Chapter Text
Logan, Age 6:
Logan hated his town. California as a whole was a very accepting place for people with and without soulmates alike. Of course, his family had to live in a town full of Soulists. His parents explained it to him a while ago.
“Some people are what we call Soulists,” Mom had said. “They don’t like people without soulmates. They think they’re… They’re not as special.”
“Of course, that’s not true,” Dad said. “You’re very special. Just… in a different way than we are.”
Logan didn’t like being special his way. His classmates didn’t like it either.
“Take this, loser!” Jake said as he pushed Logan over. Logan had been leaning against a wall during recess, trying to stay out of everyone’s way.
Jake's friends started laughing. “Again!” Before he could even try to get up, Jake kicked Logan’s face. The kick was barely hard enough to make his nose bleed. Still, it hurt a lot.
“Teacher!” a familiar voice yelled. Sure enough, Patton came running over. He yelled for a teacher again as Jake and his friends left still laughing. Patton looked around. None of the adults heard his screaming, too distracted by other kids.
“It’s okay.” Logan stood up, holding his nose.
“But you’re bleeding, and Mrs. Melly said we need to tell a teacher if someone’s hurt.” Logan shook his head. Things like this happened every day. He’d learned by then that the teachers here didn’t care. If he had a soulmate, that’d be a different story. “When my nose gets all bloody, my moms get toilet paper, but I don't have any. What do I-?”
“I’ll go to the bath-” He cut himself off as Patton started to take his shirt off. Logan was about to stop him, but then he saw his soulmark. It was a light blue heart with glasses that was, fittingly, right over his real heart.
“Use this.” Patton said, holding the shirt out to him.
Logan blinked a few times before shaking his head. “No, I’ll just go to the bathroom. You need your shirt.”
“Oh, right. Oops.” He put it back on. “Go to the bathroom and I’ll get a teacher.”
“No, it’s fine.”
“But-”
“You tell them every time and nothing happens. Thank you for helping, but don’t tell anyone. I don’t want another note home.”
“But…” Patton frowned. “Okay, but I’m going to the bathroom with you.”
Virgil, Age 7:
Virgil hated his soulmark. Most people have theirs on their upper arm or torso, but his is on the left side of his neck. It was a purple cloud with a white lighting bolt coming out of it. He would do anything to get the ugly, terrible, good for nothing thing off his skin.
Subconsciously, his hand moved to his torso, where he had many burn scars under his black shirt. He didn’t remember getting them, but he didn’t remember a lot of things, so it was fine. All he knew was that his father got mad one day and tried to get rid of his mark. It was all in vain, as the mark just moved to a new place every time. Virgil didn’t know if his dad forgot soulmarks did that, or just didn’t care. He didn’t know a lot of things.
He got up and held his ear against his bedroom door. He could hear the TV in the living room. His parents would probably leave him alone for a little while. He sat on his bed and took off the jacket he was always required to wear. He smiled at the sight of a new message from his soulmate on his right arm.
“Dear soulmates,
Hello! I hope you are all good. I’ve had a great day. We had show and tell and everyone in class loved my Prince Eric doll. Some of them said I shouldn’t like dolls cause I’m a boy, but Dad says I shouldn’t listen to them. We are having pizza for dinner later. I’ll talk to you again tomorrow. Bye!!!!!!!!!!!
Love, Roman.”
Virgil giggled as he read the message over and over again. He jumped when he heard the door open and hurried to grab his jacket.
His brother, Dee, walked in. “Mom wanted me to get you for-Hey!”
Virgil jumped up. “No! I was just-”
“Mom! Dad!” Dee ran to the living room. Virgil put the jacket on and chased after him. “Virgil was reading his arm.”
Mom gasped from the kitchen as Dad stood up. “Really? This is the third time this week. How many times do we have to go over this?”
“Dad, please-”
“Come with me.” He grabbed Virgil’s arm and dragged him over to the closet. He opened the door and lightly pushed Virgil inside. He didn’t bother fighting back as the door closed behind him, tears streaming down his face. “Now, repeat after me: I don’t have any soulmates”
“I..I don’t have any soulmates.”
“People with soulmates are weak.”
“People with soul… soulmates are weak.”
“No true member of the Connors family has soulmates.”
“No true member of the Connors family has…”
Dad sighed. “Has what?”
“Has soulmates.” At this point, Virgil was almost sobbing.
“Good. I’d normally let you out in an hour, but three times in a week is far too many. I’ll come get you later. Think about who you want to be and where your loyalties are. I love you, son.”
