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He’s not sure where it came from, but there’s a moment where Sol pauses what he’s doing, looks up, and thinks to himself
“How did it turn out this way?”
The fork is halfway to his mouth. He brings it back down to rest on the table. Not a moment later, he feels the table thump.
“Sin, please!” Ky chastises the boy, gripping his water glass firmly. “No roughhousing at the table!”
Sheepishly, he releases Ram from a headlock, ruffling his messy hair back as his cheeks redden. “Haha! Sorry, dad! Got a little excited.”
Sol can see the way Ky’s shoulders shift when ‘dad’ hits his ears, and his stern expression softens. “I-I’m sure you didn’t mean to…”
There’s a vivacity in the way Ky smiles. Sol knows Ky like the back of his hand, if not really by choice. He can still recall a fierce glare contrasted with a youthful, boyish complexion as Ky stubbornly chased him down over some Order violation or another, yelling in a squeaky little voice that’s so insistent but still so naive. He’s seen the man’s cheeks hollow and shadowed over, his voice softened to a whisper, always a moment away from cracking as the weight of the world sat on his shoulders.
It’s been years since Sol has seen him like that, but the brightness to his smile and laughter still always manages to take him just a little off-guard. He can still make out fragments of his old self, the same stubbornness when clashing swords, and the gentle, methodical way he processes everything before making a choice, but those have become parts of Ky now, rather than dominating him.
“Hehe! Aww, sometimes I forget how much of a softie you can be…”
He watches Dizzy peck a kiss on Ky’s cheek. At times, it’s still hard to notice that she’s the same creature as him, made to destroy and burn- and no less, his own daughter at that. His own child, and he’d never known until recently. He’d barely been a part of her life. Sol had never gotten to see her grow up.
Though now that he thinks about it, maybe that isn’t right. Her spark and spirit had never faded or flickered, but the confused, frightened young woman he had confronted in the grove was a far cry from the person he was looking at now. Dizzy was confident, mature- even strict when she needed to be. She didn’t crumple and cry at the first sight of conflict. She knew who she was and the things that she wanted, how to be kind and caring but also when it was time to take a stand.
And what she wanted, was a family.
Sol snickers quietly to himself, shaking his head a little. He still doesn’t see the appeal. It’s been almost two centuries, and he still doesn’t feel like he’s old enough for grandkids, but here they are.
And just like kids should be, too. No matter what era, that never changes. Sin’s still stubborn and abrasive, but…
Sol feels his expression slowly drop.
He’s cooled down a lot, too. His childish joy and open-heartedness wasn’t a weakness, it was what made him powerful. Sin learns and understands other people. He’s been making friends. His curiosity drives him higher and higher, and just from the looks of things, Sol can already see the shining star that Sin will become someday, with his father’s can-do attitude and his mother’s natural curiosity. Of course Sol raised him, but Sin has been changing little by little, shedding the things Sol taught him as he grows and becomes his own person.
His throat feels thick. The smell of dinner has begun making him nauseous.
The Valentines feel like family, and they’ve taken that status in stride. It’s funny to imagine that Ramlethal had once been a stoic, cold-voiced thing inches away from destroying the world just because she was told to. Sol watches her smile and laugh, moving to not-so-subtly slip a piece of steak under the table where her Magehound is waiting. There’s something about her laughter that’s so familiar to him, and it makes his insides feel warmer.
And Elphelt, she feels like she was born into it. The last bits of white have been fading from her hair, and the soft pink matches her evening dress. She always dresses up to go out on the town, even if it's just to get groceries. He can still see the way she sends sideways glances towards the men that walk by her, but she’s putting herself first and foremost, learning to love herself before trying to find her other half.
Why does his head hurt? Maybe he just needs a drink-
“Pass the fancy stuff, Ki- I mean, ya majesty!
The clear blue bottle passes right over him to land in a gloved hand. Axl’s invited himself again, at least that’s normal. Even if they told him no, he could always teleport and let himself in. Sol’s never seen him do it on command until recently. He’s so used to the shrill screams and noisy complaints about the man’s various involuntary escapades that seeing him cheerily hop through a wormhole for an occasional friendly chat or visit, always with that calm, confident smile on his face feels so...wrong? Different? He can’t find the word.
