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“HEY! Earth to Buck.”
The loud snapping of fingers in front of his face brought him back to reality. Blearily, Buck blinked a few times to bring Chim’s face into focus.
“Hmm what?” Buck answered, straightening in his chair. Chim raised an eyebrow.
“We’re back at the station. You planning on staying in the truck or…?” Chim let the question hang. Buck glanced around and was surprised to see that, yes, they were indeed parked in the garage. Weren’t they just leaving that house fire in Glendale? Out of the open door, he could see Bobby, Hen, and Eddie already hanging up their turnouts and stripping off their gear.
“Oh. Yeah…yeah, I’m coming.” He croaked. Clumsily, Buck began undoing his seatbelt. Chim considered him with an appraising look, his head cocked to the side.
“You okay? You seem a little…I don’t know…off.”
“Never better.” Buck said, pasting on a bright smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes.
“Riiiiiiiiight.” Chim replied, drawing the word all the way out. “Why don’t you go drop your gear. Bobby’ll have lunch ready soon.”
With that, they hopped out of the truck and headed over to the lockers. For some reason, everything seemed to weigh a thousand pounds today. The zippers and buttons were slippery and kept sliding out of his fingers as he tried to pull them off. When Buck finally managed to undo them, he found that he couldn’t quite get his arms out of his jacket sleeves. Maybe someone had given him the wrong size…
“Need a hand?” Asked Eddie, coming up behind him. The question was irrelevant as he was already helping Buck shrug out of the heavy coat.
“Thanks.” Buck mumbled, grateful for the assistance. Eddie smiled faintly.
“No problem. You seemed to be taking your sweet time today. Lunch is almost ready, and I didn’t want you to miss out. Can’t have you getting skinny on us, now can we?” Though he was smiling, Eddie’s eyes raked over his friend, noting the pale skin and the subtle flush in his cheeks.
“Right. Lunch. We should go get lunch.” Buck replied disjointedly. He started toward the stairs, but Eddie stopped him with a hand on his shoulder.
“In your turnout pants?” He asked, pointing down at Buck’s legs.
“Right...pants…forgot about the pants.” Frowning, Eddie gently pushed him to sit down on the bench.
“What’s goin’ on with you?” He asked as Buck shimmied out of the last of his gear.
“Me? I’m great. Why?” Buck responded a little too quickly.
“Well, for starters you-“ Eddie began, but a shout from upstairs cut him off.
“Hey slowpokes!” Hen called. “You want any of this spaghetti you better get up here!” Hanging his pants on their hook, Buck headed upstairs.
“You comin’?” He asked Eddie, his grin a little too wide and his eyes a little too bright.
“Right behind you.” Eddie said quietly, watching as Buck swayed ever so slightly on his feet.
“Buck?” Buck’s head snapped up as Bobby repeated his name. From the tone and the way everyone at the table was staring, it was obvious that it wasn’t the first time.
“Yeah Cap?” Bobby glanced pointedly at Buck’s full plate, then back up at him.
“Are you planning on actually eating your food, or just playing with it?” He asked. Looking down, Buck realized that he had been zoned out for the last ten minutes, doing nothing but twirling the pasta in his fork without actually taking a bite.
“I…I’m not that hungry right now.” Four sets of eyes widened.
“Evan Buckley. Not hungry. I never thought I’d see the day.” Hen said in surprise.
“Seriously, dude. Your stomach’s like a black hole.” Chim added. “What gives?”
“I had a big breakfast.” Buck lied, resisting the urge to push the plate away. The sight of the slippery noodles and the smell of the garlic was making his stomach churn.
“Never stopped you before.” Eddie commented.
“Are you feeling alright?” Bobby asked, brows furrowed slightly in concern.
“Yeah. Yeah, I’m just…” Buck paused, swallowing back his nausea. “I’m just tired is all. I think I might go catch a few in the bunks, if that’s okay?” Bobby fixed him with a considering look for a moment, then nodded.
“Get some rest.” He said finally. Buck wasted no time clearing away his dishes and all but running out of the room. The table was silent for a few minutes before Hen spoke up.
“Who is that and what has he done with our Buck?”
