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Hop is five when Leon becomes champion of Galar. He watches the match on the telly, Leon’s old Charizard plush nestled under his chin as he leans in close enough to feel the static on his face. Distantly, he hears his grandmother scolding him, saying he’s going to wreck his eyes like that, but he doesn’t care. Leon, his big brother, is on the screen. He wishes dad were here to see it. He hopes that he’s watching it, wherever he is right now.
And he wins. He wins! Hop lets out a shriek and tosses the Charizard doll in the air. He feels his mum’s arms wrap around him from behind and lift him up to swing him around as he giggles and kicks his legs.
“We need to call Lee!” Hop says when he’s put back down. He scrambles to pick the Charizard doll back up, pats its head as if to apologize.
His mum says he’ll call when he gets the chance. And so Hop waits.
It takes forever, he thinks. When he recalls the time after Leon’s win later, he realizes that two weeks in was definitely as quickly as Leon could have possibly gotten home. In the moment, though, it feels like an unfairly long time. Every day he wakes up and asks his mom when Lee will be home, how many sleeps, and every day, she says she doesn’t know, but she hopes her little Champion will be home soon.
When the day finally arrives, Wedgehurst is more crowded than Hop has ever seen it. He clings to the leg of his mum’s trousers and cranes his neck to try to see around the crowd. He hears Lee before he sees him, though.
“I hope you all have a Champion Time!” the familiar voice rings out over the crowd. Hop lets go of his mother, a delighted cry escaping him. He dodges around her hand as she tries to pull him back. Too slow.
He ducks around the other people in the crowd, stumbling several times as he goes, until he emerges at the feet of a Charizard. Hop’s face breaks into a beaming smile as he looks up at the dragon, who coos and leans down to nuzzle the top of his head.
“Hop!” Leon peers around his Charizard, and Hop gapes at how different he looks. He looks big, he thinks, but small, too. He’s glowing, and his hair is fluffy around his head. He’s gotten taller too, Hop is pretty sure, but he’s swamped by the massive red cape draped around his shoulders. It looks heavy. It doesn’t stop him from surging forward to grip his younger brother in a crushing hug, however.
Leon’s gotten stronger too, Hop thinks. He feels himself being hoisted onto his brother’s shoulders. He giggles and grips his long, purple hair tightly, causing him to wince under Hop’s hold, but he doesn’t scold him. Leon never gets mad at him. Not ever.
“And this is Hop!” Leon calls to the crowd, who let out a chorus of laughter. His mum has made her way to the front of the crowd now, and she’s shaking her head fondly. Hop holds his head high. “Hop’s gonna be your next champion, so watch out!” Leon says, grinning nice and wide, a laugh rumbling through his whole body, rocking his shoulders.
Hop hums and smiles down at his brother. “Welcome home, Lee.”
“Good to be back, Hop.”
♦
When Hop is six, Leon visits unexpectedly, with a man named Chairman Rose. Their mum seems very flustered when he shows up, so Hop figures he must be important, but he’s just happy to see Leon again. His big brother scoops him up and takes them away from where the adults are talking, depositing him on the living room couch.
“I’m not here for long,” Leon says as he settles down next to Hop. Hop frowns, but nods. Mum says he has to be strong, like his Champion big brother. Hop wishes being strong wasn’t so hard.
So they catch up quickly. Leon asks how school is (fine, they’re learning about endangered Pokemon right now, and Hop keeps getting scolded for crying in class. He can’t help it! He just feels so bad for the poor Drampas!)
Hop, in turn, asks how league business is going. Leon bites his lip a bit, then answers that it’s going awesome. Something about the answer feels weird, but Hop doesn’t know what. He smiles and gives his brother a big hug.
When Leon leaves ten minutes later, Hop cries harder than he did when he found out about Drampa.
♦
When Hop is seven, he’s old enough to really feel how long Leon’s absences are. His brother feels so different every time he returns, and yet they never seem to have trouble drifting into the same closeness they’ve always shared. This time, Leon had begged their mum to let him take Hop on route one. Hop was sure she’d never say yes, but she had . Hop smiles at Leon as they walk together through the grass. The long strands brush against his exposed legs. He hears bug Pokemon squealing and scrambling away from his oncoming footsteps. The heat feels like a weight on Hop’s shoulders, and distantly, he hopes the little guys find some shade.
“You’re amazing, Lee.” He says, giggling as a Blipbug scuttles by his foot.
“Anything for you, Hopster,” Leon replies. They continue along the way until they come to a bush. To Hop, it looks like all the other bushes on the route, but Leon stops at it and looks up at Charizard, who gives him a nod. He smiles down at his brother before shuffling around it. “Come on!” He calls.
Hop hesitates, glancing up at Charizard, who lets out a sound not unlike their family Purrloin. Hop giggles and reaches up to rub the dragon’s belly. He lets out a happy grumble in response.
“Don’t spoil him, Hop,” Leon says, placing his hands on his hips, “he already has a dreadful begging habit- Raihan and Sonia always give him extra treats.”
Charizard lets out a rumbling cry. His wings flatten against his back as he sits on the ground and dips its head low, fixing Leon with a sad stare. Leon wrinkles his nose and glares back. Hop looks between them, then follows Leon. Charizard, still grumbling, follows shortly after.
