Archive of Our Own

Fic: Always
Title: Always
Author: mga1999
Rating: PG-13 - Language
Warnings: Unless you count angst and sappiness, there be none.
Word Count: 5700
Disclaimer I do not own these brilliant characters. They are owned by a mountain disguising itself as a movie studio, and a bad robot that I am having a torrid affair with.
Summary: Written for space_wrapped: The prompt 72. There's nothing like good ol' hurt/comfort. It's Christmas, but Bones is sick or injured -- the type and severity is up to you, dear writer. Give me some jolly, jolly angst. (That is not an oxymoron!)
A/N: Thank you to abigail89 for the last minute beta. All remaining mistakes are my own and there are probably a lot as I wrote this late yesterday. A day late and a dollar short posting, but I had it done by midnite dammit. It was a Christmas miracle! My humblest apologies though for the tardiness. I am not a doctor, or engineer. I only play one in fan fiction and not very well.

Preparedness. In one of many long talks he had with Admiral Pike after Narada during his recovery in his hospital room and, later, his home, he couldn't drill into Jim enough the fact that he had to be prepared for anything. And Jim being Jim, he'd taken it to heart since he was commissioned Captain of the Enterprise ten months ago. Almost to the point of near obsession. Bones had recently said something to the effect that he was a 'goddamn reckless idiot working himself to death' when he stayed up for over seventy-two hours fine-tuning a diplomatic away mission. The mission went off without a hitch, and the treaty was signed. But the moment Jim had beamed back to Enterprise, he'd collapsed stepping off the platform. He woke up twelve hours later in his quarters with a furious CMO at his bedside. He had never heard Bones swear at him so much in the four years they'd known each other.

Jim Kirk would admit that he is reckless with himself, but not with his crew. His crew came first and foremost. Not that he had a death wish. He certainly didn't want to die. It was just part of who he was. Bones knew this and told him time and time again, that he didn't like it; but he would be the pot calling Jim a kettle because in the end, Leonard McCoy was the same way. They were both self-sacrificing, and that was one thing that bound them together despite so many differences. You couldn't ask for two officers more devoted or dedicated to their jobs.

It was why Jim went over every away mission backwards and forwards and inside out time and time again. It was why Bones spent a ridiculous amount of time making sure his medical bay was stocked and his staff prepared for the worst. It was both their best and worst attributes, but luckily, they knew each other's limits. Both were ready to step in when the other was reaching theirs. Only a ship-wide outbreak of a mutated strain of Andorian flu that infected humans had kept Bones from noticing Jim working without rest and mainlining caffeine.

He was especially mindful on missions where Bones was a member of the away team. Not that he didn't value the lives of the rest of the crew -- But this was Bones. As much as he hated to admit it, he was emotionally attached. He needed Bones like he needed the Enterprise. Neither would be the same without the other. So he did everything possible and then some, to keep them both safe above all else.

Which was why nothing could prepare him for the sight in front of him. His CMO, his best friend, his Bones covered in blood, and unconscious on the makeshift bed Jim made for him on the floor of the shuttle. The scene in front of him was number one on his rotating nightmares list -- Well, to be honest, he would have to admit his fear of losing Bones, whether to solid ground, or him dying was his worst. He didn't have enough fingers, or even toes to count the times he'd woken up sweating in a complete panic that something had happened to Bones. And now it had. And he was fucking terrified.

The day started simply and routinely enough. They'd had breakfast in Jim's quarters, then went their separate ways for their shifts. Jim had had lunch with Bones in medical. Bones had been concerned that their latest medical crisis had left them dangerously low on certain medications. Their next scheduled supply stop wasn't for six weeks. Bones had told him they could probably make due, but if they had another outbreak, they'd be in trouble. After careful consideration they'd decided to take the Galileo to Starbase 22. Enterprise was currently on a scientific mission exploring a cluster of planets and their satellites that had small, but potentially worthwhile dilithium deposits. Three weeks in, Jim was bored out of his mind. They still had at least another week before they'd complete their surveying. Jim was convinced his eyes were crossing from the monotony of the reports to headquarters for the mining ships that were preparing to head their way.

