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His stomach sinks with a strange morning bliss as he hears the loud footsteps rambling in the corridor, squeezing his eyes shut and covering his face with the blanket. Smile already making its way to his lips, feeling how his heart starts jumping in joy. The voices become loud at the other side of the door after a few seconds, giggles mixed with whining in equal parts, what he believes is Mingi yelling hard as someone — probably Wooyoung — pinches him making him giggle under the covers.
Soon Hongjoong is also making sound under the blankets, groaning loud and throwing one of his pillows into the door, sitting down in bed with a pissed expression.
"If you're gonna come, do it in silence!" He bawls with a sigh, throwing the remaining pillow onto Seonghwa's face this time, boy fidgeting in surprise, popping his face out of the blanket to observe him as the loud kids play rock paper scissors behind the door. "They're so annoying and that's your fault."
Seonghwa can't help but feel a little giggly inside, lying on his back and staring into the ceiling. Hands on his chest and feet swinging. Above him, he finds white and calmness. The total opposite of whatever is happening at the other side of the door, where now San laughs incredibly loud. Seonghwa's stomach sinks a little deeper and warm, those giggles twisting around bringing something new and sweet.
His birthday.
Twenty-two.
In bed and knowing his bandmates will give him everything he asks, even if it is just for a day. Happy.
The door opens abruptly, Hongjoong still putting on his shoes — still groaning under his breath, saying something close to Jongho being the only one with rights in that house — eyes half closed, when Yunho jumps inside the room and into his body, bridal carrying him outside. Seonghwa swears he sees Hongjoong hitting the dancer on the face before the door is closing and someone is pressing his back into it, staring at him.
San.
Standing on his elbows, Seonghwa is conscious of how the blood pours delicately over the skin of his cheeks. A normal reaction when it comes to San. San's eyes not leaving him, still wearing his cute pajamas and unkempt hair cutely falling all over his face. He is also blushing.
The morning blush, Seonghwa bites his tongue.
"Hi," San's voice drips like liquid sugar, Seonghwa's heart stopping for a sweet second just to hammer ridiculously fast the next one. Soft laugh escaping his lips as he sits down and covers his face with both hands, once again hearing footsteps getting close, softer this time. Mattress sinking when San jumps in. "Happy birthday, Hwa."
He sits next to him in the bed, fingers curling around his wrist to put his hands aside, finally meeting his eyes there. Upclose, Seonghwa has always thought San looks ethereal.
Like the stars shining each night on the sky. The warm breeze blowing and waving his hairs during summer. And that strange feeling sinking on his heart when he is standing in the middle of the stage, looking at the world that opens in front of him, like he found the peace he has been seeking for all his life.
San flows around like that.
With his little moles and the dimples digging on his cheeks, the eyes that glow in dark brown and the fluttering eyelids, lashes so long that create beautiful patterns over his cheekbones. San looks so gorgeous. Always so gorgeous.
"Happy birthday!" The boy repeats, this time a little louder, throwing his body all over Seonghwa. Hugging him tight, attached bodies falling back into the mattress. San's giggles paint the skin of his neck, where his face lays.
Seonghwa gives himself a little birthday present and holds close into the boy for a few seconds before letting him go. Filling his lungs with the fresh soap scent dancing out of his hair. San laying next to him in bed, smiling.
"What was all that?" Seonghwa asks then, hands between his thighs, looking directly into San's eyes. "Why did Yunho take Joong out?"
San's response is a laugh.
"Because it's your birthday."
"Are you kicking Joong out of the house as my birthday gift?" They both giggle. "I know I said I would kick him myself if he doesn't stop throwing his clothes everywhere, but we can't live without a leader."
"Mingi would be a great leader!"
"We will be dead in three days. No. Three hours."
San rolls in bed with his eyes closed, lips parting as the high pitched giggles flow like some special melody that's being playing directly from his chest. Seonghwa's favorite soundtrack.
In every love story, there's a time where the main character realizes they've been in love with the other main character all this time. For Seonghwa, that took place long ago, so long he doesn't remember how was his life without having his eyes attached to San, without his giggles and hugs and soft cheek kisses when he buys food for them. Sometimes he finds himself laying in bed after a tiring day practicing, legs whining and muscles crying, mind wandering around the fact his life must have been so gray before he met San, because since then he has only been seeing a explosion of color in front of his eyes.