Leon leads them to a stretch of grass hidden among the bushes. The sun shines down, soaking the area in a brilliant glow. Around the edges, hidden under the bushes and trees, Wooloo doze, looking up only briefly as the group enters the area. Leon falls back into the soft, overgrown grass with a sigh, eyes fluttering closed. Hop does the same, landing so that the top of his head brushes the top of Leon’s. The two of them breathe in sync, taking in the warmth of the sun. At one point, Hop opens one eye to watch Charizard curiously prod at a nearby Dubwool, who snorts petulantly up at the dragon.
BZZZZZZT!
Leon’s Rotom zips in front of him, lightning-bolt arms flailing at its side. Bzzz- video message from Raihan, incoming!
Leon sits bolt upright, knocking Hop’s head as he goes. Hop yelps and flinches back, casting a glare in Leon’s direction, which rapidly transforms into a knowing grin as he notices Leon straightening his clothes and blushing.
“Mama says you have a crush on him,” he says, his voice level, like he’s stating an obvious fact, and he knows he is, by the wide-eyed look his brother gives him. “She says that twelve is when you start to get serious crushes.” Hop doesn’t know what that means. He has crushes all the time. Once, he even had a girlfriend! They’d broken up after four days. She’d come up and said things were complicated. Hop had said okay, and gone back to playing with his Pokemon figurines. Maybe the type of crush Leon had was more like in the movies, then.
“No, I-”
BZZZZT - Accepting Call with Raihan! Leon’s Rotom buzzes. Leon can only flounder, taking a second to brush his hair back, before Raihan’s face is filling the screen in front of them.
“Hey Lee,” Raihan grins, then, noticing Hop, he adds, “and lil’ Hopscotch! You’re gettin’ big, aren’t ya’?” Hop offers an enthusiastic nod.
Raihan nudges his own phone back and gestures behind him. In the background, Hop can make out a billboard, one with Leon on it. Hop leans forward, gaping at the sight. Leon is in his signature outfit, nothing like the loose shirt and joggers he’s wearing today. He’s striking his signature Charizard pose, his hair flowing in the wind. He looks so, so--
“ Duuuuumb,” Leon groans, covering his face with his hands.
“What?” Hop gasps, blinking over at his brother, who’s peering through his fingers at a cackling Raihan. “No way, Lee. You look super cool.” As if to demonstrate his point, Hop jumps to his feet, stumbling a little, but Leon catches him around the ankle. He clears his throat before striking the Charizard pose . Feet wide apart, one hand up, fingers splayed, a smirk on his face, or the best smirk a seven-year-old can make, which looks more like a dopey grin than anything. Hop thinks he nails it.
In the background, he hears Raihan let out a whoop . Charizard turns its head towards him and lets out a happy cry, startling the Dubwool he’d been talking to. Leon only rolls his eyes, but his wide smile tells Hop that he’s just as amused. Hop settles back down and rests his head on his brother’s shoulder.
“I gotta go, I just wanted to show you the board,” Raihan says, angling the phone to catch it once again. “I got that interview at Hammerlock- wish me luck, will you?”
“Luck!” Hop and Leon say at the same time.
“Jynx,” Leon whispers as the call cuts off.
“Aw, Lee, no fair!” Hop whines. Leon pinches his nose and grins.
“You’ll beat me next time.”
♦
When Hop is nine, he’s old enough to feel stressed when Leon comes to visit. The only overnight visits he’s had for the last year were for Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur. Even on their birthdays, he was forced into only taking day trips. This year, their dad had shown up for their birthdays, too. It had been so long since all of them were together like that. Mum and dad hadn’t even fought.
Leon says he can stay the night this time, but Hop isn’t so sure. Still, as they lay in the grass outside their home, staring at the stars, Hop thinks that surely it’s too late to turn back on that promise now.
Hop reaches up a finger and points, “That’s Ursaring major,” he says, turning to look at Leon, who’s wrinkling his nose in thought.
“I don’t know how you remember this stuff,” he says, “but tell me more.”
So Hop does. He tells Leon about all the constellations he can remember. The grass is cold on his back, almost icy, but he doesn’t want to leave. Leon smiles and turns to him. “You should talk to Sonia about this sometime. She always knew more about that sort of thing than me.”
Hop frowns, finding himself strangely resistant to the idea. He wants to be good at what Leon is good at, not Sonia. He instantly feels bad for thinking it. Sonia’s nice and cool, too. He looks pointedly away from his brother.
BZZZZT .
The sound is familiar now, but Hop bites his tongue and doesn’t say anything as Leon taps the screen of his phone. The glow of it illuminates his brother’s face, and for the first time, Hop notices how dark the circles under his eyes are. Mama says he probably doesn’t sleep much. Not enough for a growing boy.
It’s hard to think of Leon as a boy. Maybe that’s the point.
Leon’s screen goes dark. “I’m sorry--”
“Oleana?” Hop’s voice comes out sounding more rough than he intends. He reaches up to wipe stray tears from his eyes. “It’s okay.”
Leon pauses, and Hop hopes he won’t try to apologize again. It’s harder to stay tough and not cry when he apologizes. He hears his brother stand, and feel’s a hand touch his shoulder. He looks up and finds Leon reaching his other hand out towards him. He takes it, allows himself to be pulled upright. Leon picks his bag up off the ground and fishes inside for a moment before pulling out a pokeball.
