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The quarantine was a bit of a bummer. It could've been worse, Logan reasoned, because he at least could work from home and keep busy, and he had never worried too much about getting out and being social. He was extraordinarily lucky to be exactly where he would have wanted to be for such an event, well-stocked, well-paid and comfortable.
Unfortunately the same could not be said for his housemates. There were three of them sharing the place, a three-bedroom apartment at the top of a tall block on the outskirts of the city centre. It was nice enough, paid for by three reasonable wages, and had trees and a little park visible from the windows. Logan mostly worked freelance as an IT specialist of all kinds; Patton was apparently a nanny who worked out of home a lot, he knew thanks to the single swift conversation they'd had when the guy had first moved in, caring for his charges at their own home a few blocks away; and Remus was… Logan actually wasn't sure about him. He was out overnight, coming back early morning to sleep through the day, and didn't seem to have any specific equipment or work clothing that gave any clues about his job.
In any case, with their contrasting hours and jobs the three of them hadn't had much of a chance to chat at any point since moving in, and no one had been the first to take the first step in initiating contact. Everyone just cohabited peacefully and that was perfectly fine, suiting them all well enough. But with the quarantine? Things were already changing fast, and the previously calm, quiet and spacious apartment wasn't going to remain all those things for much longer.
"Oh good morning, Logan!" Patton chirped at 6:00AM on the first Monday morning stuck at home, as Logan dragged himself into the kitchen for his wake up coffee. Logan blinked, staring at what seemed to be most of their food supplies laid out in an enormous breakfast on the kitchen table, everything very neatly arranged and cut into small, bite-sized pieces. "I made breakfast!"
"You, certainly did…" Logan agreed, a little weak with shock. "Aren't we supposed to be conserving food, however?"
Patton blinked at him, his eyes going wide behind his glasses. He clapped a hand over his mouth with a gasp. Logan was surprised his eyes didn't fill with glittery tears, honestly, with the drama of the rest of the display. "Oh gosh, you're right! How could I forget?! Oh I'm so sorry, Logan, I'll go out and replace everything right away, oh no-"
"N-no," Logan said slowly. "No, Patton you're not allowed out. That's the whole point."
"Not allowed out at all?!" Patton replied, aghast, incidentally summoning their third roommate with the commotion. As Logan tried to placate the inconsolable nanny, promising him that that was an exaggeration and he absolutely could go out but it really was better not to unless there was no other option; the mysterious Remus appeared in the kitchen doorway, rumpled from sleep and not wearing anything but a shirt and some novelty Thanksgiving turkey underwear. Boxers, thank goodness, but still covering no way near enough for what was almost appearing in public, considering how little they all knew each other.
At least the intrusion stopped Patton's panic, Logan thought, clearing his throat loudly as Patton stared and turned darker and darker pink in the cheeks. Remus was already piling food into his arms (oh okay, they were quite nice arms actually, maybe Patton had the right idea) and mouth, and he didn't react to Logan's attempt to politely indicate to him that his behaviour was a little inappropriate. He just nodded and winked at a brightly blushing Patton, and carried his hoard away back to his room. Patton just quietly and heavily sat down at the kitchen table and started absentmindedly smearing cream cheese onto a bagel, and after a moment Logan joined him, silently reaching for the toast.
Well. That was. Hopefully not an indication of how things were going to be from now on. Hopefully. Please?
Unfortunately (or fortunately from some angles) Remus continued to not wear many clothes. It was a terrible problem that both Patton and Logan had strangely and somewhat awkwardly bonded over. The first time the nanny had muttered something profane under his breath as their partial-nudist housemate wandered away back to his room after another appearance in search of food, Logan had stared at him with his mouth hanging open, trying to process those words coming from that mouth. Patton had just sighed and rolled his eyes, folding his arms defensively. "Just because I work with children doesn't mean I can't have a good swear now and then, Logan. I mean, you've seen that man's ass!"
Logan had, indeed, seen that man's ass. It just so happened to be one of those more fortunate angles, and Remus still apparently had something against wearing pants.
Bonding over Remus's (admittedly very nice) body notwithstanding; the two of them actually got along pretty well. Perhaps it was being used to not having much of a social life that meant they were very comfortable and happy to just hang out quietly together, with Patton sat down at the coffee table embroidering or working on some fanart he apparently had quite the talent for, and Logan reading on one of the couches nearby. He would've gone so far as to work out in the living area because Patton was fantastic company and great for his motivation, but the effort involved in moving his entire workstation and cables was beyond reason, and the constant risk of being utterly derailed in whatever he was doing by Remus sashaying past sort of outweighed the benefits of having Patton there. Logan still had to actually get his work done in order to earn a living, after all.
