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namjoon was surprised to see him at his door at 2:37 am.
he looked up at the swan hybrid in front of him. he looked a little disheveled, his eyes glossy and unfocused, his cheeks flushed as he barely held himself up from namjoon’s door frame.
“joonie hyung,” the swan cheered gleefully, as he had been knocking for a solid 10 minutes before the peacock hybrid finally relented, “I-I knew y-you’d open up.”
namjoon immediately reached out to take the swan hybrid into his arms, seeing as he was about to fall when the door he was using to support himself opened up. “jimin? what are you doing here?”
jimin could only giggle, looking absolutely pleased when the peacock hybrid took him in his arms. “why I-I’m here to see y-you, my love. I have missed y-you so much.”
namjoon sighed as he pulled the swan to his apartment. it was past 2:30 in the morning and namjoon knew that the neighbours would complain soon if he didn’t get jimin out of the hallway.
he pulled the smaller hybrid into his sofa, putting him down there seeing as the swan could barely hold himself up anymore. “stay there, I’m gonna get you some water.”
“be quick please,” jimin whined like a child, pouting adorably, “d-don’t leave me f-for long.”
it was at the tip of namjoon’s tongue to remind the swan that it was him who left, and not him.
namjoon took that time to run to the kitchen, getting himself a glass of water. but before running back to jimin, he managed to make a detour to his bathroom that was connected to his room, grabbing a face towel to help the swan freshen up.
the peacock hybrid also saw his phone on top of his desk. he was working on some plates and wasn’t really in bed at this time. so he made a dash for his phone and returned to the swan with a glass of water and a towel.
“you took so long baby,” jimin sat up with namjoon’s help and namjoon would forever deny that his heart stuttered in that endearment, “I-I need you here you know.”
namjoon’s eyes softened. yes it’s been three months since he last had jimin over his house, but his heart was still ever so soft for the swan whenever he asked for something.
he was whipped back then, and he still is right now.
the swan drank the water, his pure as white feathers that lined his back sides fluttering happily when his throat ran with something cold. he then grabbed the towel namjoon brought, taking his time as he ran the towel along his face to freshen himself up.
namjoon used that time to swipe open his phone and shoot his best friend a quick text.
‘yoongi hyung, jimin’s here.’
yoongi responded immediately, ‘WHAT? WHERE?’
‘in here, in my apartment.’
‘what the fuck is he doing there? joon what the hell?’
‘I don’t know hyung, I think he’s drunk. and he’s sitting on my couch right now.’
‘well get him out of there before i come there and drag him away myself. what the fuck is he even thinking?’
‘I don’t know hyung, and I’m about to find out.’
“thank you joonie,” the swan smiled so genuinely once he was done wiping himself up, “you always know h-how to take care of me well.”
“jimin,” namjoon sighed as he assessed their situation, “w-what are you doing here?”
jimin turned to look away from namjoon’s eyes, his smile dropping slightly, before putting a nonchalant look on his face.
“daniel, jaehyun and I h-had a few drinks and I think I had a bit too much,” jimin shrugged as if it was no big deal, “m-my apartment’s too far anyways, thought I-I could crash by in yours. I missed you, joonie.”
namjoon hated the way jimin said that, as if nothing was even wrong.
“jimin I hate to be the bad guy here,” namjoon’s eyes turned apologetic, “but you have absolutely no reason to be here at 2 in the morning.”
jimin’s eyes turned watery at namjoon’s words, his bottom lip wobbling as he stared up to the peacock hybrid, “I just w-wanted to see you, joonie hyung. is that s-so fucking bad?”
“jimin-ah,” namjoon had to look away, he wasn’t strong enough for the swan’s pout, “we’re over remember? you broke up with me.”
jimin had to choke back a sob, his feathers fluttering on his back nervously, “t-that was the biggest mistake I ever m-made in my life, hyung.”
namjoon closed his eyes, feeling his own tears building up from the corner of his eyes.
damn it, he was done crying over him.