As soon as he was out of sight, Buck made a beeline for the bathrooms. He barely had time to lock the stall door before he was falling to his knees in front of the bowl and losing what little he’d managed to eat that morning. It wasn’t much, just a few bites of toast and the glass of water he’d downed with some Tylenol. By the time his stomach had finished turning itself inside out, his head was positively throbbing. With a shaking hand, he reached out blindly and flushed the toilet.
Buck wasn’t sure how long he sat there, face pressed to the cool porcelain, trying to reign in his breathing. Eventually, he forced himself to his feet and staggered over to the sink to rinse his mouth. The cold water from the faucet felt like heaven against his overheated skin. When he straightened up, he couldn’t help the wince as he caught his reflection in the mirror. The face that stared back at him was pale and drawn, with the only color coming from the red in his cheeks and the dark rings around his eyes. Even his lips were trembling faintly. Buck gave himself a slight shake and pushed away from the counter. It was fine. He was fine. He just needed to sleep this off for a few hours and he’d be okay. If only the room would stop spinning and his body could decide on a temperature...With one last glance at his pitiful reflection, Buck stumbled unsteadily toward the waiting bunks.
In contrast to their busy morning, the rest of the shift had been remarkably slow. It seemed that, for once, the city of Los Angeles didn’t need the 118 to rush in and save the day. It gave them all a chance to breathe, to catch up on restocks and repairs…and to worry about Buck. After his hasty exit at lunch, they’d all felt the worry settling over them like a dark cloud. They did their best to go about their jobs, but every few minutes their eyes wandered upstairs. After about three hours, Eddie couldn’t take it anymore. Tossing aside the rag he’d been using to wipe down the ladder truck, he headed off in search of his friend.
It wasn’t hard to find him. The bunk rooms were rarely used this time of day and only one bed was occupied. As Eddie approached, he was struck by how strange it was to see Buck lying there so still. They’d been friends long enough for him to know that Buck was always in motion. The young man was like an eternal ball of kinetic energy. Even in his sleep, he was always kicking and rolling. It was something they all found oddly endearing. Now, though, Buck was no more than a lump under the blankets. This immediately set alarms ringing in Eddie’s head.
“Buck?” He called softly, not wanting to startle him. When Buck did not so much as twitch, Eddie sat down on the edge of the bed and gently shook his leg. “Buck? You in there?” Still nothing. With growing unease, Eddie peeled the blankets back from Buck’s face. His face fell as he took in his friend’s sweaty, disheveled appearance. Eddie held a palm to Buck’s forehead and grimaced at the heat rolling off it. Buck seemed to rouse a bit at his touch, coughing slightly as he leaned into it.
“Mmmmmmm…” Buck hummed, his brow creasing a bit. Eddie huffed out a small, sad laugh and gently stroked Buck’s forehead with his thumb.
“There you are. Think you can wake up a bit for me?”
“Do I have to?” Buck’s gravelly voice was painful to listen to.
“I can go get Bobby, make it an order if you’d like.” Eddie joked. Buck groaned, but cracked open his eyes nonetheless.
“S’goin’ on? We get a call?”
“No, it’s been slow. We’ve all been pretty worried about you, though. And for good reason it looks like. Why didn’t you tell us you were sick?” Eddie chastised lightly.
“I’m not sick.” Buck replied unconvincingly. “Just need to sleep off this headache and I’ll be good.” Eddie snorted.
“And this fever you got going? Gonna just sleep that off too?”
“I don’t have a fever?”
“Is that a question?”
“Uh…maybe?” Buck managed before breaking off into a harsh coughing fit. Eddie took pity on him and propped him up.
“Somehow, I don’t believe you.” He murmured, rubbing soothing circles on Buck’s back. When the coughs finally tapered off, Buck melted back into Eddie’s shoulder, completely spent. They sat there for a few minutes, nothing but the sound of Buck’s labored breathing between them.
“Eddie?” Buck rasped, his eyes still closed.
“Yeah?”
“Think I might be a little sick.”
“I think so, too, buddy. Why don’t I go grab some supplies, see what we’re dealing with, huh?” Eddie suggested. Buck made a small noise of ascent, so Eddie carefully slid him back down to lie on the pillows. “Be right back.” He promised. True to his word, Eddie quickly returned, and he wasn’t alone.
“How’s he doing?” Bobby said softly, as if afraid to wake him.
“He is right here.” Mumbled Buck.
