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He stays in the room with Meredith for a long moment, just trying to understand what had happened. Gregg knows that he needs to go to Peter, to comfort him, but first he needs his moment. She’d only told him she was sick a few months ago, how could she be dead now?
Solomon moves to hold his sister’s hand- the other one to the one she’d offered Peter- and starts crying, like he last did when the pair of them had been tiny and Mere had broken his toy car.
This time she’d broken something much more irreplaceable.
Janis is the one to eventually look outside the room. ‘Gregg, where’s Peter?’
Gregg growls. ‘I told that boy to stay put.’
His wife hits him. ‘Now, don’t get mad. Go find him.’ Get mad once he’s safe is unspoken.
So Gregg and Solomon start a quick search of the hospital while Janis lets the nurses know Peter’s run off. It shouldn’t take too long; even with as much time as Peter’s spent in the hospital this last week, he’s only seen a small part of it. There’s nowhere really for him to hide.
They’ll find him.
*********
They don’t find him.
The search extends to the outside of the hospital, frantic cries through the foggy night. The police come after the search has been going on two hours and a terrified Janis makes the call.
At that point everyone is pulled off the search, one by one, to give statements while the police start ‘investigations’ or something. At first they’re talking that he’s run off but when dawn starts to break with no sign of Peter, fears for his safety come alive. The questions intensify. Their homes are searched.
Gregg doesn’t care, he’s just got to go out there and find his missing grandson. He’ll find him, damnit, he’ll find him.
He’s not losing Peter too.
********
Volunteers start joining the search that afternoon; brought from all parts of the county by reports of the tragic disappearance of a kid shortly after his mother’s death. Gregg would be annoyed but it means the police are able to start combing the nearby forest. The more people, the quicker they’ll find his missing boy.
But he’s not allowed to help. The whole family, including Solomon’s wife and little girl, is being kept at home, with an officer while the volunteers search.
‘This is ridiculous.’ He glares at the officer as he paces up and down their living room. ‘We should be out there.’
‘Someone should stay at home, just in case Peter comes back.’ The officer, whose name Gregg hasn’t bothered to remember, moves towards the wall where Janis keeps all the photos of the family. He closely examines last Christmas’ picture of Peter and Mere under the Christmas tree. It was the only recent one they had of the two of them; Meredith had refused to come to any family events for years after the Christmas when Janis had called her...well the Christmas there had been a fight. Peter had been three, Gregg hadn’t seen him at all for three years after that and then barely for the next two.
He is not proud that he saw more of his grandson in the months when his daughter was dying then he had in the five years before that.
‘Where is Peter’s father?’ The officer breaks into his thoughts
It’s not the first time the police had asked this and Gregg groans. ‘We’ve told you, we don’t know! Mere never said who he was...’ And he’d tried to get a name, to go after the bastard who’d left his daughter alone and pregnant without even bothering to give her a ring. But she’d never given it up; he’d heard more about his grandson’s father on her deathbed than he’d ever heard and that had mostly been the ramblings of a dying woman. Insane ramblings of a dying woman.
‘If she didn’t have Peter, most of us wouldn’t have known he existed.’ Solomon added. ‘She really didn’t mention him. Didn’t even give us a name when she was dying.’
‘Could he have come for Peter?’ That’s a new question and Gregg tries not to bristle at the implication.
But before he could answer, little Jane speaks up. ‘Aunty Mere said Pete’s Dad was made of light!’ She sounds extremely happy. ‘She told us that he was gonna come get Pete and Pete promised me he’d take me with them. I wanna see the stars!’ Gregg tries to look like this is new to him, while hiding his shock. Jane hadn’t been in the room with them when Mere...when Mere had said all that. How did she know?
‘Oh Jane.’ Sarah picks up her daughter. ‘I’m sorry officer, you know children.’
He nods. ‘I do. But I do have to ask- Had Meredith ever said Peter’s father was coming for him?’
They all exchange looks before Gregg sighs. ‘Once. Just before she… before Peter disappeared. She told him to stay with me until his Daddy came for him. But Peter never would have gone with anyone, he wouldn’t.’
Janis grabs his shoulders and he lets her pull him into a hug. If he’d just stayed with Peter…
No. He can’t afford to think like that. Not until they find him. Then he can afford the time to be guilty.
They will find him.
********
They don’t find him.
After two weeks, the police call off the search. Gregg tries to continue searching alone but after two days, Solomon comes with him and drags him home before can start a third day. Gregg fights every step of the way; if he just goes out and looks maybe he’ll find Peter...
