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If there is anything Loki values above all, it is privacy. And the combination of his sharp tongue and his notoriety as the school’s prankster, is enough to ensure him just that. Not that anyone could actually prove he had been behind someone locking Volstagg with a skunk in the janitor’s closet. Or that he had his fingers in that unfortunate accident with Sif and bleach in her shampoo bottle. But still, it made people give him a wide berth, leaving him mostly alone. And Loki likes it that way. It is infinitely easier to ignore stupidity of others when it is kept away from his eyes and ears.
But there is always an exception to every rule, and this particular exception comes in the form of six feet worth of muscle and golden skin, coupled with shoulder length blonde hair some girls would kill for, and the eyes the colour of the clear summer sky.
Thor Odinson, the most popular guy in the school, and the proverbial bane of Loki’s existence. Ever since the first time he saw him – wide smile plastered all over that exaggeratedly pretty face, no matter that he had been only six then – when he moved a few houses down the street from where Loki lived.
They had been friends once – best friends, according to Thor – chasing after imaginary dragons and playing war games. Sometimes, they even made grand plans about one day fleeing home, and seeing the world together, while lying on the freshly cut grass, their shoulders touching as they stared at the sky.
Loki loathes to admit it, even to himself, even now, but those were the happiest moments of his life. But as time went by, Loki stayed the odd, private kid, the sullen nerd trailing after the smiling, golden boy who everyone wanted to be friends with. Even at the cost of suffering Loki’s company.
But Loki has never been good at sharing. Neither his possessions, nor his affection, and least of all, Thor. So he wrecks everything. It is a twisted logic which guides his confused mind, born out of bitterness and hurt, fueled by envy and resentment. Better he be the one to cut Thor out of his life before Thor does it himself. So he stops answering Thor’s calls, he ignores him, and no matter how cold and venomous Loki becomes, Thor tries, for months on end, and Loki is not sure whom he hates more, himself of Thor, every time Thor looks at him with deep hurt and confusion in those clear, blue eyes.
And then, one day, Thor simply gives up. Gives up on Loki. And, even if he is a very talented liar, Loki cannot quite swallow his own lies how that is exactly what he wanted.
The years pass, and the distance between them only grows bigger and deeper, but there is one thing that stays stubbornly the same – the tightening of Loki’s chest each time he meets the look of those blue eyes, and no matter how much he tries to pretend it is aversion he feels, he knows better, and that is something he will never forgive Thor. He will never forgive him for worming his way inside his heart so deep, Loki would have to tear it to pieces to get him out.
But time heals everything, so why not a silly crush? Or at least that is what Loki tells himself every time Thor throws a hand around Sif’s shoulder and pulls her close, muffling the sound of his laughter by burying his face into her hair. But Loki does it with gritted teeth, as jealousy twists in the pit of his stomach, making every breath he takes taste sour.
Fortunately, there are only few months left until the end of their last year of high school, and then he will leave this wretched town, and Thor, behind, never to be seen again. That thought, that hope, is the only thing that makes it even remotely bearable to keep seeing Thor seemingly everywhere he goes these days.
And then, naturally, Thor fucks everything up for Loki.
******
“What are you reading?”
Loki is not easily surprised, but then again, he is never disturbed by anyone, least of all Thor, so it is only natural that his only answer to Thor’s question is a fairly accurate rendition of a goldfish.
Thor waits another moment for Loki’s answer, that annoyingly bright smile not faltering an inch. But when Loki remains silent – and gaping, must not forget the gaping – Thor reaches out and plucks the book from Loki’s loose grip.
Thor takes one look of the cover, and a strange expression passes across his features – a mix of apprehension, hurt and something that looks strangely similar to panic – before it morphs once again into the usual causal cheerfulness.
“Hm. So you’re already preparing for college.” He says lightly, offering the book back to Loki.
Loki blinks at the offered book, as if it has suddenly turned into a slimy creature from space, but takes it anyway.
“I still haven’t decided where to apply.” Thor continues, as if they haven’t been ignoring each other for the past two years. As if it had been only yesterday they were wrestling on the lawn in front of Loki’s house. “Dad wants me to study corporate law, but… I don’t know.” Shrugging, Thor rakes his fingers through his hair, his smile thinning out a fraction. “I’m not sure it is the right thing for me.”
“What?!” Loki finally manages to speak, high-pitched and bordering on hysterical. And, naturally, Loki can talk in circles around many of his teachers, but, apparently, it takes only one smile from Thor to reduce him to speaking in monosyllabic gibberish.
Thor blinks, frowning. “Are you feeling okay, Loki?”
Loki blinks, then takes a deep breath, but when he opens his mouth to tell Thor to fuck off from his bench, Thor inclines his head, smiling at Loki as if he had been missing him with the same intensity Loki had been missing Thor.
Words dying on his lips, Loki does the only thing he can think of, he flees.
******
Thor is a stubborn bastard. That Loki had somehow managed to forget in the last two years with no contact between them, but now he is painfully reminded of that fact.
“There are dozens of empty benches in this park. Why don’t you kindly fuck off and find your own?”
The annoying bastard only smiles wider, and Loki swallows a groan of helpless frustration at the determined set of his shoulders and the stubborn gleam in Thor’s eyes. “I have already found myself the perfect bench. This one.”
