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The bar was noisy and crowded, the music barely audible over the hum of casual chatter between the patrons, but he welcomed the loud and chaotic distraction from his thoughts. Buck wasn’t really sure what had possessed him to go to a bar of all places, especially considering that his blood thinners didn’t allow him to consume much more than a beer or two every once in a while, but he was tired of sitting alone at home. His friends, though finally starting to come around and treat him like they used to while on the clock, were still keeping him at arm’s length in their personal lives. No more were the post-shift get togethers, the day off lunches, he hadn’t even been invited to anyone’s home aside from Maddie’s since he had stormed out of his dinner with Bobby and Athena. He’d tried to invite them to his place, but everyone seemed to have plans already whenever he did, no matter how many times he asked. Finally he just gave up trying altogether, tired of the constant rejection. No one seemed to really trust him as a friend anymore. Chim still joked with him at the station, but only ever really hung out with Buck when Maddie was involved. Bobby was still treating him strictly as a subordinate and not in the fatherly way that Buck had gotten used to and grown fond of. Hen was the only one who truly seemed to still like him at all, but with the IVF treatments and family planning, she'd had more than enough on her plate to keep her busy without Buck burdening her with his need for human interaction, so he left her alone for the most part. And Eddie, well…
Eddie fucking hated him.
And apparently the universe did, too.
He sat at the bar, shoulders hunched and arms crossed in front of his ginger ale, attempting to make his broad frame look as small as possible. He was beginning to deeply regret his choice to stay as happy hour rolled around, but the deafening silence of his apartment was even less appealing than the feeling of sweaty drunk people bumping into him as they requested another round. He kept his head down, trying to make it perfectly clear that he was not in the mood for conversation, flirtation, or any other form of socialization, but it seemed his resting bitch face wasn’t quite enough to deter some people. And that was how he found himself with a tall, broad man suddenly standing so uncomfortably close to him that Buck had to turn his head to avoid smelling his vodka breath.
“You look down,” the guy said, a wolfish grin on his face. “I can give you something to smile about.”
Buck huffed a sigh but fought the urge to roll his eyes, not wanting his sour mood to force him into being rude to a stranger who didn't deserve it. As much as he wanted to get laid, if only for the stress relief, his heart belonged to Eddie. It was something he had finally realized just before he had gone and ruined everything good in his life. And though they weren’t together, and Eddie pretty much hated him and wanted nothing to do with him anymore, the idea of sleeping with someone else at that moment just felt like a betrayal. “No thanks, man. Not in the mood tonight.”
The man leaned in a little closer, clearly not catching the hint. “I could get you into the mood.”
Buck gave into his instinct and decided this guy deserved a little bit of rudeness. “Seriously, dude, leave me alone.”
With that, Buck swiveled the top of his stool to face away from the man, pointedly looking out toward the rest of the bar. The man now behind him grumbled lowly, and a beat later Buck could feel his presence drift away from him. He sighed in relief, shoulders slumping as he leaned back against the bar. Grabbing his glass, he threw back the last of his ginger ale with one gulp, setting the glass back down a little harder than he really needed to. He motioned for the bartender to bring him another one to soothe his stomach as it started to swirl and churn with anxiety. He should get out of there, perhaps go somewhere a bit quieter and more appropriate for someone who couldn’t really drink and wasn’t in the mood for a one night stand. A diner, perhaps. If he couldn't drink himself into oblivion, he could at least slip into a waffle-induced food coma.
As the bartender set another ginger ale in front of him, Buck flashed her a grateful smile, earning a wink from the tiny redhead. But the smile quickly fell away from Buck’s face as the shelves of bottles behind the bar started to move in slow, circular motions. His brow furrowed as he tried to force his eyes to focus onto one spot, but it was like every muscle in his body was beginning to relax of their own accord, starting with his eyes. His chest was starting to feel like it was stuffed full of cotton, keeping his lungs from being able to fully expand. He curled and uncurled his hands in front of him, confused by how strange and numb they felt, as if they were no longer his. His heart was starting to race as panic set in and he looked around the bar with wide eyes, his vision starting to darken at the edges. He tried to call out, tried to force enough air out of his lungs to make a sound that was louder than a whisper, but it was like the muscles that made his voice work were relaxing too.