Three days round trip and Bones would have everything he needed. Jim would have a break from the tedium. After conferring with Spock, and his senior crew, who all agreed -- Well, Spock didn't find it exactly 'logical' that the captain and CMO were going. Jim laughed when Bones went on one of his tirades about not trusting the idiots who couldn't find their goddamn fingers on their own hands and was going to make sure he got what he needed personally. Jim had sat there grinning as his first officer's eyebrow went up. Spock continued to listen to the doctor go on about not setting foot on one of those deathtraps for that long a trip with some ensign that wasn't even born when he started high school piloting. Spock had opened his mouth to more than likely refute that it wasn't mathematically possible for someone that young to be piloting, but seeing the glare from the cantankerous doctor thought better of it. Spock had then stated he found it prudent for the Captain to pilot the shuttle.

The trip there was uneventful. Bones worked on his paper about the mutated strain of Andorian flu. Jim even got some rest. Well, only after Bones threatened to sedate him. They arrived at Starbase 22 and Bones was pleasantly surprised that they had everything ready and correct. After loading the shuttle, they had a drink with the station's commander before retiring to the quarters provided to sleep a few hours before departing.

They were half a day from the base when all hell broke loose. There had been a magnetic storm to their aft that they had narrowly avoided on the way. They weren't so lucky on the way back. Even though Jim charted a course well away from it, the storm had a mind of its own. If Jim hadn't known better, he would have sworn it chased them, just clipping the back of the shuttle enough to make it lose intertial dampeners and power long enough to send them careening and even rolling a couple of times before Jim was able to get just enough power from the back-ups to stabilize their trajectory.

Jim moaned as he grabbed the back of his neck. He'd been thrown around pretty hard despite being strapped in. "Bones," he moaned loudly. "Bones, you alright?" When he didn't get an answer, he quickly unstrapped himself standing and swearing. "Fuck! His thigh was throbbing. Probably collided a couple of times with the console he thought as he hobbled around the chair desperately looking for Bones.

Past two seats behind him, holding onto them as he nearly hopped to keep the weight off his left leg. "Oh God!" he cried when he got to the third row. Bones was strapped in, but the harness was loose enough that he'd probably hit the wall. There was blood pouring out of a wound somewhere on his head. His left arm was laying awkwardly across his stomach, obviously broken. "Shit."

"Bones, Bones! Can you hear me?" Jim asked panicked. He cupped his cheek, before running his fingers down to his throat sighing in relief when he found a pulse. His head fell forward and he took a steadying breath. He didn't have time to fall apart now. Bones needed him.

He hobbled as quickly as he could to the compartment where he knew Bones had stashed his medical kit. Glancing up at the shuttle console and seeing everything was still stable for now, he went back to attend to Bones. Pulling out the tricorder, he held it up, his heart racing while he waited for it to start diagnosing. He knew head injuries bled a lot, but his little voice was telling him this was bad. When the tricorder beeped, he closed his eyes and said a silent prayer before getting to work. Jim grabbed two vascular stabilizers, placing one on Bones' abdomen where the tricorder had indicated a probability of internal bleeding, and the other on the side of his head.

Bones was stable enough, no serious back or neck injuries to prevent Jim from moving him. He worked quickly, grabbing blankets and pillows and made a makeshift bed on the floor behind the last row of seats. Returning to Bones, he grabbed strap and secured his broken arm as best he could. "Come on, Bones. You can wake up now and tell me if I'm doing all this right." He hoped if Bones could hear him, that he didn't hear the panic in his voice. This was one thing he had prepared for. He'd gone beyond his first responder training, reading up on everything he could so he could be prepared for times just like this. Trouble was, this was Bones.

Satisfied he'd done what he could to stabilize him, he pulled Bones up, bending down and somehow hoisted him onto his shoulder enough to hobble around behind the seats. "Shit, Bones. You need to stop working out so much. You're fucking heavy."

