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If I Can't Have You, They Can't Have Me

Summary:

Anakin gets jealous. Obi-Wan is concerned. Our boys get together.

Notes:

Day Thirteen of my challenge, my generator gave me Obikin.

This is my first fanfic of this pair, so it might be a little ooc. But, still, enjoy!

Comments and Kudos always welcome!

Happy Reading!

Work Text:

Holnagua was a hot planet on the outer rim, possibly even hotter than Tatooine, and Anakin hated every moment that he spent there because it reminded him too much of his home planet. 

 

It was easy to adjust, to begin with, shed a few layers, buy some local clothing from the daily market in the town centre and wear that instead. Take solace in the shade; be happy that all buildings are equipped with air conditioning; enjoy the coldness of the night. 

 

But, the longer they stayed, the more frustrated that Anakin got and, towards the middle of their stay, he had decided that his frustration had nothing to do with the temperature. 

 

It was after they had both elected to abandon their Jedi robes and sport the local traditional clothing of bohemian harem pants and no shirt, that Anakin realised that he had a problem, a large, Obi-Wan-shaped problem. 

 

He knew that his master was attractive, in an objective kind of way, but to see him wandering the streets of Kares, bare chested, glorious lines of muscle on display, gleaming with sweat, had Anakin grasping very tightly onto his self-control. 

 

He is your master. There is no place for such attachment in Jedis, we have more important priorities. 

 

So, Anakin ignored it, or tried to at least, and made a point of leading whenever they were out in public, scared that, if he were behind his master, he would do something that could jeopardise their future with the Order. 

 

It had been hard to ignore the feelings spiralling deep within his stomach; the call to him from the force; the way his heart beat faster whenever his master entered a room; the way his heart soared with happiness when he made the older Jedi smile or laugh; the way that he felt flares of affection for his master that stretched beyond the roles of ex-padawan and teacher; the gentle waves of peace that rolled off him of an evening, sprawled out under the stars; the feeling of home that blasted within his chest when he walked into their temporary residence to find Obi-Wan sitting at the table, pouring over one of his many books.

 

He’d tried so hard to push down those feelings. But, he found himself watching the older Jedi, loving the way that the early morning sun hit his hair and made it sparkle; the way that the night sky was reflected in his eyes. He loved how dazzling his smile was; the look in his eyes when he study; the determined flush to his cheeks during their sparring session; the triumphant noises that he made when he’d make a breakthrough with some research; the affectionately proud looks that he would throw Anakin when he remembered a vital part of his training.

 

Then, just as he was learning to avert his gaze, came touches. Soft, affectionate touches. A hand on his arm, catching his attention; a palm flat against the small of his back, leading him through a crowded path; fingers twirling his hair as they lay side-by-side in the sand and brushing it out of his eyes as he drifted to sleep; a pair of lips against his temple, soft, barely there, as he floated in the land between sleepfulness and wakefulness. 

 

Then, even more surprising, came the looks from Obi-Wan. Affectionate glints when Anakin brought him a cup of tea in the morning or draped a blanket around his shoulders late at night; longing gazes when Anakin flirted his way into a cheaper price on some essentials; heated looks when Anakin took a dip in the lake not far from their residence. 

 

Just like that, his feelings spiralled out of his control, so blatantly obvious, even without the force, that Anakin was surprised that he hadn’t been reprimanded by the older Jedi. But, then, through their bond, he’d felt a familiar thrum of affection being pushed back and his heart soared with hopefulness. 

 

If Obi-Wan felt the same, then they could do this, they could have a relationship, even if it were only in secret. 

 

But, then came the fateful day that crushed Anakin’s hopes and dreams and sent him running from the Jedi. 

 

They had decided that evening to go to the local cantina for dinner, rather than cooking it themselves, and Anakin had decided that that night was the night that he would tell Obi-Wan how he felt and make the proposition that they should have a relationship. 

 

But, as he stepped into the cantina, heart thumping rapidly against his chest, eyes searching for Obi-Wan amongst the crowd, he froze, a wave of nausea crashing into him with such strength that he felt dizzy and had to brace himself against the wall as it passed. 

 

Obi-Wan was there, definitely. However, he was otherwise indisposed, a local resident in the booth beside him, tipping their heads towards one another, speaking in hushed tones and Obi-Wan had a look in his eyes that Anakin thought was made for him alone. 

