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Katsuki is absolutely sure of three things in life.
- He’s going to be a goddamn Hero, a good one. That has not changed in the last three years since he started high school. His determination has never dimmed, his fire has stayed lit. He’s going to be a Hero. Damn everyone else. He’s going to be the best Hero.
- The world has it out for him, like he has lessons to learn, like he needs to grow. And yeah, ok, he might begrudgingly admit that it might be true. UA has beaten that into him at least. He still calls bullshit though.
- He is not someone to be loved. It’s not something that Katsuki tries to fight. He knows it deep down in his bones. He is not someone others can love. And sure, he knows that his parents love him, but that’s love he knows can’t be given. They have no choice but to love him. No, Katsuki will never have the love that he sees from movies and tv shows or the romance books he absolutely did not have (and even if he did, he absolutely did not steal them from his parents). He is loveless. Always have been. Always will be.
Katsuki keeps those truths deep down in his heart, walks along the earth with them etched into his brain. He knows who he is and he has a pretty good idea what the world is like.
And he is fine with them. He absolutely is.
~
“Will you accept this card as a token of my love?” The girl smirks as she says it. Sure and confident, hip cooked to the side, one hand trailing through long brown hair.
Katsuki stares at her and wonders when this will end.
“No.”
Her eyes flicker but she doesn’t lose her smirk. It only grows. “Pfft, I didn’t mean it anyway, I was just dared to ask. I really wouldn’t ask you out.”
He knows.
By the gods, does he know.
~
It starts with a mistake. He, annoyingly enough, becomes entangled in a love triangle. Not by his own violation, mind you. He’s not that stupid. Some girl has just taken an infatuation with him, a second-year general class student. She had started to wait outside of class for him, at training grounds, at his freaking internship.
Katsuki hated it. It was unnecessary and she was only getting in his way. He told her so, several times, but she had cotton in her ears apparently and refused to listen.
The dimwitted second-year loser who likes her is also apparently an idiot.
He huffs and puffs after Katsuki, never truly getting too close but always making noises nearby. Katsuki, who had one of those damn lessons beaten into him, that maybe he shouldn’t go picking every fight that comes across him, grits his teeth and ignores it.
Which only makes the guy puff up more. Katsuki truly, absolutely does not give a flying fuck but the guy does and the girl is eating it up, sighing about a battle over true love.
Katsuki has no idea how this has become his life, it’s so ridiculous.
Anyways, the mistake comes when the girl comes to him to confess her love (for the third time that week), only this time the guy follows close behind. She hands Katsuki a letter and confesses and then waits for Katsuki to answer.
Katsuki, for his part, sighs. “I don’t know how many times I need to tell you this, but I do not like you. Leave me alone.”
And even though he says something similar to her every time she pulls this, her bottom lip starts to wobble and she stamps her feet. “But I love you!”
Katsuki cocks an eyebrow. “And?”
She looks like she is going to burst into tears, fake as they may be.
Apparently, that is the breaking point for lover boy. He stomps up to them, gets in Katsuki’s face and spits. “Hey, asshole, what is your problem?”
Katsuki squints at him, running through all the reasons why he absolutely should not punch this guy out. #1. It would cause too many problems. #2. He has studying he needs to do, which he can’t if he has to deal with those problems.
#3. These idiots just aren’t freaking worth it.
“Tanaka is pouring out her heart to you and all you can say is leave me alone ? How could you so cruelly reject her?”
“Because I don’t like her?” Katsuki says. He doesn’t get what their fucking problem is. He thought he made this clear already. “Now move, I’m hungry and you’re in my way.”
Katsuki tries to step to the side. The guy steps in front of him. Katsuki raises an eyebrow at him. Oh, so this guy is brave now, huh? He thinks he’s hot shit? Katsuki has stared down villains and not blinked. Does this idiot really think one love-struck fool scares him?
“Well, hotshot, what do you have to say?”
“That I don’t care.” Katsuki tries to move and again, the idiot steps in front of him. Keep calm, keep calm, keep calm. He can’t miss that test tomorrow just because someone wanted to start a fight. He sighs. “Look, you clearly have no brain cells and she’s a self-centered brat. You two are perfect for each other. Why don’t you just grow some balls and ask her out?”
The girl, Tanaka apparently, makes an outraged noise and the extra sputters. “What the fuck did you say? Tanaka is the sweetest, kindest, most giving person I have ever met.”
“Then you clearly haven’t met a lot of people,” Katsuki can’t help snarking. “Just let me fucking walk, you dumbass extra.”
This kid, this fucking kid , actually starts to roll up his sleeves. “You think you’re so badass, don’t you? Think you rule the school, huh? That you can just say whatever you want and we have to take it.”
“That would require me to actually care about you or what you think,” Katsuki says. He can’t believe this kid actually wants to do this. Does he even know how to throw a punch?
By the fighting stance he takes, that would be a no. For fucks sake, how did he even get into UA? Don’t they require fighting courses at all for non-Heroics classes?
“I’m not going to fight you,” he says, because it would just be sad. Even that pervy little grape fuck could probably put up a better fight.
“Why? Too chicken?” the guy sneers, because he has no sense of self-preservation.
Tanaka, determined to be an annoying pest throughout this entire process, stands to the side with hearts in her eyes. “No please,” she says, voice so fake it hurts Katsuki’s ears. She even throws a hand over her forehead, like she’s about to swoon. “Don’t fight over my love. I couldn’t handle that.”
This dipshit eats it up. “Fear not, sweetheart. I am here to defend your honor. This beast, ” he spits it like it’s the first time Katsuki has ever been called that. “Will not make a mockery of you.”
