Chapter Text
shin ryujin had always known that she was going to die. it was only a matter of time, she surmised, before her luck ran out and she could cheat death no longer. there wasn’t always going to be a knight in shining armour to her rescue, like the kind, frail old man who had taken her into his care when she was abandoned and starving on the streets at 2 years of age. she wasn’t always going to have lady luck shining down on her, as when the gang of robbers who raided their home instantly slit the old man’s throat but decided to spare her life out of pity.
what shin ryujin had never expected was for her death to come in such a high-profile manner. in fact, many looked upon such a death as courageous and honourable, to the extent of more than a few individuals voluntarily throwing themselves into the slaughterhouse.
shin ryujin was going to die in the hunger games.
as she made her way towards the stage, the sense of relief amongst the audience was palpable, but ryujin fully understood. better an orphan with no friends or family perish than someone who actually had something to live for...
~
shin ryujin had always known that she was going to die. what she had absolutely never expected, though, was that she would meet such a gory, gruesome end. the ‘highlights’ of the previous editions of the hunger games she had just watched still fresh in her mind, she retched involuntarily, waves of nausea surging through her body.
fuck. ryujin was seriously contemplating if it would be favourable to simply swallow a handful of nightlock in the arena and at least dying a painless, quick death.
that couldn’t possibly be worse than the fate suffered by the poor girl who had her head ripped apart from her neck by a district 3 brute; or the boy who had been strapped tightly to a tree while a deranged district 5 female tribute used her teeth to rip off his flesh slowly piece by piece; heck, there had even been a psycho who collected the eyeballs of all the tributes he had killed and ate them while chuckling maniacally after his victory.
“how are you feeling?” ryujin’s district 10 mentor, julia, smiled sympathetically at her from across the table.
“that...sneak peek of how i’m gonna die...definitely whetted my appetite,” ryujin pushed her untouched plate of pancakes and scrambled eggs away.
“at least you’re handling this better than ethan is.”
ryujin merely scoffed. the poor boy who had been reaped along with her had burst into tears on the spot and not long ago, had to be forced apart from his similarly disconsolate family to board the one-way train ride to his coffin. their first interaction had been when the sniffling boy had offered her a snot-covered hand to shake, which she was like, totally not accepting. well, she did offer a curt nod at the very least. ryujin wasn’t entirely heartless.
“do you know how i won the games?” julia clasped her hands together and leaned forward in her seat.
“you weren’t in the video.”
“that’s because my victory was anything but highlight-worthy,” julia smiled somewhat ruefully. “no one gave me a chance. i had no fighting experience, no sponsors, no allies, but one thing i could do was hide. i hid myself successfully for 4 days while everyone else wiped each other out until only me and this district 4 couple were left in the arena. one night, when i was forced out of my hiding place after the gamemakers sent the mutts after me, i chanced upon a small cave and had half a mind to spend the night there when i heard weird noises. eventually, i realised they were...you know. so i sneaked up on them both, grabbed a sword from the ground and just stabbed them both as many times as i could till long after they had both died.”
ryujin nodded slowly, trying to process whatever she had just been told.
“basically, I’m telling you, don’t give up without a fight, you’ll be surprised by what you are capable of when your life is on the line.”
“you must’ve been an unpopular winner, huh?”
julia laughed heartily. “unpopular is putting it kindly, considering i robbed the gamemakers and the viewers of the inevitable drama of the last two standing being a couple. on a more serious note, i’m not just trying to brag about my victory, there’s a very important lesson to be learnt from it. i need you to understand and abide by it strictly. only then will you stand any chance in the games.”
ryujin raised her eyebrows. “well, fire away.”
“you do not, i repeat, do not, get emotionally attached to anyone in the hunger games.”
~
for someone who was going to die in a matter of days, ryujin felt strangely at peace. if anything, she was even somewhat thankful that she had been given the chance to experience luxury at least once in her life. (at the cost of her lifespan coming to a close, but still.)
for one, the food was like nothing she had ever imagined. as someone who had essentially spent her entire life consuming staples like bread and rice, ryujin did not expect herself to have rich taste. alas, premium beef, escargots and sashimi proved her very wrong.
perhaps even more importantly, the girls were fine. with a capital f. regrettably, ryujin wasn’t exactly a social butterfly capable of hitting girls up at will, so she settled for appreciating the visual overload while consuming her meal alone.
she watched sharon from district 1 burst into a fit of giggles at something her district partner had said, slapping his arm repeatedly; ivy from district 5 picking at her food moodily, and wasn’t there this other cute korean career tribute she had noticed earlier...
“hey, may i join you?” a preppy voice jolted ryujin from her people-watching daze.
welp. in front of her stood cute korean girl, smiling so brightly and brilliantly at her that ryujin felt as if she was staring directly into the sun. she may even have begun squinting reflexively, it was that overwhelming.
cute korean girl cocked her head to one side and raised her eyebrows, and it was only then that ryujin realised she had been staring both blatantly and dumbly for the longest time. “oh, um, sure! please, no problem, um, take a seat.”
wow, real smooth, ryujin. where was a hole in the ground when you needed to sink into it and disappear into the depths of the earth...
instead of turning tail and avoiding the awkward, ineloquent idiot that was ryujin, cute korean girl simply beamed once again and settled into the seat opposite her.