“you can’t do this to me jimin, you can’t come back after leaving me as if nothing’s wrong.” namjoon said in a whisper, feeling his already broken heart shatter more and more for every moment that passed.
jimin carefully scooted closer to his hyung at the other end of the couch. he watched as joonie’s beautiful feathers on his back twitched in nervousness from underneath his pyjamas.
he remembers the times that namjoon was so, so happy. joon would let those feathers puff out, freeing them from under his shirt, like the beautiful peacock he is.
oh how jimin had missed seeing him happy.
“hyung, I’m so fucking sorry.” jimin carefully raised his hands to cup namjoon’s cheeks, thankful that the peacock did not push him away just yet. “I know I’m a jerk for just coming here at this time. but I just missed you so much, hyung. I was so miserable and lonely, and I couldn’t stand it anymore.”
“and who’s fault was that?” namjoon could feel the anger bubbling up inside him. jimin was making it seem like it was namjoon’s fault that he was lonely. “I wasn’t the one who left, wasn’t I?”
jimin gulped, he knew how idiotic he was and he promised himself on the way to namjoon’s apartment that he would swallow all his pride if it meant having his peacock back.
“hyung I know I have absolutely no right to do this, I don’t deserve you, and yet here I still fucking am,” jimin finally allowed his own tears to fall freely, “but please, joonie, please take me back.”
namjoon let out a shallow breath at that.
three months ago, that was all namjoon had wanted to hear. all he ever yearned for was to have jimin come knocking on his door, telling him it was a mistake to leave him, and ask him to take him back.
because he knew that he would do so in a heartbeat. ready to forgive and forget as if jimin breaking up with him was nothing but a passing nightmare.
but now, the peacock found himself hesitating.
namjoon thinks that maybe, just maybe, jimin is already three months too late.
“min, you’re drunk,” namjoon decided to play it into jimin’s intoxication, saving himself from another heart break, “you don’t know what you’re saying.”
“no joon,” jimin said firmly. “I know that I missed you so much. I know that I’m m-miserable without you. I know that my l-life had been nothing but fucking lonely without you. I know that I’m an idiot f-for leaving you. and I-I know that I still love you even if we broke u-up three months ago.”
namjoon finally felt a tear drop at jimin’s words, then another, and another, before they finally flowed freely down namjoon’s face. “I don’t know, jimin, I don’t know.”
“joon,” jimin held namjoon’s face in his hands firmly, forcing the peacock to look him in the eye, “do you still love me?”
namjoon gasped, unbelieving of jimin’s courage. “you c-can’t just ask me that question!”
“please joon,” jimin’s tears matched his begging, “I need to know.”
“I’m already moving on, jimin.” namjoon whimpered as he couldn’t move his face to look away from the swan, “there’s no point in doing this.”
“hyung,” jimin’s voice broke. “I know I don’t deserve it. but I need to know so I would know if I still have a chance to get you back and fix our relationship.”
namjoon found himself huffing, “so what? we get back together only for you to leave me again the moment our careers get in the way of our date nights? we get back together only for you to once again walk out the door the moment I start putting my career first once more?”
jimin whimpered, feeling absolutely horrible about himself. “I know I was selfish hyung, but I’m so sorry. I should have never made you choose between your career and me, because as your boyfriend, it was my job to support you, not stop you from chasing your dreams.”
“jimin, all I ever wanted was a good future for you and me,” namjoon sighed in defeat, “you threw away two and half years just because I had to leave out of town more than twice a month.”
“I know, hyung, and I regret that every single day. I was selfish, and I was insecure. I was getting jealous more and more, and I couldn’t help but think horrible thoughts the more you left and the less I saw you.” jimin admitted shamefully and namjoon’s brows furrowed in confusion.
“what do you mean you got jealous?” namjoon asked the swan.
“i-it’s stupid,” this time it was jimin who looked away, “y-you were spending so much time with your architect. she s-saw you more than I ever did, and you took her with you every time y-you left town. and i-it bothered me so much.”
namjoon’s eyes widened, “you got jealous of jihyo?”
jimin’s only response was a silent nod. he was indeed jealous of the pretty falcon hybrid that namjoon always took with him whenever he left the town or the country.
but now, with namjoon looking up at him so indecorously, so unbelieving that jimin would think and believe such things, the swan begins to ask himself how he could even doubt his beautiful peacock.