“Your both are making a mockery of yourselves. What the fuck are you even doing? What kind of stance is that?”
The boy flushes. It’s a deep red- actually, a lot redder than what Katsuki assumes is normal. He doesn’t know. He absolutely does not get embarrassed. “Come on,” the shitty extra spits. “Why won’t you fight me?”
Katsuki sighs, staring up at the sky. His patience is nearing its end and no matter how much he knows he shouldn’t, eventually, he’s going to snap. “I would destroy you.”
The guy snorts, getting into an even sloppier stance. “I’m going to beat your ass.”
Katsuki is ten seconds away from saying fuck it, because even if he gets in trouble, it’ll at least be over quicker than trying to talk sense to these fuckwits, when he hears his name being called.
“Bakubro! Hey!”
He half turns, already knowing who it is, because only one idiot calls him something stupid like bro . And yep, there’s the idiot squad walking towards them. Mina and Kyouka are talking to each other, showing each other their phones, no doubt sharing memes like the heathens they are.
Denki, the person who called out to him, waves his arm widely, Hanta shaking his head next to him.
And Eijirou is there, smiling, as if happy to see Katsuki.
Katsuki feels his lips twitch.
And then he takes a step back, letting the wild swing taken at him go past his face. The boy’s mouth goes ‘ o ’, like he’s fucking surprised he missed. The fucking extra.
Eijirou and Denki shout in surprise, drawing the other’s attention. Katsuki ignores them, turning back to the extra.
Red-faced, the extra throws another punch. Katsuki catches it and squeezes. Not at full strength, but enough to get the guy to cry out. “You really have no fucking idea what you are doing, do you?”
The extra grimaces, fear finally entering that thick skull.
Tanaka on the other hand, is still as stupid as ever. “Let him go, you monster.”
Katsuki snorts, shoving the extra backward. Tanaka catches him, staring Katsuki down. The extra shakes his hand.
“Hey, what’s going on here?” Eijirou says, having finally crossed the space between them. He’s panting slightly, after having run all the way over. Denki is right behind him, breathing heavier. Katsuki gives him a critical eye and makes a mental note to add stamina training to their gym hangouts.
“This beast hurt my dear Nakamura,” Tanaka says. She’s back to fake crying, holding the extra close to her chest. Extra looks as if he’s never been happier.
Denki frowns, raising an eyebrow at her. “Um, you know we could see you right? He threw a punch when Katsuki wasn’t looking.”
“Which is very unmanly of you, dude,” Eijirou puts in.
The extra looks shocked by that. Tanaka frowns. “He started it,” she insisted.
Katsuki snorts. “You were the ones that physically refused to let me leave. I didn’t start shit.”
Tanaka doesn’t even look at him, turning fully to stare at Eijirou and Denki. Out of the corner of his eyes, he sees Hanta, Mina, and Kyouka slowly approach.
“He really did start it,” she continues, drawing Katsuki’s attention back to her. “Nakamura was just trying to defend me.”
The extra eagerly nods.
Katsuki scowls, fists clenching. That bitch. He can’t believe she’s trying to manipulate his squad.
Eijirou gives her his usually sunny smile. He places a hand on Katsuki’s shoulder, giving him a squeeze. Katsuki relaxes. “Hey, no one got hurt, right? We should all leave and cool down. Maybe we can talk about it later?”
“No one got hurt?” The extra yelps. “He nearly broke my wrist.”
“Well you did sort of throw a punch at him,” Hanta speaks up, raising an eyebrow at him.
The extra and Tanaka go to protest, when Eijirou steps in again. “Look, it seems like this argument is just going in a circle. Let’s all just walk away. Ok?”
The extra and Tanaka glare at him, clearly unwilling to let this drop. Katsuki can feel his agitation rising, now that these fucks aren’t just disrespecting him, but also his friends.
Luckily, his friends have more patience than him.
“Hey, we’re going to be late for dinner,” Mina pipes up, giving the two of them a wide, clearly fake smile. “We should get going.”
“Plus, we have that homework we have to do,” Kyouka says. She gives Katsuki a look. “You promised to help us.”
Hanta and Eijirou slowly start pulling Katsuki away. He lets them. Denki steps in front of the annoying extras, working his “charm” on the two. Katsuki is slightly disgusted to find that it seems to be working on Tanaka.
Eijirou and Hanta turn him around so he’s no longer facing them. Mina grabs one arm, hanging off it, uncaring that Katsuki growls at her.
He can hear Denki catching up to them. Once he does, he pats Bakugou on the back. “So, you want to tell us what that was about, dude?”
Katsuki growls. “She wanted to confess her love to me-”
“Again?” Mina asks, scrunching up her nose.
“Yeah, again,” he says. He notices that Eijirou’s hand tightens on his shoulder for the briefest moment. He doesn’t know what that is about and before he can ask, Kyouka jumps in.
“Man, she’s dense,” she says, shaking her head.
“Well, I think she finally took the hint,” Hanta says, looking behind him. “She didn’t look too happy with you.”
“She wasn’t. I denied her, the pathetic boy who follows her took offense to me ‘hurting her feelings’ and tried to step in. I tried to step away, because like fuck am I getting in trouble with Aizawa for fighting that douche, I’ll save that for fucks who are worth it like Deku.”
“I rather you didn’t,” Eijirou says, grinning.
Katsuki rolls his eyes, but he finds his lips twitching. “Anyways, you walked in on the rest.”
“Man, that's whack,” Denki says. “But hey, it looks like they got the message now. You should be all good.”
