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When Jaehyun would stare at you, it felt like you were the most beautiful person he’d ever seen.
The way his eyes would gaze at you so lovingly as his dimples adorned his sweet smile.
Being loved by him was like being wrapped in the softest blanket and sipping warm cocoa as you waited for the sunrise.
And that’s exactly what you were doing right now: waiting for sunrise.
The bags under your eyes were as dark as the days that fleeted by. Your trembling hands clutched the blanket closer to your body and the untouched mug of cocoa on the table, too, was cold.
Sudden coldness embraced your body, but you welcomed it.
“Is that you, Jae?”
“You didn’t sleep again...” His voice was as quiet as a gentle breeze, still, you heard it.
You finally looked up as the sun rose, its rays being partially blocked by Jaehyun as he crouched In front of your dejected form.
"You’re… back…” You whispered weakly.
The briefest of sadness passed in his eyes, but was quickly masked with a smile as he gave you a slight nod. The way his hair fell and brushed his face was enough to make tears well up in your eyes. You reached your hand towards him, but stopped when you were just a centimeter from touching him.
“Let’s have breakfast, okay?” He stood up, walking to the small kitchen of your once shared apartment.
—
You were sitting face-to-face with Jaehyun as you timidly sipped on your coffee. He was leaning back on his seat, just watching you. He didn’t really like the too-bitter coffee that you had been craving lately, however he did like keeping you company.
“I still don’t understand how you can drink something that bitter.” He chides playfully.
“Well…” You hummed, looking at your reflection on black pool within your cup. “It wakes me up.”
He feigned being deep in thought. “If only you slept enough…” his lips quirked into a small smile.
You rolled your eyes at his sarcasm. “Then be home more.”
“Love, I’m always home. Right…” he paused, raising a finger and pointing it at his heart, “Here.”
“Very clever, Jaehyun.” You laughed at his cheesiness, forgetting your coffee as you chose to drink in the moment with Jaehyun instead.
—
You were working late hours in the office when your phone started ringing. It took you awhile to find your phone amongst the haphazardly scattered files on your desk.
“Hello?”
“Good evening. I’m the officer assigned to Jaehyun’s case… could you come down to the local precinct?” the gruff voice on the line inquired.
“What? Jaehyun’s in trouble?” you asked in a panic-stricken voice.
The line went so silent that you thought it had been dropped. “Just please drop by when you can. It may help.”
With that, the call ended as you frantically left the office and the scattered mess on your desk. Your heart wouldn’t stop its erratic beating on your way to the precinct as much as you had tried to still it.
You swallowed the lump in your throat as you walked through the doors of the precinct. You threw the calmness you were desperately holding onto as you ran to the reception booth.
The lady behind the booth didn’t need to ask what you were here for. She’d seen you around too much, but at least it looked like you had more life now than the other times.
You couldn’t read the expression she held in her eyes, far too confused when she slipped you a phone encased in a ziplock bag. You took it wordlessly, slipping into the pocket of your cardigan, then leaving as fast as you arrived.
—
You arrived at your apartment, locking the door as you slid down against it. The phone slipped out of the pocket, its brightness blinding against the darkness of the room.
You glanced at it tiredly, seeing you and Jaehyun as the phone’s lockscreen. You were about to pick it up when you felt a presence in front of you.
“Can you go somewhere with me tomorrow?”
You heard Jaehyun ask as the light flickered from the screen. You didn’t look at him. You couldn’t.
You simply stuffed the phone back into your pocket and walked past Jaehyun. You refused to face him now. He could wait a little longer. He would wait until tomorrow, at least.
You huddled on your side of the bed as you felt a familiar sink beside you. You were turned away, but Jaehyun did nothing to ease the emptiness you were currently feeling.
He was cold. Unbelievably cold.
—
You woke up to see that the other side of the bed was already made up. It was as if he had never been there. You grabbed the pillow and held it close, inhaling the faintest trace of his scent.
There was a faint tap on the open door of your bedroom as Jaehyun stood by it. “I’ll be waiting for you there, love.”
“Jae, wait…” you sat up on your bed, still clutching the pillow close as you watched him look back at you. “I love you.”
Even with the saddest smile he gave you, it was still so beautiful.
“I love you, too, but…you know I have to go.” He tells you softly, but it still manages to break you as you watch him turn to leave again.
You got up from your bed weakly, grabbing your phone to call in an order.
—
You stood in a patch of lush green grass as you fiddled with the phone that was still in your cardigan. Jaehyun was nowhere in sight so you finally pulled out the phone and unlocked it.
The once cracked screen had been fixed and you could clearly see what had been typed in the notes app.
“I love you. I’m sorry.”
Behind the dark glasses you had put on, tears spilled from your eyes as your eyes skimmed over the note’s date.
You slowly knelt to the ground, placing the bouquet of flowers by the marble that had Jaehyun’s name inscripted on it. The note’s date perfectly matched the date next to his birthday.
You sobbed uncontrollably, reality finally breaking the illusion you had desperately held onto.
Jaehyun could only be a beautiful memory for you now.