He laid him down as carefully as he could, cradling his head in the crook of his arm. He wanted to just stay there, holding him. He was afraid of letting him go. But he had to figure out a way to keep them safe. Get them home -- Get Bones the help he needed. So he gently set his head down on the pillow and then propped his legs up with the other two, making sure they were elevated enough to stave off shock. He took another tricorder reading and shook his head. Not good enough. Not nearly good enough. He took a shuddering breath and took a blanket and covered Bones before returning to the console.

Communications were fried. The engine the same. They had enough auxiliary reserve power in the backups for twenty-four hours. Jim knew he could squeeze more out. They had about fifteen hours before they'd be overdue on Enterprise. Jim estimated Spock would try to raise them once they were. When he couldn't, would try again an hour later, and then honestly, he wasn't sure what Spock would do. Regulation clearly stated if they couldn't raise a shuttle after three unsuccessful attempts at standard hour intervals, a rescue mission would commence. It would cut it close, but Jim was more worried about Bones injuries than the shuttle running out of power or Enterprise failing to come after them.

He turned on the emergency locater beacon on it's lowest setting to alert any passing ships, cut power to everything he could without destabilizing them, and headed back to the rear to start bypassing power conduits he knew would buy them more time. He stopped and checked Bones, cringing at how pale he looked. He then spent thirty minutes moving every conduit and circuit around that wasn't fried or cracked until he was satisfied that he'd coerced as much power as he possibly could.

Wiping the sweat from his forehead, he limped back, leaning against the side and then the seats until he nearly collapsed back in the pilot's chair. "Okay, let's see what we got here." His eyes were blurring and he rubbed them shaking his head. "Come on, Jim, you can't pass out until this is over," he said out loud. He let out a breath as he saw that he'd managed to get another six hours or so of power. They would be fine. Enterprise would come. Bones would be okay. He refused to believe otherwise.

When he tried to stand again, he nearly fell. "Shit," he hissed, taking a moment and then with sheer determination, rose and made his way back to Bones. He slid down the wall, wincing, until he was sitting next to Bones head, leaning back against the wall. "Okay, okay," he muttered. "Despite what you think, Bones, I'm not a masochist."

He grabbed the tricorder and ran it over himself. He imagined Bones doing so with his patented scowl and the corner of his lip turned up. He wished Bones would wake up and scowl at him right now. The tricorder confirmed what he already knew. He'd broken his femur in a couple of places. Not badly, a couple small uncomplicated fractures, probably from the two times his leg bounced against the console. He'd had worse, much worse. But he knew he needed to tend to himself if he was going to take care of Bones. He finished scanning. He had a slight concussion, and was bruised all to hell wherever he had been thrown against the harness. He quickly loaded a hypospray with a painkiller and shot himself in the neck before turning to scan Bones again.

"I wish you were awake Bones to see me scanning and taking care of myself. I know you're not going to believe me later when we're back on Enterprise," he said tiredly. He couldn't stand looking at Bones anymore all bloody and pale. He slid over to a compartment and opened it, pulling out water, towels, a couple more blankets since he'd lowered the temperature to save power, and then he noticed Bones' PADD miraculously still in the pouch of the seat in front of where he'd been sitting. He crawled over, cursing as the pain shot through his leg and grabbed it before settling back against the wall.

He got to work again, using the water and towels to clean Bones up as much as he could. The head wound had stopped bleeding, thank God, his pulse was still steady, but he'd never seen Bones so still. Bones was never sick. Not even a cold in all the time he'd known him. He was convinced that even viruses were scared of his southern temper. Jim brushed the hair off Bones' forehead and then, hesitating, let his fingers run through his hair. He closed his eyes, relishing the feeling -- letting himself have thoughts, if only for a moment, that he'd kept buried deep down for longer than he even wanted to admit.

