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The night before they had made love. It had been their first time together. It had been his first time ever. Preconceptions aside there was little about the act itself that could be called delicate or elegant. In it’s own way though it was perfect. They had kissed, they had touched and the build up had been slow. They could have stopped at any time but slowly things had drawn on. Touches had become more and more insistent. Breathing had become gasped and ragged and they had fallen together over the edge of passion, collapsed and trembling in one anothers arms. Sleep had come easily enough after a quick shower. Constant contact. Touching and kissing. They were tired and it had been a relief to fall back into bed and into oblivion for a time. Lost to heavy, dreamless sleep.
When he awoke his body felt weighted down. His legs felt like lead from the unfamiliar movements required by the night before, and he ached. His lower back and… he shifted. It was a little uncomfortable, that could not be denied, but it was not even close to approaching unbearable. There had been so much care in each and every touch. Nothing had been rushed. Nothing had been decided one sidedly. Nothing was pushed. They could have taken either role. His uncertainty had made this way easier. Ren’s guiding hand and confidence had relaxed him and made it so natural. Even an action which before would have been so entirely alien.
A glance to the side filled his sight with gold. Soft, tan skin and dark strawberry blonde hair laying in tumbled falls over the white pillow and bare shoulder alike. All he could think for the moment was how lucky he was to see this sight. How beautiful his friend… his lover looked in that moment. In the light of morning and the warm haze of love. Had he always looked so perfect? Had his lips always had that exact curve to them? Had the lower one always been slightly fuller…? Was his skin always that smooth…? Ren was lovely, he had long ago accepted that. But before now he had never felt quite such a need to study his lovers looks.
They were not the reason he had fallen for him. That was not to say they were not admirable… but they had never been anything out of the ordinary to him. He had seen Ren grow up. He had known him nigh on all his life. It had taken much, much more than his attractive face and the grace of puberty to endear the blond to him. It was only getting to know him, seeing past the fog caused by years of anger and separation that actually brought him to love him as he did now. Seeing who he was under the mask he showed the world. Seeing the side of him that he kept hidden and protected from the eyes of people who could harm him. He had come to know him again over the years. Come to know his feelings, his fears and honestly see the beautiful heart that his friend had concealed with shallow actions and remarks designed specifically to mislead and misguide peoples impression of him.
The window had caught his eyes, the warm light of late morning filled the glass and he found it hard to tear his eyes away. It was idyllic. He felt at peace. Whole. It was not a new feeling though. They had made love, yes. That was very true. But in reality it had chanced nothing, the rush of endorphins had been bliss, and the haze he was left with was pleasant and almost left him feeling a touch drowsy, but that was all. The love he felt for the man beside him had been just as intense before as it was now. His desire to be close to him. To stay with him? That was nothing new. He was happy. He felt peaceful. He was brought out of his reverie however.
He looked down as the gentle catch of fingers to his elbow caught his attention. Sunkissed skin showed warm against his pale arm. The touch was uncertain. Unsure. It felt as though a heavy sigh or an unhappy look would be enough to send it fleeing, retreating… for a moment he was sure he could feel his heart clench tight in compassion for the man who felt the need to reach out to him in such a manner. Dark blue eyes flicked up to bright. The summer sea looked back at him with a touch of fear. The midday sly showed him the vulnerability that was gripping its gentle heart. He could almost read the thoughts he knew were racing through his lovers mind. Had he been too insistent? Had the time been right? Were there regrets?
He smiled gently down at Ren. Slim fingers reached out to trail over the smooth, golden skin of the blonde's cheek. The touch was soft, reverent almost. He was just so beautiful, even with his smile hidden. The curve of his own lips grew a little as he saw the worried eyes close over, some of the tension fled, relaxing, allowing some of the uncertainty to leave his frame.
Ren cared so much, it was impossible not to see. He knew the blond loved him. He knew that the fear that gripped him was the fear that this would be it. That he would be pushed away. Rejected. Accused of wanting this and nothing else, perhaps? The unconscious fear that he would matter less to yet another person than they mattered to him. Inside the brash, confident exterior a scared and heartbroken young boy was still hiding. The fears of childhood had not left the adult, and now they needed soothing.
A warm rush of care and concern washed through the blue haired idol as he leant down to press a soft kiss to his lovers lips. Could he reassure him? He was happy. He felt warm. He felt safe and he wanted nothing more or less than what they had now. A life together. A future in the arms and heart of the stunning angel that had spent the night beside him, holding onto him almost desperately. Wrapped tightly in his arms. The lips pressed to his were soft, they always were. He felt them smile into the innocent touch and when he drew back again his heart filled with love. The soft smile that had blessed his lovers lips was warmer than the sun. A look of trust. A look of love… and he knew that look was just for him.
“Ren…”
“...Ah?”
“You were uncertain. You feel better now?”
“Mm.. I was. And I do.”
“You had no need.”
“I can get a little caught up in the moment. I am so-”
“Hush. I know. It was the right time to do so. The perfect moment to be caught up in. Do not dare say sorry to me. I am not.”
“Ah…” A soft laugh followed, and Masato found himself kissed once again, the lips that pressed to his firmly now were smiling and warm again. How could he not smile in return? Ren was his happiness. His freedom… the least he could be in turn was the blondes support. Someone to hold tightly to. Someone who would be constant, frank and honest.
“I know you love me, Ren..”
“..Mmm.” He felt the smile pressed to his lips grow a little at the muffled words.
“I love you as much in return.”
He felt the blonde shift a little closer as their kiss ended to him and he brought an arm around to press his hand to his back, meaning to press him closer as he rolled back, letting his back rest on the mattress now, the weight of his lover settling on top of him. The tumbled fall of golden strands splayed across his pale skin and the pillow as Ren’s head pillowed on his shoulder.
“We are forever. ”
His final words were not answered verbally, but by another little kiss. A soft brush to the join of his neck to his shoulder, and a happy smile. The reward was feeling any remaining tension leave the body that lay on top of his, replaced by contentment and comfort. If this was the future he had in store…. then how could he be anything but delighted to face it? He could face anything else the world chose to throw at him if only he could keep the man currently sleeping lightly in his arms close to him.