And that’s when he saw him, the man from before. He sat at the corner of the bar, watching Buck with a devilish grin on his face. As the man rose from his stool and sauntered over to him, everything seemed to sink in, sending Buck’s heart plummeting into his stomach. A chill ran down his spine as the man leaned in close to his ear, whispering into Buck’s ear as the world started to fade out of focus.
“In the mood now?”
…
There was really no reason for Eddie to be there other than the fact that he didn’t feel like going home to an empty house. Christopher was at another sleepover, and though Eddie felt the rage bubbling up inside him, he wasn’t scheduled for a fight that night. Though the junk yard fights had been great for stress relief, he couldn't justify the damage he'd endure when he could just wait for a fight that would actually pay.
So if he wasn’t going to fight, he was going to drink.
As he crossed the parking lot a pair who had just exited the bar caught his eye. One man was clearly wasted, the other practically carrying him toward a maroon sedan. He didn't think anything of them until the drunk one, slightly taller but just as broad in the shoulders as the other, mumbled something incoherently as his head flopped to the side.
Eddie’s stomach dropped.
He froze in his tracks, heart pounding as alarm bells rang out in his head. Buck never got hammered, he hated being out of control of his body. And even if he did, he was on blood thinners. There was no way that Buck would jeopardize his health or his place at the 118 after fighting so hard to get it all back. Something wasn’t right at all.
“Hey!” he called out, jogging to catch up with the pair who had already made it halfway to the other end of the parking lot.
The man who was practically carrying Buck glanced back at him before picking up his pace. Eddie ran around to cut them off, the hairs on the back of his neck standing on end at the look of anger on the stranger's face.
“Who the hell are you?” Eddie all but growled, wound up and ready to fight for his best friend.
“What’s it to you?” the man spat. “Look, dude, I’m just trying to get my friend home safely--”
“Oh, he's your friend? Then what’s his name?” Eddie challenged, clenching his fists at his sides.
The man was taken aback by the question but recovered smoothly. “None of your bus--”
“His name is Buck, he’s my friend, and I know for a fact that he didn’t get drunk tonight.”
The man’s eyes widened. In one quick motion he shoved Buck at Eddie and took off running toward his car, the firefighter barely able to catch his friend before he could collapse to the ground like a ragdoll. As much as he wanted to chase after the creep and beat him senseless, the unconscious and vulnerable man in his arms needed him more than Eddie needed release or revenge. He guided Buck to the ground carefully, cradling his lifeless body against his chest with gentle hands.
“I've got you, Buck. You're okay. You're safe," Eddie whispered reassuringly, pressing his fingers to his friend’s neck.
He heaved a sigh of relief when he found Buck's pulse to be steady and strong under his fingers, if a little elevated. He was breathing clearly, but even as Eddie gently tapped his cheek and rubbed his sternum, Buck was completely unresponsive. Eddie took a deep breath to calm his own racing heart, pulling out his phone and dialing 911.
…
The steady beep of the heart monitor was Eddie’s only company in the small room in the ER. He had assured Maddie over the phone that Buck was safe and alive, that going to the hospital was only a precaution, and that there was no reason to leave her shift early. So she had stayed at work, but only after Eddie had sworn up and down that he would call her and let her speak to Buck the moment he woke up. The promise to stay by Buck's side the entire time had gone unspoken, but he was already going to do that whether she wanted him to or not. Eddie had barely let go of Buck since he’d caught him in the parking lot. With a little white lie about the nature of their relationship, he had been allowed to ride with Buck in the ambulance and stay by his side the entire time, watching over his charge with a fierce diligence that made the nurses slightly nervous and afraid to make eye contact with Eddie.
They'd pumped Buck's stomach almost immediately after they'd gotten there, then set him up with an IV to flush the rest of the drug from his system with hydrating fluids and vitamins. He looked so small and fragile lying in the bed. His lips were set in a soft frown, brows knitted together as he slept restlessly. Eddie kept a firm grip on the hand that didn’t have a needle in the back of it, wanting to make sure that Buck awoke with a sense of security after the night he'd had. Eddie’s heart broke imagining the fear that must have gripped Buck before he'd blacked out. The man had been through so much fear and anguish over the last year, he didn’t need a selfish, disgusting piece of human garbage to add to his laundry list of traumas. If he could cover Buck in bubble wrap and keep him tucked safely away from the cruel world for the rest of his life, Eddie would in a heartbeat.