He tosses it in the air, and the flash of light is almost blinding in the gloom. It is soon replaced by a gentler, warmer, light, however, as Charizard emerges from the ball. The dragon grunts and blinks sleep from its eyes. When it yawns, two sharp rows of teeth are momentarily on full display, and Hop thinks, he’s never been scared of Pokemon before, but he can understand why some people might be.
Charizard tilts his head towards Leon, who reaches forward to scratch the back of his neck. With a pleased rumble, Charizard dips down and allows Leon to clamber onto his back. Leon turns and extends his hand once again.
“Hop on,” he says, smiling widely, “pun intended.”
Hop is apprehensive. He likes Charizard, but he’s big, and warm, and he has long claws and teeth, and Hop has never been in a flying taxi before, and this is so much more dangerous. But he meets Leon’s eyes, sees his easy smile, and he trusts him. He trusts his big brother more than anyone in the world. He takes Leon’s hand and allows him to hoist him up. Hop settles in front of Lean, instinctively wrapping his arms tightly around Charizard’s neck.
Leon leans over him and taps Charizard’s shoulder.
The Pokemon spreads long, leathery wings. It widens its stance, and then the wings push down, sending a rush of air in their wake as the three of them soar skyward. Hop lets out a shriek, half delight, half fear, like he’s on a rollercoaster. The shriek gives way to a fit of giggles, and Charizard lets out a pleased rumble at the sound of it.
“Flicker,” Leon says, using the Pokemon’s nickname, “Do a flip.”
Hop is about to ask what Leon means, but within moments, Flicker is showing him. He flaps his wings in quick motions, pushing air under them, until they’re rising, rising, and Flicker is twisting his body until they’re upside down. Hop screams, Leon laughs, and when Hop looks down, he can see the whole world. Or, his whole world. Postwick and Wedgehurst sprawl out under them, a series of long, green fields, interspersed with homes made of patchwork wood and brick, with the occasional group of bushes or scrawny birch trees. The scene is lit only by the stars on the half moon above, Hop is amazed by how well the silvery light illuminates the scenery.
“Home, Flick,” is Leon’s next command. The Charizard gives an affirmative grunt and veers towards Postwick. Hop frowns and hunkers back down. When the wind bites at his face, he pretends that’s the reason that tears are forming at the corners of his eyes.
Flicker lands them at the front door, and the two of them disembark. Hop stumbles as he jumps off, and as Leon ushers him towards the door, he can’t find it in himself to look up. He feels tiny, insignificant.
He wants to beg Leon to stay, but he knows Leon would if he could.
Leon is silent for a moment. “Be right back,” he says, so quietly that Hop doubts for a moment that it was said at all. Hop spares a glance up as Leon digs through his bag, left by Charizard’s feet, and pulls out an old, worn jacket. Hop recognizes it as the one Leon took when he first left on his journey. It’s a dark blue color, lined with soft Wooloo’s fur. Hop blinks, a frown tugging at his features.
Leon approaches, looking over the coat appraisingly, then down at Hop. He sinks onto his knees in front of his brother and wraps the coat around his thin shoulders. Hop looks at it, then slowly puts his arms through the holes. The tips of his fingers barely poke through the bottom.
“You’re smaller than I was,” Leon notes, “but I think you’ll grow into it.”
Hop looks at his brother, nods, and pulls the jacket tight around him. With a soft smile, he turns and opens the front door. “Bye, Lee,” he says, “I love you.”
Leon, climbing back on Flicker’s back, offers a smile in return. “I love you too, Hop. I’ll be back soon.”
Leon looks impossibly powerful as he takes to the sky atop his Charizard. Hop tells himself that one day he’ll fly alongside him.
♦
Leon isn’t back soon. He never is. But he’s back as soon as he can be, and Hop supposes he can’t ask for more than that. Still, he wishes he’d call more. He wishes he knew how to ask him to. It’s his tenth birthday, and Hop can hear his mum bickering quietly with Leon in the kitchen. Hop curls around his Charizard doll and furrows his brow, hoping nothing serious is happening.
Eventually, the two of them emerge, his mum’s arms folded across her chest, a soft smile coloring her features. Leon’s smile is far wider. He’s fifteen now, and he’s recently hit a growth spurt, shooting him up several inches. Hop thinks he looks larger than life. In his hand is a small green pokeball. Hop looks at it, head tilting slightly to one side. He wonders if Leon has a new Pokemon to show him. To his surprise, however, Leon presses the ball into Hop’s hand.
“This is a nest ball,” he explains. Hop perks up at the words. He remembers from school that a nest ball is good at catching newly-hatched Pokemon. Leon continues, “It should be able to catch anything you find on route one.” Leon’s smile grows wider than Hop would have thought possible. “You know what that means?”
Hop stares at his brother for a moment, and like physical puzzle pieces slotting together in his mind, he realizes, “I’m gonna get a pokemon!” he squeaks, looking between his mum and Leon. He drops his Charizard doll and stares down at the ball in his hands. “A pokemon!”
Leon chuckles and nods, “We gotta go now, though. Before all the little ones go to sleep.”
Hop pauses for a moment, then rushes towards the front door, laughter echoing behind him. He nearly falls in his rush to slip on his shoes. Leon waits for him to finish getting ready, and within moments, they’re out the door.
Hop has been on route one a few times before, during previous visits from Leon, but this time, he feels powerful. He can hardly convince himself to take his eyes off the ball sitting comfortably in his palm. Leon rests his hand on Hop’s shoulder to veer him away from an exposed tree route, but says nothing.
