Work Text:
Tsukasa had always wondered what it meant to see in color.
Oh, descriptions were aplenty - of artists and poets and musicians waxing and waning about love, and soulmates and all that jazz, and of the emptiness of a colorless life and the fulfillment of having them right next to you. They spoke of a life changing experience and of an old world renewed by the brilliance of dazzling, sparkling color.
Tsukasa had read his fair share (okay, maybe it was more of an enormous share, but really, who was counting) of these works back in his preteen days, and they’d left an impression on him, or more accurately, a hole in his heart, as if he was lacking something so integral to his life. He'd asked Tori about it once.
“Seeing in color?” Tori threw his question back at him with a raised eyebrow, “Tsukasa, have you been reading those god-awful dime novels about color again? I’ve told you those things are unrealistic - seriously, you’ve got to stop -”
“And how would you know, Tori-kun?” he retorted, making the other boy flinch ever so slightly, “Everyone I’ve met - from my parents, to my friends, who can see in color,” and here Tsukasa's mind summoned an image of a pair of best friends - soulmates - back in secondary school who’d been joined at the hip since they could even stand, “they all seem so happy, so, so-”
“Tsukasa,” Tori sighed from across him, “that’s because they’ve met their soulmates, not because they can see in color. There are plenty of people who go their whole lives without finding their soulmate. Are you saying they’ve led any less of a fulfilling, meaningful life?”
“It’s not that,” Tsukasa bit his lip, “it’s just…”
“You don’t need to find your soulmate to be happy, Tsukasa,” Tori assured him, “...and to be honest with you, I’ve always found the concept ridiculous. Someone - a single person - in the world you’re just supposed to be perfectly compatible with? What about all those stories where soulmates end up hating each other?” His "friend" struck a pose, “The Great and Powerful Tori-sama, of course, has no need for such a silly thing.”
Tori’s theatrics, as they always did, cheered him up slightly. “...Maybe you’re right, Tori-kun..”
“Of course I’m always right,” he assured, in him most magnanimous voice, “it is just one of the perks of having a brilliant mind. Anyway, even if you never find your soulmate, you still have that 'vampire', right? He seems to really like you."
And as Tsukasa struggled to assemble a meaningful reply, he considered the idea - for the first time, possibly, in his life - that he didn’t need to find his soulmate to be happy.
--------
Arashi’s phone buzzed against the wooden table, and the blonde was quick to swipe it off the table, tapping rapidly on the glass screen.
“Ritsu-chan seems excited, for some reason…” Arashi remarked offhandedly with her eyes locked onto her phone. Tsukasa smiled slightly, picking at his own food; his eyes drifted down to the platinum bracelet on his right wrist Ritsu had given him on their second anniversary, the bright half-heart of ruby shining in the light.
“I wonder what it is. His scarf finally came in the mail, maybe?”
Arashi didn’t reply.
“Narukami-senpai?” Tsukasa looked to his right, and there Arashi was, looking at him, eyes slightly widened and darting between himself and the phone. “Narukami-senpai, what’s wrong?”
“Uh, um.” the female audibly swallowed as she hastily shoved her phone back into her bag, “Don’t - don’t worry about it, Tsukasa-chan.”
Okay, she was definitely acting strange. “What happened, Senpai?”
The other flinched, not even offering a retort. Something was definitely wrong; Tsukasa tried again. “Is this about Ritsu-senpai?”
“Yes…” he got a feeble reply, and it was impossible not to notice Arashi's eyes flitting around everywhere but him.
“Is he alright?” His heart sank as he considered the possibility.
“He’s fine. Better than fine, in fact. Uh-” there was a pause, as if Arashi was trying to carefully select her words, “I-I don’t think it’s my place to say. Rest assured, he’s doing okay. You have my word.”
“But you can’t tell me?” he challenged.
“I shouldn’t be the one to tell you,” Arashi stated bluntly. Tsukasa's mind swirled with possibilities - what couldn’t the other reveal? It wasn’t anything bad, but it had to be - because his senpai's eyes belied a mixture of pity and pain.
“Enough of that, how was your weekend trip with Ritsu-chan?”
Changing the topic, was she? “It was good,” Tsukasa answered absentmindedly, but his thoughts were still racing at a mile a minute. Just what-
“Yeah, he told me you two had a lot of fun. I didn’t know you knew how to sail a yacht; where’d you learn to do that?”
