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"Phew, what a day," Remus moaned as he stepped up to his locker. He had already stripped out of the protective suit necessary for his nursing work these days and was just getting the rest of his outfit rearranged before heading home.
"Yeah," Lily moaned as she leaned wearily against the wall. "These hours are killing me."
"I hear you," he sighed back before stretching both hands overhead and giving his back an unsatisfactory stretch. Maybe Sirius would give him a back rub tonight?
"Mmm, are those new?" Lily asked as she watched him put in his dangling earrings.
Remus grinned shyly and nodded. "Sirius ordered these for me from Etsy."
"Super cute," she responded with a smile. "Sirius knows your style for sure."
"Yeah," he responded happily. They'd been together for six years now and friends for many years before that. No one knew him better than Sirius. "Do you all need anything?"
"No, I've already hit up the grocery store this week. James is going crazy so I might have to let him do the next run. He and Harry were stuck in the tree yesterday."
The mental image brought a sharp laugh up from the taller person and he gave her a comforting pat on the shoulder. "I'll have Sirius give him a video chat later. They should do that more during the day."
"Harry would like that," Lily yawned before finally picking up her purse and walking out with Remus. She gave his outfit an appraising look and shook her head. "I don't know how you always manage to look so put together, Remus. I feel like a frumpy old lady next to you."
Remus laughed again and gave her shoulders a quick squeeze. "Sirius helps. I'm sorry to say that James is probably not going to be much help in that department. You'll be in nothing but lingerie all day if he has a say in the matter."
She pinched his bum in retaliation and earned an indignant squawk for her efforts. "Not like you wouldn't say the same thing for Sirius if you had a say in the matter."
Hazel eyes glazed over lustily and Lily chortled before pinching him again. It really wasn't fair for a person to look so good after a shift like they had. How Remus could go from scrubs and a hazmat suit to dark cuffed skinny jeans, a shimmery gold top and matching red and gold dangling earring and those bloody heeled pumps...it was way more effort than she wanted to put forth after a hard day. Thankfully, she was confident that James liked her no matter what state she came home in. In fact, Remus was almost right - her husband would probably be more than happy to have her waltz about in the nude all day if it were socially acceptable. The image of little Harry running around completely naked in the backyard of their nudist commune house made her laugh and shake her head. She definitely needed to get some sleep.
"Take care, Lil, and tell the boys that we love them."
"Will do, Remus," she replied warmly as she gave him a hug. "We're sending all the love to you two as well."
With that, the two friends parted and Remus struggled to not focus too much on the delectable mental image that Lily had rudely supplied for him. Sirius in lingerie? Heavenly. Maybe he could get away with ordering another one of those lacy numbers that Sirius had liked so much but in black this time. Black was always a good contrast against that milky pale skin.
By the time he made it up to their shared apartment Remus had forgotten how exhausted he was and had a plan for how to seduce his darling. "My love~" he called out cheerily as he stepped past the front door and locked it behind him.
As he looked around the darkened room he felt all the cheer dissolve. The television was off and Sirius' computer was open but the screensaver was going. There looked to be an abandoned lunch on the stove untouched and no signs that anyone was even home. Which was strange because Sirius was definitely home.
"Love?" he called out again softly as he slipped off his pumps and set them by the door. He heard a groan from the bedroom and panic swelled in his chest. All the statistics of COVID-19 ran through his mind as he rushed into the bedroom and immediately knelt by the bed beside the curled up figure. "Fuck, are you running a temperature? Have you been coughing? Are you-"
The interrogation died on his lips as he saw the miserable face peek up from the pillow, red-rimmed eyes and tear streaked face.
"It's not that," Sirius croaked, voice husky and raw from apparently a lot of crying.
Remus felt his stomach drop even further than he thought possible.
"Oh. Oh, sweetheart..."
"They cancelled my surgery," Sirius whispered before starting to sob again. Crawling into the bed and wrapping his arms around his lover, Remus felt tears pricking at his own eyes. "I w-was trying to finish editing my vid-d-deo and they called and I know it's because of this virus stuff but it's...I just...it ruins everything Remus! I can't...I w-won't-"
"Hey, hey, hey," he soothed as he pushed the crazy black strands of frizzy hair back off Sirius' face.
"I'll never make it to a B cup now!" Sirius sobbed dejectedly before curling into a tighter ball against Remus. "I've already f-fucked up so much and...and..."
"Oh sweetheart," Remus tried comforting again. He had been expecting this, but had been hoping against all hope that maybe Sirius would still be able to get in and come out with no complications and without picking up COVID-19. "You're doing so great, sweetheart, and I know this is awful but I still love you. I love you so much."