Dad walked away. Virgil waited until he couldn’t hear footsteps anymore before he finally let himself sob. The closet was dark, and Virgil was scared of the dark. Virgil was scared of a lot of things.
Roman, Age 7:
Roman hated his brother. Well, hate wasn’t the right word. Disliked a lot but in an affectionate way that could only exist between twins? Yeah, that’s better.
Remus never let him do his own thing. It was always, “Roman, play this game with me,” then “Roman, come outside with me,” then “Roman, help me with this coloring book.” He could never settle on one activity for more than ten minutes.
This time, it was “Roman, let’s do our homework together!” Roman wanted to scream, but held himself back. At least this was something he needed to do anyway.
“Hold on,” he said, “I’m gonna write something for my soulmates.” He took out his marker and started writing about his day. He had no idea if his soulmates liked his daily messages, but he couldn’t help himself. He felt so lucky to be a Courier. While being able to sense about where his soulmates were like his brother would be great, he liked being able to talk to them. Plus, it wasn’t like Remus could just go off to find them. Soulmates aren’t allowed to meet until they’re at least in high school.
Once he was done, he joined his brother in the living room. “Okay, let's do it.” Remus cheered as they got started. They asked each other questions as they made their way through the work.
“I’m home!” Mom called as she walked through the door.
“Welcome back, honey,” Dad said from the kitchen.
“Mom!” Remus got up and ran over to Mom, giving her a big hug. Dad came out and gave her a kiss on the check.
“How was the meeting?” Dad asked.
“Great. Obviously, we’ve gotta be careful about how we do this, but the protest is still on.”
Roman didn’t know much about his parent’s work. They lead a group called SAUD, or Soulists Against Unchoosen Degenerates. Apparently, a lot of people in Arizona were Soulists, which was great. Roman had heard a lot of bad things about people without soulmates and was glad to not know any of them.
Patton, Age 9:
Patton hated school. He didn’t used to. He looked forward to coming back every weekday and hanging out with his friends. That was before his parents started to become more well known.
His moms were huge activists for the rights of everyone regardless of soul status. Since their area was mostly Soulists, they spend almost all their time outside work organizing protests for the sake of those without soulmarks. They’d appeared on the news a few weeks ago, making their name rather recognizable in their community.
Patton was happy for his moms, truly. Sure, his friends’ parents made them stop hanging out with him, some of the teachers gave him dirty looks, and Logan wasn’t even in his class anymore, but that was fine. He knew his parents did important things.
He was sitting in class when a random wave of fear hit him. The fear wasn’t his, but rather one of his soulmates. Mama explained it to him a while ago. “You’re an Empath.” she’d said. “That means you get to know what emotions your soulmates are feeling. The stronger the emotion, the most easily you can tell.” When Patton asked why one of his soulmates was almost always either sad or scared, she didn’t have an answer.
Patton didn’t like being an Empath. He’d much rather be a Courier like Roman. Then he could write messages to his other soulmate and make them feel better. He couldn’t do anything right now but be sad.
Logan, Age 11:
As he walked up to the door of his new school, he couldn’t help but be sad he didn’t go to school with Patton anymore. He knew they hadn’t been together much for a while, but he was Logan’s friend. Patton defended him when no one else would, not even the teachers.
Still, Logan knew he should feel grateful. His parents paid a lot of money to get him into a private middle school where they had a no tolerance policy for any Soulist or Free Spirit bullying. He asked his parents what Free Spirit meant, and was shocked to learn that there were people without soulmates that thought they were better than people with them. He couldn’t understand that, but didn’t see why his parents would lie.
He quickly found his new classroom. He waved at his teacher as he sat down at a desk in front, for the first time in a while not fearing the idea of others attention to himself. A girl with blond hair and a blue dress sat next to him. “Hey, I’m Sarah.” She held out her hand. He shook it.
“Logan.”
“Cool! Where’s your soulmark?”
Logan’s old fear started to come back. “W-What?”
“I have mine on my ankle. I’ve never heard of anyone else having one there, but Mom says lots of people do. Is yours there, or is it on your arm or something? Ohh! I bet it’s on your shoulder.”
“Well, um… I… It’s on my back, actually.” He regretted it the second the words left his mouth. He got a new start and the first thing he did was lie.
“Oh, that’s so cool.”
“Excuse me,” his teacher said from her desk. “You’re Logan Smith, right?” He nodded, not knowing when she started paying attention. “Can you speak with me outside?”
She led him out the door and knelt in front of him. “Am I in trouble?” he asked.
She shook her head. “Not at all. I just heard you say you have a soulmark. Did your mom and dad tell you to tell people that?”