The days pass slowly but also with extreme speed, melting into one long wait. Two weeks turns into a month, then two. Janis delays Meredith’s funeral as long as possible but that’s not that long at all. They have it without Peter and try to ignore how wrong it feels.
Gregg tries not to feel like he’s failed his little girl but it’s hard when there’s an empty seat beside him, waiting for the boy who should have been there. If he had just stayed with Peter…
The worse part is the wake, people offering condolences for Meredith… and Peter. Gregg just glares at anyone brave enough to say it, while the rest of the family politely ignores it.
Then old Tom Baker offers the stupidest line yet. ‘I’m sorry for your losses Janis. I know it’s hard now, but remember. God has a pla-’
‘No he doesn’t.’ Janis snaps and the room shuts up to watch. ‘I refuse to believe that.’ Tom goes to speak and she raises her voice. ‘I refuse to believe that Godplanned to take my baby girl and her baby away on the same day. I refuse to believe that a good God would even think of doing that to a beautiful boy like Peter. If that’s your God, then you can have him. Because I think he’s a monster.’
She turns on her heels and leaves the room but not before Gregg sees her tears. He gets up with a glare at the room and follows.
He finds his wife outside in the backyard, in that patch of grass by the rose bushes that Meredith and Peter had loved to picnic on when Peter was a toddler- before Meredith had started refusing to come visit. Gregg sits down beside her and waits.
‘I know he’s alive.’ She whispers eventually. ‘He has to be. I said so many horrible things… did so little for him. I was going to make it all up to him.’ She sobs brokenly. ‘I was going to be a better Grandma. The best ever.’
Gregg pulls her into a hug and says nothing. If he had just stayed with Peter… maybe his wife’s heart wouldn’t be broken and she wouldn’t have to bear the pain of a hope that is very slowly dying out. Maybe she would have gotten the chance their stupidity and stubbornness had robbed them of.
If he had just stayed.
********
When the knock on the door comes, five long months later, it’s nearly a relief. But the sight of the well dressed men is enough to break something inside Gregg, even though he doesn’t recognise them.
‘Hello, I’m FBI Agent Harrison and this is-’
‘What’s wrong?’ Gregg cuts in. ‘Something’s happened.’
Agent Harrison sighs. ‘Yes, I’m afraid it has. Can we come in?’
Gregg considers saying no but then Janis comes up behind him. ‘Who is it?’ The hope in her voice is terrifying to Gregg so he sighs and steps aside.
‘The FBI.’
‘Oh.’ She sounds devastated so Gregg grabs her hand and leads her to their couch. The agents follow and take seats in the armchairs across from them.
‘I’m sorry to have to tell you this but another boy, matching your grandson’s description was reported missing two days ago.’ Harrison says, not meeting their eyes. ‘A third boy disappeared a year ago. We’ve been assigned to your case- we think there might be a connection.’
‘Why? Peter just ran off! You’ll find him soon-’ Janis protests.
‘Both boys were taken from a hospital. Just like Peter.’
Taken. The word rings in Gregg’s ears, almost accusingly. It’s the one thing Gregg had never considered, even as hope of finding Peter alive had begun to fade.
‘Did you find the first boy?’ He asks, his words sounding far off, as if he is in a dream.
‘No Sir, we haven’t yet. Please, we need to ask you some questions-’
‘Ask.’ God help him, it’s the last thing he can do. For Peter. If he had just stayed...
*********
A fourth boy disappears, and the media pounces on the case. Peter’s image is based all over the news, along with the faces of three other very similar looking young boys. Camera crews try to interview them when they can, but Gregg points a loaded shotgun at the first one to try to stand on his property to do so.
They leave him alone after that.
********
This time when Gregg opens the door, nearly four and a half years after his grandson disappeared, there is only Agent Harrison standing there. He looks as if he’s not slept in a week but his eyes are wide.
And sad. Something breaks in Gregg’s chest but then, perhaps it’s been broken a while and he’s only just noticed.
‘You found him.’ He whispers and there’s something in Harrison’s face to confirm it. Gregg steps aside to let him in; Janis is with Solomon today, spending time with the grandchild they still have while it’s Solomon’s turn to have her. Gregg doesn’t blame Sarah for leaving; being a Quill since Peter’s… Since Peter has been hard.
Harrison makes himself comfortable on the same armchair he’s sat in a thousand times. ‘We’ve made an arrest yes. They’re combing the property and so far we’ve found the remains of four boys.’ He holds a hand up to stop Gregg’s words. ‘None of whom we think are Peter. I need to show you some pictures; he umm. He kept things.’
