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“Hey guys,” Peter looks into the camera. His hair is standing up. “As I’m sure you all know by now, there is a global pandemic going on. So most of us are doing our parts in social distancing to stop the spread of the virus. But—“ A door creaks behind him and he turns around.
“Again, Peter?” A voice comes from off-screen.
“Oh, hey Mister Stark,” he taps the screen and the camera flips, revealing Tony Stark, upside down. “Say hi to Instagram!”
“Hi Instagram. Can I ask why exactly you’re on my ceiling?” He folds his arms over his chest.
“Oh, yeah. Ceiling. Right.” A sound like duct tape being ripped off a wall comes from behind the camera and the stream tumbles so the image is right-side up and Peter lands on his feet. “I was just telling Instagram,” he pauses to tap the screen and the camera faces him again. “About some of the ways I’m passing the time during the coronacation.”
“Coronacation?” The voice is deadpan.
“Yeah! You know… corona vacation, coronacation!” Peter looks into the camera and smiles, seeking validation.
A sigh. “Alright. Try not to… break anything.” The door opens again and his footsteps leaves the room.
“Will do!” Peter’s eyes follow Tony down the hall and return to the camera once he disappears into his office. “Okay, so anyways, I just wanted to hop on Live most days until life restarts to show you all some of the ways that I have been passing the time.” He props his phone up against something on a counter and seats himself on a stool to lean his elbows on the table. He goes to rest his chin on his fists but stops himself.
“First order of business. Take everything seriously. I know you’re all bored. But stay home. Don’t go out and do your normal thing. Think about your parents, grandparents. The man who makes your sandwiches at the local deli. The woman who buys you churros on the corner of 2nd and Lincoln Street. Think about them and how your life would be different without them. They are the group that is most at-risk during these times. So stay. Home.”
He leans back and claps his hands together. The room is naturally lit and there is a large sectional and a flat screen TV in the background. “Okay. Now that all that’s out of the way, it’s time for our first quarantine activity!” He smiles and it’s genuine. “We’re gonna serenade one of my friends!” He picks up his phone again and his face falls. “Oh, wait. I need… hold on.” He gets up and looks around in search of something. “So… I need another phone. There’s gotta be another phone around here somewhere. A landline or… something…” he walks around the room and the camera angles are dizzying.
He walks over to the next room and hangs on the door frame with one hand. The camera is aimed up at his face, giving the audience a nice view up his nostrils. “Hey Mister Stark?” He kept his voice down and Tony’s responses were unintelligible. “Sorry to bother you, but I was wondering if you got a landline I can borrow somewhere around here.” His face lights up at the answer. “Oh, sweet! Thanks Mister Stark.” He walks into the room and grabs the phone to hold up in front of the camera and winks.
“Okay, now that we have a phone, we can get this party started,” he walks back to his stool by the counter and sets the phone that’s filming up in the same position as before. He dials a phone number on the landline and raises it to his ear. “It’s ringing,” he whispers. Comments stream in on the livestream, but he keeps his mind on the task at hand.
“Hello?” The voice on the other end of the call is barely audible and Peter turns the speakerphone on.
“Why do you build me up, buttercup, baby just to let me down, and mess me around,” Peter sings into the phone and looks into the camera, a hint of a smile clinging to his lips like he’s sharing a secret.
“Peter? What are you--”
“I need you! More than anyone darlin’, you know that I have from the start,” Peter takes a breath, “So build me up, build me up buttercup, don’t break my heart.” Peter stops and smiles an expectant smile waiting for her to continue.
She takes a breath. “I’ll be over at ten, you tell me time and again, but you’re late! I wait around and then,”
“Yeah MJ!” Peter cheers. He pumps his fist in the air as she continues.
“I went to the door, I can’t take any more. It’s not you, you let me down again.”
“Baby baby, try to find, a little time and I’ll make you mine,” they continue together and Peter beams. “I’ll be home, I’ll be beside the phone waiting for you!” MJ laughs through the phone as Peter goes through with the ‘ooh’s, and her laugh lights up Peter’s face.
“You’re a major dork, Peter.”
“Oh I know.” Peter’s eyes flick down to the phone in his hands and he just smiles, savoring the attention from her. “You’re on Instagram Live, by the way. Say ‘hi’ to the Internet!”
“Peter!” she chastises him. “Why?” Her tone is more than accusatory and Peter makes a face at the camera.
“We’re showing people some fun things to do while social distancing!”
“Oh! In that case, I have another idea for the people of the Internet to do during this time.”
“Be my guest.” Peter chuckles.
“Learn how to entertain yourselves. Read a book for once.”
“Thanks for your thoughtful insight, MJ.” Peter rolls his eyes and looks back at the landline.
“Anytime loser. Talk to you later.” The line beeps and Peter sets the landline down on the counter.
“Ladies and gentlemen, my wonderful girlfriend MJ. Even though she can be a bit of a buzzkill sometimes, she makes a good point.” Peter crosses his arms and leans forward on the counter. “There’s lots of things you can do to entertain yourself while social distancing. Doing school work, watching lots of Disney+, reading a book, calling your friends. It doesn’t have to completely suck. The only way it will completely suck is if you let it completely suck.”
“So, uh, yeah.” Peter shrugs his shoulders. “Wash your hands, don’t touch your face, stay home. Call your friends!” Peter smiles into the camera and picks up the phone. “I’ll be back soon with more ideas for things to do in quarantine another day!”
The feed cuts off with the image of Peter’s focused expression trying to find the ‘off’ button on the livestream.