“shin ryujin, right?”
ryujin nodded, unsure how to respond. however, she didn’t need to know how to respond to cute girl’s next action, as her body seemed to act on its own accord. because cute girl pouted. she fucking pouted. and her heart may or may not have skipped a beat as a result.
“i don’t know if you just have a resting bitch face or if i’m bothering you.”
“mostly my face, probably, but you are bothering me,” ryujin paused to take in the half-offended, half-disbelieving expression etched on cute girl’s face and grinned before continuing. “mainly because you’re too pretty.”
she wasn’t sure where this sudden bravado and confidence had sprung up from. it was either the fact that she had absolutely nothing to lose from flirting recklessly when her death was imminent in a few days’ time or she was encouraged by cute girl seemingly being interested in starting up a conversation with her.
cute girl’s lips curved upwards. “you’re not too shabby yourself, ryujin. by the way, i’m shin yuna from district 2 and boy am i glad to meet a fellow korean here.”
“i would be glad too if we had more than a few days to get to know each other before i die.”
“don’t say that...” yuna pouted again, and ryujin concluded that as long as she saw a few more of those up close, she could die happy.
“unfortunately, its a forgone conclusion unless you protect me from your scary career friends.” ryujin fluttered her eyelashes teasingly, but was taken aback when yuna nodded vigorously.
“they think of me as an ally but i don’t think of them as allies, if you know what i mean.”
“does that mean you’re a backstabbing bitch who i shouldn’t trust as well?”
“maybe it just means i’m more interested in allying with you.” yuna offered her hand to ryujin to shake, wearing a somewhat hopeful expression.
ryujin didn’t take it. “why me, though? i have no skills and i’m not gonna be able to charm the audience.”
“the heart wants what it wants, so stop asking so many questions and shake my hand.”
~
the first thing ryujin saw upon stepping foot into the practice arena was an arrow whizzing past her and nestling itself into the heart of a human dummy. jesus christ. she made eye contact with the district 12 male, ashley, who had just hit the target with unerring accuracy. he smirked smugly at her. evidently, even the non-careers were no pushovers.
the practice arena was intimidating, to say the least. the district 4 career tributes, lance and carol were throwing knives with frightening speed and accuracy, the downright mortifying district 1 male tribute, aragone, was absolutely pummelling a punching bag which thus continually swung wildly and there was even someone swinging deftly between the branches of the makeshift trees. great. just great. even fucking tarzan would be out to get her.
as unsettling as their skill levels were, ryujin wasn’t really interested in any of the tributes aside from a certain pretty blonde girl, who she found...playing golf?
“hey, ryu!” yuna exclaimed happily as she swung the stick she held with both hands hard, driving the ball straight into the goal effortlessly.
“is this some weird career tribute method of killing people?” ryujin asked half-teasingly, half-curiously.
“what the hell, no! you can’t possibly not know what floorball is, right?”
yuna clucked her tongue upon seeing the confused expression on ryujin’s face. “its a sport, you dummy. the best sport in the world. i won many awards back in my district, you know?”
“ok, showoff, i get the point. but is floorball really going to help you survive in the arena?”
“i just wanted to have some fun doing the things i love most in the world before we all descend into savagery,” yuna looked serious for once, an air of melancholy surrounding her.
ryujin didn’t think it was the right time to ask, but there was a pressing question on the tip of her tongue that she couldn’t hold back any longer. “didn’t you like...volunteer to participate in the games? i would have expected you to be cold-blooded, ruthless and determined to win but you seem so relaxed.”
yuna smiled weakly in response. “if volunteering means being forced to train for the games since young, then i suppose i did.”
upon meeting ryujin’s earnest eyes urging her to continue, yuna sighed. “back in my district, they forced each family to send one child for special training to eventually become a career tribute. i was an only child. they took me when i was three, and i haven’t seen my family since. most people buy into the narrative of volunteering as tribute being glorious and prestigious, but i hated it. that’s why i spent most of my time playing floorball instead of acquiring combat or survival skills.”
“that’s...horrible. i’m sorry.”
“don’t be, it is what it is. anyway, even though i didn’t train as much as the rest, i’m no slouch with these bad boys.” yuna abandoned her stick and led ryujin to a collection of axes. “let’s get you up to speed, shall we?”