~
It absolutely was not good.
~
Katsuki should have known that a girl who couldn’t take a no wouldn’t be able to take what happened to her standing down.
He should have also paid attention when she first said that she was the Class President.
The first time a girl, this one different than the other, comes up to him with a card, Katsuki very nearly sighs. He doesn’t want to deal with this anymore, doesn’t want a fucking repeat.
But he’s trying . He really is trying to be a better person. He can’t be the kind and gentle person others are but he can be more patient. He can hold in the cursing and the anger, at least till it’s more deserved.
So he sits there and waits, with his most bored looking face, as she goes on and on about how much she had always admired him and that she would love if he returned her affections.
“No,” he says. A voice that sounds suspiciously like Eijirou whispers that he should soften the blow a little . So he adds “I do not feel the same way.”
There. Clear and straight to the point.
The girl blinks at him for a moment and Katsuki braces himself for demands of why or worse. Crying.
Neither happens.
Instead, she starts to laugh. Now it’s Katsuki’s turn to blink. He’s not great at people but he’s pretty sure that isn’t a usual response to rejection.
But he mentally shrugs. If that’s what she needs to do, then whatever. That’s her problem.
He starts to walk away when she steps in front of him. He’s starting to get annoyed by that. She put a hand on her hip, cocked her head at him, and smirks. Waiting.
He just raises an eyebrow at her.
“Did you really think I was asking you out?”
“Yes?” Wasn’t that what she just did?
“You idiot. I wouldn’t ask you out.”
“But...you did?” Katsuki hates being confused. It just makes him agitated.
“Yeah. As a joke. I mean, come on.” She looks him up and down. “Who would seriously ask you out?”
“Oh.” Her smirk widens. Then it falls as he nods. “Yeah, ok. So are we done now or?” Because he really needs to get back to the dorms.
“Wait, wait.” Oh great. There’s more. “Is that it?”
“Yes.” He sidesteps her and starts walking again.
The girl just stares after him.
~
After that, a pattern appears.
Every week, a new person comes up to him to declare their love, only to then laugh in his face. Honestly, Katuski doesn’t get the point. He’s stopped responding to most of them. It’s more annoying than anything.
The only thing he’s glad for is that they catch him when he’s alone. He really doesn’t want to have to explain this to the Squad. No doubt, they would laugh at him, especially Denki, pleased that someone else is having relationship troubles.
He doesn’t need their teasing. So he keeps the “pranks” (he thinks they’re pranks? He doesn’t know, he never pranked anyone before and this isn’t like any of the pranks the Squad likes to pull) to himself and just moves on with his life.
~
Because Life Rule #2 comes in to bite his ass, the “pranks” only stay between him and the lame followers for two months before one of them approach him at lunch. Katsuki tries to glare extra hard, warning him away, but he seems brave, head held high.
The table falls silent as he stands before them, pink card in hand. Before he can even ask, Katsuki says “No”, not even looking up from his food.
The guy doesn’t seem to care, still going with his plan as if he memorized it. “Bakugou Katsuki, I want to express my feelings for you-”
“No.” He can already hear the others giggling, can see Denki nudging a suddenly still Eijirou, can see Hanta and Mina’s smug grins as they lean in closer to listen in.
-”I can’t hold them in any longer,” he says, voice so monotone that he almost looks bored.
“No.”
“-And I would be grateful if you accept this card.”
The Squad is desperate to hold in their laughter now, eyes bulging as they watch like it’s some kind of sports match.
Katsuki pinches the bridge of his nose. “You can move onto the next section now.”
That makes the table confused.
The guy, so casually and with that same neutral look on his face, takes the card and rips it in half. “Just kidding. No one could ever love you. Haha.”
Katsuki looks at him. He looks back, face completely blank. “Are we done?”
“Yeah, whatever. Bye.” Then he heel turns and walks away.
Katsuki, hoping that the Squad can, for once, drop it, goes back to eating, shoving food into his mouth so he doesn’t have to talk.
He can feel the Squad looking at him but fuck them if they think he’s going to say anything first. He stuffs his face and looks at his phone and pretends he isn’t burning up from their looks.
“O...k,” Denki finally says, breaking the silence. “Am I the only one out of the loop or…?”
“No, yeah. I’m just as confused,” Hanta says. He leans on his elbows, getting closer to Katsuki as his eyes glance to where the guy walked off. “What was that ?” He hisses.
Katsuki rolls his eyes. “An annoyance,” he grunts. “Don’t worry about it, they’ll tire themselves out?”
“They’ll..tire...them selves out, dude has this happened before?” Eijirou almost yelps.
Katsuki frowns. This is a lot more yelling than the laughing he expected. He almost prefers laughter. “Yeah, every couple of days. It’s that head bitch putting them up to it, I just know it.” She’s lucky that he has more important things to do, like become the next number one hero, and doesn’t have time to terrorize little shits like her.
“Wait, wait, wait,” Mina says, putting her hands up. “Back up. This has been happening a lot? This exact thing?”
“Uh yeah?” Isn’t that what he just fucking said?
“The whole pretending to confess before ripping the card up? Even that.”
He takes a sip of tea and nods.
Next to him, Eijirou shatters a cup.
They all jump and Katsuki makes an angry sound. “What the fuck did you do that for, you dumbass. You got it everywhere.” He scrambles to help clean it up, napkins.
Eijirou catches his wrist, stopping him and Katsuki looks up to stare into angry red eyes. He finds himself swallowing. “Ei…?”
“How long?”
“Wha-”
The hand squeezes. “Katsuki.” He’s never heard Eijirou’s voice so serious before. “How long have they been doing this?”