The air in the room is almost too thick to breathe. Sol is halfway out of his chair when a hand rests on his arm.
“Freddie, are you alright?”
Aria. God, Aria’s the same as she always was, and at least he has that. She cut the hair back as soon as she was strong enough to handle a pair of scissors without dropping them, and her cleverness hasn’t dulled. She’s taken to the new world with curiosity and hesitant excitement...would she have done that before? The whole extended family thing was hard to explain, but she took it pretty calmly...he’d never seen her like that before...
“‘m fine, Aria. Just swallowed wrong.”
“Oh, okay!”
But she’s still Aria. She still adores him, and he adores her. She’s different now, but still the same. Just like everyone else.
Everyone else but him.
Sol feels something gripping his shirt. He looks down, but all he sees is his own hand.
His mind shifts. The ‘how’ turns into a ‘why.’
Why had it turned out like this, despite everything he’d done to try and push it away?
Dizzy and Ky welcome him with open arms. Sin, Elphelt and Ramlethal are always happy to see him whenever he visits, and ask him for stories. Axl’s always ready to shoot the breeze over a glass of whiskey. Aria still cracks her wry jokes with him and pulls him in for a hug whenever she thinks he could use one.
He doesn’t understand why they accommodate him so much. For all their growth and change, he feels like he’s the same thick-headed asshole he’s always been. What made him so special? What made him so important? Had he just been some part of their lives that they’d clung onto and refused to leave behind with all the rest of their childish traits? He’s just playing along in their lives like he matters to them anymore, when they’ve all moved on and he hasn’t changed at all. They invite him to dinner, and he just has to play along instead of just saying ‘no’ and-
Wait a moment.
Would he have ever done this before?
His mind winds backwards, at least a decade ago. Ky is sixteen again, berating him for letting the horses escape their stable. He was on guard duty, and he hadn’t been assed to make sure the doors locked properly. It was absolutely his fault, but he hadn’t given a shit. He was a half-second away from rolling his eyes and walking away, until Ky grabs him by the edge of his cloak and pulls him back. Something about the steely look in eyes and the firmness in his tone makes him grab a rope and start helping the rest of the camp hunt down the escaped animals, however reluctantly.
He looks over at Dizzy. She’s back in the grove, cowering behind a tree as he stands over Testament’s unconscious body. Fireseal is still warm, and he has every intent to keep the fight going. He hadn’t planned on hesitating, but something about those eyes held such a profound sadness in them that he couldn’t describe. The guilt followed soon after, and he left the battle with his sword cold and bloodless.
Testament visits, on occasion. Even he’s changed over time. His smiles are hesitant and shaky, but they’re real, and every time he comes, it grows wider and brighter.
Sin wasn’t someone he was supposed to take orders from. The kid was under his care, and as far as that was concerned, it meant he called all the shots. Still, somehow, Sin had the guts to do it every now and again, pushing him into things he never would have done himself. Giving the Valentines a chance. Realizing how lonely a bounty hunter’s life was, constantly pushing everyone away. It was the first time in decades the thought had even occurred to him.
‘First round’s on me’ had just been in the heat of the moment, without much thought put into it. Of course Axl had held it to him, though, and they’d collectively drank half the bar’s liquor cabinet before the owner had given them the boot. For all his bitching and moaning about Axl’s presence, he was stubborn, and somehow they had managed to become regular drinking buddies. And every so often, Sol secretly found himself looking forward to their time together, just a little bit.
Aria’s still the same, in that way. She’s always been persistent, trying to pull him further into the world. Frederick the scientist would have been content shutting himself away from the world all his life and sitting at a desk with note paper and beakers for company, but she burst in, filling his dull life with color and light and new experiences he’d shied away from.
Little by little, they’ve chipped through his shell. They’ve changed him. Each of them in their own unique way. His family. Somehow, someone like him has a family, always waiting for him.
Sol snaps out of his thoughts. Ky’s looking at him. “Something wrong, boy-scout?”
There was a time when that nickname would send him into a furious rant, but Ky only laughs. “You’ve barely eaten.”
“Hn? Yeah, guess I just got distracted.”
“Do you not like dinner? Is there something wrong with it?”
Sol finally lifts that piece of steak to his mouth and bites down.
“It’s perfect.” He replies, with the faintest wisp of a smile on his face.