"Come on, Bones. Wake up and yell at me for doing something wrong," he sighed, opening his eyes again. He adjusted Bones' broken arm again, trying to make him as comfortable as possible under the circumstances. His brow furrowed when Bones didn't even flinch when he moved it.

Covering Bones' back up with the blanket and then another, he took the other for himself and leaned back. He grabbed Bones's PADD and touched the screen, surprised at what he found. On the screen was a colorful snowman in a plaid coat, complete with a corncob pipe and a carrot nose, sitting in front of a brightly lit house, Christmas lights all over it. Bones had been sending out Christmas cards before he fell asleep. He smiled sadly shaking his head at how much he underestimated his best friend sometimes. Sure, Bones' had given him cards before, but Bones had given him the old fashioned paper ones. He figured it was just Bones and his century-old ways. Granted, they were on a starship now which made sending paper cards across the galaxy a little difficult, but the card he had up on the screen was to someone on Bones' staff on Enterprise.

He stopped looking, not wanting to read more into it than he already was. He didn't want to think about Christmas anymore, only three days away. He pulled up the paper Bones had been working on and started reading that to take his mind off things.

Five hours later something startled Jim awake. "Fuck," he winced, his leg throbbing again. He looked over at Bones in a panic, Jim's fingers automatically reaching for his throat, and he blew out a breath in relief still finding that steady pulse. He startled again when he heard a faint moan.

"Bones! Bones can you hear me?" Jim asked, his heart pounding. He cupped his cheek. "Bones?"

He watched as Bones' mouth moved slightly and then he heard another moan. He grabbed the medical kit and after scanning him, quickly loaded and calibrated the appropriate dose and gently pressed it against Bones' neck.

"There's a painkiller, Bones. Give it a minute and you'll feel better. I didn't want to give you anything until you woke up. Can you open your eyes for me? Come on, Bones?" He brushed his thumb across his cheek. He felt a sense of deja vu, repeating the same words to Bones that had been said to him so many times.

Bones' mouth moved, and Jim couldn't help but smile when the faint whisper of 'Jim' emerged from his lips.

"I'm here, Bones. You're going to be fine," he assured him, suddenly aware of the tears running down his cheeks. He turned his head and wiped his face on the arm of his shirt. He grabbed Bones' hand with his other and squeezed it. "I'm here."

And then Bones opened his eyes. Not much, but Jim didn't care. He moved, not caring how much he hurt to look in those eyes. "Hey there. Nice of you to finally join me."

"Wha' happen'd?" Bones whispered shakily.

"We got our asses kicked by a magnetic storm," he said keeping it simple. "Got tossed around a bit. Shuttle's stable though, don't worry. Enterprise should come out looking for us in oh, about twelve hours, I figure." He hoped he sounded reassuring.

"You 'kay?"

Jim half laughed, half sobbed. He couldn't help it. Leave it to Bones, who was the one who was really hurt, to be worrying about him.

"A lot better off than you are," he smiled. It didn't quitereach his eyes. What he really wanted to do was throw himself down on Bones' chest and sob in relief that he was awake.

"Jim..."

"I scanned myself, Bones. I cracked a couple bones in my femur. I have a slight concussion, but I took a painkiller for my leg. I'm okay. You're the one that I'm worried about, Bones," he admitted, swallowing down the fear.

"Show me my first scan," he requested, turning his head carefully.

Jim pulled up the first scan he did, when his hands were shaking so badly he was afraid it would ruin it. He explained to Bones everything he'd done earlier. He watched as Bones eyes opened and closed slowly, he could see he was having a hard time concentrating. "Do you need me to read it to you?"

"No," he coughed, wincing. "You've done all you can. You did good, kid." He paused, taking a couple of shaky breaths. "I can't stay..."

"Then don't," Jim finished for him. "Sleep. I'll be right here." He ran his hand across Bones' forehead and through his hair again. "Sleep, Bones. I've got you."

He watched as Bones' eyes slowly closed. He waited until his breath evened out, and lines smoothed out on his face. He scanned him again and, while Bones was still critical, he'd woken up, if briefly. He had to believe that was a good sign.