“This is my bench, Odinson.” Loki hisses. And it is true, he has been coming here, to this very bench for years, seeking peace and quiet, and no one has ever bothered him.
“I’m fairly sure this is public property, not your own.” Thor smiles, and Loki really, really wants to smack that smug smile off his face. Making a show of settling himself more comfortable, Thor adds. “I see why you like it. It’s a very comfortable bench, but you shouldn’t worry, Loki. I’m willing to share.”
Loki fumes silently. He could simply walk away and find a new bench. That would be a reasonable thing to do, but it would mean admitting defeat, and he would rather eat glass than allow Thor to drive him away. So he settles for ignoring him, while waiting for the inevitable – for Thor to give up once again.
Thor doesn’t.
******
“Are you trying to win some bet?”
Thor blinks at Loki, seemingly caught off guard. “I… I’m not sure I follow, Loki.”
An entire month had passed, and Thor still insisted in pestering him every time he came to the park. Loki tried to stay away, but he caved after a week. A matter of pride, not his silly infatuation winning over his common sense. Yeah, right.
“Have you made a bet with those idiots you call friends about me?” Loki sneers, his hands clenched tightly into fists as he glares at Thor.
“No. No. Loki, of course not. Who do you take me for?” Thor says, looking both hurt and offended.
Loki rises his eyebrows. “Currently? A stalker.”
Thor chuckles. “Well, you are easy to stalk.” He smiles, and Loki’s heart does that damn clench and flutter thing it always does when confronted with that smile. “You always come to this bench.”
Loki takes a deep breath, and counts to ten. “What will make you stop?” He asks, his voice coming out strangely calm for all the maelstrom of conflicted emotions raging inside him.
Thor’s smile fades, his expression turning tentative. “You will.” Thor’s voice comes out sounding unusually soft, almost sad. At Loki’s blank look he adds. “When you leave.”
Loki blinks, trying to make some sense out of Thor’s words, but finds none. Only a deep ache that is starting to well inside his chest, making every intake of breath seem an almost impossible task.
“What are you talking about?” Loki manages finally, frustration and confusion of the last month seeping into his voice. “What does me leaving have to do with you?”
“Don’t you know?” Thor asks, a strange, almost timid half-smile playing on his lips.
A low growl falls from Loki’s lips, and he is seconds away from punching Thor, not that the lumbering fool would actually feel it. Loki stands greater chance of breaking his arm on the fool’s face.
“I’m not fucking clairvoyant, Thor.” Loki snaps. “Of course I have no idea why you’ve suddenly decided to turn into a stalker.”
Thor hesitates only a moment, but then he straightens his shoulders, his jaw clenching in determination. “Because you’re leaving soon, and I have waited enough for you to grow out of whatever it was that made you turn your back on me.”
Loki blinks. Then he opens his mouth. He repeats the process several times before his mind comes online. Along with white-hot fury. “What the fuck are you talking about? Have you not enough sycophants? What is it that you need? Another adoring follower, to trail after you with stars in their eyes?”
Shaking with rage, Loki rises to his feet, and Thor follows, coming to stand dangerously close, the expression on his face that of the sky before the storm.
“What did I do, Loki?” He demands in a dangerously low voice, his fingers griping Loki’s elbow with bruising force. “One day we were best friends, and the other you wouldn’t even talk to me.”
Loki sucks in a harsh breath, fighting against Thor’s grip, but Thor is strong, freakishly so, making Loki’s struggle futile and ridiculous. The look in Thor’s eyes is one Loki has never seen before – furious and hurt and accusing, and by the looks of it, Thor has no intention of releasing Loki before he gets his answer. But the truth is out of the question, and Loki’s mind had decided to supply him with exactly zero lies, so Loki settles for an oldie but goodie. “Fuck you, Thor.”
The expression on Thor’s face darkens, a growl tearing from his throat. Loki feels his heart skip a beat, a flash of panic blossoming in his chest, but now is too late to regret the choice of his words.
Loki manages to release a completely undignified yelp before being dragged – none too gently – flush against Thor, Thor’s other hand curving against the back of Loki’s neck, tipping Loki’s head back and smashing their lips together.
Loki has never imagined his first kiss, but if he had indulged in such pathetic activity, it sure as hell wouldn’t be anywhere near the reality of it – the bruising force of Thor’s lips against his, the clash of their teeth, and the insistent push of Thor’s tongue in his mouth. It is messy, wet, and Loki has no idea what to do with his tongue, his nose keeps bumping into Thor’s as he tries – he is not sure whether he is trying to get away or come even closer to Thor – to move, and how the hell do people breathe through this.
Thor breaks the kiss, but keeps the grip on the back of Loki’s neck, bringing their foreheads together, his other hand still gripping tightly at Loki’s elbow. Not that Loki would be able to run now, his body feeling boneless, his breathing shallow, his mind a blank slate as he stares at those impossibly blue eyes so close to his own.
“I don’t need a follower, or a sycophant, Loki.” Thor says, his thumb tracing circular patterns on the nape of Loki’s neck. “Only you.”
The Earth doesn’t tilt sideways, there are no fireworks or a flock of birds flying above them, but between one breath and the next, Loki’s entire world changes.
Also, their second kiss is a whole lot better.