“Eh, I learnt it from an old friend, back in secondary school. I wonder how he’s doing now,” Tsukasa shrugged off the thought of his two friends in secondary school, the two were soulmates-
Wait.
Soulmates...
“Right, you used to live near the ocean, right?”
Ritsu... was that why Arashi was so-
“Yeah, I moved here during my first year in high school,” Tsukasa bit his lip, nails scratching against the wooden table. “Ritsu-senpai can see in color now, can’t he?”
Arashi choked on her drink.
“...Yeah, he can,” the reply was soft, gentle, and comforting, yet the words themselves opened up a chasm in his stomach.
So many questions. So many questions. Why did Ritsu tell Arashi first, and not him? Was he scared that this was exactly how he’d take it? But then, why even tell Arashi? Unless, unless, no of course that was it, Ritsu had found his soulmate after all and of course it would make sense if-
Tsukasa felt Arashi's hand rest on top of his from beside him. “Tsukasa-chan,” Arashi's blue, piercing eyes fixed on his, “Ritsu-chan loves you. Ritsu-chan still loves you.”
His fingers instinctively tightened around Arashi's. “Wh-who is it?” He swallowed, and swallowed again, and again because he was not about to fall apart in the middle of a crowded diner.
“It doesn’t matter.”
“Please. Please, I just want to know - ” Tsukasa begged, because of course he did, but -
“It’s some florist; Ritsu-chan went to buy some flowers for you, and - look, Tsukasa-chan, listen to me,” at some point his eyes had, despite his best efforts, started watering, and he didn’t really want to look his Senpai in the eyes but he did so anyway, “Please tell me you don’t think that Ritsu-chan would consider leaving you, even for a second. You know what he told me?” Arashi mumbled, “He told me that he was glad he found his soulmate there, because then he could pick out the prettiest flowers for you.”
Tsukasa sniffled. That did sound like Ritsu.
“He cares so much about you, Tsukasa-chan,” Arashi began to trace small circles on the back of Tsukasa's hand, “It’s unfair. I think it’s unfair. That’s how soulmates are supposed to be, right? But you two, you just met and clicked, and…”
“I know, Narukami-senpai. I know,” Tsukasa knew, rationally, that Ritsu wouldn’t leave him, and that really all it meant was that Ritsu would now be able to appreciate his new scarf even more, but his rational thoughts did little to stop his chest from tightening up or the tears threatening to spill out. “I know.”
------
Tsukasa had never, in all his years of staying at his - their - apartment, dreaded entering the elevator so much. Arashi had sent him off just a few minutes before with some reassuring words along with an uncomfortably warm hug, but Tsukasa found himself missing some of that warmth right now.
The elevator doors reopened, as they always did, on the eleventh floor, but Tsukasa barely registered it; his feet took him to the door and his hand twisted open the doorknob before he was anywhere close to being prepared for the conversation he was sure was about to follow.
“Suu-chan~” A familiar, sleepy voice could be heard as Tsukasa bent down to remove his shoes “You’re back~”
His boyfriend set the boring magazine aside, letting out a faint sigh, his soft eyes trained on Tsukasa’s all the while. He took one, two, three, and then four great strides, closing the distance between them as he practically leapt into Tsukasa's arms. Tsukasa felt Ritsu chuckle softly beside him.
“You’re really pretty.” the taller boy pressed a kiss to his right cheek.
Tsukasa said nothing, but his arms instinctively tightened down on Ritsu, almost as if he was scared of letting the other boy leave his arms. And maybe he was.
His boyfriend, of course, knew him too well, and took his silence for what it was. “Nachan told me she told you. About my…” Tsukasa nodded.
“Soulmate.”
“Yes. That.” Neither of them spoke for a while, Tsukasa simply holding Ritsu close and feeling their rapid heartbeats.
“Do you…” the taller male pulled back, concerned eyes - but still sparkling, as they always did - trained again on his, “... want to talk about it now?” Tsukasa found it difficult to look into those eyes as he nodded.
“I’ll make some tea,” he broke off, wanting some time to collect his thoughts, but Ritsu pushed him towards the couch.
“Leave it to me,” the other boy insisted, “You’ve had a long day at work, right?”
