Work Text:
Notes at the end^^, enjoy!
Since that incident, all went running peacefully… even more than when I was a woman; all is going very well, as if nothing has happened. That person leave me a perfect world for me, a world in which I can live free without hiding my gender, I’m a man… I’ve been always a man with the body of a woman, but now I’m a full man.
Since I got a man body, my strength grew up considerably, I guess is for the stamina and strength that a man body has. I’ve been still training at the Yagyuu dojo, it could be me but everyone else seems to be weak than before.
Since then, I’ve seen Tojo crying with a mountain of gothic loli dresses, grandfather told me keep training while Papaue told me that the future of the Yagyuu sword art style is safe. I feel happy… just is reminding an egoist wish… Tae-chan…
Every time I went out with Tae-chan there where people whispering things like “How a good look like couple” or “They look cute together”… in all those time, we both blushed as hard we can… being side by side with Tae-chan makes me happy… now that I’m a man, I can openly go out with her without doubt if two women can be lovers or not…
Even if we can’t be lovers in this way… I still want to protect her, she’s the most precious person in my life, I don’t want her to go away… but if she loves someone else, then… I will just pray… for her happiness and I will still protect her.
“Juubei-san, you’ve been looking at the ground this whole time, what’s up?”
“Eh? I-is nothing… I was just thinking on stuff…”
“What kind of stuff?”
“N-nothing special… just random stuff” I can avoid it, I feel my face hot, I was blushing again… Tae-chan is so beautiful…
“Random stuff right? Oh my… You keep saying things like that” She showed me one of her marvelous smiles.
“It’s not that way Tae-chan! Is just that…”
“What?”
“I’ve been wondering, how are everyone handling their lives with these new genders… it’s all my fault, so I guess is normal to be worried, right?”
“Don’t blame yourself for that Juubei-san… it isn’t your fault…”
“It is. If I haven’t asked to that person… nothing would happen…”
Suddenly, I found myself being hugged by Tae-chan…
“I told you to not blame yourself. Those people would have ended changing genders anyway, even if you haven’t met them, so stop blaming yourself.” I could felt Tae-chan’s breath on my chest, it was so comfortable… without notice it I was hugging her back.
“Thank you Tae-chan…”
“Don’t worry”
When I’m with Tae-chan, I’m really happy; just with seeing her real smile, I can be happy.
“But there is another thing that annoys you, right Juubei-san?”
“…well…I…” There was something, something that Papaue told me, I couldn’t hide it from Tae-chan anymore. “Papaue told me that now that I’m a man I… should…”
“You should what?”
“I should… find a…w-wife” My heart was beating so hard that I’m sure Tae-chan could listen it, but at the same time, I know this won’t go any go further.
“A wife?” She asked me a little bit confused
“F-for the gain of the Yagyuu clan… at least, that is what Papaue told me… for g-gave him g-grandsons… y-you know! Someone who can lead the Yagyuu clan once I die” I was nervous, I was sad, I was stressed… I was… confused…
“J-Juubei-san… are you asking me for…” She full blushed.
“N-NO!! I-is not that!!” I panic, though I would love that Tae-chan became my woman, but I know… that is impossible “Y-you asked me what was annoying me so I just answer…”
“S-sorry, I just panic because the idea of sons is too soon…”
“T-that’s right…” Once I answered… I analyzed the answer Tae-chan gave me… “The idea of sons is too soon”? What does it means?... could be that… does she really…
“Wait Tae-chan…what do you…mean?” I said with a serious face.
She laughed “What I mean is that before thinking on sons we should take our time for being sure if it is a great idea”
“EH!? T-Tae-chan…!!” I blushed so hard… was Tae-chan telling me that, She will be my…my w-wife?!
“Why are you acting like that?” She was still laughing
“W-well… first because I didn’t asked you to be the mother of my sons…second… I didn’t asked you to…became my… my wife…” My heart broken with the last phrase… I know is impossible… I can’t be Tae-chan’s husband, even if it was a childhood promise, I couldn’t protect that promise, I don’t want her to marry me just because she feels guilty about my left eye even if it wasn’t her fault!
“You, gave up about me right… Kyuu-chan?” Her melancholy face broke my heart even more, what the hell I’m doing to her? Wait…does what I said really hurt her… why?!
“Gave up?... please don’t say that Tae-chan” For instinct I hug her “I would never gave up on you…at least, not until you find a nice man that you can marry with…” Can my heart be more broken than this? I’m just hurting myself with these conversation, but I prefer this than hurting Tae-chan for an entire life. “I just want you to be happy, it doesn’t matter if is with another man or woman, If I can see your real smile… I can be relaxed.”