The idea of Peter’s things being kept by the monster who...who… well by this monster makes Gregg’s blood boil. Carefully he takes the photos and sets about picking out Peter’s things.
Only there’s nothing there that is definitely Peter’s. A little doll that looks like the ones he always carried yes, but his Walkman isn’t there nor his backpack. Gregg tries bitterly to remember what shirt Peter was wearing but the ones he sees all feel wrong. Harrison still thanks him for his efforts.
It turns out there was still something in his heart capable of breaking.
********
It turns out there’s more left to break when the Prosecuting Attorney tells them that Peter’s m...m...murder will not be added to the list of offences the defendant- a Johnathon Roads- is charged with.
‘We don’t have enough evidence.’ He says, eyes full of sympathy.
‘Roads doesn’t have an alibi-’ Gregg tries to argue, using information Harrison had mentioned.
‘Yes, but that’s all we have on him. Peter matches the description of the other boys but I’m sorry, without physical eviden-’
‘Like his body.’
He nods. ‘If we had found a body, yes. But the property is so large… it could take years to search it even half as well as we would like. I am truly sorry for your loss, but I need to do what is best for the case.’
Janis gets up and leaves but Gregg lingers. ‘Just one thing.’
‘Yes?’
Gregg puts every bit of anger and pain he’s felt in the last five years into his stare. ‘Convict the bastard. If you can’t get my Peter justice, then for the love of God, convict the bastard.’
********
Gregg attends every day of the trial.
So does Solomon, to Gregg’s great surprise.
He asks on the third day, during their morning coffee before going to the trial. Solomon’s answer surprises him.
‘I didn’t stand by Meredith when everything happened… I barely knew Peter and that’s my fault. This is the least I can do...’ Solomon looks down at his cup. ‘It could have been Jane.’
It was Peter. Gregg thinks but does not say. He understands.
********
Roads is found guilty.
It doesn’t help.
********
He would like to say the passing of the years helped; Gregg would love to claim that time has healed the wounds.
But it would be a lie.
They have nothing to bury of Peter; his remains were never found. So, ten years to the day he disappeared, the headstone on Meredith’s grave is swapped out for a new one.
Meredith Quill
Beloved Daughter, Sister and Mother
April 21st, 1960- October 3rd 1988
Peter Quill
Adored Son and Grandson
June 3rd, 1980- October 3rd 1988
May you rest in peace together.
It helps.
Not much, but it helps. Janis leaves fresh flowers there every week, as she’s always done for Meredith, but now she includes a tiny toy car. Gregg doesn’t ever mention that Peter had no interest in toy cars, it’s not worth breaking Janis’ heart over.
He leaves nothing, because there’s nothing he can say or do to make anything right.
********
The year Jane comes bouncing into their home for the annual Christmas together, prattling on about her work as an astrophysicist and aliens being real, Gregg has to leave. He loves his granddaughter, even if she does prefer to use her mother’s maiden name and focuses way too much on her work- just like her father really- but she’s reminding him too much of Meredith’s final moments and he can’t take it.
It’s been twenty years. Dear God.
‘Grandpa?’ Jane calls, not seeing him in the corner by the rose bush. There’s a bench there now- he and Janis can’t always make it down to the ground these days.
‘Over here.’
‘I’m sorry.’ She says as she sits down beside him. ‘I didn’t mean to upset you.’
Gregg sighs. ‘I know. It’s just… you sounded so much like your aunt did right before… I just needed space. Go back in, I’ll be along in a moment.’
Jane gets up but pauses. ‘She used to tell me and Peter stories, when you guys couldn’t hear. All about space and Peter’s Dad-’
‘Jane-’
‘I know, I know. But… she seemed so sure.’ Jane bites her lip. ‘I wanted to be as sure as she was, you know? That’s part of why I went into my field. Just to have that much surety…’ She sighs, then looks at Gregg. ‘And I wonder what would be better- Peter being dead all these years or being with his Dad in space?’
She leaves before he can begin to think of an answer.
********
In the end, Peter finds them.
*******
It’s not the first time they’ve gone to the annual street party, that supposedly celebrates some famous dude who formed the street but is really an excuse for the Thompsons to show off their big backyard and for everyone else to get drunk. It’s a good time every year at least, in that long time between Easter and the 4th of July when there’s no reasons to have a party.
But it is different this year, twenty-seven years- five months, two weeks- after Meredith’s death because for the first time in years, Gregg’s whole family is there.
Well living family.
