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cravings

Summary:

Dimitri gives Ashe a rather confusing lunch request.

Notes:

before you read, here's the support convo music just to add to the immersion:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yx5JOcp15cM

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

"Hello, Your Highness!" Ashe happily greeted from the kitchen.

The prince smiled. "Hello, Ashe. I take it you're on cooking duty today?"

Ashe nodded. "Yep! Are you hungry?"

Dimitri was about to say no, but then something caught his tongue. The noble put his hand to his chin, recalling a craving he's had for awhile now.

"Hmm...come to think of it, I'd love to have a boneless pizza...with a two-liter of coke." He said with a smile.

Ashe blinked twice, unsure what exactly his house leader just asked for. "A- a what pizza?" He asked. "And- I think the two-liter machine is broken. But we do have one-liter."

Dimitri lifted a brow. "Oh, well then don't worry about the coke, I just want my pizza boneless."

Ashe scratched the side of his head. "Your Highness...pizza doesn't have bone on it."

"Then what did I just say?"

"You said 'I want my pizza boneless', like pizza has a bone in it."

"Do you put bones in your food, then?" Dimitri asked, genuinely curious.

Ashe could feel himself getting tense. "N-no...?" He responded, more quietly than before.

"Well what's the problem?"

And just like that- He lost it. Ashe slammed his hand down on the counter, making Dimitri jump.

"DICKHEAD." Ashe yelled. "Name...ONE pizza...that has bone on it."

This took Dimitri aback. Out of all his classmates to call him 'dickhead', he expected it least from sweet, humble little Ashe. On one hand, at least he's finally not speaking to him so formally? But on the other hand, this wasn't- well- the way he wanted it to happen.

"J-just...don't put bones...in my pizza?" He muttered, now less confident in his words. "Ashe, is there something wrong with what I'm asking?"

Ashe took a sharp breath, clearly trying not to lose his temper again, and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Please, just-" He looked up at the ceiling and wondered for a minute 'is this going anywhere', "- explain how pizza can be boneless."

Dimitri once again put his hand on his chin. He knew this was confusing Ashe, so he had to fix his phrasing.

"If it doesn't have bone on it, it's boneless." He shrugged.

Ashe sighed, running a hand through his gray hair. (He wouldn't be surprised if it was also graying from this conversation.) "Your Highness, with all due respect, what school do you go to?"

"Ashe- really- I don't understand the problem." Dimitri shook his head. "Just make my food boneless-"

"I'M DEADASS NOT MAKING THIS PIZZA!" Ashe shouted, scaring Dimitri. He threw his frying pan down and stomped out of the dining hall, grumbling to himself loudly on the way and leaving the prince standing there confused.

"I don't get it, how was that request so confusing...?" He muttered to himself.

Notes:

i have work in the morning and i chose to do this instead of going to bed early