“jimin,” namjoon sighed. “you know I would never do that to you.”
“I know, hyung, I know that now. I let my insecurities eat me and I lost you because of that. I’m so sorry.” jimin let go of namjoon’s face to hug himself, sobbing lightly as he did.
“why did you never tell me about your thoughts?” namjoon eyed the swan with an unexplainable emotion running through his own eyes.
“I was scared, joonie,” jimin decided it was time to bare his soul. “I was scared that the moment I told you, you would find me clingy and an obstacle to your growing career as an engineer. I was scared you’d leave me.”
“so you did it by yourself?” namjoon huffed.
“I’m dumb I know. it was so stupid of me but I was just so angry. you were leaving me again for two weeks, when I only had you back for three days, after you came home from a ten day travel. I got so upset that I made you choose, I’m sorry.” jimin apologized from the bottom of his heart.
“jimin you know why I chose my career right?” it was namjoon’s turn to grab the swan’s cheeks in between his palms. “you know I didn’t choose my career because I didn’t love you, or I loved my career more than you.”
jimin’s eyes turned guilty. “you don’t have to defend yourself hyung. you never have to. I’ve thought about it for the past three months and I realized my mistakes.”
“I just don’t want you to think that you hadn’t been important to me,” namjoon said as if he was trying to convince the swan of this fact. “you meant the whole world to me, jimin-ah.”
jimin smiled so brokenly as he managed to raise one of his hand to hold namjoon’s cheek back. “meant?”
it was namjoon’s turn to drop his hands. “jimin-ah.”
“it’s okay, hyung, I understand.” jimin’s eyes saddened. “it was my fault anyway. I should have known, that yes I may not have been your number one—“
“jimin-ah that’s not—“ namjoon tried to cut him off but jimin placed his tiny finger to silence namjoon’s lips.
“it’s alright, hyung.” it sounds so sad but jimin still smiled genuinely, “I may have not been your number one, but hyung, you always put me before your own self. and now only did I realize how much more beautiful that is.”
namjoon couldn’t help it, he bumped their foreheads together as more tears streamed down both their faces. “oh jimin-ah.”
“it’s true joonie,” jimin cried with him, “every time you’d come home, I’d see the exhaustion in your eyes, but still you took me on dates to make up for lost time, just to see me happy. even on a busy day and you only had lunch for free, you’d still run to the other side of town to my office, to bring me food and see me even if it’s only for ten minutes, before you’d have to go and run back to your meeting.”
“I did that because I loved you.” namjoon said sincerely.
“I know hyung, and I’ve realized that now.” jimin used the pad of his thumb to wipe away namjoon’s tears, “everything you did was for me, was for us. and I was so stupid to throw that away for petty jealousy and some insecurities.”
namjoon shook his head, “you should have told me. we should have communicated better, and I should have noticed that too. I’m sorry, jimin-ah.”
“you have absolutely nothing to be sorry for.” jimin said firmly.
but namjoon once again shook his head. “I should have eased your insecurities. I should have been here with you more. and I should have communicated better. we already saw so little of each other, of course you’d feel a little insecure of our relationship. I should have have been better. I’m sorry for all of that.”
jimin shook his head too. “you were so good for me joonie, the best I’ve ever had. the best person in my life.”
“you were so good to me too jiminie,” namjoon smiled softly and honestly, “the bestest person in my life as well.”
jimin decided to try his luck. “am I good enough for you to take back then?”
so they were back to this.
“I-“ namjoon found himself stumbling with his words. “jimin, I-I—“
jimin decided to press harder. “do you still love me, joonie?”
namjoon closed his eyes and stayed silent for a while. he did so not because he was thinking of the answer. of course he already knew it. but he still didn’t know if the swan hybrid would mean it in the morning.
“you’re still drunk, jimin.”
but jimin only ignored him. he was a man on a mission and that was to get his precious peacock back. he inched closer to the peacock hybrid, stroking his colorful feathers underneath his white shirt.
