Work Text:
“I’m not rooming with Reid.”
Spencer grimaced sheepishly. He wasn’t too surprised Morgan didn’t want to pair up with him since his last ‘two-a.m.-screaming-nightmare’ ordeal, but he wasn’t expecting him to be so blunt about it. Spencer had no idea what to say, so he just bit his lip and waved a hand in a noncommittal gesture.
“Reid, you’re with me. Everyone else, pair off and get some sleep.”
Hotch to the rescue, as usual. Spencer smiled at him gratefully, slinging his messenger bag over his shoulder.
The team headed up to their rooms. Just before they parted ways, Morgan sidled up next to Spencer and nudged him in the ribs. “No hard feelings, kid? I’m just shot, I need to get some good sleep.”
Spencer ducked his head and reddened, but grinned abashedly down at his shoes. “Understood, Morgan. See you in the morning.”
Morgan ruffled his hair. “Night, pretty boy.”
Spencer watched him head into his room with Garcia and then glanced back down the hallway. Hotch was standing outside what was presumably to be their room, watching him carefully. Spencer hustled to join him, and the two began to settle in for the night.
“It’s been a while since we roomed together,” Hotch pointed out as he prepared to change into his pajamas.
“Six months and three weeks,” Spencer confirmed, taking note of Hotch’s small smile.
“I don’t remember you snoring or anything.”
“Oh.” Spencer should have known it would come up, that Hotch wouldn’t just drop it. “Yeah, no. I don’t.”
Aaron raised an eyebrow expectantly and Spencer sighed. “It’s the nightmares,” he explained, not quite meeting Hotch’s gaze. “They’ve gotten pretty bad. Last week me and Morgan roomed together and I woke him up with my screaming.” He sat heavily on the bed facing away from Hotch. “I’m sorry you got stuck with me. I have a lot of work to do on the geo-profile anyway, so I probably won’t even sleep. I’ll try not to bother you.”
A long moment of silence later and Spencer startled when a weight settled unexpectedly next to him on the bed. He looked up into Hotch’s concerned dark eyes and his heart stuttered.
“Reid…” Hotch started and then shook his head, trying again. “Spencer. Why didn’t you tell anyone?”
Spencer shrugged. “I didn’t want to burden you guys. I figured they would stop on their own, eventually. And… I guess I was embarrassed.”
“We all have nightmares, Spencer,” Aaron said gently. “Every one of us has been there.”
Spencer stood up, agitated, and faced his boss. “So bad you woke up your colleague sleeping in another room? So bad that you’re terrified of falling asleep? Because as long as we’re being completely honest here, Hotch, there’s probably as much caffeine coursing through my veins as there is blood. I’m exhausted, but every time I let myself sleep, I see… I see…” Spencer lost his steam and sat abruptly back onto the bed, energy gone as quickly as it had come.
Hotch pressed the tips of his fingers to the back of Spencer’s hand. Such a tiny gesture, but Spencer felt every point of contact between them like an electric charge. “What do you see?” he asked, voice so soft and gentle it was hardly audible.
Spencer turned to look at him, and Hotch’s face was so openly concerned and genuine that it made his chest hurt. “I see you die,” Spencer whispered, voice cracking a bit. “Over and over. Sometimes it’s one of the others, but usually it’s you. And it’s always my fault.”
Hotch curled his fingers around Spencer’s hand, gripping it tight. “I wish there was something I could do to stop the nightmares. All I can do is say that I’m here, now, and I’m okay. I’m going to be okay.”
“You can’t know that,” Spencer replied. “Not with our jobs. You don’t know.”
“Spencer. Look at me.” Hotch used his thumb and forefinger to grip his chin lightly and turn his face towards him. Hotch looked serious, grave almost, except his eyes were warm. Their faces were close, so close. Spencer could press forward just the tiniest bit and their lips would meet. His eyes lingered on Hotch’s lips. So close..
“Spence. Look.” Hotch was even more quiet now, hardly a whisper. Spencer flushed and tore his gaze away from Hotch’s lips to look into that warm, solemn gaze. “Do you want to know how I know that I’m going to be okay?”
Spencer swallowed hard. The atmosphere around them was heavy, thick with words unspoken. Every nerve on high alert. “Tell me.”
And then, just like that, Aaron closed those last excruciating inches between them and pressed their lips together in a chaste, sweet kiss. He pulled away far too soon and rested his forehead against Spencer’s, leaving him panting with want.
“I know I’ll be okay because I have you with me. As long as I have you, I’ll be fine.” Aaron smiled and pressed a kiss to the top of Spencer’s head.
“Well, I suppose that means there’s nothing to worry about then,” Spencer sighed and pressed his hand flat against Aaron’s chest. “Because you have me. Always.”
When Spencer fell asleep that night wrapped in Aaron’s strong arms, he slept soundly, and was not awoken by a single nightmare.