waiting for Taeyong to arrive with Yuta.
Doyoung is a couple of meters away from him, on his phone gnawing his lips. He looked up to catch Jaehyun looking at him. Doyoung smiled gummily at him and pointed his phone, “I’m asking Yuta for an update.” He mouthed before going back to his phone.
Jaehyun nodded. He scanned the whole venue. All the guest were seated, his parents in front with Taeyong’s. They were talking animatedly and it brought warmth to Jaehyun’s heart. The pastor arrived couple of minutes later, giving his shoulder a light pat. Mr. Kim was a pastor at the church Taeyong visits every Sunday. He greeted Jaehyun warmly, congratulating him in advance, before asking where the other groom is.
Jaehyun glanced at his watch. 5:47pm it says. He’s starting to worry. Taeyong and Yuta was supposed to arrive any minute now.
Doyoung threaded the altar walk to speak with the coordinator, phone pressed against his ears. Jaehyun furrowed his brows. Where are they?
Mark started pacing back and forth after ten minutes. It’s already 6:00pm, the sun is starting to set. The beach is getting dark save from the venue. It was well lighted, Jaehyun could see the worry starting to crease Taeyong’s mother’s beautiful face. The guests are starting to worry too. Jaehyun wiped the sweat on his forehead.
Where is Taeyong?
He couldn’t breathe. Jungwoo is rubbing circles on his back. Jaehyun clenched and unclenched his fist. His palms are sweating. Mark murmured something about the time, 6:13pm it says.
The pastor talked to him a bit, trying to calm him down. How can he calm down? How can he breathe when Taeyong’s not here yet? Where is Taeyong? He needed an answer.
He needed it now.
The coordinator gave him his phone back and Jaehyun didn’t waste a single second to call Taeyong. It was unattended. It didn’t even ring. Jaehyun is on the verge of throwing up. He tried again, and again.
Then he remembered Yuta.
He dialed his friend’s number twice but it routed him to voice mail.
“Fuck!” Jaehyun swore. Yukhei and Mark flinched. Jaehyun is the sweetest. He never cursed. “Fucking fuck—Taeyong, baby, answer the phone.” Jaehyun tried to call once again. He didn’t even realize that Doyoung is back, crushing against him, arms wrapped around his waist, ugly tears flowing from his beautiful eyes. “Doyoung, get off me—I need to call Taeyong. He’s fucking late. Fucking missing. Fucking shit—“
It was when Taeyong’s mother sobbed, a wrecked cry that snapped Jaehyun back to his senses. Why are they crying? His parents are crying too.
“Let’s go, Jae. Please. Come with me. Let’s go there.” Doyoung plead. Jaehyun didn’t like the look on his face. It mirrored everyone’s face. Terrified, devastated. His cousins left his side to calm the guests and his parents. Jaehyun was still rooted on the ground with Doyoung clinging to him like he’ll die any minute. “Please, Jaehyun. Come with me. Let’s see them please. We need to go.”
Everything that happened next was a blur to him. Suddenly he was shouting for his car keys, snatching it from his Father’s hand. Jaehyun never thought the day where he’ll break traffic rules will come. He was speeding along the highway with Doyoung on the passenger seat. Doyoung didn’t stop crying.
Jaehyun cannot even shed a tear.
There’s no way he’ll cry. He was supposed to be happy today. The happiest man alive. With Taeyong beside him. Taeyong promised him that he’ll carry his name before the day ends. Taeyong promised they’ll look into adoption and build their family. Taeyong will smile at him and kiss him and hold him and tell him that this was just an elaborate prank and Jaehyun will forgive him in a second because he loves Taeyong so much.
There was a sharp downhill slope. Jaehyun can see darkness, he can hear the crashing waves but he refused to see a big cargo truck crashed against a boulder. Jaehyun refused to acknowledge the burn out from tires and the broken railings. The police were everywhere. There was an ambulance. People are rushing back and forth, sirens creating the annoying sound of death and it burns Jaehyun’s ears.
He caught Doyoung’s hand as they fought their way towards the railings. The police were forcing them back. “Let me through! Fucking let me through—I need to find Taeyong!—”
When he saw it, down below, hundred feet from where they’re standing, an all familiar sedan shattered and burning. There were several rescue officials rounding the wreckage. He saw Yuta’s body, bloody and a mess. Doyoung cried his name.
They heard the rescuers asking them if they could identify the remains.
“What did you say? Remains?” Jaehyun could only burst in anger because what the fuck. Taeyong is not dead. Yuta too.
It was a whirlwind. Jaehyun cannot remember what happened next. He was just looking down with his clenched fist. Too angry to even care.
Too broken to even respond.
They told him that Taeyong’s body is missing. Yuta is barely alive. The driver died on the spot. That there was an accident, the car swivel to avoid crashing the truck only to hit the railings. Then it fell down
They never recovered Taeyong’s body after a month of searching, pronouncing him dead.
-
It happened and now Jaehyun is stuck.
He cannot even move on. He’s drowning even deeper.
Doyoung’s low moans echoed and Jaehyun let himself feel it. He continued slamming inside the wet heat that’s too welcoming. Every thrust, it burns him. The only time he allowed himself to live. His grip tightened around Doyoung’s waist, the younger’s hand covering his as they danced in unison. Doyoung’s melodious voice wraps his mind in haze. It was too pleasurable.
It was always like this for three years.
“Doie,” Jaehyun murmured before kissing Doyoung’s exposed shoulder.
They never stopped coping.
For three years. The only thing he cared for is touching something closer to Taeyong. Something that will give him the high he needed to survive.
Doyoung craned his neck to catch Jaehyun’s lips, it tasted betrayal and the love they both had and lost. For now, they’re contented.