And if he ever got his hands on that rat bastard--
Buck started awake with a sharp intake of breath, startling Eddie from his thoughts. Wide blue eyes rapidly filled with tears as he sat up looked around the room in confusion, the heart monitor beside them beeping frantically.
“Shh, hey. You're okay, Buck. Look at me." Eddie squeezed Buck’s hand firmly, running his other hand up and down his arm soothingly until Buck's watery eyes met his. "You’re okay. You’re safe.”
Eddie had never seen Buck look so terrified, but the words seemed to break through to him and bring him back to reality. His hand was trembling as he curled his cold fingers tightly around Eddie's as he stared at him.
“Eddie…" Buck's voice broke on the name, sending a pang of sorrow through Eddie's chest.
His eyes darting to where their hands lay entwined on top of the mattress, Buck pulled away so quickly it was like he'd been burned by Eddie's touch. He brought his legs up to his chest and scooted back in the bed, curling in on himself.
Buck swallowed with a wince, tears rolling down his flushed cheeks as he stared at the spot on the bed where their hands had been. "Did he… W-was I…”
"No," Eddie cut him off as quickly as he could get the word out, and Buck's eyes snapped to his. “Nothing happened. You're okay. You’re safe.”
Buck blinked at him. “How… why are you here?”
Eddie smiled softly. “He was leaving the bar with you when I was heading in. The moment I saw you I knew something was wrong, and when I called him out on it, he dumped you on me and ran. I only brought you here because I didn’t know what he gave you or how it would react to your blood thinners.”
Buck stared at him incredulously, brow furrowed in confusion. “But… why?”
Eddie frowned. “Why what?”
“Why did you save me?”
Eddie’s heart shattered.
Did Buck really think he hated him that much? It was like being woken up by a punch to the gut. He knew he’d been a bit of an ass to him, probably a bit more than Buck really deserved, but Eddie hadn’t thought about what that would do to Buck’s already low self worth. He felt pressure building behind his eyes, but he kept it in. “Buck… just because I’m a little upset with you doesn’t mean I don’t care about you.”
Buck blinked. “I thought… I thought you hated me…”
“I could never hate you, Buck.” Eddie smiled softly, reaching out to offer his hand back to Buck. “You’re like a puppy. You got into the trash and tore up the house, and yeah, I’m pissed, but I still love you. And I would never let anything happen to you. I've got your back, no matter what.”
Fresh tears welled up in Buck’s eyes as he grinned, tentatively curling his fingers around Eddie's. “I love you, too, you big softie.”
Eddie snorted, squeezing Buck's hand softly. “I am still pissed, by the way, but we can talk about that when you’re not lying in a hospital bed.”
“Good idea," Buck chuckled, his entire body already starting to relax again as the beeping monitor went back to a steady rhythm. "My head’s still a bit too foggy for a deep conversation anyway.”
“Your head is always foggy, Buck.”
“Rude.”
Buck’s eyes were starting to droop, but despite the soft smile on his face, Eddie could plainly see the fear still in the blue depths. What Buck had been through that night was sure to have what ifs haunting his nightmares for a while, but at least for that moment, Eddie could do something about it.
“Listen, they said they were going to keep you tonight for observation, so why don't you go back to sleep?"
Fear flashed a bit brighter in Buck's eyes and he shook his head. "I'm fine."
"Buck, your body has been through hell tonight. Lay down, go back to sleep." He squeezed Buck’s hand, returning his worried gaze with a soft smile. “I'll be right here."
Buck looked unsure, but after a moment of blinking heavily he nodded in agreement. Never letting go of Eddie's hand, he settled back down on his side.
Eddie reached up with his free hand to comb his fingers through Buck's hair soothingly. "I won’t let anything happen to you.”
Buck smiled, running his thumb over Eddie’s knuckles. “I know.”