“It lives.” Eddie teased, sitting next to him and digging through a med kit.
“Laugh it up, Diaz. You-“ Whatever else he was going to say was lost as Buck dissolved into another coughing fit. The world greyed out for a few seconds and when he finally managed to pull in enough air to think, Bobby was at his side, holding him against his chest.
“Easy, kid. Just breathe, nice and slow.” Bobby coached. Dimly, Buck registered the feeling of something swiping across his forehead, followed by a mechanical beep.
“Yikes…you do not do anything by halves.” Eddie muttered. “Temps at 102.9. You know that calling in sick is a thing, right?”
“Didn’t feel this bad…this morning.” Whispered Buck.
“I’m willing to bet you still felt pretty awful, though.” Bobby countered. “Did you actually eat breakfast this morning, or was that just the excuse you used to get out of lunch?” Bobby’s voice was gentle, but at the same time, it held that fatherly, no nonsense tone that Buck was powerless against.
“Not really.” He admitted.
“I’m gonna guess you haven’t had much to drink either.” Eddie inferred. “You’re pretty dehydrated.”
“Vomiting?” Asked Bobby. Buck nodded. There was no point in lying now and, honestly, he didn’t have the energy. Eddie blew out his cheeks as he thought for a moment.
“Okay, first things first, we gotta get you some fluids and some meds. Do you think you’d be able to keep anything down right now?”
“Maybe?” Buck said uncertainly.
“Yeah, I’m gonna take that as a no.” Eddie surmised. “You need to stop answering questions with questions, pal.”
“How about we run an IV.” Bobby suggested. “There’s about two hours left on this shift. You can rest up in here while they run and by the time they’re finished, it’ll be time to go home. Sound good?”
“Feel bad you guys are doing all the work.” Buck said, avoiding the question. Eddie ruffled his hair a bit and stood up to go grab the supplies.
“Forget it, man. You’ve covered for me – hell, all of us – more times that I can count. We’ve got you.”
Buck closed his eyes and felt himself drift a bit, lulled by the sound of Eddie’s heavy boots thumping against the floor. He was on the edge of sleep when Bobby’s soft voice broke the silence.
“You know, I’m almost certain we’ve had this conversation before. The one about it being okay to ask for help when you need it?”
“I really thought I’d be fine. Wasn’t a big deal. I’ve made it through worse.” Buck replied sleepily. Bobby sighed.
“That’s not the point, Buck. You shouldn’t feel like you have to keep going until you collapse. I know what you’ve gone through, everything you’ve had to endure to get here. But the fact that you’ve survived those things shouldn’t mean that it has to get that bad before you admit that you need help.”
“Guess I just learned to deal with things on my own. Always have.” Buck’s quiet admission left a hollow feeling in his chest. Bobby wanted to personally hunt down everyone that had ever made the boy feel like he was a burden, like he was alone.
“You don’t have to anymore. You have a family here and families, the real ones, take care of each other.” He said, holding Buck a little tighter. “You’re always taking care of us. Will you let us do the same for you?”
“Okay.”
The rest of the shift flew by in a blur. Eddie had just finished setting up Buck’s IVs when the alarms began blaring. The last image they had of Buck was him pulling a pillow over his head as they sprinted off toward the trucks. After that, they were sucked into the drama of a ceiling collapse at a pizzeria. Two and half hours of rescue and triage and treatment later, they were finally back at the station, ready to clock out. Once they’d all stripped out of their gear, they headed up to the bunkroom to check on the youngest of their team.
“Rise and shine, Buck.” Eddie called, dropping onto the mattress next to him. “Time to go home.” Buck groaned and curled tighter into the blankets.
“Geez, you weren’t kidding when you said he looked bad.” Chim muttered in concern. Bobby frowned and palmed Buck’s forehead.
“I think his fever’s gone up. Buck? You with us, kiddo?” He asked, giving the man a small shake. After moment, Buck’s lids fluttered.
“S’it time for work?” He mumbled groggily.
“Not quite, brother.” Replied Eddie as he carefully removed the IVs. “Shift’s over.”
“Oh…right. Where are m’ keys?” Buck forced himself gracelessly to his feet, then immediately pitched forward. Luckily, Hen had predicted the impending collapse and was quick to grab him
“Not so fast, hon.” She said, steering him to sit on the edge of the bed.