 

It was incredible how wrong he’d been. 

 

Anakin cringed, the smile that he had previously worn dropping from his face, and turned on his heel, storming away from the cantina and from Obi-Wan. His heart sank, leaving him feeling empty and alone, and his stomach curled around itself, making the nausea a more permanent resident. 

 

“Anakin?!” Obi-Wan yelled and Anakin could feel his confusion and fear seeping through their bond. 

 

It took everything in him to ignore the older Jedi, to square his shoulders, dip his head and keep walking. 

 

“Anakin, please, stop!” 

 

He shook his head, clenching his fists to keep himself walking, and lengthened his strides, putting a greater distance between him at the older Jedi. 

 

“Ani, please!” Obi-Wan’s desperation, his fear, strengthened and gripped Anakin’s heart in an ice-cold vice, making him falter in his step, but he shook the feelings away, erecting his mental shields to keep the Jedi Master out. 

 

Even with the shields up, he could still feel Obi-Wan; could still sense the shift in the force as he called out;  could hear his heavy footfalls, desperate to catch up. 

 

“Anakin, slow down!” 

 

To spite him, Anakin sped up, taking a shortcut back to their hut, hoping that it would get him away from Obi-Wan, but his master remained determined and kept with him matching him pace for pace. 

 

“You can’t lose me, Anakin! I can feel you, I know where you’re going!” 

 

For the first time since their little chase began, Anakin called out to the Jedi Master, “It’s the thought that counts, Master Kenobi!” 

 

Obi-Wan faltered in his step, “Master Kenobi?” 

 

Anakin rolled his eyes and steadfastly ignored him, continuing his journey through the winding streets, sighing in relief when their hut came into sight across the sand, near the dip of the horizon, and he took off at a run towards it. 

 

He crashed through the door and skidded across the stone flooring, narrowly avoiding a collision with the table before he stomped towards the bedroom, fully intent on staying there until their stay on Holnagua had ended. 

 

But, his Master, it seemed, had other plans. Before Anakin could take a step into the room, a hand wrapped around his wrist and pulled him backwards, back pressed flush against a bare chest. 

 

He fought against his master’s grip, thrashing against him in an attempt to escape, “Let me go!” He growled. 

 

Obi-Wan’s grip tightened, leaning down to whisper in his ear, “Not until you talk to me.” 

 

“I don’t want to talk to you.” Anakin hissed, “I want to be alone.” 

 

“No, you don’t.” Obi-Wan whispered and Anakin, despite his anger, felt himself agreeing. He didn’t want to be alone, he wanted to tear into Obi-Wan for what he saw at the cantina.

 

“No, I don’t! But, I do have a few choice words for you.” He growled, using all his strength to break free from Obi-Wan’s grip and grinned when it worked. He whirled around to face the Jedi Master, arms crossed over his chest, and took a few steps back, putting a good few feet between them. 

 

“Do I mean nothing to you? Have I misread these last few days? Am I so blinded by my own emotions that I manipulated the feelings that you had for me?” He questioned, tears pricking in his eyes at the heart wrenching fear that settled in his chest. 

 

“Anakin-” 

 

He cut him off, softly shaking his head, “I tried so hard not to love you. I tried so hard to push my feelings away, to live in the ways of the Jedi, but it didn’t work. It never worked and it never will.” He dragged a frustrated hand through his hair, pulling harshly at the strands. 

 

Obi-Wan made a soft noise of disagreement and stepped forward, his fingers wrapped around Anakin’s wrists, coaxing his grip away from his hair, “Listen to me, Anakin.” 

 

Anakin shook his head and made the movement to pull his hands away, stopping when Obi-Wan tightened his grip, “Let me go.” 

 

“I won’t, not this time. Please, dear one, hear what I have to say.” Obi-Wan pleaded. 

 

Anakin rolled his eyes, “I don’t need to. I know what you’re going to say: there’s no place for attachments when you’re a Jedi. It’s against the Jedi Code to love. You have to release your emotions to the force, come meditate with me.” He spat, “I’ve heard it all before and I’m sure I’ll hear it again. So, save your breath and let. Me. Go.” 

 

Obi-Wan growled in annoyance and surged forward, pressing his lips against Anakin’s, pulling the Knight closer to lock his arms around his waist. Anakin melted into the embrace, bringing his hands up to cup Obi-Wan’s cheeks, and whimpered into the kiss. 