And Remus sashayed a lot. At first it had just been once in the morning and evening as he ended and started his day respectively, probably as a result of the long-term night shift pattern, Logan reckoned. But then as Remus continued to be unable to go back into work he evidently started moving his daily pattern around somewhat. Logan would hear him moving around longer after breakfast, and his music or the sound of whatever he was watching on his laptop (Logan didn't particularly want to listen too closely but sometimes it was hard not to, having the room that shared a wall), would stop earlier in the night.
He started to strut around more and more often while they were up and out in the living areas, grabbing snacks or wandering around for a stretch, coming to ask Patton what he was doing and leaning far closer than was necessary as Patton blushed his way through an explanation, stammering whenever Remus complimented his work effusively. He was quite the flirt, was Remus, Logan could tell. The guy full on preened at the way Patton's eyes followed him, and he seemed to take great delight in making the nanny sigh by stretching in just the right way. More than once Patton had pricked his finger with his needle by letting his gaze linger a second too long, or cursed under his breath as he messed up a line on his tablet.
Logan was unaffected of course. Except for the times he had ended up rereading the same page of his book over and over again until Remus was long gone and his brain came back into focus. But those didn't count! They didn't count, Patton, stop laughing.
But there was another issue with Remus; he was increasingly messy the more time he spent at home. Patton was pretty clean, used to tidying up after a pair of rambunctious under-tens, and Logan barely made any mess in the first place, eating what Patton cooked and helping clean the dishes afterwards, sticking to his carefully planned laundry routine and rarely deviating. But Remus was just made of mess. He dropped clothing around the bathroom; he left dishes and mugs around; he seemed to order stuff a lot despite the whole quarantine situation (Logan frequently tutted when yet another poor delivery person showed up) and there were piles of cardboard boxes building up in the entrance to their apartment.
When Remus peeled his sock off and scratched at his foot, one afternoon, Logan narrowed his eyes. When Remus got up, leaving it on the arm of the couch when he left to go to his bedroom, Logan finally decided he'd had enough.
"Remus!" He snapped, striding to his room and standing in the doorway before the door could close. Remus turned around with an innocent blink, opening his mouth to say something with a smirk, but Logan got there first. "Do you mind. We're all having to live in this apartment together and keeping it tidy is important to both me and Patton!"
Remus tilted his head, his eyebrows rising swiftly at the lecture and his smirk dropping in surprise. Patton appeared behind Logan in the hallway, hovering uncertainly. "I reckon Patton can speak for himself, actually," Remus muttered, folding his arms over his chest with what appeared to Logan to be an actual pout. On a grown man, who was clearly in the wrong. Honestly.
"Oh well, yes. I would like it if you could perhaps… just keep your clothes to your room?" Patton asked weakly. "After all, a tidy house is a tidy mind! We'll feel a lot better in a clean environment. And... it is a little icky."
"Fine," Remus sighed. "I'll keep it tidy, no more 'icky'." Logan nodded in satisfaction and turned to leave but Remus, damn him, had to have the last word, voice dripping with innocent earnestness. "You should've said something before if it meant so much to you, guys!"
Patton made a quick excuse Logan away before he could explode, and they both missed the soft sigh behind the door to Remus's room as it closed.
To be fair to Remus, he was very tidy after that. Remarkably so, in fact, just like he had been before the quarantine had taken effect. Not so much in his room, from the glimpses Logan got inside, but certainly in the rest of the apartment. Annoyingly he'd also apparently taken the confrontation as a good enough first interaction to invite himself into hang out time, somehow not sensing the animosity that radiated from Logan anytime they were in the same room.
Sure, it was his apartment too, and he was equally stuck in it, and when he helped out with the cooking it often resulted in exciting and fun recipes, and he had great taste in movies, and he also brought his something or other console out to hook up to the TV so they could play multiplayer games (after another delivery of extra controllers, of course), but. But! Logan was still never not on edge around him. Remus just... rubbed him the wrong way.
Oh god, wrong word choice there.
Patton of course got on famously with their troublemaker within the space of a few days, and started up a fierce and ongoing online Monopoly game that it seemed no one could win. Perhaps it was his experience with children, Logan thought snidely to himself on more than one occasion. He would hear them laughing together and watch Remus's hands creeping lower and lower on Patton's back day by day as they playfully pushed and sat near to each other, until Logan decided to just start spending more time on his work to avoid the inevitable heart attack from how high his blood pressure must be getting. And anyway he'd really let work go, what with spending so much time with Patton instead of on his projects. Just because there was a world crisis going on didn't mean he didn't have rent to pay. If only!
