Chapter Text
Edelweiss
エーデルワイス
Courage, Power
Jun was five when he met Yuuki Tetsuya for the first time.
Yuuki’s mother welcomed them to the neighborhood and Jun was unimpressed by the skinny kid peeking out from behind her leg.
His own mother was also unimpressed with the family who lived across the street. They lived above their own shop just like Jun now lived above their flower shop. He watched as his mother pursed her lips and shook her head before glancing at her children.
“Don’t get too close to that family. They’re trouble.”
Jun crossed his arms over his chest. “That kid was short and skinny and I could take him in a fight.”
Ayame and Riko both sniggered at him. His sisters were seven and eleven. And they were the worst.
Riko ruffled his hair and said to their mom, “I think you’re confused as to who’s trouble around here.”
Jun stuck his tongue out at her and ran up upstairs to unpack his toys.
Jun was five.
And he thought he was an edelweiss.
---
Jun listened to his mom and stayed away from the kid who lived across the street.
Jun thought it was going to be hard to do because they walked the same route to and from school and were in the same class and had their desks right next to one another.
But it was fine because Yuuki Tetsuya was weird.
Jun didn’t tell his mom but he didn’t have any idea what she was talking about. How could someone so quiet be ‘trouble’?
Yuuki answered whatever questions were asked of him. He usually knew the answer to the questions the teacher asked him. Probably because he read a lot. He didn’t know the answer to a lot of the questions their classmates asked. Probably because he read a lot.
It didn’t seem to matter to him if he knew the answer or not. Either way, he would simply turn his attention back to what he was working on.
He was very dedicated to whatever he was working on.
Not that it mattered and not that Jun cared but it was hard not to notice when their desks were so close--
Yuuki Tetsuya was drawing cherry blossoms.
Jun would watch out of the corner of his eye and eventually, he realized that Yuuki wasn’t drawing cherry blossoms. He was drawing a cherry blossom. The exact same flower over and over and over again. Rows and rows and rows of them. On sheets and sheets of paper.
And when Jun couldn’t stand it anymore he blurted out, “You suck at that.”
Yuuki blinked back at him owlishly. “That’s why I need to practice.”
He then went back to drawing and Jun wanted to growl at him.
His mom was right. He was going to stay away from Yuuki Tetsuya.
---
“Cherry blossoms mean kind and gentle and that life is fleeting.”
Yuuki looked up at Jun. His eyes were bright with interest and Jun wasn’t sure what to do. No one ever seemed interested in what flowers meant. Not even his sisters and they were supposed to inherit the store.
“Oh,” said Yuuki as he turned his attention back toward his drawings. “That’s why I’ve been drawing them.”
Jun frowned. “You didn’t know why you were drawing them?”
Yuuki shook his head. “What does ‘life is fleeting’ mean?”
“I don’t know,” huffed Jun. “I’m five.”
Yuuki made a weird sound and Jun realized he had laughed.
---
Yuuki picked a dandelion. The stem pinched between his fingers as he held out the white puffball for Jun’s inspection.
“What does a dandelion mean?”
Jun scoffed as he kicked a rock. “They don’t have a meaning. It’s a weed.”
“Then why do we make wishes on them?”
Jun stopped kicking the rock. It rolled off the side of the road onto the small hill Yuuki was standing on.
“I guess…” Jun scrunched up his face in concentration. When he came up with an answer he puffed out his chest and declared, “Because they are strong enough to carry all of our wishes!”
Yuuki considered the weed in his hands. He clutched it to his chest as if it was a precious thing and not...a weed. He closed his eyes and then raised the dandelion and blew.
Jun watched as the seeds caught in the wind. Unburdened by the weight of Yuuki’s wish.
“What did you wish for?” asked Jun.
Yuuki shook his head. “That’s a secret.”
Jun frowned. Fine. He could keep his secrets. He was going to stay away from him anyway.
---
“Can I have one of your drawings?”
Yuuki’s eyebrows grew extra frowny as he considered the question. “You...want one of my practice sheets?”
“Yeah.”
“You said it sucks.”
“It does.”
“But--”
“Can I have one or not?”
Yuuki reached into his pile and pulled out a sheet of paper covered with the single cherry blossom. He held it out for Jun who took it.
“You’re getting better,” lied Jun.
Yuuki did his weird not laugh. “Am not.”
