Work Text:
A thought that occurred to Marinette over and over again in the days following Master Fu’s departure was one she didn’t want to acknowledge. Yet she couldn’t help but think of it. If, for whatever reason, her future self had to give up her title as Guardian, then she would end up losing her memories, wouldn’t she? She would end up forgetting everything --all of the experiences that shaped who she was, her past as Ladybug, her family, her friends, everyone and everything she loved. . . . just the notion of it overwhelmed her, to say the least.
“Tikki?” She whispered before she went to bed that night. “Do Guardians always lose their memories once they give up the Miracle Box?”
The kwami stared at her chosen with sadness in her eyes, nodding her head. “Unfortunately, yes,” Tikki said. “It’s the only way the Miraculous holders can be kept safe.”
The answer unnerved her. How would her future self ever cope with this? Marinette could have everything she’d ever wanted--a family, a steady career, loving relationships--and still lose it all. It had been absolutely terrifying when Master Fu had lost his memories, because the worst part? He’d never know the life he’d had. He would never remember everything he’d gone through. The hardship, the pain, the joy, the love. . . . nothing had remained.
So how could she ensure her future self wouldn’t be losing everything once she had to pass the title of Guardian on?
When the answer came to her a couple of days later, she wanted to laugh at herself. Of course that had to be it! If she kept a written account of what happened throughout her life, then perhaps she would still be able to remember the emotions that came with each memory, if not the experience.
And so she sat down at her desk, pulled out a pen, and started to write.
#1
Dear future me,
My name is Marinette Dupain-Cheng, and I am fifteen years old. I’m writing these letters in case I ever end up losing my memories when I give up my title as the Guardian of the Miraculous. This all feels a little surreal to me, and it probably will to you too, but I’ll try to explain everything as best as I can. . . .
#4
Dear future me,
It’s been a couple of months since the Miracle Queen incident, and Hawk Moth and Mayura have been pretty quiet. Chat Noir and I expected them to be a lot more forceful since they have the upper hand--after all, they know all the identities of our allies, and somehow got their hands on Master Fu’s deciphered notes of the grimoire--but instead it’s been business as usual. Not that Chat and I are complaining, our workload has been a lot smaller, but I can’t help but wonder about the other things they could have planned. . . .
#7
Dear future me,
Recently I told Chat Noir I was writing letters to myself. He was horrified I was thinking of losing my memories sometime in the future. I told him you could never be too prepared. After he got over the initial shock, however, he offered to hold onto the letters for me. I told him I’d think about it. I’m a bit hesitant--how do I know he won’t read them? I’ll have to admit though, Chat Noir has become a lot less playful than he was a couple of months ago. He’s even stopped calling me “my lady” and “bugaboo”. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say he’s got a girlfriend now, but no girl could ever stand that silly cat’s puns. . . .
#11
Dear future me,
I can’t understand Chat Noir sometimes. For years we’ve had a similar dynamic, and while it’s changed quite a bit, I feel like it’s changed even more in these past couple of months. I find myself drawn less towards Adrien--I haven’t been for months, actually--and instead drawn towards my superhero partner. But it doesn’t make sense. And besides, Chat has a girlfriend now. I wish I could move on as easily as he did, but I just don’t feel like I should be playing with someone else’s feelings while I can’t even make out my own. . . .
#15
Dear future me,
Hawk Moth’s getting stronger. It’s been over two years since I became the Guardian, and I feel like the end of Hawk Moth’s reign is finally coming. There’ve been a lot more akumas now than ever before. Chat Noir and I have now been patrolling way more frequently. We’ve also considered giving out some Miraculouses permanently, so we don’t have to constantly leave battles. I’m worried about what might happen to Chat and I; we’re exhausting ourselves, but we don’t have a choice. Slacking off could mean letting Hawk Moth win. . . .
#22
Dear future me,
We did it. It’s been six years since we got our Miraculous, and we’ve finally defeated Hawk Moth. But it came with a price: it turns out he’s Gabriel Agreste, and Nathalie Sancoeur is Mayura. Adrien’s devastated. I’ve tried my best to comfort him, but how can I, knowing I was the one that helped put his father behind bars? He’d hate me if he ever found out. He’s had a rough couple of months--first Kagami broke up with him, and now this. I just hope he’s okay, and knows that if he ever needs anything, he can turn to me. . . .
#23
Dear future me,
Chat Noir is Adrien. How did I never notice? Of course they’re the same person. They have the same eyes, the same smile, the same sense of humor, they’re both kind, brave, sickeningly sweet, and I’m just so, so happy they’re the same person! I can’t imagine what Adrien’s going through right now. Figuring out his father was Hawk Moth was already hard, and it turns out he also helped turn him in. Plus, it turned out that his mother had never “disappeared” after all. It’s going to take a long time to put everything that’s happened with Hawk Moth behind him, but we’re working on it. He’ll heal, eventually. . . .
#29
Dear future me,
Here I am, twenty-three years old, and I’ve just gotten engaged to the love of my life. I’m just so amazed at everything that’s happened in the past couple of years. I’ve been dreaming of marrying Adrien since I was a young girl in collège, but I never imagined that it would actually happen. Our relationship has definitely had its ups and downs. But despite all that, we’ve made it this far. I love him so much, and I can’t wait for the wedding. . . .
#36
Dear future me,
Looking back and reading all these letters astounds me. It’s been over a decade since I started writing these letters, and I’ll have to admit, while the thought of losing my memories crosses my mind sometimes, I don’t worry about it nearly as much as I did when I was younger. For the time being, nothing much has come up in Paris that the superheroes need to handle, which means I won’t be needing to train anyone as the new Guardian for a while. But I know if I ever do lose my memories, Adrien will be there to help me every step of the way. . . .
#38
Dear future me,
Paris feels different--there’s something out there that unsettles me. It’s been quiet for a couple of years, but it seems as though that’s going to change. Will Paris need to call on its superheroes again? I don’t know, but one thing’s for sure: if Adrien and I do need to actually fight supervillains, it’s going to be much harder. We have steady careers, a family to run, and the kids to take care of. It seems like we’ll have to find a new Ladybug and Chat Noir, which also means I’ll have to begin training a new Guardian. Which means a higher chance of me losing my memories. Gosh, I have absolutely no idea what the future’s going to bring and I really don’t like it. . . .
“Mari?” A voice called. She looked up to Adrien standing at the doorway. “What’re you doing here so late?”
She didn’t respond, finishing up the latest letter and putting the pen down. Marinette let out a sigh and met his eyes with her own. Immediately Adrien realized what she was doing.
“Bugaboo,” he murmured, coming closer to her. She stood and placed the piece of paper in the filing cabinet where she kept every single one of the letters. He wrapped his arms around her and she let herself melt into his embrace.
“I’m afraid,” she whispered. “I don’t know what’s going to happen in the future. I. . . . I don’t want to forget you, or the kids, or--”
“I’ll be here,” Adrien said. “I’ll always be here, my lady. We’ll get through this together.”
Marinette knew he would be, and she would forever be grateful for that. They would get through this together. Yet at the same time, she knew the most he could do was support her. Because in the end, she’d be the one losing her memories. She’d be the one forgetting everything that had happened to her. She would end up hurting the people around her, and she’d be the cause of that.
But for now, she let herself lean on him. He’d be her rock through everything, and she knew that no matter what happened, he’d always stick by her side.