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The pen swirls over the small piece of paper, leaving black lines that curl together. It’s just a formality by now. The black and white prove of promises made only seconds ago. But Draco’s eyes are fixed on the strong fingers holding the pen. The steadiness of it surprises him. The usual tremor is gone. And that just swells Draco’s heart, knowing that there is no doubt in Harry’s mind, or heart for the matter. And who would have thought this would be the one thing that didn’t scare him.
This is not the first time that Harry has to put his signature down. Draco had seen Harry’s hand shake when he put his name on his diploma. Not so long ago he’d seen for the first time how shaky Harry’s handwriting is on it. Harry admitted he thought he didn’t deserve it, with all the slack the school gave him. And Draco understands that, but the fact that Harry even finished school with everything he had to go through that year is an accomplishment worth more than the stupid diploma. Draco had been there, had seen how hard it was on Harry and his uncle to see Moony deteriorate in a tempo none of them had expected. Until the morning in which Harry hadn’t come to school and Draco hadn’t been able to wait for the final bell so he could get over to Harry’s home. And it hadn’t mattered that Draco’s father had been furious with him for weeks for staying at Harry’s for the rest of the week. How could he have left him now that he’d lost another family member?
Draco had also been there when Harry had to sign the papers that made him owner off his uncles’ home. Tears had been in Harry’s eyes then. Barely eighteen, and suddenly all alone in this world. His hand had been shaking then. Draco had taken the hand in his as soon as the signature was on paper. And then Harry had come home to Draco’s little flat, unwilling to go back to his own home that was just his now.
And then there were the times that Draco hadn’t been there for. The time that Harry had to sign to get his inheritance. Ron said his hand had been shaking then. Or the time that Harry had to sign his release papers in the hospital after he’s healed up enough after the accident. Draco had told Harry he’d wished he could have been there for him then. That he could have had someone to hold him while he had to bury his parents and his little sister. Someone else than his uncles that he hadn’t seen in years.
But today Harry’s hand wasn’t shaking and it told Draco everything he needed to know. It said more than the yes that had left Harry’s lips when Draco had asked him to marry him. It was better than the vows Harry uttered only moments ago. This steady hand signing the marriage certificate was the prove that Harry wanted this.
It was all so different from Draco’s hand. Now that it was time for him to sign the silly paper, he couldn’t stop it from shaking. His usually steady hand suddenly starts to protest. Harry chuckles a little and Draco looks up at him.
“You’re laughing at your fresh husband now?” Draco asks. The effect of the words lost by the massive smile on his face.
“It’s just I’ve never seen you this nervous.”
“I’m not nervous,” Draco tells Harry. “Just scared. You know that this means my father is never going to talk to me again.”
And this is it. Harry might not have any parents or family anymore because they are all dead. Draco’s family has been downgraded to just Harry because of his love for the man. And putting his signature down now means that will never change. His father will disown him, his mother won’t pick up the phone anymore and Draco will not be allowed to interact with his little brothers anymore.
So, Draco’s hand shakes while he signs away the family he had growing up. Even though his hand has never shaken like this before. It was steady when Draco signed his diploma, proud of the high marks he managed to achieve, securing his place at the university he goes to now. It was also steady when he signed the lease off his little flat so he could get away from his father and the fights about his sexuality. The little flat that had become a home he shares with Harry.
“I’m sorry,” Harry says.
Draco takes his hand in his. “Don’t, this is not your fault. And I got all the family I need right here.”
“You’re allowed to miss them, just like I miss mine. I know it’s not the same, and I know you think the reason why my parents aren’t here is worse. But that’s not true. Mine would have been here if they could have. Yours choice not to support you in finding your own happiness. And in my book, that’s much worse than them not being here because they are dead.”
Draco’s eyes start to water. He pushes the tears away with his hand. He promised himself he wouldn’t cry about the fact he would get married without any family to support him.
Harry leans in and places a soft kiss on Draco’s cheek. “Stop trying to be strong. I know it hurts, and you’re allowed to be sad about it. Fuck, I’m sad about it. I love you and I’m the happiest man in the world for getting to spend the rest of my life with you. But I’m also hurting today. For all the people that should have been here with us, including your parents and brothers.”
“Will you two stop being soppy and get this over with. It’s time to get to the bar and get drunk,” Ron says from behind them. Draco and Harry both laugh. Their family might not have been here, but their best friends are, their new little family. And that will be enough for the rest of their lives.