“So, the most common pokemon here are Skwovet and Rookidee. Wooloo and Nickit also hang around, and if you look closely in the grass-” Leon rambles, but Hop’s mind stops processing his words around the time he says Rookidee . He perks up.
“Rookidee evolves into a steel type! I want that one.”
Leon blinks, then smiles, nice and wide. Little crinkles appear under his eyes. “That’s my little brother, already thinking strategy,” he rolls his wrist and gestures to the field in front of them, where several Pokemon and wandering around, casting glances their way occasionally. “Have at er, then, I’ll be right here.”
Hop wants to argue- wants to ask Leon to stay with him, but he tells himself he has to be brave if he wants to be the next champion. He clutches his Pokeball between both hands, like he might drop it otherwise, and steps forward, eyeing a chubby Rookidee that’s poking at the ground nearby. As he steps closer, grass rustles under his feet and the Rookidee flinches, taking a little hop to distance itself.
“Hey, little guy,” he whispers, offering what he hopes is a soft smile. The Rookidee tilts its head- which really means tilting its whole body, and jumps forward once, twice.
Baaaaaaaah!
The Rookidee lets out a startled cry and spreads its little wings. It flaps furiously, bits of down spraying out in its wake as it takes to the sky.
“What the-” Hop turns to face whatever interrupted his perfect moment, coming face-to-face with a little back-and-white bundle of fluff.
“Bahhh!” The Pokemon- the Wooloo repeats. Hop scowls.
“You ruined my shot,” he says, poking the Wooloo’s snout with an outstretched finger. The Pokemon blinks and lets out another cry, seemingly unperturbed.
He hears Leon laugh in the background, but his elder brother doesn’t intervene. Hop whirls around and stalks off, searching for another Rookidee. Luckily, Leon is right about them being common, and he soon finds himself coaxing another one forward.
He goes to take a step forward, and feels something holding him back by his jacket. Hop frowns. He turns around, and once again, he finds himself face-to-face with that same Wooloo.
“What?” he asks, as if the Pokemon can respond.
“Baah,” the Wooloo mumbles around a mouthful of fabric.
Leon’s a few steps away now. “Hop, I think a Pokemon’s chosen you.”
Hop furrows his brow and takes a good, long look at the Pokemon, then back at the nearby Rookidee. Noticing this, the Wooloo lets go of his jacket, steps back, wiggles its rump, and jumps upwards, as high as it can, flailing its little legs as it goes. It crumples to the ground and looks up at Hop with wide, hopeful eyes.
Hop feels his heart warm. He crouches down and runs his hand through the Wooloo’s coarse fur. “You really wanna join me, huh?”
The Wooloo nods, nosing at the Pokeball in his hand.
Hop looks over at his brother, who shrugs. “Well, who am I to say no,” Hop says. He wanted a Rookidee but… well, he can always get one later. He presses the button at the front of the pokeball to the Wooloo’s head. The Pokemon lets out another cry as it’s absorbed in a flash of white light.
Hop pulls back and stares at the ball for a moment. He’s suddenly aware of all the sensations around him. He can feel the weak sunlight beating down on him, warming his dark hair. He can hear the rustle of the grass, the beat of his own pulse in his ear. It’s like the world’s narrowed around him, and it’s just him and his new Pokemon.
He brings the Pokeball to his cheek and presses it here, tears prickling the corners of his eyes. “We’re gonna be best friends, Wooloo,” he promises in a gentle whisper.
He feels a firm, calloused hand grip his shoulder, and turns to meet Leon’s eyes. He finds his brother blinking away tears.
“You and Wooloo are gonna be amazing,” he says, “I hope she can help you feel less lonely without me.”
Hop smiles and nods, but he knows no one could ever replace the companionship of his brother.
He doesn’t say so out loud.
♦
When Hop is eleven, he has a crush, and it feels different from the ones he’s had before, for a number of reasons. He calls Leon, because Leon is sixteen, and if movies are anything to go by, that’s the prime age for understanding romance, even if it’s “complicated”.
He’d ask his dad. That’s what other kids do, but his dad is out. He usually is, and that’s not his fault, Hop knows, but--
But, anyway.
He calls Leon, and when his brother picks up, all he can do is blather on until he starts to cry. Leon gently reassures him, his voice calm and soft, trying to urge words out of him. But Hop can’t, and so Leon is silent for a long time, before promising he’ll be home soon.
Hop feels bad for making him abandon whatever he’s doing, but he needs to talk. He needs his big brother.
Leon shows up a couple hours later, looking rumpled and tired, though he doesn’t say anything about that. Their mum scolds him for not calling ahead, and Hop realizes he probably should have said something. Leon casts a quick glance his way, but doesn’t say anything, instead offering a simple apology. He politely declines all offers of food, stating that he needs to talk to Hop about something.
Hop pushes Leon from behind, and he’s not actually strong enough to move him, he knows, but Leon pretends he’s being pushed, fakes a stumble. “You’re getting strong there, Hop.” Hop blows a raspberry at him. When Leon is safely in Hop’s room, Hop closes the door and sits down on his bed.
“Leon, I have a big- big problem.”
Leon drops back onto the bed, bouncing Hop slightly, which would normally make him giggle a little, but not right now. Right now is serious.
Hop takes a deep breath and closes his eyes. In his mind, he can see the smiling faces of his two best friends. He can hear the way Gloria’s voice pitches up when she’s excited. He can hear the way Victor snorts when he laughs. He can see Victor’s snaggletooth, and the bend in Gloria’s nose.