---
“Good morning, Jun.”
Jun froze. “Why did you call me that?”
Yuuki tilted his head as he looked at him. “Because you’re my best friend.”
“Oh,” said Jun as they crossed the street together. He didn’t tell Yuuki that he had never had a best friend before. “Then can I call you ‘Tetsuya’?”
“No.”
And Jun almost growled except when he turned towards Yuuki he was smiling.
“It’s Tetsu.”
---
When his parents weren’t looking, Jun took an edelweiss flower from the shop.
He ran out the backdoor and down the street. He didn’t stop until he reached the grassy hill he walked past every day on his way to school. There he plopped down and studied the edelweiss. It had thin, fuzzy, white petals and a weird bug-eyed looking center.
And Jun decided he needed to start thinking about what it really meant to be courageous and strong.
---
White Chrysanthemums
白菊
Truth
Jun was eleven when he realized what the Yuuki family did for a living.
He might have never figured it out if Riko hadn’t been yelling.
That was the scariest part. Out of everyone in their family, Riko never yelled. Never raised her voice to make her point. She was the logical one. The one who always saw reason. And right now...that was the problem.
Riko was seventeen and she wanted to be a lawyer.
She had the grades. She had been accepted to a University. She had qualified for scholarships. And she was moving out.
Riko wouldn’t be inheriting the flower shop. And it seemed...their parents were the last people to realize it.
Jun was eleven.
And he hadn’t realized that white chrysanthemums could hurt.
---
When Jun couldn’t take the yelling anymore he slipped away. Downstairs and out the back door. He didn’t have a destination in mind. Not really. So it was a surprise when he found himself knocking on the Yuuki’s door.
The Yuuki’s shop had no sign. Their windows were always covered. Jun had looked out at the shop across the street for years now. The traditional sliding door. The wood slats on the windows. It didn’t look unwelcoming. It looked like a secret or maybe like a mystery.
If Tetsu’s mom was surprised to see him when she slid open the door she didn’t show it. She merely stepped aside when Jun asked his voice a little wavy,
“Is Tetsu home?”
Jun walked through the shop not really seeing it and not really noticing the way Tetsu’s mother seemed to be hurrying him along. Jun did notice the man sitting on the floor. He only noticed him because it was obviously Tetsu’s dad. He looked just like him.
Tetsu’s dad was leaning over a man who was laying on his stomach with his shirt off. Tetsu’s dad had a thin wooden stick that he was jabbing into the man’s back over and over again. Coloring in between the lines of a koi fish.
Jun stopped walking. “You’re horishis.”
Tetsu's mom looked down at her hands as she neatly folded them in front of her. “Hai.”
“Oh,” said Jun as the realization finally dawned on him. “Oh! That’s why Tetsu keeps drawing cherry blossoms. Though he didn’t know they represented gentleness and kindness. Can you believe that?”
Tetsu's mom looked a little startled as she raised a hand in order to stifle her laughter. “Perhaps you can teach him.”
“I can try,” said Jun but he didn’t want to lie to Tetsu's mom so he added, “No one really wants to listen to the meanings of flowers.”
For the first time since Jun had barged into their home Tetsu's mom smiled. “Tetsuya will listen.”
“Cool,” said Jun with a smile of his own. “Is Tetsu upstairs?”
The layout of the Yuuki’s home was the same as Jun’s so it was easy to find the living room. Tetsu and Masashi were sitting at the chabudai. Both brothers were drawing cherry blossoms. Masashi sucked even more than Tetsu at it. Masashi was also only eight years old so Jun supposed he had time to improve.
“Your mom’s nice,” said Jun as he plopped down at the table.
“Good evening,” greeted Tetsu formally as if Jun showing up at his house was a normal everyday occurrence.
For some reason that made Jun want to explain why he was there even more. “Riko is moving away. She wants to be a lawyer.”
Tetsu glanced at Jun before returning his attention back to his drawing. “And you’re sad about that?”
“No,” replied Jun quickly and then thought about it. “Maybe a little.”
Tetsu nodded. “You and your sisters are close.”
“My parents don’t want her to be a lawyer.”
“Why?”
Jun slumped over the table. “Because Riko was supposed to take over our shop.”
“Oh.”
Jun dropped his head onto his arms as he watched the Yuuki boys draw cherry blossoms. Their faces were miniature versions of their father’s downstairs. The same steady and serious expression. All of their attention focused and determined.