But of course Patton didn't get the memo that this was the best course of action, and quickly grew concerned for Logan's well-being. He instated a nightly dinner for the three of them, that he deviously used his best pleading expression to get Logan to attend, where Remus was just insufferably flirty and Logan ended up increasingly annoyed at being constantly teased. It just wasn't very nice of Remus to taunt him with false flattery and it didn't help that Patton had apparently moved from being equally as flustered as Logan by their hot housemate to being sort of fondly amused, in a way that spoke of... a new intimacy.
It only added to Logan's dislike of his housemate when he walked past Remus's bedroom to see them standing close together in the centre of the room, heads tilted so he couldn't see their faces. He could see other things though, like the way Patton's hands gripped at Remus's waist, and Remus's hand in Patton's hair.
So that just added the cherry on top of the whole perfect box of proof of why Remus sucked, basically. He had not only stolen Logan's precious peaceful friendship with Patton, and lured away all of Patton's soft and warming smiles, but apparently didn't even value them enough to not openly flirt with Logan whenever they were in the same room. Logan wished desperately that he didn't still feel that irritating modicum of attraction to the man, because he really was stellar at flirting and could be incredibly charming, but he resigned himself to burying those feelings along with the hurt at how Patton had chosen Remus over him. Burying them deep, and trying to go back to how things were, before the quarantine.
And if anyone could play polite and distant, it was Logan, poster boy for IT nerds everywhere. Antisocial was basically his speciality.
He hadn't bet on Patton.
Patton was the type of person who really took 'mom friend' to a whole new level, and only partly because his actual literal paid job was to essentially be a stand in parent. When Logan started to pull away again he yanked back, pouting and wheedling and playing really dirty until Logan started coming back out into the living room for reading breaks again, just to stop Patton from bringing him cups of water and snacks every half an hour 'to make sure he was feeling okay'. They both knew well enough that the ulterior motive was to stop Logan from isolating himself and playing the wounded martyr, and damn it if it didn't work. Patton was a master of this game.
"Logan, what do you think of this flower?" Patton would ask if Logan ended up in the kitchen for coffee, drawing him into a conversation about his latest embroidery project.
"Logan! Could you pop the kettle on?" Patton would smile sweetly if Logan got up from the couch, intending to go back to his room at last, easily conning him into bringing two mugs back to the couch and then distracting him again until an hour had gone by and Logan was still sat with them.
"Oh there you are Logan, settle this for me, do these stars look realistic?" Patton would bat his eyelashes if Logan finished a bathroom break, and Logan would just sigh and give in, and Remus would stifle a snicker from his own spot on the couch. Remus had also evidently been coached by Patton because he was noticeably quieter and more reserved whenever Logan had finally tentatively settled in the living room with them. Which was a real improvement, if you asked Logan.
But he still wasn't friends with Remus, and he refused to let that last barrier be breached, even when Remus sneakily tried to join his conversations or get him to pass something at dinner, or tease him about his hair, his clothes, his work... Remus was the worst and Logan could not be convinced otherwise. His plan of hiding away from his housemates had failed because he liked Patton enough to give in just to make him happy, not because Remus was reasonably good company when he was just lounging on the couch and playing some video game with the sound considerately turned down, chipping in here and there and laughing softly at something either Logan or Patton said but not getting in the way. Even so! Logan still heard the sound of footsteps sneaking from Remus's room to Patton's late at night, and Remus still insisted on giving him winks and stupid seductive looks whenever he could, telling him he 'liked his company' and he was 'actually pretty funny who knew' and 'there's no one to dress up for here Logan, why don't you lose the tie?'
"I just don't like him!" Logan hissed to his reflection one day in the bathroom. "He's clearly dating Patton, not that either of them have said a word, and he keeps just flirting all over the place! Patton deserves better! And he's a jerk. I like my tie! I like to maintain professional standards even if he's decided clothes are the first to go in this time of chaos. Ugh!" He glared, yanking the tie in question off angrily and glaring at it. Maybe he'd thought he looked nice dressed up sharply with his tie and hair neatly combed each day, maybe he'd been thinking of the time Patton had complimented the little stars on the navy fabric. Maybe it was none of Remus's business how he dressed!
"Hey, you done?" The very man in question's voice came from the other side of the bathroom door. "I need to pee!"
Logan raised an eyebrow at his reflection, considering it. He was almost petty enough to refuse, but as always was unable not to give in, settling for yanking the door open slightly too hard. Remus, who had apparently been leaning on it for some stupid reason, stumbled inwards a bit, catching his balance on Logan's hips. They blinked at each other, and Logan knew the moment Remus decided to say something cheeky because his eyes glinted and his mouth turned up at the corners. But not today, Satan!