The hours passed slowly. Jim spent the time reading Bones' paper, reading news out loud to him that had downloaded before they had lost communication, limping to the front to make sure power was holding, scanned Bones hourly. The last two scans had made Jim worry more than he already was. Bones hadn't shown any signs of waking; in fact he was no longer just sleeping. He'd fallen unconscious again, and had developed a fever. He'd given him several more hypos, and even gave one to himself as the pain was getting unbearable. He could only sit helplessly next to him and hope that Enterprise wouldn't wait to long to come looking for them.

Fourteen hours after the storm had hit, he pulled his comm out of his pocket and set the chime to its loudest setting. Jim was having trouble staying awake. He was reluctant to let himself sleep, but he knew he was going to pass out soon anyway. He scanned Bones once more, a tear escaping as he read the results. Bones was getting weaker. He was bleeding internally, the stabilizer only supposed to be a stop-gap until they could get a patient into surgery. In desperation, Jim placed another one, letting his fingers splay across Bones' abdomen, letting the warmth emanating remind him that as pale as he was, he was still alive.

Jim slid down and maneuvered onto his side. Bones' head was turned away, almost on the edge of the pillow, that wisp of hair falling over his forehead. Jim reached over and brushed it off before checking to make sure the stabilizer was still on his head, grimacing at the stickiness of all the blood around it. Hesitating a moment, he shook his head and burrowed up on the pillow with Bones, draping his arm across, and resting his hand on Bones' hip.

"I've got you," he whispered, a hitch in his breath. "Always."

The chirp of his communicator roused him before he heard Uhura's voice. "Enterprise to..." Jim bolted up, looked down at Bones, touching his throat to feel his pulse. It was still there, but weak.

"Uhura!" Jim interrupted. "Bones is hurt. Badly. Beam us to sickbay immediately."

"Confirmed, Captain. Sending alert to medical. Stand by for transport."

It seemed like forever before he heard Scotty's voice crackle over his comm, but he knew it wasn't more than a minute. He grabbed the tricorder so medical would have Bones' condition quicker and the next thing he knew, he was on the floor in medical bay as the staff descended on both of them. He quickly handed the tricorder to Dr. M'Benga, rambling off anything he thought he should know. He somehow managed to get to his feet, following behind as they took Bones towards the surgical suite. Jim shrugged off the staff trying to tend to him, grabbing the doctor's shoulder before he disappeared into surgery.

"Dr. M'Benga," he paused and then sighed shaking his head. He wasn't the Captain right now, he was -- He faltered, unable to go there. "Jabilo, he said using the doctor's first name. "Please, is he going to be okay?" He didn't care that the medical staff was seeing him like this. His eyes darted back and forth from the doctor to Bones being prepped by nurses on the operating table.

"You know Dr. McCoy," the doctor began, giving a reassuring smile. "He's stubborn as hell and you've done a hell of a job. Now go let yourself get taken care of or he'll have my head."

Jim nodded solemnly, noting he really didn't get an answer. He took one last look at Bones, said a silent prayer to whatever God might be listening and let himself be led over to a biobed. The hiss of a hypospray was the last thing he heard.

He woke up to the sound of Christmas music. Bells to be precise. He briefly wondered if he was dead, as he opened his eyes to bright lights. Only the sound of a familiar voice next to him convinced him otherwise.

"Doctor! Zee keptin iz waking up!" Chekov exclaimed.

Jim turned his head to see Chekov sitting in a chair, watching a holovid on his PADD. He stood as the doctor entered the curtained area. He smiled timidly at Chekov before the young ensign made himself scarce.

Before Dr. M'Benga could get a word out, Jim asked, "How's Bones?"

"Stable, but unconscious," he answered calmly. Jim looked around for a chrono. "You've been out six hours. Leonard has been out of surgery for two. I don't forsee him waking up for a good twelve hours at the earliest. You should get some more rest."

Jim looked at Dr. M'Benga like he'd grown a second head.