Jane has taken a week off for the first time in months, having been banned from working for a week by her intern who apparently has a way to enforce her ruling; Solomon is there though heavily distracted by his phone; and even Sarah has managed to come. It almost feels like it did the year before Meredith died, when the seven of them had come and all but dared the neighbours to talk.
Gregg’s helping Fred Thompson grill burgers and listening to them all gossip about that new lot of aliens in New York- the Galaxy’s Guardians or something like that- when there’s a commotion at the side gate. He looks up to see a tall man, in a leather coat trying to push past a bunch of his very upset neighbours.
‘Whoa, guys look. I’m just looking for Gregg Quill? I’m su- I was told he’d be here.’
A couple of people look back at Gregg, who’s looking at the young man suspiciously. ‘Who told you that?’ He calls and the man meets his eyes.
He smiles. ‘Can we go somewhere private and talk? I kinda have something imp-’
‘Son, you got something to say, you say it here.’
That doesn’t go down well. ‘Look, it’s really not something I’m sure you’ll even believe so-’
‘Then get out.’ Reporter. Of course. Though they only usually come round near the anniversary…
His thoughts are interrupted when David Baker grabs the arm of the strange man. The moment he grabs the man’s arm, the man tenses.
‘Dude, let go.’ He warns, something flashing in his eyes.
‘You heard Mr Quill. Leave-’
Now David’s a big man, and everyone knows how he nearly became a pro-wrestler until he decided teaching was more fun. But in a flash of a movement, the strange man has David on his back and is stepping away from him. He lifts his hands instantly into a surrender position but the movement dislodges his coat and someone behind Gregg screams ‘GUN.’ People start scrambling away.
Gregg is frozen for a different reason. For a moment, he could have sworn he saw…
‘Mr Quill? Please, I just wanna talk.’
‘Then why’d you bring a gun?’ Fred roars as he tries to drag Gregg away.
‘Where did you get that?’ Gregg points at the Walkman, now clearly visible on the man’s waist.
The man meets his eyes. ‘My mother gave it to me.’
Something that was broken in Gregg both breaks again and comes together into one piece. ‘Okay then. Let’s go inside.’ There’s something in the man’s eyes, longing combined with delight that increases at Gregg’s words.
‘Gregg!’ Five voices, including Fred’s, Janis’ and Solomon’s, call but he ignores him.
‘My place.’ Gregg adds. ‘You know the way?’
‘It’s been a while. Could you lead?’
********
The rest of his family, bar Sarah, follow. Gregg doesn’t expect anything else from them.
The young man- Peter?- instantly makes his way into the lounge room, taking a seat in the smallest armchair. Gregg and Janis sit on the couch while Jane and Solomon stand behind it, glaring.
‘Who are you?’ Jane’s voice is furious but P-the man looks at her curiously.
‘You’re Thor’s scientist? He’s got a picture-’
‘You know Thor?’ Wait, Thor as in the Norse-dude on the T.V? Gregg eyes his granddaughter.
‘We’ve met. I tend to avoid Asgardians, they’re kinda a bit full of themselves. And really not fond of well, ‘My kind’.’ He relaxes a touch, settling into the chair.
‘That’s not an answer.’ Solomon places a hand on Gregg’s shoulder and squeezes.
‘I know. I don’t think you’ll believe me if I gave you one-’
‘Then why are you here?’
The man shifts then sighs. ‘My name is Peter. Peter Quill. I’m like, thirty-five years old and I’ve spent the last twenty-seven years in space.’ He meets Gregg’s eyes. ‘You’re my Grandpa, Janis Quill is my Grandma and that’s my Uncle Solomon. I’m guessing that’s my cousin Jane but wow have you ch-’
Janis stands and in one fluid move slaps him. ‘How dare you? Pet-’
But Peter stands and grabs her hand. ‘Mom called me Star-Lord. She used to make me mixtapes of her favourite songs. The day she died, I refused to take her hand.’ He looks over at Gregg. ‘You told me to stay put when you dragged me out of her room and I didn’t.’
There’s a shaking sob from Janis before her knees give out. Peter catches her, in one fast motion and helps her back to the couch. Before he can move away, she grabs his head and stares.
‘You have Meredith’s eyes.’
‘I do?’ He looks down. ‘I’d… I’ve… there were no pictures. Of Mom. With me.’
Gregg thinks about grabbing Peter, pulling him into a hug but he can’t move right now. It’s been so long since he’d even hoped that Peter was alive that to see him now… well if it wasn’t for his son’s tight grip on his shoulder, Gregg would think this was a dream.