“What the fuck does it matter-” another squeeze and Katsuki absolutely does not wince-”Ok, fuck, fine, the past couple of months. Ever since that confrontation with those two bitch extras in the courtyard.”
“Dude,” Mina breaths, eyes wide. “Why didn’t you say anything?”
“Why would I say anything?” Katsuki wonders. “It’s just a dumb prank, who cares?”
“It’s not a prank,” Eijirou is growling now and it just serves to confuse Katsuki more. What did he say that got them so worked up? “They’re harassing you.”
“No,” Katsuki instantly denies. He gives a bitter snort. “Trust me, I know what harassment is. They’re just being dumb.”
The Squad gives each other a look. “Katsuki,” and Katsuki instantly bristles at that trying-not-to-scare-the-feral-cat voice Hanta uses. “You’re not trying to hide this as some sort of punishment for yourself or anything like that, right?”
“Of course not,” Katsuki says. He goes back to glaring at his bowl, suddenly not hungry anymore. “That’s stupid. I just don’t think it’s a big deal.”
“We just…” and now Mina seems to be floundering, “We just want you to know that you don’t have to put up with this.”
“I’m trying not to start a fight, here,” Katsuki says. “Isn’t that what you fucks want?”
“Sure, but there’s a difference between starting unnecessary fights and starting necessary ones. I think this is a necessary fight to start,” Denki says.
Eijirou is silent, still glowering, hand still clasped around Katsuki’s wrist.
“So what, they do some stupid shit and I’m allowed to hit them now? Is that it?” Katsuki asks. He doesn’t know why he’s raising his voice or why he wants to pull away and go back to his room. His stomach is squirming and he doesn’t like it.
“You don’t have to hit them but you don’t need to be so docile in accepting this. They’re harassing you.”
“And I told you, they’re not.”
“He told you that no one would ever love you,” Eijirou says, voice low. His eyes are half-lidded, red flashing like lightning. “And then laughed about it.”
“And?”
The table goes silent. Not the silence that comes with an awkward situation or the silence of a conversation coming to a natural end.
This silence is the tense kind, the kind comes when everyone stills and looks at him and Katsuki squirms because what the fuck. What the fuck is this bullshit?
So he bares his teeth at them, palms crackling. “So what? Like I don’t know that? Like this is news to me? I already accepted it, which means they can’t hurt me, which means I am. Not. Being. Harassed.”
Eijirou stands up and walks away.
Katsuki gaps at him, then turns wide eyes to the others. “What’s his problem?”
“Katsuki, bro,” Denki says, shaking his head. Then he gets up to chase after Eijirou.
Hanta and Mina sit there and watch him, not blinking.
Katsuki doesn’t know how to act. So he gets up to throw his tray away and heads back to his room.
~
Katsuki didn’t get much sleep, too busy staring up at the ceiling, mind-twisting and turning. He has no idea what set the Squad off so much. It’s just a stupid prank, right? He had thought they would spend a week laughing at him and then forget all about it.
Instead, they had just gotten...mad. And, it seems, the most confusing part, like they were mad on his behalf.
Katsuki is familiar with anger in all its forms. Some would say he revels in it, that he basks in being so angry. He knows that it pushes him and he knows that it gets him in trouble.
But usually, it’s people getting angry at him and if this was that sort of anger, he could handle it. But this is different. They’re angry on his behalf and that so rarely happens.
Harassment. He scoffs. First of all, he’s not being harassed. They’re just constantly annoying him. And second of all, it’s not like they’re hurting his feelings. Do they think he’s so weak as to allow words like that to get to him? When he’s been called much worse?
If not, then why is the Squad so upset?
He just can’t figure it out.
When his alarm goes off, he lumbers his way downstairs and into the kitchen. Where he stops and stares.
Most of the rest of the class is there, a rarity since Katsuki is one of the first to wake up, who all turn as he comes in. Katsuki narrows his eyes at them and their forced cheerful greetings. Shit, what the fuck did he do now?
(He absolutely does not care what they think, he never has)
He grunts, moving past them to get some of his breakfast ingredients out. Tired and already annoyed about today, he gets his morning protein shake ready and mentally prepares himself for his run.
The air is still tense, he can feel those eyes following him around the room, even if they dart away whenever he looks.
Katsuki couldn’t handle that even on his best days. He slams his cup to the counter and whips around to glare at them. “Fucking what? ”
“Nothing,” Uraraka says, fucking cheerfully.
He glowers, crossing his arms. “I’m not fucking stupid. I can feel you guys staring. So stop fucking around and just be upfront with me.”
There’s a brief moment where it’s obvious where they all are trying not to look at each other. Katsuki can’t help his eyes drifting to Eijirou, slightly surprised to see the other boy glaring back. He has half a mind to bare his teeth at him but before he can, Yaoyorozu steps forward, clearing her throat.
“Bakugou, it has come to our attention that you have been harassed for the past-”
“You told everyone,” Katsuki whips around to the Squad.
They all square their shoulders and nod, not looking sorry at all.
Iida steps forward as well, adjusting his glasses. “And a good thing too. We of Class 3-A will not accept this kind of behavior. If you are being harassed, you should feel free to come forward.”
“I’m not being fucking harrassed. I told them that.”
“What else did you tell us, Katsuki?” Eijirou growls. Katsuki turns towards him, noting that people have started to edge away from the other boy. “Why don’t you think you’re being harassed?”
“Is this-are you fucking mad that I’m not acting angry about this?”
“Yes. Now, tell them why you think they’re nothing more than an annoyance.”