“No, I just… I didn’t…”
“It’s okay if they did. I just want to know so I can help you. Some very bad people make their kids lie. If that’s what’s happening, please tell me. You won’t be in trouble either way.”
“They… They didn’t do anything. I just… I got… I lied. I’m sorry.” He tried to fight back tears.
“It’s okay, but you don’t need to, okay? No one here will like you any less for not having a soulmate. If they do, come tell me and I’ll talk to them.”
He nodded. “I’m sorry.”
“You don’t need to apologize to me. Apologizes to your new friend in there. I’m sure she’ll forgive you. I’ll also talk to her about assuming other people have marks. We all need to be more tolerant, whether of other people or of ourselves.” She stood up. “And don’t lie about this anymore. Your parents could get in huge trouble if they’re accused of making you lie.” He nodded and they walked back inside.
Patton, Age 12:
“Dear soulmates,
I just found out something bad terrible. I know soulmates aren’t supposed to try and meet until they’re in High School, but I think I need help. It’s hard to explain, but basically Remus, who I thought all this time had a soulmate, didn’t have one. I’ve heard of people paying doctors off to pretend they’re kid has or doesn’t have a soulmate, but I didn’t think my parents would do that. I love my mom and dad, but I need to get Remus out of here. I want to help him but don’t know how. If you live near me, please come over.
24535 Maple St.
Phoenix AZ, 38420
Love, Roman”
Patton ran to the living room the second he was done reading the note on his arm. “Mom!”
She hurried over to him. “What is it, sweetie?” He held out his arm to her.
“We need to help.”
She stared at the message for a minute before grabbing her phone. “Go back to your room for a minute, okay? I’m gonna call your mama.”
He nodded and ran back, trying to ignore the feeling of deep sadness he was getting from one of his soulmates, probably Roman. Mom’s voice could be faintly heard from the other room. Patton knew eavesdropping was wrong, but couldn’t help himself. He held his ear against the door.
“I don’t know what we can do. Arizona is way worse than here when it comes to Soulists. Some stations are completely corrupt. It's possible getting the police involved could make things worse. What if they completely ignore Roman’s accusation and he just gets in trouble for trying to contact his soulmates?” There was a pause. “I don’t think there’s anything we can do. But how am I gonna tell Patton that? He loves his soulmates so much… Okay… Okay, I’ll wait for you to come back. Thank you.”
Patton backed away as he started to sob. They weren’t going to help him. Why won’t they help him? It was their job to help people discriminated against for their soul status. Patton was finally gonna be able to help one of his soulmates when they’re feeling bad and now he can’t.
Not thinking straight, he ran to his closet and grabbed some clothes. He emptied out his backpack and filled it with everything he thought he might need: clothes, toothbrush, the few dollars he had left over from his birthday. Then he jumped out his first-story window (proud of himself for managing to land without scraping his knee) and ran.
A bus stop was only a few streets away. Or… maybe it wasn’t. Patton very quickly found himself lost. He could’ve sworn it was this way, but he didn’t recognize anything here. Terrified and with tears in his eyes, he kept running to find something, anything to tell him where he was.
As he was crossing the street, he heard a panicked voice scream “Look out!” It was only then that he noticed the car racing towards him. He jumped back, falling onto the sidewalk. He looked around to find the source of the scream. The kid sounded about his age, but he didn’t see anyone around. The driver parked her car and ran towards him.
“Are you okay!?” She asked, kneeling in front of him. Patton was still crying, barely able to control his breathing. He could hear her continue talking, but it barely registered. ‘That was my other soulmate. It must’ve been. He’s a savior!’ The joy of interacting with another soulmate was overshadowed by guilt. His soulmate was able to help him, but he could never do anything to help back.
Roman, Age 13:
www.soulstatusalliance.com/message-boards/help-for-minors
Discussion: My Brother Doesn’t Have A Soulmate, But My Parents Are Making Him Pretend He Does
Posted By: Princey1937!!! 4:32 PM Nov. 13
Hello,
I live in Arizona and my parents are Soulists. I was too until I saw where my brother's soulmark is supposed to be and found out it wasn’t real. I don’t know what to do. I tried writing to my soulmates (I’m a Courier), but none of them could help me. I’m thirteen, and I know it was wrong to try and find them before I’m in High School, but I don’t know what to do. When I told my teachers, they didn’t do anything, saying I should lie. I wasn’t lying. I want to get my brother out of here, but I don’t know how. Does anyone have any ideas? I can tell my brother is hurt a lot by this. I looked things up and found out that lying about having/not having a soulmate can really hurt someone. If anyone can help, please respond to this. Thank you.