“You’re going to take over your family’s shop,” said Jun. He didn’t make it a question because the answer seemed obvious.
“Yeah.”
Jun wasn’t sure how long he sat there. It was probably the longest he had ever gone without saying anything or having something said to him. And yet...he didn’t mind.
Eventually, Masashi fell asleep. His face pressed against the table. His pencil clutched in his hand.
Jun still waited until Tetsu completed another row of his cherry blossom before admitting quietly,
“I’ve been searching for my own flower.”
Jun had never told anyone before. And Tetsu seemed to understand as he paused and eventually set down his pencil. His expression didn’t change much, but Jun could tell he was listening.
“I’ve been looking for a while now. Ever since I learned that Ayame means ‘iris’ and Riko means ‘white jasmine’ and my name means ‘pure’--which is fine, I guess. But it’s not a flower.”
It sounded a little silly when said out loud and Jun opened his mouth to take it back. The words never left his mouth because Tetsu handed him one of his practice sheets. Jun glanced down at the neat rows. Tetsu was getting better. He still kinda sucked though.
Tetsu gave a short nod. “Until you find yours you can have one of mine.”
Tetsu then picked his pencil back up and started drawing where he had left off.
---
Jun clutched the paper carefully to his chest as he made his way home.
---
“Hey, kiddo,” said Riko as she plopped down on Jun’s bed without asking for permission. Jun let her just this once. “Sorry, we scared you.”
Jun sat up in bed and rubbed his eyes. “I wasn’t scared.”
Riko shot him a look. “You ran away from home and hid with the horishis.”
That woke Jun up real quick. “You knew the Yuuki’s ran a tattoo parlor?”
“Yeah. I knew.”
Jun looked down as his hands twisted the sheet underneath them. “And that’s why mom doesn’t like them?”
“Yeah,” said Riko. “That’s why mom doesn’t like them.”
“What do you think?”
Riko snorted. “Obviously I don’t care what mom thinks.”
Jun winced. Which made Riko wince. She wrapped an arm around Jun. And Jun let her. Just this once.
“Sorry,” said Riko again. And that’s when Jun knew things were serious because Riko had never apologized to him twice so quickly before. “You know me leaving doesn’t have anything to do with you or Ayame, right?”
Jun nodded. He knew that. “You’ll be a good lawyer, Riko.”
“Oh?”
Jun nodded again. “You’re smart and sneaky when you argue.”
Riko laughed. “Yeah?”
Jun smiled. “Yeah.”
Jun dropped his head on her shoulder and Riko ruffled his hair. “You’ll always be my baby brother, you know that right?”
“I’m not going to be a baby forever,” protested Jun as he tried to wriggle out of Riko’s grip but she was a lot stronger than she looked.
“Yeah, you are.”
“Am not!”
“Are too.”
“Am not!”
For some reason that made Riko smile as she finally let Jun go. “I’ll miss you.”
“I’ll miss you too.”
“Don’t ever change, Jun.”
Jun rolled his eyes. “That’s a silly thing to ask for. I’m obviously going to change.”
Jun didn’t know why that made Riko’s smile turn a little sad.
“Yeah...I know, kiddo.”
---
Jun helped his mother set up the shop for the first time.
She named each flower for him and their meanings according to Hanakotoba as if Jun hadn’t been listening to all of his sister’s lessons all these years.
He let his mom talk. She seemed happier when she talked about flowers.
Afterward, she left Jun to sweep the shop while she opened the cash register. Jun tried his best but he got a little distracted looking at the chrysanthemums. At their tiny petals that bloomed in layers and layers. Their precise pattern hiding hidden depths.
---
Carnation
カーネーション
Fascination, Distinction, Love
Jun was thirteen when he realized Tetsu was no longer a short, skinny kid.
It probably wouldn’t have been such a shock, except Tetsu’s parents had decided it was time for him to apprentice with his grandfather and had sent him to Okinawa for the whole summer.
They still talked practically every day and honestly, Jun didn’t have much time to think about how his best friend was away because Ayame had apparently decided she was in love.
And what was worse...the guy she liked apparently liked her back.
Jun dropped the shoujo manga he had been reading onto the counter. “Buy something or get out.”
The guy actually jumped as if he hadn’t realized how suspicious it was that he had been loitering around the shop for the past fifteen minutes. He glanced at Jun and whatever expression Jun was wearing made him flinch.