The entire class is looking back and forth between them.
Katsuki huffs. “It’s a stupid idea anyway. I guess that bitch wants me to feel the same she did when I rejected her but I don’t care about if people pretend to ask me out.”
“ Why? ” He never knew Eijirou’s voice could get so low.
Now it’s Katsuki’s turn to growl. He feels backed into a corner and it has sweat dripping down his back and sparks unintentionally denoting in his hands. “What do you mean, why? You all know me, you all know the reason why . I’m angry, I’m violent, I was fucking chained up in from of billions throwing a tantrum, I was kidnapped because they thought I would make the perfect fucking villain. Why the fuck would anyone want to ask that out?”
There’s that silence again. He feels like he’s being peeled open, dissected for everyone to see. His skin is crawling with the need to run, with the need to fight, with the need to explode. He’s waiting for someone to say something, to give a reason for him to go off.
He’s almost startled by the hand on shoulders. He swings but the explosion is caught by a hardened hand. Eijirou stands over him, looking down at him and Katsuki finds words catching in his throat.
“You are loved,” Eijirou whispers. He squeezes his shoulders, almost shaking him. “You are so fucking loved.”
Katsuki is never speechless. He always has a comeback or a snide comment to throw or he lets his glare do the talking.
Here, he can’t think of a single thing to say.
So he runs.
He runs all the way up to his room and he slams the door and his heart is pounding. He can feel how red his face is and his stomach feels like it’s going to squirm out of his body.
He sits down and he absolutely does not cry.
~
He doesn’t leave his room for the entire day, thankful that it’s the weekend.
No one tries to get him to come out.
No one comes to see him.
~
He isn’t a complete wuss. Monday comes and he leaves for class.
He pauses for a second when he sees Tokoyami, but the bird boy just moves past him, giving his usual greeting. Like nothing happened.
It seems that is the class motto. They greet him, Uraraka asks if he did the homework for their Heroics and Rescuing class, Sato asks him if he wants anything to be added to the weekly shopping list before he sends it out to the teachers to be looked over, and Todoroki asks if they are still on for the next day.
And no one mentions what happened on Friday evening.
Katsuki, who is well versed in bottling up feelings, thinks ok, cool. He can do this. He can pretend nothing happened and just move on.
He has trouble bumping shoulders with Eijirou, with hanging with the Squad at first, still a little raw from the sincere emotions they had put on display.
But they seem to be going with this whole “ignore it and it will go away”. They laugh and hang off him and stay completely away from anything that would lead to some sort of serious conversation.
~
Eijirou acts odd.
He plays around like the Squad, he teases Katsuki, and he sits on his desk to annoy him.
But he seems hesitant with his touches, like he wants there to be more weight to them than the causal stuff they do.
And he keeps looking at Katsuki, long and deep looks. Searching looks. They splay Katsuki open, stare deep into his soul.
Katsuki doesn’ t know what to do and it’s so frustrating.
~
(There are days when he hates Life Rule #3. When he doesn’t want to just accept it.
He looks at Eijirou and his heart seems to pound in his chest, louder than any explosion he could cook up. He looks at Eijirou and he sweats more than the hottest day in the summer.
He looks at Eijirou and he wants . He wants, like he wants to be the best in class. He wants, like he wants to be acknowledged for how powerful he is. He wants, like he wants to be the #1 hero.
And it hurts to know that he will never get that. It hurts more to know that it’s because of who he is, that because deep down, he’s just that unlikable.
That unlovable.
Especially, to someone as happy and loving as Kirishima Eijirou.)
~
A week into everyone pretending he hadn’t had a freak out in the kitchen, another girl tries to corner him to give him a fake letter.
Katsuki has a razor-thin hold on his anger. No matter how far he had come, his newfound patience can only last so long. And so, he’s glaring at her, not even hearing the words, just thinking about what he’s going to do at practice, when someone surprises him by coming up to stand next to him, bumping shoulder to shoulder.
The girl stutters to a stop.
It’s Todoroki, who nods his head in greeting. Bakugou raises an eyebrow, but nods back.
“Bakugou,” he starts, but he doesn’t look at Bakugou. His heterochromatic eyes drill into her and Katsuki could almost see her shaking. “I was wondering if you would like to train with Izuku and I later today?”
Katsuki frowns. “Today’s Tuesday.” Without him knowing about it, he got dragged into a rotation of training partners. Most often, he trains with the Squad (spending most of his nights endurance training with Eijirou), but on Monday’s various classmates come by to train. Wednesday he trains with Urakara, Thursday with Todoroki, and Fridays with Deku. Sunday is the day Todoroki, Deku, and him try to practice combination moves.
Todoroki shifts, Katsuki blinking as he gets closer. “True, but we were so close to getting that one move down.” He tilts his head. “Unless you’re too tired, in which case I understand-”
“Fine, you jackass,” Katsuki says, shoving at him. “But you better prepare yourself, I’m going to fucking run you through the wringer.”
Todoroki smiles. It’s small, a slow lift of his lips. It looks like a twitch to everyone else but Katsuki sees it for the wide smile it is.
He absolutely doesn’t smile back.
The girl seems to be shrinking back the longer the conversation goes on. Eventually, in between the two discussing the best way to work around the fact that if Todoroki got anywhere near Katsuki with his flames they would all go up, she slinks away.
~
Katsuki is waiting outside the gym area changing room for Uraraka when two guys trap him this time. They smile, and even Katsuki has to admit it’s a bit creepy, and present their letters.
Katsuki bares his teeth. “Just go away. I don’t care.”
“If seems like you do,” one guy says.
