Chapter Text
20 Questions: A Biology Lesson
“Can I - can I ask you a question?”
Sans raised a brow.
“I’ve wanted to ask you for a while but it’s a question about monsters . . .” I trailed off, noticing that he had tensed. I rushed to explain myself. “And I know you’re still cautious around humans and you have every right to be y’know? I’m not gonna blame you for that because you’re right, but you and Papyrus are such unique monsters -”
“uh, kid?” Sans cut in, but I continued.
“- I’ve never seen any other skeletons before so even if I wanted to ask someone else I really couldn’t because no one but you would be able to answer. Actually, I guess I could ask Papyrus -”
“now wait a minute -” I didn’t even notice as Sans spoke again.
“- but I don’t know if he’d know because I question is more about you than him so you really are the only person who could answer but I don’t want to bother you with questions about monsters, I’m sure you get enough of assholes asking you things but I’m just so -”
“kid!” Sans shouted and I fell silent.
“Um . . . yes?” I said dumbly.
“jesus, it’s just a question, calm down,” Sans said. “I don’t know what it is you wanna ask but just go ahead and ask it alright?”
“Are - are you sure?”
“sure I’m sure,” Sans said with a wink. “I’ll let you pick my brain.”
Ignoring the terrible pun, I took a breath and asked, “How exactly do your eyes work?”
“well, I use ‘em to see,” Sans replied.
“No, that’s not - Sans, you know that’s not what I mean. I mean, how do your eyes work? You and Papyrus are so the same and yet you’re so different. I get that monster bodies are made up of magic but most monsters of the same type I guess you’d say look really similar. Every Vulcan and Vegetoid I’ve met looks the same. But for you and Papyrus being the same type of monster and brothers at that there’s some things that are just confusing.”
At my explanation, Sans grows more attentive. “confusing how exactly, because if you ask me, you humans all look a lot alike too, you’re all soft and weird.”
“Your eyes are driving me crazy Sans-” I caught what I said. “Wait - no! Not like that!”
Sans’ smile grew wider. “well geez, kid, that’s awful sweet but you’re just not my type.”
“Sans!” I shouted. “I’m being serious! Your eyes make no sense! I get that you’re a skeleton monster but why is it that they have depth to them? I mean, humans have eye sockets like you do but the whole point is that an eye is supposed to go in there. Why do you have sockets if you don’t have “eyes” that fill them?”
Sans paused for a second in thought then stuck a single, bony finger directly into his eye socket.
“this bothers you, kid?”
“Yes! How do you even do that?” I asked. “They’re still your eyes. Does that hurt? Can you even feel it from the inside? Do bugs ever fly in there?”
Sans laughed easing up and taking the questions more seriously. “uh, I wouldn’t say it hurts per se but it’s not exactly comfortable either, kid. as for bugs - eh, hasn’t happened yet, but I’ll be sure to keep ya posted. satisfied?”
“Not even a little bit,” I replied. “Papyrus’ eyes are kinda similar, right?”
Sans, eyes dark, seemed almost unsure of his answer. “uh yeah sure I guess. What’s this got to do with Paps?”
“That’s another thing that’s confusing to me! Your eyes - eye sockets? I guess I’ll call them eye sockets. Your eye sockets have depth but I noticed that you’re the only one with something actually in them.”
“ya lost me.”
“Papyrus’ eye sockets are just empty, but you have little pupils I guess? That light in your eyes. Or I guess the light that was in your eyes a minute ago. They move just like human eyes or as much like human eyes as they can given the whole magic thing, but how does that work? Are they actually light? Do you necessarily have to move them to see? When they go out like that is that a thing you do whenever you want?”
Sans blinked and the lights came back. “wow heh you’re really hitting hard with these questions here, kid. kinda unfair that I’m sittin here being your monster bio teacher for the day. what’s in it for me?
“What?”
“well” Sans continued. “here we are having this wonderful conversation about skeleton anatomy and what happens when we’re done? I reveal all me an Paps’ personal information and you walk away with your curiosity sated. just doesn’t seem fair if ya ask me.”
Knowing Sans, I was about to get myself into something stupid, but he did have a point. Why was it okay for me to just up and ask him all of this stuff? I barely knew the guy! “Um I - I’m not sure I have anything to offer you. I’m kinda strapped for cash, remember?”
Sans chuckled. “no, no it’s nothin like that. believe it or not, I’ve got some questions too and if we’re gonna be playing twenty questions maybe you can give me some answers.”
“You have questions . . . about humans?” I said slowly.
“Yep, told ya before you guys are weird.”
I thought over my answer for a long moment. “Uh yeah, sure I guess. What do you want to know?”