Replies:
4:50 PM Crofter$1991#!: I can personally relate to your situation. While I have never been forced to pretend to have a soulmate, I live in a Soulist area and my parents used to be Soulists. You are correct that lying about one’s soul status can cause a variety of psychological distress. The most common effects are extreme anxiety, dissociation, depression, and, in severe cases, many cognitive disorders. Therefore, it is important that you remove your brother from his situation as soon as possible.
I personally go to a private school that has strict privacy policies and forbids any discrimination of any kind. Throughout my research, I have found similar schools in every state, including very Soulist states (such as Arizona) and Free Spirit states (such as Maine). Even so, that would not completely solve your problem as he would still live at home. There are some high schools, including one I recently got into in southern California, have dorm options for certain people who get in. I do not know how old your brother is, but that could be a viable option.
I hope I have been helpful.
5:04 PM Princey1937!!!: I didn’t know there are schools like that. My brother is also thirteen, so we’ll be going to high school soon. Still, I don’t think my brother could get into a school like that. I looked it up and didn’t see any schools like that in Arizona. Is the school you’re talking about Southside? I saw that one offers scholarships for people in the arts. My brother isn’t good at school. He can barely pay attention to one thing for more than a few minutes. His only real chance would be getting in through something like that, since he’s a good artist (won some competitions at our school).
5:11 PM Crofter$1991#!: While I would normally be reluctant to share personal information online, as you should be as well, I will confirm that my school is Southside Private School. While they will accept people for artistic merit, your brother will still need to pass a basic education evaluation exam. I do not know your brother’s intelligence level, but based on your description he may struggle with this part. I have already taken and passed this test. I could offer assistance in tutoring if you would like to go through with this plan.
5:13 PM Princey1937!!!: That’s amazing! Thank you! I should warn you that I am not exaggerating when I say my brother can barely focus on anything. It’ll be a lot of work to try and help him.
5:14 PM Crofter$1991#!: That will likely not be a problem, as I have some tutoring experience. You should label this discussion as solved. I will continue this conversation in private messages.
5:14 PM Princey1937!!!: I will do that now :)
Virgil, Age 14:
Virgil’s new town somehow managed to make him hate it just as much as his last one, if not more. That was bizarre, given how the two places were completely different. As prominent members of the F3 (Freedom From Fate) Society, his family was recently asked to join the Free Spirit group down in southern California to rival the dominant Soulist population. That only ended up making Virgil’s terrible family situation worse.
Now, not only does he lie about not having a soulmate, but no one at school will talk to him because of it. Most families with kids without soulmarks move, and Virgil can’t blame them. He spent all his time at school hiding from everyone else, trying to ignore the constant anxiety and resist the instinct to read Roman’s latest message. He hadn’t read anything for years, not since his mom caught him using his Savior ability and… He didn’t like thinking about what happened after that.
One day, his teacher caught him drawing when he finished his work early. The teacher leaned over his shoulder. “That’s very good, Virgil,” he said.
“T-Thank you, Mr. Martin.”
“Have you considered participating in any of our art competitions?” Virgil shook his head. “Maybe you should. I think it’d be fun.”
“Thank you. I’ll… I’ll think about it.”
Mr. Martin stayed silent for a second. “Would you mind staying after class for a bit? I’d like to show you something.” Virgil visibly tensed. “Nothing bad. I promise, you haven’t done anything wrong. Just… I think I have a good opportunity for you.”
“Okay, I’ll stay.” His teacher smiled before returning to his desk.
Soon enough, the bell rang and most of the students raced out of the room. Mr. Martin walked over to Virgil with a piece of paper. “This has information on a local school, Southside Private School. It can be hard to get into, but you could probably do it if you also send in some of your art. Something great about this school is that they have great anti-discrimination policies.” He paused. “I’m not… ignorant to the problems this school has when it comes to people without soulmates. I know this must be hard on you, especially since you used to live in somewhere that was pretty much the exact opposite. This school should be able to help with that.”
Virgil took the flyer and read it. It all felt like a huge joke. ‘Hey, go to this school so you won’t be bullied anymore for not having a soulmate… even though you do have a soulmate.’ He wanted to laugh, but that didn’t seem appropriate.
He almost gave the paper back before reading the last perk listed: Dorms Available- First Come, First Serviced. Virgil smiled. “Thank you, Mr. Martin,” he said before leaving the classroom. While he’d still have to pretend to not have soulmates, he’d at least be away from his family for a little while. The idea made him ecstatic before the guilt set in. ‘What kind of person is excited to get away from their family? Dad’s right, I am a monster.’