Jun stared back at him unimpressed. He knew he could be intimidating when he wanted to. And right now he wanted to be.
The guy still approached him. Slowly and carefully. But Jun had to hand it to him he still managed to find the courage to ask,
“Are you Isashiki Ayame’s brother?”
“Yeah,” said Jun, folding his arms across his chest. “And you are?”
“Suzuki Botan. I’m classmates with your sister--”
Jun barked out a laugh. “Seriously? You’re named after a flower?”
Suzuki blushed a brilliant red as he mumbled, “So is your sister.”
“And we run a flower shop. What’s your excuse?”
“Peonies represent ‘bravery’,” mumbled Suzuki.
“Un-huh,” replied Jun as he leaned on the counter. “How’s that working out for you?”
“I’m...going to go.”
“Sure,” said Jun as he picked up the manga again. “That seems like a good idea.”
Suzuki didn’t need any more encouragement. He was in such a hurry to leave that he almost ran right into Ayame who had just walked through the door. They both blushed and stumbled through their greetings before Suzuki successfully fled.
Ayame watched him scurry away through the window before she turned towards Jun and yelled, “WHAT DID YOU DO?”
Jun rolled his eyes and turned the page.
Jun was thirteen.
And he thought carnations were too plain looking for all the things it was supposed to mean.
---
Jun had started reading shoujo manga when he found out Riko was calling Ayame more than him in order to talk about them.
Jun liked that they were stories about people in search of a connection to others. He appreciated the struggle of dealing with emotions--of having strong emotions and not quite knowing what to do with them. He liked that sometimes the characters reminded him of his sisters. He liked that sometimes they didn’t. He liked that sometimes they reminded him of himself.
That being said Jun still didn’t really understand why falling in love was such a big deal.
Especially when Ayame lay face down on her bed and screamed into her pillow.
“I don’t know why you’re freaking out,” said Jun. He was sitting on the floor with his back leaning against Ayame’s bed. Whenever Ayame bought a new manga she made Jun read it where she could keep an eye on him and the book. “Suzuki obviously likes you.”
Ayame’s head popped up. “How do you know that? What did he say?”
“He said that peonies represented ‘bravery’ as if I didn’t know that.”
“JUN!”
Jun shrugged. “He hung out in the store for fifteen minutes. He wouldn’t have done that if he wasn’t interested.”
“He could be interested in flowers.”
“No one is that interested in flowers.”
Ayame ruffled his hair, and really, Jun was getting too old for his sisters to be doing that. “You are.”
“We’re not talking about me.”
Ayame groaned as she flopped back on her bed. “What am I supposed to do?”
Jun held out the manga and pointed to a two-page spread. “Stand under cherry blossom trees and confess your love?”
“Don’t be ridiculous, Jun,” mumbled Ayame. “It’s the wrong season for cherry blossoms.”
Jun laughed. “You’ll just have to confess without them then.”
“You don’t understand!”
“Then why are you talking to me about it?”
Ayame threw her pillow at him.
---
It was the worst summer of Jun’s life.
Between having Suzuki loiter in and around the shop and listening to Ayame switch between waxing poetically about love and screaming into her pillow and having to act as a weird go between the two of them--
Jun finally shoved a bouquet of red roses into Suzuki’s hands.
Suzuki blinked dumbly at him. “Roses? Really?”
Jun rolled his eyes. “Red roses mean love and in love. I don’t know how much more straight forward you can get. Ayame went to the grocery store. If you hurry you can catch her.”
“I--um…”
“Well? Go!”
When Suzuki didn’t move Jun spun him around and physically pushed him out of the shop. Suzuki still glanced back unsure and Jun shooed him.
“Run!”
That command finally seemed to register because Suzuki took off down the street. Jun watched him go with a shake of his head.
“Bravery my ass.”
“Jun.”
Even after a whole summer apart, Jun would still know that voice anywhere. He turned and grinned wildly at the sight of Tetsu standing in front of his family’s shop.
“Tetsu!”
Jun ran across the street. And it wasn’t until Jun had closed the distance between them that he realized he had to tilt his chin in order to look up at Tetsu.
After a summer spent in Okinawa, Tetsu was apparently tall and tanned now. And Jun didn’t know what to do with this new information.
“What did I miss?”