“I--” Hop sticks up two fingers and pushes them close to Leon’s face, “have two crushes.”
Leon smiles, “Why don’t you tell me about them?” his voice is soft, and he shifts closer, wrapping his arm around his brother’s shoulder and giving it a reassuring squeeze.
Hop swallows, but he decides to talk. How can he not? He feels like there’s a million thoughts swirling around inside of him, all screaming to be let out.
“You know how you have a crush on Raihan?” he asks, the words coming out rough, but Hop tells himself he won’t cry.
Leon averts his gaze and picks at the charizard-print comforter under them, but for once, he doesn’t deny his crush. “Yeah, I know of it.”
Hop feels nervous, and he doesn’t know why. He knows Lee isn’t gonna be a jerk about his crushes, but still. He fiddles with his hands and looks down. “V-Victor, he almost never smiles, but sometimes he makes jokes, and he does, and it makes me really happy.” Leon is smiling at him. Hop decides that means it’s okay for him to continue, “and there’s Gloria… she’s so funny, and she doesn’t even try to be! She just says things that make me laugh, every single day.” Hop sighs and rolls out of Leon’s grip, before flopping down onto his back and staring up at the ceiling. He closes his eyes and breathes out a long sigh.
He feels the bed shift next to him, and when he opens his eyes, Leon is laying down, lips tugged down in a frown.
“What should I do, Lee?”
Leon laughs, “I’m not a great example. I would say to just tell them, and I mean, I know I’m known for being bold, but--” he shakes his head and sighs. “I still haven’t told Raihan, so.” He offers a wide champion-time smile Hop’s way, “I guess I just think you don’t have to do anything yet. I think it’s super cool that you have so much love, y’know?”
Hop’s eyes open wide. He hadn’t thought of it that way, “Yeah!” he says, his voice pitching up a bit in his excitement. “You’re right, and I mean, we can just be friends for now, right?”
“Right,” Leon says, still staring at the ceiling.
They’re quiet for a while, and then Hop turns on his side, watching Leon as he thinks. “Leon, you should tell Raihan you like him.”
Leon bites his lip, “I’m just worried I’ll weird him out. He’s my best friend.” He pauses again for a moment, and then says, barely above a whisper, “I love him so much.” Hop hadn’t noticed the tears forming at the corners of Leon’s eyes until that point, but a few break free now and run down the sides of Leon’s face, catching on the stubble that’s started growing along his jawline. His brother sniffles and reaches up to brush his eyes.
“Sorry, Hop! I’m just a bit tired, y’know? Gettin’ emotional.”
Hop knows he’s lying, “Yeah, sure- you should get some sleep. Rose will probably want you back early.”
Leon nods. He stands and makes his way towards the door. “Sleep well, Hopster,” he says when he reaches the doorway. Hop can hear him trying to hold more tears back. Hop thinks he’s brave, but he feels worried, too.
When Leon leaves, Hop reflects on the look on his brother’s face when he thinks about Raihan. It’s sort of like when he looks at Hop, or their mum, but different. Hop doesn’t understand the difference, but he thinks that Raihan could hurt Leon, if he wanted, in a way Hop and his mum never could.
Hop hopes he never does.
♦
When it’s the day before Hop’s twelfth birthday, he’s angry. It’s a cool October day, and Leon hasn’t been home for a full day in almost a year. His parents had argued loudly when he didn’t make it home for their Passover seder, when pa’ had, in his words, gone out of his way to come home. He hadn’t even come home for his own birthday.
And so Hop knows there was no way he’ll show up for his little brother’s birthday.
He buries his face into Wooloo’s warm coat and grumbles. “Stupid Lee,” he kicks his feet from underneath his Pokemon’s belly. “Doesn’t even care.”
Wooloo coos and nudges Hop, but he’s set on being angry. He stands and begins to pace his room, arms folded across his chest.
He hears a knock on the front door, but he ignores it in favor of continuing to pace, knitting his eyebrows together in thought. He’s decided he’s going to call Leon, and he’s gonna give him a piece of his mind. He has to know that he’s hurting mum, and pa’, and him, and everyone . He sits down at his desk and fishes a blank piece of paper out from one of his notebooks, gripping a pencil in his hand and tapping the tip on the dark wood of his desk.
Dear Leon,
No, no that’s wrong.
Leon,
Everyone’s angry and sad all the time. It’s all your fault, and you don’t even know. Every time you come home, you smile wide like nothing’s wrong! Like you don’t notice! I bet you won’t even call on my Birthday.
“Hopster?”
Hop’s head jerks up from where he’s hunched over his desk, and for a moment he thinks he must have imagined it, because there’s no way that he really heard his brother just now. Slowly, he turns his head to look over his shoulder.
Leon stands in the entryway, hair in disarray, dark circles under his eyes, a lazy smile on his face, not at all like his usual wide grin. “Hey,” he says, waving his hand.
He looks terrible. “You look like you fell out of the taxi,” Hop says. Leon laughs and lifts his cap, running his fingers through his hair in what Hop thinks is an attempt to make it less messy, which doesn’t really work. Hop looks down at his feet, where Wooloo is staring up at him with big, wide eyes. He wants to run up and toss himself into his brother’s arms, but he’s mad. He’s ready to be mad.
“I’ve just had some long nights, doing some things for Rose,” Leon flings his arms wide, “but I got the days off! I’m here for three full days.”