"You say a word and I will tell Patton what a disrespectful boyfriend you are! I mean it!" Logan hissed, shoving Remus's hands off with a glare and waggin a finger in his face.
"I- what the f-"
"Don't you dare flirt with me!"
"Did you say boyfriend?!" Remus said, voice strangled, holding his hands up in the air out of the way.
"Boyfriend?" Patton said from behind them in the hall. "What boyfriend?"
Logan spluttered. "Yours! He's trying to, to seduce me!"
All of their voices rose at once, Logan protesting his disappointment in Remus's inability to be attentive to Patton; Patton trying to weakly protest the label and situation; and Remus protesting his accused infidelity. Louder and louder they got, stood awkwardly half in, half out of the bathroom, until Remus growled and grabbed Logan by the shoulders.
"You're a fucking idiot, Logan!" He snapped. "So I'm going to kiss you now, unless you tell me not to."
What.
Logan's mouth opened and closed, cheeks on fire, like flames on the side of his face. He didn't manage say a word, and Remus nodded decisively to himself, hauling the flustered Logan in for a strangely sweet kiss considering the tension in the air.
It didn't last long, but Logan felt like he'd awoken into a different universe when Remus pulled back again, looking at him carefully. "Well?" He asked. Logan wondered why Remus would sound like he couldn't breathe when clearly he'd stolen all of Logan's air. "Does that compute, I, Lo-bot?"
Logan frowned a little at the nickname, but Remus's expression was slightly nervous and mostly hopeful, not cruel or mean looking. And Patton, when Logan glanced over Remus's shoulder, was holding his hands clasped in front of his mouth, eyes huge and round, bouncing a little with what looked like excited anticipation. "Um. That- Excuse me, I seem to have misunderstood a few things."
"Yeah no kidding," Remus muttered. "Alright, ask your questions science dude."
"You aren't with Patton?"
"Ah well, sort of?" Patton stepped a little closer, lowering his hands to smile at them, hooking his chin over Remus's shoulder. "It's not like, exclusive, that's not really the point. And not your thing, right?" He murmured to Remus, who shook his head, eyes still on Logan.
Okay, add that to the 'known facts' memory banks to add to the equation then. "So you aren't cheating on Patton by flirting with me?"
"No!" Patton and Remus replied at the same time, sounding equally offended.
"Okay! Sorry. But you were actually flirting with me?" Logan checked.
The question received a snort and an eye roll. "I mean, yeah. I thought you were just playing hard to get, you kept ogling me so I figured you were definitely interested. But then you got all huffy, so I tried to cool it a bit and Patton said you might be jealous of us a little bit, but then you kept giving me all these like, looks, so I went back to like, trying to be nice and everything but you still just..." Remus shrugged helplessly.
Right, yes. The glances, the blushing... In his own defence he had mostly written it all off as just anger, but it was fair enough that Remus had interpreted the attention a little differently based on the whole fact that he was unaware Logan thought he was cheating."And... you would like to develop some form of... alternative relationship with myself as well?"
"Yeah!" Patton interrupted, grinning his sweet, bright grin. He slipped a hand past Remus's waist to take Logan's hand and squeeze it. "All three of us, doesn't that sound cool?! I mean, uh, if you want me too, that's okay if not, I can just share this gu-"
"Oh god yes," Logan nearly burst with the words. "I mean, yes! I would- yes. Hm. That would be very pleasing. And intriguing. I wonder how-"
Remus tugged him back in close, cupping his face right there in the bathroom doorway with a grin that turned wry. "Oh Logan. I can show you pleasing. But first I gotta pee guys, genuinely!"
They let Remus escape and close the door, and Patton gently led Logan out to the living room, sitting close beside him and turning to face him.
He cleared his throat softly, and Logan thought the nanny looked really beautiful with his cheeks all softly pink, giving him one of those treasured smiles that wiped all thoughts of logistics and practicalities and regrets away. "So. Not a bad way to pass the quarantine then, you reckon?" Patton murmured, brushing some of Logan's hair back behind his ear and resettling his glasses neatly on his nose for him, before leaning in to steal a kiss of his own.
No, Logan thought a few nights later; sandwiched between his two housemates on the floor, lounging on the cushions they'd laid out for a movie night and warm from their body heat, the way Remus stroked his hair and made constant amusing comments on the movie, and how Patton was cuddling his arm and playing with his fingers, occasionally burying his face into Logan's shoulder to smother his giggles.
Not a bad way at all.