Jun shot a glare down the street where Suzuki had disappeared. “You don’t want to know.”
“Of course I do,” replied Tetsu as he slid open the door. “Do you have time to tell me?”
Jun grinned. “Sure.”
Tetsu nodded and started to walk into the shop, but he paused at the doorway and turned back towards Jun. And it was like watching Tetsu move in slow motion, mostly because he was moving pretty slowly, as he reached out and wrapped his arms around Jun. His arms were stiff and at awkward angles. And Jun could feel how ridged Tetsu’s spine was under his own hands.
“I’m sorry I suck at this,” said Tetsu solemnly.
Jun laughed. “We’ll practice.”
That seemed to satisfy Tetsu who nodded in serious agreement before stepping away. He was already walking inside when he said as almost an afterthought, “I missed you.”
And Jun realized that he had missed Tetsu too.
And maybe that was why his heart had sped up ever so slightly.
---
When Jun couldn’t sleep he walked downstairs and considered the carnation and its bright ruffle of petals. And maybe...they were so common looking because their meanings could happen to anyone.
---
White Lily
白百合
Purity, Chastity
Jun was fifteen when he woke up from a dream he only half-remembered.
Superstition would dictate that the first dream of the year was a foretelling.
If that was true then Jun had no idea of what to think about the hazy impression of skin against skin, of a warm, solid body pressed against his own.
Jun was still thinking about it as him and Tetsu took the train to make their shrine visit. Even through his layers of winter clothes, Jun could feel the warmth of Tetsu’s arm as they stood side by side on the crowded train.
The Yuuki’s were not an openly affectionate family. Jun could tell they loved each other a lot but they expressed it in quiet words and gestures. Touches between them were reserved and few and far between.
So Jun didn’t know what to make of Tetsu and his determination to be a more natural hugger. The only explanation Jun could think of was that Tetsu was observing the Isashikis in much the same way Jun watched the Yuukis interact.
Perhaps he saw the way Ayame would hug him so tightly it was hard to breathe sometimes. Or maybe he saw how his mother would noisily kiss his cheek and then have to rub off her lipstick. Or the way his dad would slap him on the back after setting up the fresh deliveries and declare loudly, “A job well done.”
And Tetsu was getting better. It no longer felt like getting a hug from a particularly affectionate robot. Jun was actually rather proud of him for that.
But it wasn’t just the hugs.
It was the way they stepped off the train and Tetsu placed a hand on Jun’s arm before pointing out the direction they needed to go. The way Tetsu seemed comfortable leaning into Jun’s space as they walked side by side. His head tilted towards Jun as he listened to Jun talk.
The way he just...reached out.
And Jun just...let him.
---
Jun was surprised when Ayame helped him close up the shop. They worked together in silence. Each of them knowing the routine so well neither of them needed words. Jun found comfort in the process but he knew Ayame had always found it boring and tedious. So he wasn’t all that surprised when Ayame sat down on the counter and watched him finish up.
“Did you know that the Suzuki’s own a restaurant?”
“No. Is it any good?”
Ayame shrugged. “Sure.”
Jun snorted. “Glowing review, Ayame.”
When Ayame didn’t say anything or throw anything, Jun stopped sweeping in order to look at her. His sister sat absently kicking her legs and worrying her bottom lip with her teeth. Jun walked over and sat down next to her on the counter. He knocked his shoulder against hers.
“Is Suzuki the oldest?”
Ayame nodded.
“So, he’s going to take over the restaurant?”
Ayame nodded again. “He wants us to run it together.”
“And what do you want?” Ayame didn’t say anything and Jun sighed. “Ayame, do you really want to trade one family business for another?”
“I don’t know! Maybe? Maybe not? I could!”
“You couldn’t even make it through sweeping up the shop so--”
Ayame punched Jun in the arm and Jun smiled because that was more like the sister he knew.
“Why don’t you just do what Riko did?”
“Become a lawyer?”
“Not with your grades,” muttered Jun which earned him another punch. “Go to college. Figure out what you want to do. If it’s meant to be, you and Suzuki will work out.”
“And if it doesn’t?” asked Ayame quietly.
“Then he’s an asshole who never deserved you in the first place.”
Ayame dropped her head onto Jun's shoulder. “When did you become so smart?”
Jun barked a laugh. “Maybe I should become a lawyer too.”