“please tell me joon.” jimin said firmly as he tipped namjoon’s head to look him in the eye. “because I know that I still love you, that three months never changed what I felt. there’s not a day that has gone by that I didn’t love you. so tell me joonie, do you still love me too?”
oh namjoon was such a weak man. and boy was he especially weak for a certain pretty swan hybrid.
namjoon bumped their foreheads together again, looking the swan in his pretty and pleading eyes, “I never stopped, minnie.”
with the way jimin smiled at that moment, he felt as if he could once again have a reason to look forward for a tomorrow. “I missed you calling me ‘minnie’.”
namjoon laughed softly, “no one around also calls me ‘joonie’ anymore.”
suddenly, the swan looked at him with serious eyes. “will you take me back then joon?”
at this, namjoon exhaled deeply. it wasn’t that he didn’t want to have jimin back in his life. it’s just that he felt as if big decisions like this couldn’t exactly be made at 3:04 in the morning, when one of them was still half drunk.
“minnie,” namjoon said equally serious. “how about let’s talk about this in the morning? when you’re already sober.”
jimin’s eyes saddened at that, thinking that namjoon was rejecting him. “i-it’s okay hyung. if you don’t want me back, I—“
namjoon cut him off with his forefinger pressing to jimin’s lips with a ‘shh’, just like what the swan did for him earlier. “I’m not saying no, jimin. I’m just saying that I want this talk when the alcohol’s no longer clouding your mind. I just don’t want you to regret anything.”
jimin’s eyes may have brightened at that, but he began shaking his head. “I will never regret having you back, joonie.”
“I know, minnie,” namjoon smiled softly. “how about let’s get you to bed?”
suddenly, jimin looked up at the peacock with the best puppy dog eyes he could muster. “can I sleep with you, joonie? I just miss cuddling with you so much.”
namjoon stood up and extended his hand to the swan with a soft smile, “you don’t even have to ask, baby. come on.”
and jimin had never been more eager to reach out for namjoon’s hand.
the peacock hybrid then lent the swan one of his sleep shirts, seeing as jimin had taken all of his stuff from namjoon’s apartment after they broke up.
but jimin wasn’t complaining. he was finally in one of joon’s shirts again, just like the old days. and god did he love being engulfed in namjoon’s scent.
“stop sniffing my shirt.” namjoon playfully teased the swan, as jimin went under the covers in his sleep shirt.
“you can’t stop me,” jimin teased back, playfully bunching the shirt to his nose to sniff it again, “I missed your scent around me.”
namjoon only smiled as he checked everything he needed to check inside his apartment, before turning off the main lights and turning on his bedside lamp.
“I missed this, you know,” namjoon admitted as he joined the swan hybrid under the covers. “I missed having you here with me.”
jimin might be a little shy when you first meet him, but he was never shy with his joonie — his safe haven. he didn’t shy away from touching him too.
he found himself draped around the peacock hybrid. his arms wrapping themselves around namjoon’s torso, his fingers caressing his feathers from underneath namjoon’s own pyjamas. namjoon reciprocated the motion, his own hands circling the swan’s waist, their legs tangled with each other, delighted in the way the swan’s feathers tingled under his soft touch.
they were now looking at each other, face to face, with nothing but bare honesty.
“joonie,” jimin mumbled softly, as if he was afraid to break such a delicate moment. “will you let me be selfish?”
namjoon hummed, “what do you mean, minnie?"
“I know we still aren’t back together, but can I please kiss you, baby?” jimin almost pleaded, desperate for the feeling of namjoon’s lips against his own.
namjoon only smiled in return, unable to resist the thought of kissing the swan hybrid again. “you know I’ll give you anything you want, minnie.”
and that was all jimin needed before diving to capture namjoon’s plush lips against his own after three long torturous months.
it was just like having their first kiss all over again.
namjoon knows it’s been too long, but he can never forget the feeling of jimin’s pout against his own. and yet the way he feels right now feels so good and foreign, and it’s as if he is once again getting reacquainted with the best feeling in the world.
their kissed started soft, just enjoying the feeling of having the other again. until jimin sucked on namjoon’s bottom lip and namjoon let out a low groan.
their kiss suddenly turned a bit desperate, it’s been three months after all. the two hybrids want to believe that they both deserve this. their tongues ended up clashing, their teeth messily clanking against each other.
it felt so fucking good that namjoon felt like he could do this until sunrise.
but it was only when jimin suddenly grinded against his crotch did he realize that that would probably not be such a good idea.