“I see…so, what if the man I want to be happy… is you.”
Unexpected answer… I’m dreaming…IT MUST BE A DREAM! Tae-chan wouldn’t say something like that! Tae-chan is my best friend; she is not even my lover! Then why my heart burns?!
“W-what do you…?”
“Kyuu-chan, it’s been a while since I made up my mind about my feeling to you… I thought it was just a deep friendship, then I notice that there is no a deep friendship… without loving that person who is with you. It doesn’t matter if you are a woman or a man, if you love that person, nothing else matters; even when I tried to deny this feeling I couldn’t… and now that you are a man, that feel just overcame me! I just… I just want to be with you…”
She hold my hand, I could feel that she was tumbling… and crying… I made her cry again, I did It again! How I can make her smile? She said she wanted to be happy with me, but how I can do it if she’s already crying for me?!
“Tae-chan… please, don’t cry anymore…I told you right? I just want to see your real smile, I can’t see you cry anymore… yet I don’t know how to make you smile!” I was hugging her as hard as I can, as if she was about to disappear if I leave her “I just…!”
... ...
She kissed me; I stopped thinking, the time suddenly stopped as I feel Tae-chan’s lips on mines, even my body move by their own hugging her even more as I kissed her back while I finally closed my eye.
I could feel her cold tears in my check as we searched for breath breaking slowly the kiss, the first thing I saw when I opened my eye, were Tae-chan’s eyes shining as I haven’t seen before.
The last time I kissed her was when I returned from my training trip… when I was a woman, when I just wanted Tae-chan just for me and nobody else was gonna have her if wasn’t me. At that time I just wanted her to be by my side as the egoist person that I am, but this time is different, she kissed me as I could feel her feelings, now I’m really confused. Should I try to make her my wife again, show her the love I feel for she? Or should I leave her be?…
“Tae-chan… are you still feel guilty, because of my left eye?” I wanted to know, so I could take the final decision that will make Tae-chan happy, even if it cost me my own happiness.
“Why…you want to know…?” She feels guilty… she still feels guilty…
“I don’t want you to love me… if that is the reason… you know that incident was my fault! Ya’ know, what does we samurai do right? We protect until the end what we want to protect, I decided to protect you because I wanted to! I lose my eye because I was weak and I couldn’t protect you. I told you right? I just want you to be happy…I-I’m afraid that you won’t be happy with me! But still… I-I love you”
“I love you too” She said as she touched my patch “If you want to make me happy… just be you, ok?” Finally she smiled again, she wasn’t crying anymore, She was smiling and she say that she DOES LOVE ME!!
“T-then Tae-chan… d-does we…?”
“We can start again, as lovers… o-of c-course i-if you want to….!”
I smiled at her as she smiled at me while she was blushing… She is perfect, she’s beautiful…she’s the goodness of my life; I carried her so I could leave her rest near to a sakura tree; I sat by her side as she rested her head in my shoulder, I hugged her in response.
“Nee Kyuu-chan…you thing all will go different now?”
“Definitive, it will go different… but I promise you that that difference will no be a bad stuff, I promise you to protect you and make you happy, even if it cost me my life”
“Then, I promise you that I will love you, no matter what happens… even if you and everybody can get theirs old body back, I will be here with you ”
With a sweet kiss, we settle a new promise, and this time I won’t broke it, I will keep my word until my dead.
“Want to drink something Tae-chan?”
“Oh! I remember I said to Goriko that we will meet at the café, could you come with me?”
“Ok, then let’s go, knowing her, She’s already there so we should hurry.”
If this goes well, I will be happy with Tae-chan and she will be happy with me, but now… the guilty on my heart approaches me, while I’m enjoying being a man, everyone else is suffering with these news genders, maybe…I made another promise that I won’t be able to swear.
I know it… I’m just a low-life coward bastard, Tae-chan… I’m sorry.
Hi guys! Here NeoRuki posting her first fic in this awesome page! Well, first sorry for all the mistakes and gramatical order, english is not my native language but I hope you can understand me, also I'm not a person who writes a lot, I'm more of the "drawing" person so this may have a bit of ooc and inconsistencies, I'm deeply sorry m(_ _)m
I did this fic 1 year ago and posted it on my Livejournal, but today I decided to post it here because I feel that this girls need more love, thought idk if call this a "yuri" fic since Kyuubei is Juubei here but anyway, hope you had enjoy it.
Follow me on Tumblr or Twitter OwO you might find some of my art here