“You’re not that smart,” shot back Ayame who raised her head in order to look at Jun. “Besides...you love it here.”
“Yeah,” admitted Jun. “Probably.”
---
“Have you always known you wanted to be a horishi?”
“Yes,” replied Tetsu as he peeled back the plastic on his popsicle. “Have you not always known you wanted to be a florist?”
Jun opened and closed his mouth. “I guess not.”
They were in the last days of summer vacation. The weather was still warm enough for them to wear tank tops and shorts as they walked to and from the convenience store.
Tetsu had just gotten back from his yearly Okinawa trip. Looking freshly tanned and even taller if Jun wasn’t mistaken. Tetsu was growing up...gracefully. Jun had no other way to describe the long, lean shape of him.
Jun was gangly in comparison. His body still not convinced he wasn’t a twig. All knees and elbows. Despite the few odd hairs growing from his chin.
“I guess…” Jun stopped walking for a second as he gathered his thoughts. “I guess gradually over time I just accepted that Riko and Ayame weren’t interested in running the shop and...I was? I’ve never really thought about it before.”
Jun turned back towards Tetsu and froze as if caught seeing something he shouldn’t. He wasn’t. It was just Tetsu eating a popsicle. And yet...Jun found himself watching the broad swipes of his tongue and the small, kitten licks as he tried to keep the popsicle from dripping onto his hand.
And Jun had forgotten about his first dream of the year…
Until that moment.
---
Jun was fifteen and trying to channel the white lily because he was starting to realize his feelings for his best friend might be more than platonic...
---
Cactus Flower
サボテン
Lust, Sex
Jun was sixteen and confused.
Mostly because he was attracted to a lot of different people for a lot of different reasons.
Like Takahashi who made hand made chocolates for every person in their class for Valentine’s Day. Or Ueda when she threw a mean left hook at a guy who tried to look up her skirt. Or Kinjo when he tried to sneak a stray kitten he found into school because it was raining.
It was like…trying to pick one flower over another. There were too many and they were all so different. Jun had been struggling to pick a flower for himself his whole life. And to make the whole comparison even more confusing, apparently, Jun was expected to add sex to all that confusion. And that was just...confusing.
It was why Jun hated questions like--
“Isashiki, what’s your type?”
“What kind of question is that?” growled Jun as he tried to focus on reading his manga.
Unfortunately, his classmates were sixteen-year-old boys who had a limited number of conversations in their repertoire. And the topic of sex and sexual attraction seemed to be number one on that list.
“Come on, you’ve got to have a type.”
Jun didn’t have the patience to explain why that was wrong. Instead, he wondered how he had gotten roped into this conversation in the first place. No one ever asked Tetsu annoying questions. Jun glanced at Tetsu who was sitting on the other side of the classroom near the window. His head bent in concentration as he drew.
Tetsu had long ago graduated from drawing cherry blossoms. He would still use them as a warm-up. Drawing a full sheet of cherry blossoms before moving on to whatever he was practicing that day. More often than not, it was other flowers--chrysanthemums or lotuses or peonies or maple leaves.
And Jun found himself saying, “I like gentle and kind.”
His classmates laughed at that. Something about how opposites attract. Jun ignored them as he picked up his manga again.
And Jun thought that was the end of it. Except when class finished, Tetsu handed him his practice sheet. His cherry blossoms were pretty much perfect now.
“I heard you have a thing for gentle and kind.”
Jun laughed but he still slipped the sheet of paper into his notebook.
---
And when Jun was alone--late at night or early in the morning--when he was left with nothing but his thoughts to keep him company, he could admit to himself he was attracted to one person more than anyone else…
The flower of the cactus was beautiful but to pick one was to do so at your own risk.
Jun was sixteen.
And maybe not as confused as he thought.
---
Zinnia
百日草
Loyalty
Jun was eighteen years old when he graduated High School.
It seemed like the whole universe was conspiring against him because it really was a picture-perfect day. The sky was blue and the sun was warm and the wind was gentle.
And Jun was wearing his formal school blazer with his diploma tucked under his arm as he stood under the blooming cherry trees.
Graduating was bittersweet. Jun wasn’t like Riko or Ayame. High School wasn’t a stepping stone to higher education. For Jun it had been more like a placeholder. Somewhere he killed time until he was old enough to work at his family’s shop full time.