The other nods. “Are we getting through to you that you are worthless? Not someone worth anyone’s time?”
Katsuki opens his mouth, to tell them to fuck off, when the door opens and Uraraka steps out.
Cleaver eyes take in the scene and then she’s giving them a smile of her own. It’s just as creepy as theirs.
She turns to Katsuki, leaning in closer. “Hey, hey, since I did such a good job today, won’t you make me mochi this weekend?”
Katsuki snorts, instantly forgetting the two extras. “Who says you did well? You easily could have gotten in 20 more reaps on that last set.”
Uraraka punches his arm before she starts to walk towards the exit. Katsuki, unconsciously, follows her. The two guys watch them go. “So you telling me that I’m kicking those weights asses and that I could take down even Shoji now wasn’t you complimenting me?”
Katsuki sniffs, looking away. “So what? You still could have done more.”
“Come on, Blasty! I promise to buy the ingredients. And then we can gossip about the latest episode of-”
Katsuki slaps a hand over her mouth, eyes darting around. “Don’t say it out loud,” he hisses.
He can see Uraraka’s eyes crinkle as she laughs at him. She manages to pry his hand away, voice raising. “What? What was that? Don’t want people to know you-”
“Shut up. Shut the fuck up!”
She darts out of his reaching hands, outright laughing at him now. She cups her hands to mouth, fully shouting now. “Bakugou Katsuki watches-”
He tackles her out the door, dragging her toward their dorm room. “If I fucking promise to make mochi with you this weekend, will you promise to shut the fuck up?”
She beams at him. “Absolutely.”
~
Katsuki is slightly limping as he returns from his internship, a long, shitty day of patrolling which ended up in a shitty villain battle. He wasn’t hurt, but he managed to land on his leg wrong.
So when he sees two girls and a guy, all holding pink letters, waiting at his agency doors, he turns right around.
Unfortunately, they see him. “Ground Zero,” they call out, their voices sickly sweet.
He limps faster. But they still manage to catch up to him.
“Please accept-”
“Kacchan!” They all turn to see Deku opening the door, grinning brightly. One of the girls blush, the guy starts to stutter. Deku busts past them, to latch onto Katsuki. “Hey, are you ok? Do you need to see Recovery Girl?”
Katsuki snorts. “Fuck no, I’m fine.” He runs a critical eye over Deku, sporting his own bruises and scratches. “What the fuck happened to you? Get into a fight with a cat.”
Deku starts to stutter and Katsuki throws back his head to laugh. “Really? The future #2 hero losing a fight with a fucking cat?”
“I didn’t lose the fight,” Midoriya says with a pout. “And anyway, who says I’m going to be #2?”
“Me. Since I’m obviously going to be #1.”
“Not if I beat you.”
“You won’t beat me.”
The two continue to bicker as they leave the agency, the three extras completely forgotten.
~
Three guys try to get Katuski after class, but before they can even open their mouth, Aziawa appears. Like a freaking ghost.
“Bakugou.”
“Do you have to fucking do that?”
“Language,” it’s said like he doesn’t care what Katsuki’s response is. “Do you have a second? I would like to go over your essay on building reconstruction when it comes to heroics.”
Katsuki quirks an eyebrow at him. “Is it not up to your standards?”
"I don't believe that saying if the constitution companies paid their employees a workable wage then the shitty bastards wouldn't have to rely on free help is an acceptable phrase for an academic paper."
Katsuki snorts, crossing his arms. "It's true, though."
Aziawa's mouth twitches. "Maybe so. Still, I'm sure we can find a more constructive way to say that." He brandishes his arm, gesturing for Katsuki to follow him back into the classroom.
Katsuki goes, absolutely not smiling when Aizawa asks, in his more deadly teacher voice "Do you three need something?"
The loser extras scram.
~
Katsuki may not know a lot about having friends or social interactions that don’t involve beating the shit out of people. But he’s not stupid. He knows what his fucking classmates are doing, knows that for the past two weeks, he’s never been left alone for someone with a pink letter to get at him.
He’s furious with them. He doesn’t need their pity, their help.
He absolutely does not feel warmed by the fact that they care.
~
The ringleader bitch apparently notices too. Katsuki doesn’t know why she’s still trying but she’s getting desperate, having more and more of her classmates approach him, stalk him.
They’ve taken to following him into the goddamn restrooms.
And every time, one of his classmates appears, talking his ear off, asking all sorts of favors (“Bakugou, help us with homework.” “Bakugou, help us cook dinner.” “Bakugou, can you show me how you bend that way?” “Bakugou, lead us through your yoga routine.”)
Katsuki hates to admit but he doesn’t tense so much anymore whenever one of the extras approach. He doesn’t grit his teeth or clench his fists, knowing that he will have to sit there and listen to them tell him how unworthy of love and affection he is.
The bitch wants him to suffer.
But he’s not suffering.
~
When he says that the ringleader bitch is getting desperate, he means it.
~
Katsuki knew that she had been watching him for a while, he just wasn’t aware how closely that was.
It’s a nice warm day and Katsuki is returning from a visit back home. He’s one of the first of his classmates to return, only Eijirou and Shoji milling around. He nods to both of them, before going to his room to set his weekend bag down.
A text from his parents let him know that he left his charger in his dad’s car, and so, sighing, he heads back down.
But turning the corner of the dorm leads to him being surrounded by various people, the bitch ringleader in the center, standing tall with her hands on her hips and a vicious smirk on her face.
Katsuki pinches the bridge of his nose. “Look, do we have to do this now? I’m actually having a good day and would much rather not have your shitty face ruining it.”