“jimin,” namjoon groaned out against every single cell in his body. “we have to stop.”
jimin may have groaned like a brat but even he knew that namjoon was right.
he detached their lips, but not before going back for another peck, then another, and then another, only stopping when namjoon tickled his sides to get him to stop.
“alright, alright,” jimin giggled, “I’ll stop.”
namjoon turned his body around to finally switch off the bedside lamp. he then hugged the swan hybrid close to him, before dropping a kiss to the other’s forehead. “good night minnie.”
“good night, joonie.” jimin paused. “I love you.”
namjoon’s breath shuddered, still unbelieving that jimin was back in his arms again. it might have only been three months, but for namjoon, it felt like three long years without his pretty swan.
“I love you too, jimin-ah, so, so much.”
and with that they closed their eyes.
in the morning, it would seem like a funny sight.
their bodies shifted, and namjoon, despite being the bigger out of the two, was currently being jimin’s little spoon as jimin hugged him tightly from behind.
namjoon groaned when he felt kisses being peppered on the side of his face. he turned around and felt a certain warmth against his body, making him snuggle closer.
the warm body only giggled softly, only remembering now how adorable the peacock was early in the morning when he was trying to hog the swan’s warmth for himself.
jimin couldn’t stop dropping kisses until the pretty peacock finally opened his eyes.
“it’s too early for this.” namjoon groaned out in complain.
jimin only laughed softly at the peacock’s pout, “good morning joonie.”
and namjoon found himself smiling for the best sleep he’s had after three long months, “good morning, minnie.”
jimin suddenly cleared his throat a little too loudly, pulling namjoon’s face to look at him directly. “you know, I’m sober now.”
namjoon smiled teasingly, “is that so?”
“yeah,” jimin whispered softly, before his eyes suddenly turned unsure. “joonie, you still love me, don’t you? you didn’t just say that last night to get rid of me? that wasn’t just a dream, right?
all feelings of sleepiness left namjoon’s body.
“minnie, you’re here in my bed, and in my arms, aren’t you?” namjoon pushed himself up slightly. “I loved you for two and a half years. I loved you three months ago even when you left me. I loved you last night when you asked me again. and I still love you right now, right this morning.”
jimin’s eyes couldn’t help but water. how was he so stupid to once let this man go? “and you’ll always love me?”
“I’ll always love you, for as long as you’ll have me.” namjoon dropped a loving kiss to the swan’s forehead, “I loved you then, I love you now, and I forever will, my pretty, pretty jiminie.”
the swan could only giggle, unable to stop a few stray tears from falling. “and I love you so much too joonie, so, so much. I loved you even when I left, I loved you even when we weren’t together for three months. and I will love you for every single moment of my life.”
“then that’s all I need jimin-ah,” namjoon whispered back. “we have things to work on, things we’ll have to fix. but for now, I just wanna enjoy having my pretty swan in my arms.”
jimin cuddled closer, so tight as if he was afraid that the moment he let go, namjoon would fade away. “I’m here joonie, I’m never leaving again.”
later they would have to talk more, fix their rough edges before they start anew. maybe it would take months, maybe it would take a few more dates, but for now, namjoon was just so happy finally have his pretty swan back.
and jimin could barely contain his happiness at the thought of having his beautiful peacock again — slowly but surely, he’ll work to have namjoon back in his life.
jimin knows that he will have to be patient, for all he ever wants is for his peacock to be happy.
he yearns to see namjoon’s breathtaking feathers fan out once again along with namjoon’s equally beautiful dimpled smile.
oh how jimin had missed seeing namjoon happy.