~
ryujin was going to have to kill someone. two someones, to be exact. she couldn’t imagine it or wrap her head around that fact. how could any human being live with blood on their hands?
as the first tribute to be assessed by the gamemakers, aragone certainly didn’t seem to have much reservations if any, grabbing both the poor, scared, butt naked human puppets by their necks and slamming their heads together relentlessly until his entire body was drenched in their blood. he even looked satisfied with his handiwork, the heartless, inhuman monster.
up next, sharon at least spared the humans from long, drawn-out suffering, a firm slit to each throat also earning her a score of 10 nonetheless. yuna’s district partner, eric strangled both humans to death simultaneously, earning himself a score of 9.
the more ryujin watched, the more her stomach lurched and the more despondent she felt. what had the world come to? how could the deaths of these innocent human beings with their entire lives ahead of them be justified at all? they had families to feed, dreams to pursue and people they loved. they had something to fight for. they practically deserved the gift of life more than ryujin did.
ryujin shook her head, trying to clear the convoluted mess of thoughts swirling around within her head. she glanced back at the arena and almost instantly became transfixed by the sight of yuna striding into the arena. yuna smiled sheepishly at the two humans and bowed, almost as if she was apologising, before they went charging straight at her.
in a matter of seconds, both humans lay motionless on the ground, knives protruding from their chests. ryujin hadn’t realised she had been holding her breath. it was a reminder that for all that yuna was an absolute baby around her, she did possess a trained, professional, battle-hardened side to her. (ryujin’s not gonna lie, it was lowkey hot as fuck)
“that’s my badass girl!” eric hollered, throwing his arm around yuna’s shoulder and pulling her way too close to himself for comfort.
what the fuck. the emotion that hit ryujin hard like a truck was something she had never experienced before. it was rage searing through her body in massive waves that required every ounce of her self-restraint in order for herself to not be consumed in the deep, dark, fiery red that was all she could see.
the greasy fucker would not take his hands off yuna. ryujin took deep breaths and focused intently on each and every massacre unfolding before her eyes rather than watching yuna get smothered by that disgusting, sorry excuse of a human being.
“shin ryujin of district 10, please step forward.”
ryujin snapped out of her rage-induced stupor and strode forward with a startling clarity. she pictured the two humans before her as eric, gripped the axe as tightly as possible and swung wildly, completely unhinged.
when the red mist finally cleared, ryujin recoiled in shock at the nauseating sight before her, both bodies maimed and disfigured beyond recognition. she didn’t understand. how had her most savage instincts been awoken out of the blue, just like the flick of a switch? she staggered clumsily away from the bloody mess she had created, only to be greeted by the sight of yuna wincing as eric’s hand wandered naughtily across the expanse of her body. it was then, when ryujin began viewing the world through red-tinted goggles again, that it hit her square in the face. it was then ryujin realised that she, in fact, did have something to fight for. more specifically, someone.
~
they met again on the rooftop that night, the final night before all hell would break loose. ryujin claimed it was a coincidence, that she simply couldn’t sleep and decided to get some fresh air. no, it definitely wasn’t because yuna had told her earlier that she spent hours on the rooftop each night before she slept. yuna smiled knowingly, but simply gestured for ryujin to take a seat beside her.
“you look sad.”
“i wouldn’t say i feel sad. its more like i’m trying to come to terms with the fact that my life as it has been for the past 18 years effectively ends tomorrow. once we enter the arena, nothing will ever be the same again.”
yuna hummed. “do you have any regrets about how you lived your life?”
ryujin thought about it and eventually nodded. “i regret never having the chance to love anyone.”
“not even your parents?”
“my parents abandoned me when i was a toddler. for my whole life i’ve just been desperately attempting to make ends meet, doing odd-jobs from day to night, scavenging leftovers from rubbish bins to satiate my hunger, and i simply didn’t have the time or means to form tight-knit relationships with anyone.”
“we got dealt real shitty hands by fate, didn’t we?” yuna laughed, but it was hollow. “i’ve never loved anyone either. floorball has been my first and last love all my life.”
as if she had been possessed all of a sudden, ryujin’s body started running on autopilot. she sidled up close to yuna, pressing against her side and wrapped one arm around her shoulders.
“it’s not too late.” yuna turned her head to meet ryujin’s eyes, upon which ryujin inhaled sharply. yuna was beautiful, she had always known that, but the moonlight illuminating her facial features made her look more captivating than ever.
“what do you say we be each other’s firsts?” ryujin held her breath. she had laid bare her feelings right there in the open, for the first time and probably the last time ever. the sudden spike in her heart rate, the sweat beginning to form on her palms and the restless twiddling of her thumbs made ryujin acutely aware that she was nervous. well, maybe more like fucking terrified. while she tried to convince herself that she had nothing to lose by following her heart and going for it, she didn’t know how she would handle losing the only thing she had ever been sure about in her life.
ryujin’s mind felt like a warzone. with different trains of thoughts battling for supremacy and her focus being on her jumbled mind, she failed to notice yuna leaning in slowly. she then felt something on her lips. it took her a good three seconds to realise that yuna was fucking kissing her. oh my fucking god. ryujin froze, eyes open so wide they could probably pop right out of their sockets. she stood still as a statue for a good five seconds before yuna pulled away, smirking devilishly at her.
“i understand this is your first kiss, but be more receptive please?”
ryujin needed no further encouragement. (julia’s advice long forgotten)