The girl’s smirk drops as she glares at Katsuki, furious for a split second, before her face smooths back out. Then she’s back to smirking. “You know,” she says, voice high and snotty. “I don’t know what I ever saw in you-”
“My good looks and the fact that I’m the fucking best at everything?” Katsuki says, raising an eyebrow.
“You’re so fucking full of yourself,” she sneers but Katsuki can see that she is shaking, her whole facade starting to fall apart. The people surrounding them start to fidget, getting antsy. “Why can’t you take the hint that you’re unwanted?”
“Are you really fucking trying to tell me that I’m the one that can’t take a fucking hint?” Katsuki asks.
The girl’s face twists, an ugly sort of thing. Well, more than usual anyway. “Why couldn’t you have loved me? I was willing to look past your ugly attitude and the way you totally can’t control yourself. I was willing to help mold you into a more wonderful person. I was willing to love you.”
Katsuki narrows his eyes at her, his stomach twisting. Another person who wants to fucking change him. Why can’t the world just leave him alone ? “Who wants the love of some prissy little manipulative bitch like you?”
There are rumblings from the group as various people start shouting. The bitch raises her hand and the crowd falls silent. Like the loser followers they are. She smirks, tilting her head like she has something important to say. “You better take any love you can get, even from prissy little manipulative bitches like me. Especially from prissy little manipulative bitches like me, since that’s the only type of person who could ever love an angry, violent, hot-headed, narrow-minded pig like you who think that a strong quirk makes up for your lack of personality.”
Katsuki throws his head back, laughing, and even he can hear how sharp and cruel it sounds. “You think I give a fuck? I”m going to be the next #1 hero, I don’t need people to love me.”
“So even you realize that you aren’t worthy of anything close to having a partner.”
Katsuki opens his mouth, ready to tell her to fuck off, when Eijirou’s voice cuts through the rowdy crowd, loud and clear. “What’s going on here?”
Eijirou is a good head taller than most of the people gathered, so it’s easy to see him as he makes his way through the crowd. He has his hands stuffed in his pockets, stride long and almost lazy looking, if it weren’t for the sharp look in his eyes and the glint of his teeth.
Tanaka seems to shrink when Eijirou reaches her, but he doesn’t even glance her way. Instead, his eyes are focused on Katsuki, pinning him to the wall. Eijirou breezes past her and Katsuki blinks as he’s backed up against the wall, Eijirou caging him in.
Katsuki looks up at him (his heart is absolutely not fucking pounding out of his chest). “Ei? What-”
Eijirou slams a hand against the wall, leaning in close. Their faces are inches apart. Katsuki licks his lips and a shiver goes down his spine at the sight of those dark red eyes following his movement.
“Are these people bothering you, Katsuki?” He asks and Katsuki can feel the warmth of his breath hit him.
He absolutely is not weak in the knees!
“We’re not bothering him,” the queen bitch says, though Katsuki can’t help but snort in amusement at how weak her voice is compared to a few minutes ago. “We’re just trying to help him.”
Eijirou doesn’t even bother to look her way. “By harassing him?”
Katsuki’s eyebrows furrow, his mouth opening to deny the comment, but the look Eijirou sends him has him closing it again. Shit, when did Eijirou get this kind of power over him?
“We-we weren’t harassing him!”
Eijirou finally looks over his shoulder, giving her an unimpressed look before turning back to Katsuki. “But I don’t want to talk about that right now. I just want to clear up a misconception you both seem to be under.”
Katsuki frowns at him.
Eijirou smiles, though it doesn’t lose that sharp edge. “Katsuki is loved, very much so.”
Again, Katsuki goes to protest and again, Eijirou shushes him. The bigger man leans in closer, lips inches from his own. It blocks out the group and it feels like it’s just the two of them.
Like Eijirou is just talking to him.
“Everyone in class loves Katsuki. It’s why we train with him, why we study with him, why we beg him to cook for us. We respect him, we allow him to support us and in return we support him. What you fail to take into account is that we of class 3-A look out for each other. We are friends.”
“That’s not love,” Tanaka says, but her voice is shaky. There are mummers among the group and what sounds like a few people backing away. “That’s-that’s friendship. It’s not comparable.”
“Stupid,” Eijirou admonishes and Katsuki knows that must cut deep, to have someone as nice and friendly as Kirishima call you stupid. “Friendship is just as important too. But sure, let’s take out friendship. That doesn’t change the fact that Mr. Aizawa has just as much respect for Katsuki as Katsuki has for him. Mr. Azawa trusts Katsuki to do what’s right, he trusts that Katsuki knows not only his limits but the limits of others. He trusts that even if Katsuki messes up, he’ll learn from his mistake.”
“That’s-that’s not love, either!” Tanaka sounds desperate now, but Katsuki doesn’t care. His entire attention is focused on Eijirou, how Eijirou’s hand brushes through his hair, how Eijirou’s eyes bore into his, how Eijirou is so, so close, and how Katsuki is holding his breath, every word twisting his heart.
He absolutely does not believe what Eijirou is saying…
But he wants to, gods, does he want to.
Eijirou leans in even closer and there’s not an inch of space between them. Their lips are so close to touching and Katsuki dares not move.
“Then how about this,” Eijirou whispers, neither caring if she actually hears. “ I love Katsuki.”
Katsuki’s breath hitches.
“I love his determination, his willpower, how strong he is. I love how he won’t bow to anyone, that he sticks by his convictions. I love how he’ll train till he’s dead, just to reach his goal.” Eijirou scoots closer, one knee pressing in between Katsuki’s thighs, spreading them. “But I also love how much he cares . Sure, he acts like an asshole, but once you are his , he'd rather die than have something bad happen to you."