“Yeah, you’re not driving.” Bobby decided as he studied Buck’s glassy, unfocused eyes. “And you’re definitely not going home alone tonight. You’ll stay with me and Athena.” Buck said nothing, just continued to blink up at him with those huge, blue eyes. It was clear he wasn’t tracking their conversation very well. “Chim, you wanna go grab a fresh set of clothes from his locker?”
“On it, Cap.” Chim tossed over his shoulder. While they waited, Eddie began checking Buck over again.
“Hmmm…your temp is definitely up. 103.3. Not in the danger zone yet, but not great. Your lungs are a bit congested too.” He concluded. To Bobby, he asked “You got enough supplies at your place?”
“Yeah, we’re good. May had the flu a few weeks ago and we’ve got plenty left over from that.” Bobby answered.
“Okay,” Chim announced when he returned, “we’ve got some nice comfy sweats and your favorite t-shirt.” Between the four of them, they managed to wrestle a wholly unresisting Buck into the new clothes. Bobby was just tying the laces on his shoes when Buck, who had been zoned out for the last several minutes, finally spoke.
“Where’re we goin’?” He slurred, obviously still half asleep.
“Home, Buck. You’re staying with me, remember?” Bobby reminded him.
“Home…” Buck repeated in a daze, a small smile curving at his lips
When they finally reached the house, Bobby was relieved to see Athena waiting at the door. As soon as they were out of the car, she began strutting toward them with her arms crossed over her chest. Bobby had to suppress a grin. With Harry and May staying with Michael for the next few days, he knew Buck would be on the receiving end of his wife’s full maternal energy.
“It’s always you, isn’t it?” She asked, equal parts disapproving and affectionate. Buck’s bleary eyes found hers after a moment and he flashed her a small, goofy smile.
“Hey ‘thena.” Athena snorted and looped one of her arms around him.
“C’mon, let’s get you into bed, Buckaroo.” She said, leading him slowly inside. Bobby followed a few steps behind, marveling at the two of them. Although they’d gotten off to a rocky start, their relationship had blossomed in a way that made Bobby’s heart swell. The sight of two of the most important people in his life coming together like that filled him with a sense wholeness he hadn’t felt in a long time.
With Athena’s help, they managed to slowly guide an unsteady Buck through the house and into the guestroom. Buck paused in the threshold, his eyes welling up a bit when he noticed that the covers had already been pulled back, revealing that the bed had been made with his favorite blankets.
“Thank you.” He sniffed quietly. “This is…this is way too nice. I promise I’ll clean up before I leave. I’ll do the laundry and-“
“Shhh, none of that now. You don’t need to worry about a thing.” Athena soothed. “I know that Buckley heart of gold has you wanting to help out, but you’re in no condition for that. Just let us take care of you, alright hon?” Buck nodded shyly and allowed himself to be led over to the bed.
“I’m gonna go grab some cold medicine, okay? I’ll be right back.” Bobby promised. The look of absolute trust on Buck’s face nearly took him out at the knees. Buck was not his son, but damn if he wasn’t the spitting image of his Robert. If his boy had lived, Bobby knew he’d be just like him. That same toothy grin, that rebellious streak, compassionate soul…
Once they’d convinced Buck, who was quickly fading, to take the medication, Bobby and Athena eased him back into the soft sheets. While Bobby pulled the blinds closed, Athena gently stroked her fingers through Buck’s sweat dampened hair and he hummed contentedly at her touch.
“Feels nice.” He murmured.
“Didn’t your mama ever do this for you when you were sick?” Athena asked softly.
“Not really. Wasn’t ‘round much.” Buck said, not noticing the way Athena’s eyes widened.
“Well, I’ve got nowhere to be.” She replied, her fingers never stopping. Bobby perched on the edge of the mattress, one hand on Athena’s shoulder and the other on Buck’s leg.
“Get some rest, kid. We’ll be right here.”
They sat there quietly, watching as Buck finally gave in to pull of sleep. As his breathing evened out and his body relaxed, Athena looked up at Bobby.
“So…should we start filling out the adoption papers now, or…?” She whispered, her tone only half joking. Bobby laughed and pulled her close, suddenly overwhelmed by the wonderful life he had.