Hop blinks, his chest tightening. Three days? “Why?”
“What do you think? For my favorite brother’s birthday.”
Hop stares at him. He can’t be mad at Leon.
He remembers his dad yelling. He remembers his mum crying. He remembers staying up late, looking out the window, feeling like he’ll never, ever be as important as his brother.
But he looks at Leon and he can’t be mad.
Hop stands up and runs across the room. He leaps into Leon’s arms and feels himself being swung around. He hears Wooloo bleet, hears her hooves tapping on the worn wood flooring. When Leon puts him down, both of their smiles are wide, dimpling under their eyes.
Leon reaches into his pocket and pulls something green and small out, then hands it to Hop. Hop stares at it. A Grookey plush, he thinks. It’s sort of wonky - the eyes aren’t level, the colors are a bit wrong, and it’s patchy. The backside is a different shade of green than the rest of the body. He wonders where he got this thing, and for a moment he’s ready to be annoyed again.
“I made it- I know it’s not great, but mum said he’s your favorite right now, so,” Leon shrugs, “I hope you like it, anyway.”
Tears prickle at the corners of Hop’s eyes. He pulls the Grookey to his chest and sniffles. “It’s great,” he rasps. The fabric is hard and scratchy under his chin, but he doesn’t care. “When you didn’t come home for any holidays, I didn’t think you’d come home for this.”
He feels Leon grab his shoulders, and when he looks up, his brother’s brows are furrowed. “Hop, you’re one of my best friends, one of my favorite people. I don’t miss Raihan’s birthday, I don’t miss Sonia’s, and I don’t miss yours.” He pulls back, fiddling with the hem of his shirt with one hand. “I try to come around more but, well, those three at least.”
Hop’s throat tightens further as he nods. He wants to apologize to Leon, for even thinking about hating him, but he doesn’t. He knows that would just make everything weird. He reaches up, wrapping his arms under Leon’s armpits, since he can’t reach higher, and squeezes tight. He feels his brother laugh against his ear.
He misses Leon so much sometimes. It would be easier just to hate him, but Hop’s glad he doesn’t.
♦
Dad’s dead . Hop’s thirteen. It’s a month after his birthday. Dad didn’t come. Now they’re burying him. Leon is there, with Raihan. When he got there, he said he’d needed him for emotional support.
He sat on one side of his brother, eyes cast low, looking at the damp grass near his feet as the proceedings continued.
“Isn’t your family enough support?” their mum’s voice echoes in Hop’s head. It’s hoarse from tears, and she’s angry. Hop thought she was just mourning, that she wasn’t not actually mad that Leon brought Raihan.
Raihan offered to leave, but Leon begged him to stay. This only spurred their mum’s anger further. She was more upset than Hop had ever seen her, and he didn’t get it. What was so bad about having Raihan around?
Maybe nothing. Sometimes adult emotions didn’t make sense. Hop pulled his Grookey plush closer. His Wooloo let out a sad little bleat by the foot of his bed, so he leaned over to scratch her ears. She, in turn, reached up to nose away the tears that were running down his cheeks.
“ You haven’t seen your father in two years,” His mother had continued, her voice rising, and Hop had flinched from where he’d been sitting in his room. It wasn’t Leon’s fault. That’s what mum always said.
“You think I wanted that?” Leon’s voice had cracked when he spoke, followed by a loud, broken sob. Hop heard his brother’s feet thud hard against the stairs, heard him slam against the wall. Hop peered out his door in time to hee Leon slump against the door of his bedroom and sob into his hands. His broad shoulders shook violently, gasps cutting through his tears. Raihan emerged a moment later to rest his hands gently on Leon’s hips.
Raihan had leaned in and whispered something to Leon. Had pressed his face to the top of his head. Leon sniffled and leaned forward to wrap his arms around the taller man. Hop had closed his door, then. He felt like he shouldn’t look.
There’s movement, pulling Hop from his memories. His mother is crying again, her sobs the only sound aside from the shifting of people and the light patter of rain on the stone around them. Hop thinks dad would have said it was a nice day. He always liked when it rained just a bit. A few feet away, his grandparents look on with glassy eyes.
He hears Leon sniffle, and looks up to see him pressing his face into Raihan’s shoulder.
Raihan looks at Leon, and Hop recognizes the look. It’s that same look that Leon gets whenever he talks about Raihan. The one that’s like how Leon looks at him and mum, but different. Hop feels just a bit lighter. He still doesn’t quite get what it means, but he thinks Raihan isn’t gonna hurt Leon.
The ceremony ends, and people begin to disperse. Hop feels his mum rest her hand on his shoulder, and he looks over at Leon hopefully, but his brother has found his way closer to Raihan, face pressed to the tall man’s chest. Raihan, his chin resting on Leon’s head, shoots Hop a weary smile.
“We’ll meet you back there, Hop.”
Hop nods and follows behind his mum. She doesn’t speak, and so Hop tries to say something. “You’re not actually upset with Lee, are you?”
His mum lets out a shuddering sigh, but says nothing. Hop picks at the skin on his fingers, desperate for a plush to hold, or Wooloo’s fur to pet, just to do something that isn’t walking in the deafening silence, feeling entirely too much all at once. The weirdest thing is, he doesn’t know if he’s sad, exactly. He didn’t know his dad, not really. He saw him less than he saw Leon, but he feels like he should be more sad. He doesn’t know how to feel the right way. He doesn’t know how to deal with Leon being vulnerable. He really, really, doesn’t know how to help his mum. He doesn’t want to consider that he might not be able to.