Kirishima's other hand reaches down, squeezing Katsuki's hip. "I love how you'll bitch at us to eat, bitch at us to do our homework, bitch at us to go sleep earlier. You worry so much for our health and we notice. "
Katsuki is absolutely not blushing, there is no red that spreads down to his neck.
"You're smart and powerful, but you work hard for those things. It saddens me to see you so rarely relax, because you look absolutely stunning when you do. When you smile. When you finally lose control and throw your head back to laugh. You don't see it, but whenever you do, I find myself stopping to stare at you."
Eijirou's body is pressed against Katsuki's, one hard-line against another.
"I...do that a lot actually. Stare at you. It's like you're this magnificent firework and if I even blink , I might miss you." Eijirou's mouth pulls down slightly. "I hate that you don't see yourself that way. That instead, you think of yourself as some kind of tool, just used to reach your goal and not good for anything else."
Katsuki's chest hurts and he wants to beg Eijirou to stop. Would do so actually, willingly, if he could get his mouth to work. But Eijirou barrels on.
"This absolutely wasn't the way I planned to confess, I wanted to make it more personal, I was planning it out with the squad, but I guess beggars can't be choosers. Bakugou Katsuki, I love you."
Eijirou leans in, slowly. Katsuki couldn't stop him even if he wanted to.
He absolutely does.
But he doesn't move.
Eijirou's lips are pressed against his, just a soft push. Katsuki has never kissed anyone before, he knows he isn't the best kisser, but that doesn't stop Eijirou. He brings his hand up to Katsuki's cheek, guiding him into a better position.
Katsuki is trembling but he can't breakaway. Can admit to himself that he doesn't want to.
Unfortunately, a shriek rips them away.
"Stop it, stop it," Tanaka screams. Her followers give her a wide berth, looking at her like the crazy person she is. "You can't love him."
"Why?" Eijirou demands. His body is blocking Katsuki's view, curling over him like Katsuki needs to be protected or something.
Katsuki absolutely does not love it.
"Because-Because he's a brute," the girl tries. "A savage. He doesn't deserve to be loved-"
"Says the girl who spent a month chasing him and wouldn't give up till you found some other drama," Eijirou growls. It rumbles in his chest. "By the way, how does the guy who actually likes you feel about how much time you are spending on bothering Katsuki?"
She flushes. It's answer enough. "We both want revenge on him for-"
"For what? For saying no?" There are more mummers and Eijirou frowns. "What exactly did you tell your classmates to get them to follow you? What lie did you make up?"
"I-I," she's stammering now. Her followers have started to slink away, embarrassment at having been involved with this clear.
By the time she makes an excuse, she's by herself. Left all alone.
Eijirou goes for the kill. "It looks like the loveless one was really you."
Her lower lip trembles and she breaks out into tears. Katsuki believes they are real this time. She turns and runs.
And suddenly, they are by themselves.
Glaring up at the taller boy, Katsuki tries to push him away. Eijirou doesn't budge. "She's gone, Shitty Hair, let me-"
"Don't." The command is so soft that Katsuki doesn't say the first thing that instantly comes to mind. Or the second.
"Don't what?" He hisses.
"You can be mad at me, you can reject me, but please, please, don't go back to using nicknames as a way to hide your emotions."
Katsuki stiffens. "I do not -
"You do," Eijirou interrupts. "I've known you for three years now, of course, I know what you running away from something looks like."
"I am not running away!" He couldn't even if he tried. Kirishima's stupid big bulky body has him in lockdown.
"Emotionally, you are."
Katsuki absolutely does not sputter. "I ain't doing shit. I just don't need your pity."
"Katsuki," Eijirou's stern voice has Katsuki looking up. "That wasn't pity. I told you, it wasn't how I had planned to confess, but it was a real confession. I love you. Have for a while now."
Katsuki doesn't know what to do with his hands. He can feel tiny, tiny explosions going off in his palms. He knows Eijirou can take them but he doesn't want to give the other man the wrong impression. He's not nervous or anxious about this. He just hates being lied to.
"You can't," Katsuki states it as a fact.
"Why?"
"Because I'm me . You said you know me for three years? Then you know every reason why you should be running in the other direction."
Eijirou grabs his hand and Katsuki has to fight to make sure the explosions don't get bigger. "It's because I know you that I'm not running." Eijirou smiles now. "If you couldn't make me run when I thought you were a grumpy asshole, what makes you think I'm going to run now, when I know better?"
Katsuki can't hold his gaze, can't keep looking into those deep pools. "You'll regret it. I promise you, you'll regret it."
A fingertip on his chin brings him back to staring up at Eijirou. "And if I don't?"
"You will ."
"We'll see." Eijirou's eyes flicker down to Katsuki's lips. "I really, really want to kiss you again. Can I?"
Katsuki should say no. Instead, he swallows and nods.
The kiss is better the second time. Katsuki is still freaking out, a small part of him frustrated that he hasn't instantly learned how to be a good kisser.
It's short and Eijirou draws away. Katsuki tries one more time to talk sense into him.
"I'm going to ruin your life." It's the harshest reality Katsuki can think of.
And all Eijirou does is grin in the face of that. "Really? Cause all I want to do is spend the rest of my life convincing you that you won't." He bends down to press a kiss to Katsuki's left cheek.
"That you were worth the fight." A kiss to his right cheek.
"That you are loved." A kiss to his forehead.
Katsuki absolutely does not surrender.