Jun was still going to miss it. Or rather...he was going to miss seeing Tetsu.
Tetsu was done killing time with school too. He was leaving for Okinawa in a few days. And it wouldn’t be just for the summer. He would be apprenticing with his grandfather for...years this time.
Jun held out his hand and caught a cherry blossom petal in his palm.
“Life is fleeting, right?”
Jun smiled as he turned back towards Tetsu. “Yeah…it turns out it is.”
And Tetsu smiled back at him and Jun had this crazy urge to confess his feelings. Here. Under the cherry blossoms. On the day they graduated. Like a shoujo manga cliche.
The moment was perfect.
And Jun let it go.
---
They hung out one last time before Tetsu left.
By unsaid agreement, they pretended nothing had changed. They went through the motions as if they could ignore that everything was about to change.
Jun could still feel the sadness that seeped into every smile, every joke, every conversation. He couldn’t stop looking at Tetsu out of the corner of his eye. Carefully studying his profile in order to commit it to his memory.
Jun stayed later than was polite but eventually he had to leave before the threat of him breaking down into tears became a reality.
Tetsu saw him to the door and hugged him. They collapsed against one another. Jun wasn’t embarrassed by how tightly he held on because he could feel how Tetsu was holding on to him just as tightly.
Jun smiled weakly when he finally pulled away. “Take care of yourself, Tetsu.”
Tetsu gave a short nod. “You too, Jun.”
“Later!”
“Later.”
Jun turned and refused to look back.
He made it halfway before Tetsu called out, “Jun!”
And there was the sound of approaching footsteps. And Jun spun around. And right there, in the middle of the street, in between the Isashiki and Yuuki shops--
Yuuki Tetsuya kissed him.
Quick and sudden. There and gone. Hit and run.
Jun had barely registered what was happening before Tetsu turned back around, ran back across the street and disappeared into his family’s shop.
Leaving Jun standing in the middle of the road with the feeling of Tetsu’s lips against his own already fading.
---
“He doesn’t want to wait.”
Ayame collapsed onto the stool that sat at the counter and Jun set down the flowers he had been holding. It wasn’t like he was getting any closer to putting them together in a way that, at the very least, resembled a formal arrangement.
“He said he put up with this ‘phase’ but he expected me to settle down and help him run the restaurant after college. As if learning is a phase.”
Ayame examined the flowers Jun had been working with.
“Did you know the edelweiss has been used as a symbol for alpinism? Or that after World War I red poppies are worn to honor soldiers who have died in battle? Or that the tulip in Turkish culture was a symbol of paradise on earth and had almost a divine status? Or that the Aztecs farmed the dahlia’s tubers? Or that in Hawai`i you wear a flower behind your left ear if your in a relationship and the right if your single?” Ayame sighed. “We were taught one language of flowers...but there are hundreds of them.”
Jun stared at his sister. He eventually laughed. “Suzuki knows jackshit about being brave.”
That surprised a laugh out of Ayame. It was short lived. Her face crumpled and she raised her hands to her face as she let out a sob. Jun walked around the counter and hugged her and Ayame clutched the back of his shirt.
“It’s stupid,” she said in between gasps. “He’s stupid. I know he’s stupid. I just--”
“Love him. I know.”
“If someone loves you...aren’t they supposed to understand?”
Jun felt a sudden and sharp rage at that. He let it go as best he could. “I wish it were that easy, Ayame. Do you need me to kick his ass?”
“No, if it came down to that I’d do it myself.”
Jun barked out a laugh and was pleasantly surprised when Ayame laughed too. She was still smiling as she pulled away and wiped the tears from her eye.
“I want to travel.”
Jun plucked the zinnia off of the counter. It had bright orange petals and a sunny yellow center. He broke off most of the stem and stuck it behind Ayame’s right ear.
“Of course, you do.”
Ayame beamed at him through her tears. Bright and happy and free.
And then she ruined it by asking,
“What about your love life?”
Jun snorted as he looked away. Collecting the flowers on the counter in order to have something to do with his hands.
“What love life?”
---
Tetsu sent him postcards from Okinawa.
Postcards without any words on them except the address to the floral shop written in Tetsu’s steady hand.
Instead, the postcards were covered in cherry blossoms. Each drawn with painstaking precision.
Jun taped every single postcard to the wall in his room.
He imagined that there were enough to fill a whole forest.