When they arrive home, mum orders pizza. She doesn’t eat any herself, instead excusing herself to her room. His grandparents sit silently together on the living room couch. Hop sits at the kitchen island and nibbles at a slice. Leon and Raihan return shortly after food arrives, and Raihan gently coaxes Leon into eating a bit, his long fingers carding through his brother’s hair. At one point, he whispers something to Leon that actually makes him laugh.
After dinner, Leon retires to his room, so Hop grabs Raihan by the wrist. Raihan blinks down (really, down- Hop’s never seen anyone so tall). “I’ll be up in a minute, Lee!”
Hop lets go and folds his arms across his chest, meeting Raihan’s eyes in what he hopes is an intimidating glare. “Raihan, do you love my brother?”
Raihan’s eyes widen, his mouth opening then closing wordlessly several times before he produces, “Is it really that obvious?”
Hop shrugs. He doesn’t know how adults feel, really, he just wants his brother to be happy. “He loves you, and,” he balls his hands into fists, “and you aren’t allowed to hurt him.”
Raihan grins ear-to-ear for a moment, “He does?” then his face drops again. He turns towards the stairs. “I’ll keep that in mind. You’re a good brother, Hop. Lee talks about you all the time.”
Hop lets him go then. Raihan, with his stupidly long legs, takes the steps three at a time. Hop follows behind, slower, taking a moment to pack the leftover pizza up and put it in the fridge. When he reaches the top of the stairs, he peaks into Leon’s room. His brother is looking at Raihan, who has his back to Hop. Leon’s eyes are wide, his lips slightly parted. He reaches up and presses his hand to Raihan’s cheek. The taller man leans into it. Finally, Leon closes the distance between them and--
Well, Hop still can’t watch kissing scenes in movies without covering his eyes, so he looks away, but he assumes it’s pretty darn romantic.
Hop lays in his bed and looks up at his ceiling. He doesn’t let himself think about the events of the day. He stays strong. He doesn’t cry.
♦
When Hop is fourteen, he decides puberty sucks. People have started commenting on how he looks, no matter how many times he says it’s none of their business. When he calls Leon to talk about, swamped in one of his brother’s massive hoodies, because looking like a blob is better than looking like he has a body, his brother pauses and says he’s on his way.
Hop collapses back onto his bed and pulls up his messaging app, tossing a few texts into the small group chat consisting of himself, Gloria, and Victor. The two of them are arguing about who’s gonna beat up who for him. He smiles at his phone and lets out a hum. At least he has them.
Victor sends a heart emoji at the end of one of his messages, and Hop thinks he might sink into his worn Charizard blanket and never return. He wonders if this is how Leon used to feel about Raihan, before they were snogging on the regular (Leon told him very explicitly, while fumbling over his words, not to call it that, so Hop cheerily continued to). Maybe he’d ask, when he showed up. Hop turned his head to look at the rapidly darkening sky outside his window.
A flash of orange shoots by, and Hop bolts upright. He sends a quick message to the chat, telling them Leon is home, and just as he reads the frantic series of question marks that Gloria sent, Leon is poking his head into his room. He meets his brother’s eyes and grins, nice and wide. Not his “champion Leon” smile, exactly. It’s smaller, but his cheeks still dimple, and his eyes shine bright.
Leon jumps onto the bed- jumps. Hop is thrown a couple inches in the air by the impact. He lets out a yelp and scrambles against the sheets, scowling as Leon barks a laugh.
Leon pulls his sachle over his shoulder, then digs through it before pulling out what looks like a black tank top. His smile softens as he looks down at it. “This was my first binder,” he says, flipping it over in his hands. “I wore it too much and bruised my ribs, so, uh, don’t be me, but,” he smiles. “It really helped me when I was first dealing with this stuff, so if we get your measurements, we can order you one.” Leon looks him over, “you’ll have to take off the sweater, though.”
Hop is still stuck on the item Leon is holding. A binder? He’d heard of them before- read about them online, heard mum mention them, but somehow, the concept of him having one had flown right over his head.
Hop nods. He doesn’t love the idea of getting measured, but if it’s for this… well, he’ll go through with it.
As the two of them go through the motions, they update each other. They’re good at that- talking in what little time they have together. Leon still rarely stays full nights. He learns that Leon recently got in trouble because he overslept at Raihan’s, which leads to Hop pestering him about what he was doing there overnight, which Leon waves off.
Hop, in turn, updates him on his crushes, that they are still there, yes, and he still doesn’t know what to do about it.
Leon asks how mum is. Hop says she talks about him a lot. Leon doesn’t have a response for that.
When they’re done measuring, Leon opens up a website on his phone. His background, Hop notes, is a selfie of him and Raihan. They look like they’ve just woken up, Leon laying against Raihan’s shoulder with half-lidded, sleepy eyes, as if he might fall back asleep at any moment. Hop, of course, dishes out the appropriate amount of teasing. A little less than usual, even, since Leon is doing him a favor.
“You love him.” Hop says.
“I do, indeed, love my boyfriend,” Leon hums, though Hop can tell from his furrowed brow that he’s feeling a bit flustered.
Afterwards, Leon sighs and sits back on his hands. “I have to go back to Wyndon,” he says, then, pitching his voice up, “I don’t wanna go back to Wyndon.”
