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When she was first told what had happened to her master, to Skyguy, she hadn’t wanted to believe it. She couldn’t believe that Master Skywalker, her big brother, would ever do what Master Obi-Wan is telling her that he did. The man Ahsoka had known would never have killed children, not in their homes. He never would have joined the Sith, or killed Padmé, or even tried to kill Obi-Wan, no matter how strained their relationship got. He never would have allowed for the enslavement of the 501st - his men, their men, the men they had marched into war with, mourned with and fought beside.
But Obi-Wan’s expression doesn’t change, and Ahsoka’s entire world spins on its axis, because that means that everything Darth Vader has done, was done by Anakin Skywalker, and she has to continue with her life after learning this because the galaxy is burning around them and people are suffering. Families are being torn apart, species being wiped out, children are dying, because of the Empire.
Because of Darth Vader.
Because of Skyguy.
Ahsoka pushes this away, compartmentalizes it, because if she thinks about it too much, Ahsoka knows that she’ll fall apart. But she can’t ignore it anymore, because she’s actually encountered him now; she sensed him, and he sensed her. She saw him.
His mind is different now, stained and tattered and absolutely drenched in oily Darkness - his mere presence reeks of death and dread. But, underneath the flames and shadows, she can still sense him; she can still feel Anakin, as poisoned as he has become. It makes her feel small, like air is being stolen from her lungs and like nothing will be right in the world ever again, and she flees back to The Temple, dragging the Spectres with her.
The cruiser is in the middle of the sleep cycle when they arrive, and Ahsoka makes a beeline for the rooms she shares with Rex. He’s dead asleep when she walks in, his large form curled under their blankets, oddly childlike despite his age, and Ahsoka’s always found it charming and endearing about him. He’d always seemed so rigid when he slept during the war, but now, on The Temple, he relaxed enough to turn into the giant teddy bear Ahsoka had always known he was under all his gruff Captain demeanor.
But Rex has always been and will always be a light sleeper, and her arrival has him uncurling himself and sitting up, blankets sliding off his bare chest as he scratches at his beard and stares at her in the dim light of their room. “Soka?” His voice is gruff with sleep, and she can feel his worried eyes on her as she shucks off her armour, letting the reinforced pieces fall to the floor in an unorganized heap. “Cyar'ika? What’s wrong?” The bed creaks, the sheets rustling, and Ahsoka turns around to meet Rex’s honey brown eyes as he stands before her, wearing nothing but loose sleeping pants.
She can already feel the angry tension in her shoulders draining away as the warmth of his hands seeps through the fabric where they rest on her hips, and she drags her fingers across the tight muscles in his stomach, enjoying the little noise he releases and the contrast of her orange skin against his brown.
“We had a run in with Vader.” She says quietly, leaning forward to nip at his collarbone and shoulders, letting her hands drop to tease the top of his pants, and he lets out a shuddering breath, fingers clenching against her hips.
“Are you alright?” Despite his obvious arousal at her actions, his voice still manages to convey his worry, and Ahsoka pulls away enough to admire the little indents her teeth left along his broad shoulders.
“He didn’t even touch me, Rexster.” She soothes, and it’s true; but it doesn’t stop her from feeling the gaping wound in her heart from making itself known. He never physically hurt her, but he did hurt her, and it makes her feel like any semblance of control she has over her life is slipping from her fingers. “Please, Rex, I don’t want to think about it.” Her hands dip below his pants, and he shivers against her, muscles tightening as he gasps out a faint growl.
“We’ll talk about it later.” He groans, hands trailing towards her shirt, and she pulls away long enough to let him pull it off of her and toss it to the ground.
“Later.” She agrees, herding him back towards the bed, shoving him down onto it to toe off her boots and kick them away before sliding out of her leggings as Rex wrestles himself out of his pants. Ashoka prowls forward, perching just above his lap and catching his hands before they can guide themselves back to her now bare hips, “No, Rex.” She teases, baring her fangs at him playfully as she shoves him even further onto the bed, and she pins his hands above his head. “I’m in charge tonight, Captain.”
He growls, hips bucking reflexively, amber eyes flashing, “You’re a terror, Commander.”
“I could always tie you down if you’d prefer to be cheeky, Rex.” Ahsoka purrs, sliding towards him just enough to let him grind against her lower stomach, and she bites at the hollow of his throat in the way she knows drives her lover crazy. He whines, and Ahsoka chuckles against his pulse, kissing up his neck and peppering open mouthed kisses against his jaw, before reaching his lips. His teeth scrape against her lips, and in revenge, she rolls her hips against his, swallowing the drawn out groan he lets out.
For tonight, Ahsoka wants to feel in control, and Rex lets her. When they finish, they tuck themselves under the new sheets, and Ahsoka basks in the warmth of his arms; she tells him about the mission, about the stubborn pilot they couldn’t lose, and how she had reached out her senses to see who was flying. She tells him how she recognized him, and he her, and eventually, the two lovers drift off to sleep.
She’ll wake before he does, like always, because if Rex can get away with it, he’ll always sleep in. She’ll pick her clothes up off the floor, and put back on her armour, but she’ll hesitate, sending one last look at her lover and choose to leave behind her own gray and red hand plate, and replace them with his beaten white and blues. She’ll leave before he wakes up, liberal use of the Force keeping him asleep, and will join back up with the Spectres for their next mission.
(Rex will wake up long after she’s left, and he’ll find the plating she left for him. He’ll get the resized and wear them proudly, pretending to ignore the knowing looks his vod’e send him in the following days. They’ll keep in touch through holos, neither making mention of the engagement beyond the knowing little smirks they send each other, and eventually the Ghost returns to The Temple.
He’ll wait for her patiently, expecting her to meet him in their rooms after debriefing like she always does, but it won’t be Ahsoka who comes to him. It’s a grim faced Cody, and Rex will crumble into his arms.
The Spectres will return, but Ahsoka won’t.)