"We wanted to give you a day of rest," San explains when he finally stops laughing, laying over his stomach and swinging his feet in the air. "I won, so I am the one in charge of you."
"In charge of me?" Seonghwa raises a brow.
"Yep!" San pronounces the 'p' strongly, making Seonghwa giggle as well, one hand quickly moving to cup his face. San has really squishy cheeks. He likes that about him. "The boys will be on charge of food, cake, balloons and keeping Hongjoong out of your room. Where you shall stay for today."
Seonghwa sighs, titling his head.
"All day in bed?"
"All day in bed," San confirms, "with me."
That last part has Seonghwa's body shaking with some unknown feeling of excitement. Rushing all over his flesh, heart speeding up, hands a little sweaty when San stands up on his knees and reaches both hands toward him. Placing them on his cheeks, cheekily squeezing before he is leaning towards without courtesy.
A soft peck falling over his lips like the first leaf touching the ground with the start of fall.
Seonghwa tenses at first, eyes shut, air blowing from his nose. Lips so delicately placing on top of his that it feels like he just walked into a mirage. A dream he will wake up soon as it's impossible for a heart to beat like that — for San kissing him so softly it seems like he loves him.
Damn.
San loves him, of course he does. Seonghwa loves him too, of fucking course he does. But the way they look into each other's eyes is totally different, it's like snow falling into the ground. Beautiful, yeah, but soon melting away and vanishing when the sun shines brightly. Seonghwa is that water snow.
San loves everyone. The members, the fans, the managers, the staff. He is always hopping around like a bunny, giving everyone the love they deserve. Seonghwa bites his own tongue thinking of how selfish he has became with the pass of years.
Wanting San's love all for himself.
"Why aren't you kissing me back?" Seonghwa swears to God he will never get tired of San pouting, not ever forgetting how he does it right into his lips, pressing them together one more time. Stealing all the time left on his body. Seonghwa is dying. He totally is dying the day he is turning twenty-two.
Remember me as a hero.
"Hwa," San bemoans, fingers sinking softly on his shoulders. Seonghwa opens his eyes wide, gulping. In front of him, San is still pouting, frowning a little. "Thought you wanted this."
"What?" Seonghwa's voice is barely a breath.
"Kissing me. Thought you wanted it," San sighs, moving back, but not enough to give him space to breathe again — Seonghwa is sure he won't be breathing normally ever again. Pressing his palms onto the mattress, throwing a smile at him that can be described as something quite sad. Seonghwa admires the way he throws his head back and exposes his neck, pajama shirt falling over, collarbones pointing at him as sharp as the blade of a sword.
"Who told you that?" Seonghwa opens his lips, gaping like a fish out of water. Air bubbles hot twisting inside his throat as San raises a brow.
"You."
No fucking way.
"That Saturday we went karaoking," San says and Seonghwa's stomach reaches the bottom of the ocean. Nervousness filling every inch of his body like gelid liquid dripping everywhere. "You got super drunk and when I tucked you in bed, you said you wanted to kiss me."
Oh, lord, I am such an idiot.
"I'm— Fuck, I'm sorry, San. I shouldn't have said that, I'm—"
"I really wanted to kiss you, too, that night," San admits, making his throat dry. "But you were wasted, and if we kiss, I want you to remember."
"You—"
Seonghwa doesn't finish that sentence, biting hard onto his lower lip and looking down. At the place where his hands come together, right over his abdomen. The place where San's hands are crawling soon, fingers intertwining with his own, carefully holding him close. Seonghwa is shaking.
"Don't you want to kiss me?" San says, forehead pressed to Seonghwa's, staring into his soul.
Seonghwa has been waiting for this day half his life. He, indeed, can divide his life in pre-San life and post-San life. And his hands are dying to move to the back of his head and pull him closer, until they're breathing the same oxygen and his life can be totally rearranged as pre-kissing San and post-kissing San. For hours, letting their bodies drip in desire, their hearts swell with all the warmth they can engulf from each other's bodies, their brains detaching from them and for a moment, just a second in Seonghwa's whole existence, just lay in bed for a day. Together.
But—
"You're doing this because is my birthday?" He wonders, chewing on his lip.
"Jesus, Hwa," San sighs, sounding equally annoyed and funny, moving forward and kneeling him on the stomach. Seonghwa is falling to his side in just a second, lips pressed in a thin tight.