What else could he say? Sirius was in the middle of a very tightly scheduled routine of doctors appointments, hormone treatments, blockers, and surgery. She hadn't started all of this until after she turned 20 and it had severely limited her ability to naturally grow the breasts she wanted. The orchiectomy was supposed to help her get the most out of the estrogen as well as help Sirius finally get off that blasted Spiro. They had already had their appointment at the sperm bank to ensure that he and Sirius could have biological children together if they wanted to later. Sirius had been so ready for this step and so desperate for any chance to grow more breast tissue. The both of them had been really hoping that she could avoid top surgery.
"Th-they said we're looking at three months or more to reschedule," she hiccuped softly into his chest. "I-it won't help by then."
"Sirius, the orchiectomy is what you've wanted for more than just its aid in helping with your breasts. And even though that might be a statistically accurate statement, that doesn't mean it absolutely won't help."
"B-but even Cissy has C-cups! I just want..." Her words caught as she buried her face even further into the shimmery gold material.
Sirius had been devastated to learn that even with a family history of large tits her chances of making it to the B cup was dependent on so many different factors. Starting transition after her 20s had reduced the likelihood of good breast growth and that was a key reason in scheduling the orchiectomy when they did.
Remus squeezed his partner and buried his face into her hair. There weren't any good words right now. It wouldn't matter to Sirius that he loved her tits the way they were or that her cup size was not indicative of how much a female she was. It wouldn't matter that Remus had considered her a female from the moment she told him tearfully over dinner that she was trans, or that no surgery or hormones or anything else was necessary for him to see her as a woman. Right now, she was grieving.
"I love you," he murmured over and over.
After a few more minutes, Sirius let out a shaky and heavy sigh. She must have been crying for a long time.
"I need to finish the edits on my video," she sniffled tiredly.
Leaning back to properly look Sirius in the face, Remus shook his head. "Sweetheart, I know that you like to keep with your schedule, but I'm sure your followers will understand you needing a break."
"But everyone needs some cheering up right now," she insisted.
"And they've got over a hundred videos of your beautiful makeup tutorials to work with if they want to doll up. They'll understand; you know they will."
She still looked unconvinced and he couldn't blame her. Sirius hosted one of the most popular makeup vlogs on YouTube as she had videos to help all persons interested in glamming up. There were so many people who loved her quirky sense of humor and her honesty about not only the beauty culture and how it impacted people but also how enjoying makeup was not wrong and was a fun way to explore your personality and help your self-image if done in the right spirit. Sirius also had videos of skin care routines, exercise, healthy living, and even the occasional videos to help explain to others what going through transition was like. Her faithful followers had even helped them crowdfund for the orchiectomy and sperm bank account. She always wanted to give as much as she could to these beautiful people, but Remus was 100% sure that they would understand her need to just rest and recover for a bit.
"Remus, I think I should-"
"I'll post a video!" he blurted out with a grimace before laughing at the shocked look on Sirius' face.
"But you hate being on video!" she protested in surprise.
It was true. While Sirius glowed under the spotlight and found it easy to play up the camera and engage with others, Remus was the opposite. Prominent facial scars that he had been bullied about for the majority of his life in addition to his blatant non-binary presentation had always left him rather shy around strangers and an experienced dodger of videos and cameras. Even Sirius had never managed to convince him to sit in during a video with her regardless of how much he liked getting a makeover from her experienced hands.
Remus took a deep breath and nodded.
"I do, sweetheart, but I love you. All of you. And I know that you need a break. I'll just make a quick video about you needing a break and then we can binge watch Queer Eye, okay?"
Still wide-eyed, Sirius nodded. "Only if you're sure. I don't want to make you uncomfortable..."
He pressed a kiss to those perfect lips and gave her another squeeze. "Absolutely sure, my love. Let me set up a nest for you on the couch first and then I'll do that video real quick."
With a plan of action clear in his mind, Remus hopped out of their bed and got to work. He moved as many pillows and blankets onto their couch as possible to make it comfortable for them both and then got to work preparing a healthy finger-food platter for their dinner. Crackers, olives, thinly sliced meat, cheese, and a few more fruits and veggies were all laid out on the cheese board before he set it on their coffee table. A couple glasses of wine completed the lineup and then he fetched Sirius. He helped her get in her favorite pajama set and then carried her over to the couch before settling her in the nest of softness. Handing her the remote to their TV, he glanced over to the computer desk and took a deep breath.
He could do this.