Hop snorts, “Why? Cos you wanna go to Hammerlock?”
Leon opens his eyes wide, lips parted in a faux gasp. He brings his palm to his chest, as if scandalized, “And what are you implying, my dear, sweet brother? That I might shirk my duties in favor of a handsome, tall, talented--”
“Stoooooop, Lee!” Hop groans, a wide grin betraying the fact that he isn’t actually that grossed out. He can actually watch kiss scenes these days, after all.
Leon shakes his head. “I wish I could stay longer,” he whispers. Then he stands, reaching his arms over his head to pop his joints. “I’ll see you soon, Hopster. Text me when your binder arrives.” Then he’s out the door.
Mum doesn’t even know he came. It’s a weird routine their family has. Sometimes, Hop wonders how exactly it affects Leon.
♦
Hop is fifteen. His mum made him wait longer (unfairly longer!) to leave, because of everything with Lee, but finally, finally , he’s allowed to leave on a journey. His Grookey sits on his bed, eyeing his plush doppelganger with hackles raised.
“Calm down, Bud,” Hop says, reaching behind the Grookey’s ears to give it a light scratch. It cooes and looks out the window, towards Victor and Gloria’s house.
“Scorbunny is safe with Victor,” Hop says. He hears a rattling above them then, and looks up towards the ceiling, stepping towards the wall as if it might give in at any moment. There’s some light pattering like… someone’s on the roof?
“A thief,” he whispers, clenching his fists. Grookey bristles and shakes its stick towards the ceiling. Wooloo, for her part, opens one eye before curling up in a tighter ball. Whatever, Hop and Grookey can deal with a thief alone. Slowly, doing his best not to so much as let the floorboards creak, Hop approaches the window. He undoes the latch and pries it open, squinting as cold air bites at his nose and eyes. He leans out halfway and turns, peering upward. If he stands on the window cill, he should be able to reach the roof.
Leon would tell him not to be reckless, but he wants to be brave. Like him.
Grookey clambers onto his shoulder and leaps onto the roof. If he can do it , Hop thinks, so can I . He pulls himself further out, toes gripping the edge of the window for balance as he precariously turns the rest of his body. He takes a deep breath and reaches upward. The roof tiles are almost icy to the touch. He uses the top of the window as leverage to hoist himself up higher, until his upper-body is laying on the slanted roof, and he considers that maybe he should have taken off his binder first.
Too late now!
Hop takes a deep breath before pushing off with his back feet, lurching him safely onto the roof. He slumps for a moment, allowing his body to relax, then he pushes himself to his feet.
“C’mon,” he whispers to Grookey. The two of them inch along the roof, keeping low. Hop’s toes are freezing . After a minute of sneaking, Hop hears a voice.
“--Gloria didn’t even want a starter, she insisted on getting a route one Pokemon.”
Leon?
“Weird, but I guess that’s fine.”
Raihan ?
Forgoing sneaking, Hop walks up behind Leon, his steps easily audible in the quiet night. Raihan, over the phone, notices him first. The two of them are video calling… on the roof? Hop sits down next to Leon, who’s looking at him as if he’s just sprouted wings.
“How’d you get up here?”
“How’d you?”
“Charizard.”
Oh. That does make sense. Hop clears his throat. “I climbed.”
Leon’s eyes pop wide, “You could’ve gotten hurt!” Hop gives himself a mental point for predicting that reaction. Raihan snorts in the background, earning him a glare.
“Oh, come off it, Lee. You did that kinda stuff all the time.”
Hop grins wide at Raihan, who seems to have had a point, because Leon says nothing. “Well, anyway, as I was saying, I’ll be training the leftover Sobble myself.”
Raihan hums, and Hop notices for the first time that he appears to be in his pyjamas, lounging back in his bed. Hop flushes. “Sorry for interrupting you guys.”
Leon reaches over and rests an arm along Hop’s shoulders. He pulls him in close as Raihan replies, “No worries. We were just havin’ our-” he yawns, “goodnight call.”
Leon snorts, “You better get your beauty sleep, love. You should be in Motostoke for tomorrow at noon.”
Raihan hums, “I’ll see you tomorrow evening, then?”
Leon’s golden eyes are warm, like a hearth, nurturing and calm. “You will. I love you, Rai.”
“Love you Lee,” Raihan says with a lazy, lopsided grin, showing off his prominent canines, and then the video ends. As soon as Raihan vanishes off screen, Leon’s expression darkens.
“Leon?” Hop asks, leaning forward, “is something wrong?” Between them, Grookey lets out a little rumble.
Leon shakes his head. He scratches behind Grookey’s ears, “I just hope your journey goes well is all.” He pauses for a moment, picking at one of the roof tiles, “I wish I’d been around to teach you more.”
Hop looks at Leon. Teach him? He wants to tell Leon that he’s his brother, not his mum. And besides, he’s the most amazing role model anyone could ever have! He’s the Champion for goodness’ sake!
“Just don’t push yourself too much, alright? Just have fun.” Leon rises to his feet and, after a moment’s hesitation, strikes his signature pose, “have a champion time!”
Hop snorts, then full-on laughs. Leon doubles over, his own laughter raking through his body. He slumps onto his knees with the force of it.
Hop smiles over at his brother.
He hopes he’ll make him proud. He hopes he’ll be half the brother that Leon was to him.