 

The walls that he had previously erected came slipping away, allowing Obi-Wan free passage into the depths of his mind, and he mewled again, the familiarity that was Obi-Wan signature washing over him as the Master probed around in his mind. 

 

The emotions that washed through their bond left them both breathless, the sheer devotion; the unrelenting trust; the warmth of happiness; the iciness of fear and insecurity; but, ultimately, it all simmered down into one emotion: pure, unadulterated love; true and complete and perfect. 

 

They curled around each other, both physically and mentally; the force singing its praises around them, flooding them with warmth and protection as they lost themselves in one another. 

 

They pulled away, every molecule in their bodies calling out to the other, crying in appreciation at the residual feel of lips on lips. 

 

Obi-Wan rested his forehead against Anakin’s, smiling breathlessly, and placed a hand at the small of Anakin’s back, pulling their bodies together until the only part of them that wasn’t touching was their lips. 

 

“I- You- What?” Anakin stammered, unable to form a coherent sentence as he relished in the memory of what had just happened. 

 

Obi-Wan snorted and shook his head, “So elegant.”

 

“Shut up.” Anakin breathed, a light blush spreading across his cheeks, “What about the woman at the cantina?” 

 

Obi-Wan gave him a confused look, brows furrowed and head tilted to the side, before recollection flashed in his eyes, “You mean Rosalie? She’s an old friend. An ex-Jedi Master.” 

 

Anakin blushed and averted his gaze, feeling suddenly stupid for reacting in the way that he did, “Oh, I’m sorry.” 

 

Obi-Wan gently squeezed his hip, “Don’t. You didn’t know. You just reacted to the information that you had. I’m sorry that I didn’t talk to you about her sooner.” 

 

Anakin shook his head, eyes cast down to the floor, refusing to meet the master’s gaze, “You didn’t need to. I mean, it’s not like I meant anything to you.” 

 

The Master made a soft noise in the base of his throat and lifted a hand, placing two fingers under Anakin’s chin to force him to look up, “You mean everything to me, Ani.” He whispered, such sincerity in his voice that it knocked the breath out of Anakin’s lungs. 

 

He cupped Anakin’s cheek, running his thumb across his cheekbone, and grinned when the younger Jedi leant into the touch, his eyes slipping shut as he relished in the contact. 

 

“Do you want to know why I met with her?” He fixed Anakin with a questioning look and chuckled when the younger Jedi hastily shook his head. 

 

“You don’t have to tell me!” He blurted. 

 

Obi-Wan fondly shook his head, “I want to tell you, dear one.” Anakin blushed at the nickname and Obi-Wan grinned at the reaction, “She’s an ex-Jedi Master because she ran away from the Temple after she fell in love with her Padawan.” 

 

Anakin stiffened and narrowed his eyes at the Master, “What?” 

 

“I was talking to her because I want to leave the order.” Obi-Wan stated softly, smiling affectionately at the young Jedi Knight. 

 

Anakin recoiled in shock, “You want to- what? Why?” 

 

The Jedi Master beamed and his gaze softened as he stroked his thumb across Anakin’s cheekbone again, “Because if I can’t have you, then they can’t have me.” 

 

Anakin blinked owlishly at him, jaw dropping open in surprise, “You’d give up your position in the Order for me?” 

 

Obi-Wan nodded, “Without a second thought. I meant what I said: you mean everything to me.” 

 

“So, we leave?” Anakin whispered. 

 

“If that’s what you want, of course.” Obi-Wan replied, heart thumping in his chest and a thrill of insecurity flashed through their bond. 

 

“More than anything.” Anakin breathed and leant forward, pressing his lips against Obi-Wan’s for the second time that evening, leading him gently into their bedroom. 





Meanwhile, at the Jedi Temple on Coruscant, Master Yoda’s ears twitched amidst his meditation and he grinned widely, eyes still shut as he felt a shift in the force, originating from Anakin and Obi-Wan. 

 

Whilst they had lost two incredible Jedis, it was to a cause that no one had any chance of stopping and the force itself sung praises to the new pair, its thrum of approval reverberating through every trained Jedi. 

 

A pair with a connection as strong as Obi-Wan and Anakin’s was rare and it should be enforced, not stopped. Master Yoda would do everything in his power to protect them, they were still his students, after all.

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