Sirius' soft hand took hold of his for a moment and gave it a squeeze. He looked down into those beautiful grey eyes and felt his heart pounding in delight. A grin and a kiss later and he was finally settled in front of the camera set-up. Seeing Sirius do this a million times was definitely not the same as sitting in the hot seat himself. After fiddling with the switches for a minute he realized that it was already recording and laughed nervously.
"Um, hello. Sorry, I've not done this before. Anyway, uh, you all know Sirius and have probably been on the edge of your seat waiting for her next video to upload."
He glanced over his shoulder to see Sirius shyly peeking over the edge of the couch to watch him and he blushed deeply.
"So, uh, she's been working on finishing up her edits but something came up today that's really gotten her down. Um, well, you all know that she was scheduled for surgery in the next couple of weeks. We're both so grateful for all your support and...oh fu-u....fudge? Will I get shut down if I drop an f-bomb? Er, anyway, I'm Sirius' partner. Yeah, should have mentioned that at the beginning."
A snicker came from behind him and he shot Sirius a fondly exasperated glance before turning his attention back to the camera. That round light thing was so bright.
"Yeah, anyway. So, as you can imagine with the COVID-19 stuff going around doctors have had to make a lot of hard decisions and Sirius got the call today that they've cancelled her surgery and she's looking at waiting three months or more for a reschedule. Obviously, she's pretty devastated and has been trying to deal with it. So, that's to say, Sirius is going to be taking a little bit of a break and I'd appreciate if you all would send her all your love and good energy. Please fill her message box thing with encouraging words and let her know how much she is loved and appreciated."
The words caught in his throat as he started to think of just how much he loved and adored Sirius. She was his whole world and he would do anything for her.
"So, uh, I love her," he pressed out thickly as tears pricked his eyes. "I hate seeing her hurt and heartbroken. She's done so much to put love and beauty out into the world and it would mean a lot to have some of that sent back her way. Thanks for putting up with my poorly done video because I don't know what the hel...heck I'm doing. Thanks, and I hope that you all are doing well during this lockdown. Stay safe and make good decisions. Um, bye."
He finally managed to get the video turned off and stumbled through the process of getting it uploaded on YouTube. He didn't bother with any editing as he wouldn't know what the hell he was doing anyway and after far longer than was necessary it was posted. He sighed in relief and shut everything down. With that finished he got into his own silk pajamas and snuggled next to Sirius. The look in those grey eyes was adoration and he felt even more love towards his brave darling.
"Thanks, Remus," she whispered shyly.
"I'd do anything for you, sweetheart," he replied easily before wrapping her in his arms.
She pressed soft kisses against his mouth before feeding him some cheese and crackers while he got Queer Eye started.
**
A soft knock to the door woke Remus up and he stared up blearily at the ceiling for a few minutes before gathering his wits enough to roll out of bed. Sirius was still sound asleep and he smiled fondly at her for another moment before shuffling towards the door. With a glance through the peephole it was obvious that whoever had knocked was no longer there, but there was a little package on their welcome mat. Opening it up, he was surprised to see a little note with tight, neat handwriting addressing the contents of the soft canvas bag to Sirius.
Dear Sirius,
I'm sorry to hear about your surgery getting postponed. I was out getting groceries today and wanted to get you some treats. Keep your chin up and know that you are loved.
Best regards,
Regulus
Leaving the bag's handles in their neat bow, Remus shuffled back towards the bedroom with a grin on his face. Regulus was knee-deep in the family business and hadn't really been on speaking terms with Sirius since she ran away from home during high school. It had been a sore topic with Sirius for years as she and her brother had always got along very well, so he knew that she would be thrilled with this gesture. Remus wondered which of her many followers was actually Regulus with a secret account.
Sure enough, Sirius had been thrilled to see the message from her brother and nearly cried when she dug into the bag. He had filled it with Remus' favorite chocolates and her favorite candy, Jordan Almonds, in addition to several different flavors of potato chips and beef jerky. At the bottom of the bag was a pair of pink and purple socks that had a message printed on the soles.
"If you're reading these," Sirius read out loud, "than you should be rubbing my feet!" She laughed happily and shook her head. "I guess you've got some socks to remind you of your duty now, Remus!"
Remus pressed a few kisses to her cheeks. "I can do that, sweetheart."
"I can't believe he did this," she mumbled in awe. "He must be following me on YouTube or something."
"He still loves you and he always will," Remus reminded her. Sirius hadn't allowed herself to believe that. "You really are loved, Sirius."
Sirius curled up against his side contentedly. He would have to get up in a few minutes to prepare for another long day at the hospital. It would be grueling and uncomfortable work. Today might even be the day that he finally contracted COVID-19. But for now, in the arms of his love, Remus thought that things couldn't be more perfect.