"But since I know you won't, I put a cot in Dr. McCoy's ICU room. You can stay as long as you promise to get some rest and your leg still needs another osteo-stimulator session or two."

He nodded and sat up feeling stiff. He stretched a little before sliding off the biobed. He was hesitant to put weight on his leg, but when he did he just felt a twinge of pain. Dr. M'Benga took his arm, steadying him, and guided him gently around the corner and down the short hallway to the ICU suite. Nurse Penfold was downloading data to a PADD and handed it to Dr. M'Benga as he walked in.

Jim looked at Bones, lying so still on the biobed, but not as pale as he'd been on the shuttle. He watched the silent lights flicker on the panel behind the bed, but it didn't reassure him.

"He's improving already, Captain -- Jim." Dr. M'Benga handed him the PADD. "I'll let you read it since I know you will anyway. If you have any questions, I'll be in Dr. McCoy's office. I'll have the nurse come and get you when it's time for the next round on your leg."

The doctor was almost out of the room before Jim turned away from staring at Bones and said hoarsely. "Doctor -- Jabilo... Thank you."

Dr. M'Benga nodded and said before leaving, "You did the hard part. You kept him alive. Saved his life."

Jim choked on his next breath, turning back to Bones. He wanted to throw himself on the bed and curl up next to him and never let go. He didn't care that he wasn't supposed to have these feelings. All he cared about right now that Bones was alive and safe.

Walking over to the biobed, his fingers once again reached for his throat, needing to feel that familiar thrum under his fingertips, not quite trusting the blinking on the wall. He left his fingers there longer than he should have. Longer than he even realized. It wasn't until he literally couldn't stand up anymore, that he pulled the cot closer to the bed and sat down on the edge, his hand wrapping around Bones'.

"I've still got you, Bones. You're going to be fine," he whispered, not sure if he was reassuring Bones, or himself. He leaned forward, resting his cheek against Bones' hand, squeezing it tighter, allowing himself one -- just one brush of his lips against Bones' knuckles.

He was still cradling Bones' hand in his when the nurse woke him for treatment on his leg. He got up reluctantly, squeezing Bones hand before he let go. "I'll be right back, Bones."

Jim's mind was a swirl of thoughts as the machine hummed next to his thigh. While he was used to being in a biobed, he'd never been on the other side of it. Well, not with Bones in one. He found that he didn't like it much, and felt immensely guilty for what he'd put Bones through time and time again since they met. He wasn't sure why Bones put up with him.

He had never had anyone like Bones in his life before. He wasn't even exactly sure how to define their relationship anymore. Jim was close to his brother when he was younger, but not like this. He had a few friends here and there, but no one like Bones. Bones was his friend unconditionally. As mad as Jim made him sometimes, he kept coming back. He stayed, following Jim into space despite having no intention on serving on a ship when they first met.

He can't imagine his life without Bones anymore. Didn't want to. As far as he was concerned, he had no life without Bones. Sure, he had his ship, and he had friends, but they weren't -- The machine 'dinged' at the same time Jim made a realization.

Bones was everything.

Two days before Christmas and Bones was slowing waking up. He'd opened his eyes a few times. Squeezed Jim's hand, before falling asleep again. Jim only left his bedside to have quick meetings with Spock, writing and signing reports on his PADD at Bones' bedside. They had recovered the Galileo and Scotty had assured him it would be in tip top shape by the new year.

Christmas eve morning, Bones finally opened his eyes, returning to complete wakefulness. He mouthed 'water' and Jim held a straw up to his mouth while he sipped. That simple feat exhausted him, but he didn't fall back asleep. He just stared at Jim, their eyes locking, fingers threaded together.

"You okay?" Bones finally asked.

"No, I'm not," Jim admitted, surprised when the words left his mouth. "You almost died on me." You almost left me.

"I'm not leaving you, kid," Bones replied, reading between the lines. "Okay?"

Jim stared at him a moment, knowing, believing for the first time in his life, that maybe someone was telling him the truth.