"That hurt," he lets out the burning air from his lungs.
"You really think I'm that horrible? I wouldn't kiss you if I didn't want it too, and you should be glad I won Yeosang at rock-paper-scissors, because he wanted to use this excuse to sleep for half the day. And I just want to kiss you until you beg me to stop."
"I never thought you, hmmmm, liked me?"
San snorts, hands flat against Seonghwa's abdomen. Butterflies fluttering like a storm there, trying to get close to these hands. These fingers made to be threading on his hair as he kisses him like they have all the time in the world.
"I don't like you, I think by now I'm totally head over heels you."
"How so?"
Seonghwa wants to laugh, out of pure panic. San looking so beautiful in front of his eyes that it must be illegal. Looking that good. Just messy hair and a lot of sleepy eyes. Seonghwa loves the way San wraps his arms around his neck and brings their lips together once again, not kissing him but spilling there all the words that, deep down, and also on the bare surface, Seonghwa wants to hear the most.
"Because I'm in love with you since day one," his lips shake when he says it, Seonghwa squeezing his eyes shut again. And maybe, leaning in forward until their lips are touching, until San is smiling.
That's enough. Seonghwa doesn't need to listen more, already feeling like he reached cloud seven on heaven. San molding perfectly on his arms as he sits on his lap, legs wrapping around his waist and hands squeezing his cheeks hard as they kiss.
Sunlight kissing them at the same time, apartment so quiet Seonghwa might be dreaming for sure.
After so long daydreaming of tasting San's lips, he finally has the chance to press his fingers into his tiny waist, the one he knows how to move so good to drive him crazy on the dance room, and devour him. Softly, totally allowing San to run his tongue all over his lips and lead the kiss, but still whining when they part.
San laughs so beautifully soon he is the only song on Seonghwa's mind. Or maybe he was it all this time. All the months, and years, and seconds lost in the hands of fear.
His back meets the mattress again, guided by one of San's hands, still on his chest. The other moving slowly over the skin of his arm, tailing a way of kisses all over his face. The corner of his mouth, his nose, his cheeks, a million kisses exploding there, his forehead. Cheeks again, quickly flowing to his jaw. Neck. That hand that was softly caressing him now getting under his shirt. Hot over the skin of his abdomen, body tensing at the sudden contact. San's hand all over his skin.
And God, how much that burned.
Gasping, Seonghwa stands on his elbows, blush on his cheeks already finding a home on his ears. He looks at San, who gives him a dimple smile as he bends over his abdomen. Lifting the shirt, lips glued to the skin that opens for him it.
He groans, falling back into the mattress, both arms over his face. Yeah, he is about to wept hard and loud. Because this is too much.
"Tummy kisses are a must," San says from his spot between his legs, thumbs brushing his skin, circling as he pampers his tummy with kisses. Butterfly kisses dancing with the butterflies roaring inside his body. It's kinda beautiful how San's voice sounds cute and hoarse at the same time when he drips more words into his skin, "don't be shy, Hwa."
Seonghwa tries, moving his arms back and looking at the ceiling again. Swearing he sees the stars when San moves up and kisses his pecs, the scenario changing to bright heaven when he moves down instead, fingers pulling his pants down just so he can kiss his thighs.
He doesn't speak because he knows there's not going to be much more than San's name coming out of his throat. For that he remains silent, allowing San to kiss every inch of skin on his body, coming back to his lips after a while and pouring happiness into them so easily his chest lets out all the butterflies and soon he is alone with the quietness.
After so long. So long wanting San around his arms like he is now.
"I'm about to make your twenty-two birthday memorable," San kisses him deep.
"I think it's already the best birthday I've ever had in years," Seonghwa is kissed deep.
"No, I'm gonna make it the best of your life. Not in years, but your whole lifetime. You won't forget about this."
When Seonghwa looks into his eyes, he swears he sees honey dripping from there. And it's beautiful how a person can hold so much sweetness in his eyes. A golden soul sparkling in front of him.
"Okay. But, would you let me kiss your tummy, too?"
San laughs, but he also lays down and opens his arms for Seonghwa to crash on top of him.
For a moment, he doesn't care about what will happen when they step out of the bed and make it out of the room. He kisses San's body as softly as the sunlight falling over them.
And when San's giggles get tangled in his hair as he pampers him in kisses and his body reacts so sweetly to his touch, Seonghwa feels in love.