‘Where were you?’ Solomon asks breathlessly. ‘We looked and looked but we couldn’t find yo-’
‘Uh, I said? I was in space-’
‘Oh not that again.’ Gregg’s surprised at how angry Solomon sounds but then again, it was his daughter who’s been obsessed with the alien thing for nearly the last three decades. ‘Look you have to-’
He trails off because Peter has risen and tapped something behind his ear. In a moment, his face is covered by a mask with glowing red eyes- familiar somehow though Gregg can’t recall where from. Peter pulls two guns and points them at the floor before tilting his head and staring them down.
It’s a frightening image and extremely alien looking.
‘...that proves nothing.’ Solomon continues with a lot less confidence.
‘Really?’ Peter hosters the guns and retracts the mask. ‘That had half of New York running for cover and your boyfriend-’ Jane grumbles ‘not my boyfriend’ but is ignored by Peter, ‘tried to stick a hammer through me for it.’
Gregg finally manages to speak. ‘Mere was right? Your Daddy came that night?’
It’s Peter’s turn to look sheepish. ‘No? I kinda got abducted by well, the kind of aliens that do alien abductions. Oh no!’ He adds after seeing the looks on their faces. ‘It was okay! I managed to become part of their crew and well, they didn’t eat me though I think that was just a threat-’
‘So your father isn’t an alien?’ And for a moment Jane sounds like the disappointed little girl she’d been when someone had finally explained to her that Peter hadn’t gone with his Daddy, and wasn’t coming back to get her to show her the stars.
‘Oh he is. Asshole just hasn’t shown his face yet.’ Peter shrugs. ‘It’s a big galaxy though, I’ll find him eventually.’
Everyone stares at Peter for a long moment. ‘What?’ He rolls his eyes. ‘Oh come on, this is going to weird you out? I forgot how backwards Terran’s were-’
‘Terrans?’
‘Humans. Galaxy doesn’t use our term for ourselves, it’s all fancy.’ Peter looks away and notices the television in the corner. ‘Oh wow, that’s new!’ Gregg hasn’t the heart to say it’s nearly ten years old now. ‘Stark has all these viewscreen and it’s just like being in space. But this! It’s so cool.’
‘You were on it, weren’t you?’ Gregg finally makes the connection. ‘Those Galaxy Guardians-’
‘Guardians of the Galaxy.’
‘-that was you?’
He nods. ‘That was me. I can… if you want, I can take you to meet them? It’s only a short flight and I have the Milano right here.’
‘I would love to meet your friends.’ Janis takes a deep breath and stands up. ‘Just let me get my coat.’ Her acceptance tells everyone else that they’d better accept or face her wrath so Gregg finds himself rising too.
‘Can we stop somewhere first?’ Peter asks in a small voice.
********
‘It has my name on it.’
‘We thought you were dead too.’ Gregg shrugs. Jane had elected to stay in the Milano- an actual spaceship that belonged to Peter- to study it and her father had stayed with her, leaving only Peter, Gregg and Janis to walk to Meredith’s grave.
‘I know but it’s so weird. That’s my name on a gravestone.’ Peter ran his hands over it. ‘Right by Mom’s.’
‘We couldn’t think of anywhere else you would want to be.’
He bends down and picks up the small toy car, in a red similar to the coat he’s wearing. He rolls the wheels and smiles. Janis chokes back a sob before turning and walking away. Peter watches her go with a confused look on his face.
‘What did I do?’ He looks at Gregg, looking exactly like he did as a very young boy and it takes all Gregg’s resolve not to follow Janis.
He shakes his head instead. ‘She needs time. We buried you nearly eighteen years ago-’
‘I’m sorry.’ Peter looks down. ‘I should have come back but… well, Earth’s a no-fly zone unless you’re really good and even after I got Milano I guess…’ He trails off and looks down at his mother’s grave instead.
‘I understand.’ Gregg finds himself saying. He’s surprised to realise he does in fact, understand. ‘Peter?’
‘Yes Grandpa?’ Gregg manages not to flinch at the near physical ache that hearing that word in Peter’s voice causes but it’s close.
‘Do you forgive me?’
Peter stands up and turns, grabbing Gregg’s shoulders. He stares Gregg down. ‘There’s nothing to forgive.’
Gregg smiles. Peter returns it hesitantly before turning back to the grave. Gregg moves away, to give him some privacy.
After all, there are times one needs to leave your grandchildren alone. Gregg thinks that, after twenty-seven years, he’s finally figured out which times are which.
Maybe he'd had it right all along.