"Okay," he nodded, leaning forward and resting his head against Bones' ribcage. When Bones' hand moved down and carded through his hair, Jim let out a heartbreaking sob, before taking a shuddering breath and wrapping his arm around Bones' waist.

Bones was well enough, although weak, to have Christmas dinner in his quarters. Jim went all out, having his room decorated complete with garland, flashing lights, and a little Christmas tree placed on his console.

"Are you trying to give me a goddamn seizure with those flashing lights," Bones groused immediately upon entering the room. Jim just smiled, happy that his grumpy doctor appeared to be on the mend. "What are you smiling at? You look as happy as a coonhound who's picked up the scent of its quarry. That's not a good look for you."

Jim rolled his eyes as he levered Bones, still a bit unsteady on his feet, towards his bed, Bones was having nothing of it. "Couch," he barked. Jim sighed and they headed towards the couch.

"Don't you have a ship to run? You've been mollycoddling me since I woke up."

Jim tried not to look hurt, but he had to admit it stung a bit. "Dr. M'Benga hasn't released me for duty yet," he stated neutrally and watched Bones' face soften a bit.

"Oh hell, Jim, I'm sorry," he apologized picking up a pillow and tossing it. "I'm not as good at playing the patient as you are. Oh wait, what am I thinking? You're a terrible patient." He grinned slyly and the sting Jim was feeling washed away. "Bring me my PADD."

Jim did as requested and watched as Bones quickly scrolled through several screens.

"Any numbness in your leg?" He looked up at Jim and Jim could only shake his head and sigh.

"You're not my doctor right now. I'm fine," he said calmly. "Dinner will be here in about twenty minutes so just relax. I have to run to my quarters and meet with Spock really quick. Should be back before dinner arrives. Will you be okay?"

It was Bones' turn to sigh. "I'll be fine." Jim could tell he was gritting his teeth, just seething to say something else. He smiled that lopsided grin and headed for the door. Yup, the Bones he knew and loved was back.

That particular word nearly made him stumble into the wall. He put his hand out to stop himself.

"Glad to see you're still as clumsy as always," Bones bantered. "Was worried maybe M'Benga fixed that."

"Asshole," Jim sputtered on his way out.

"Reckless idiot," he heard Bones mumble just as the door slid shut.

Two days later, Jim was back in Bones' quarters after his first shift back on duty. They were wrapping up their mission and ready to head to the next still unknown destination. Bones was sleeping quietly on the couch, still not completely recovered, but getting there. Things were getting back to normal, or as normal as things could be on a starship hurtling through places unknown.

Jim was still wrestling with his newly discovered feelings. He wasn't sure what to do about them. While he wanted to believe that Bones might possibly feel the same way, he wasn't sure. Jim Kirk didn't like being unsure. He'd been racking his mind trying to figure out a way to find out, but hadn't quite figured it out yet.

Lying on Bones' bed, he reached over for his PADD, figuring he could work on reports until Bones woke up. As he brought it to his lap, something fell out from the sleeve of the case he kept it in.

It was the card Bones had given him for Christmas. Handmade red textured paper with a green reindeer near a sleigh full or presents. There were never pre-printed words in any of Bones' cards. The sentiment was the card itself.

The metaphorical ding went off in his head and he had his way to find out. Or in Jim Kirk's warped mind, it made sense. If Bones had only sent electronic cards to everyone else, and only given Jim a paper card, it had to mean something, right? Yes, it did. But to find out, he'd have to read Bones' PADD. He looked over at him, still sleeping soundly, and sighed.

He couldn't help it. He had to know. He grabbed Bones' PADD and pulled up the program Bones used for the cards. He looked through the list, noting everyone on the senior crew, his medical staff -- Everyone who Bones knew had gotten an electronic card. He picked up the paper card and smiled, running his hand across the textured paper, and tracing the familiar scrawl with his finger of the words Bones had written. One word especially:

Always

He had his answer.

fin