Tsukasa flopped down onto the couch and let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. So Ritsu was still in the apartment. And he wasn’t any different. And their relationship hadn’t been ruined. And he was still wonderfully kind, maybe a little bit of a tease, but really, nothing had changed.
Except for the vase of dark flowers now sitting in the centre of their coffee table.
“Do you like them?” Ritsu extended a steaming mug out to Tsukasa, who took it with a grateful nod, “They’re, uh… this is going to sound silly, but they’re the same color as your hair.”
Tsukasa took a strand of his hair and held it up. It did look to be an identical shade, but then again, he couldn't tell. He’d just have to take Ritsu’s word on it.
“So, um…” Ritsu shifted as he tried to find a comfortable position on the sofa opposite Tsukasa, “Her name’s Anzu,” Tsukasa repeated the name in his head - Anzu, Anzu, Anzu.. - and he was ashamed at the animosity he suddenly felt over this complete stranger - “She works at AZALEA, that new flower shop a couple blocks down. I met her this morning.”
“H-How was it?” Tsukasa asked, “Seeing in color, I mean.”
“It was strange~” His boyfriend explained, “Like, really strange. I was picking out flowers, and then I hear someone ask me if I needed any help, and I turn around and look Anzu in the eye and suddenly everything explodes into…into… color.”
Ritsu wore a childish grin on his face as he continued, “Anzu was shocked as well, you could tell. We both kind of just stopped and stared at each other for a while. She introduced herself first, and asked if I wanted to talk for a while. Oh, but, she was pretty attentive - she noticed this,” he held up his left hand, the matching platinum bracelet with its mirrored half-heart amethyst charm, “and asked who the lucky person was.”
“We went to a cafe for an hour or two, and I talked mostly about you, actually. I didn't realize it, at all; it was only after she pointed out that she now knew more about this ‘Tsukasa’ than she actually did about me,” Ritsu smiled, “In the end, she ended up giving me these flowers on the house, and we said our goodbyes.”
“You didn’t even exchange contact information?” Tsukasa asked, shocked. He’d always considered, in those infrequent daydreams of his, how meeting his soulmate would be like, and while Tsukasa wouldn’t leave Ritsu for anyone, he was sure he’d at least bother to keep in touch. After all, this was your soulm-
“Nope~" Ritsu set his now empty mug down, “I mean, not that she’s really hard to reach, since she lives above her shop, but we both weren’t interested. It sounds strange, I know, but we’re both practical people, and she was adamant when she wished me good luck with my - our - relationship. I guess it makes sense that we’d be similar…”
“But enough about me,” Ritsu leaned over and poked Tsukasa on the cheek, eliciting a yelp, “What’s this nonsense Nachan’s been telling me about you freaking out? Don’t tell me you actually thought I’d leave you.”
“I don’t know,” Tsukasa admitted, setting his own mug aside so Ritsu could cuddle against him, “I guess I always felt that neither of us would meet our soulmates, you know? Like, it sounds really idiotic, but just about all the people I’ve met who are soulmates have happily ended up together, and maybe I just wanted to show someone - myself, even - that I didn’t need that to be happy.”
“But you already did show someone,” Ritsu snuggled into Tsukasa’s lap, “You made me happy.”
Tsukasa smiled and leaned in for a kiss, which Ritsu gladly reciprocated, his hands coming up to pull Tsukasa closer as their lips met. Ritsu pulled away first.
“Hey, Suuchan~,” a teasing grin appeared on his face, “when I went to buy these bracelets, I handed the man at the counter a picture of you and asked for something the color of your eyes. Well, I should go ask for a refund, because they certainly don’t do your eyes justice.”
Tsukasa blushed furiously, “Sakuma Ritsu, you are insufferable.”
“You love it,” Ritsu chuckled, and Tsukasa couldn’t help but join him. Why had he worried about something as silly as a soulmate, again?
“I love you.” he dove in for another kiss, running his fingers through Ritsu's soft locks; he absentmindedly wondered what color they were.
“I love you too, Suuchan~...”
Tsukasa had always wondered what it meant to see in color. But Ritsu's grinning face, and those earnest, familiar words that always managed to stir some warmth into Tsukasa's heart, made him wonder just a little bit less.
“Oh, but - ” Ritsu slid over him, reaching for the magazine he was reading earlier, “we’ve really got to replace this couch, Suuchan. Seriously, it’s a terrible shade of green.”