Work Text:
Even looked around him at the buildings framing the school yard, the evening light starting to paint the brick walls with broad golden strokes.
Students were crossing the courtyard in small groups, heading for the cafeteria, their respective dorms, or some study rooms for the most assiduous ones. The sound of their laughters and lively conversations was resonating between the walls.
Another day , Even thought. Just another day. Tomorrow at the same time, they will cross this same courtyard with backpacks and suitcases and leave the school to spend the weekend at home with their families.
All of them, except Even. He will stay here, alone, but still, a lot less lonely.
He didn’t mind the loneliness really. He wasn't here to make friends anyway. He knew he was here for just a year, then he would go to university as he had planned and really start over this time.
When he arrived here, Even thought he would be able to blend in the sea of students all wearing the same school uniform. Okay, sure, he was a head taller than everybody else and it was a bit odd to be transferred in a boarding school only for your final year, but it shouldn't be enough to pique the other students’ interest, right?
Unfortunately, it was. And after just a few weeks, even though he ended up in a school two hours away from his home were he didn’t know anybody, Even started to feel the weight of inquisitive looks on his back as he walked down the hallways, followed by the whispers and soon, the rumors.
Crazy, meltdown, weirdo …
How did these words follow him all the way here so quickly ?
So much for blending in.
Well, so be it. Again, Even wasn’t here to meet new people anyway, he would just focus on his studies and on getting out of here. He needed to stay focused on the year ahead, that was the plan. Simple.
But then, there was this boy. And he definitely wasn’t part of the plan.
Because if developing new friendships was not indispensable, developing a new crush was absolutely out of the question.
Until… until he laid eyes on this boy with his wild golden curls and pretty lips so delicately drawn. His eyes were a deep green, green like the tie of the school uniform he was always wearing a little bit loose around his neck, until a professor would pass by and call him to order.
He didn’t look like the most talkative one in his group of friends, listening to them with his brows furrowed and rolling his eyes at their jokes, resisting until he would finally take part in their banter. Sometimes, he would look aside and Even could see his mind was wandering away.
Where does your mind go? What are you daydreaming about? Because my daydreams are filled with images of you.
*
When Even woke up on saturday morning, he stretched his long limbs in his bed, snuggled back under his blanket, and simply enjoying the silence around him. His roommate’s bed was empty, the students had left for the weekend, the school was quiet.
He was finally alone.
Even got dressed, picked up his drawing supplies and headed outside like he did every weekend since he arrived here. He spent hours wandering around the school, in the gardens and made sketches of the old buildings and the nature surrounding them.
Sometimes, he would even draw a face from memory. A pointy nose, chiseled lips, tousled curls…
The last days of summer were long gone and it was getting colder and colder every week. When a drizzle began to fall on his sketchbook, Even sighed knowing he couldn't stay in the park any longer and went back inside.
Even headed to the library where he hoped he would find some art and photography books he could draw from. The large room was silent, the only sound resonating under the high ceilings was the squeaking of the large door when Even pushed it close. Even took in the calm and studious atmosphere, the smell of dust and paper, and then looked for the art section.
When he had found a few books he could work from, Even decided to find a table in the reading room where he would have enough space to settle his books and supplies. He was spoilt for choice, the reading room was as empty as the rest of the school, but he was instantly drawn to a source of light in the corner of the room, like a moth to a flame.
There, leaning over a table, surrounded by books and papers, his blonde curls shining under the warm light of the brass study lamp like a golden halo, was the boy.
Even froze, unable to take his eyes off him. It was the first time he saw the boy without his school uniform, the fitted blazer replaced by a soft looking grey hoodie, a white tee shirt hanging a bit loose under his neck, just like he would usually wear his tie.
“Do you wanna sit down or are you gonna stand there creeping on me?”
Fuck . Even panicked, wondering how long he had spent lost in his thought looking at him like an idiot.
“Um, sorry… I thought there was just me, I’ll find another table.” he stuttered and thanked the dim lighting of the room because he knew he was probably blushing like crazy.
“It’s alright” the boy said, tilting his head up and looking right at him, his beautiful green eyes locked on Even's “you can sit here I don’t mind.”
"You're sure?"
The boy kept looking at him, teasingly raising an eyebrow.
“Okay, thanks um…”
"Isak."
Even smiled, finally being able to put a name on the pretty face, before he answered, he hoped quickly enough so that Isak wouldn't make fun of him again for just staring at him, "I'm Even."
If the crooked smile and the small huffed laugh Isak gave him were anything to go by, he had probably failed.
“So, you’re the new third year, right?” Isak asked bluntly.
Of course he knew who Even was, the fucking rumours must have gotten to him like their did all round the school. How naive was Even to think that he could meet this cute boy and get to know him like any normal people do?
“Yeah, I guess that’s me…” he answered looking down at his hands, feeling his body stiffen.
After a few seconds of silence, Even looked back up and saw Isak observing him intently.
"I'm sorry people talk shit behind your back." he simply said.
"Um… thanks, I guess. So you heard…"
"I don't care what people say." Isak shrugged, "I don't listen to gossip."
"Oh, okay... Good." Even smiled, feeling a wave of relief run through him.
“So,” he continued “what are you doing here studying instead of going back home for the weekend like everybody else ?”
Isak furrowed his brows and looked away, Even saw him open and close his mouth before he just shrugged again and answered firmly “I just didn’t feel like it.”
Even felt Isak’s answer was definitive and that he shouldn’t try to ask more, so he just nodded and answered, “Yeah, me neither…”
“I was actually gonna do some sketching outside” he continued gesturing at his drawing supplies “but it began raining so…”
“I know” Isak said turning his head back to face him.
“Huh?”
“Saw you from the window.”
“Oh really?” Even smirked at the mere thought of Isak looking at him from afar.
“Dude, you’re like two meters tall and there’s almost nobody else here right now… You’d be hard to miss.”
Still, you noticed me.
Even cleared his throat, “So, what are you studying?” he asked nonchalantly, or so he hoped.
Isak lifted the book opened in front of him to let Even peek at the cover.
“Biology ? Oof…” Even grimaced.
“What? Not all of us can be tortured artists walking around in the rain, hoping to catch a pneumonia to write some tragic poems about it. Some of us need to have serious jobs.”
Even burst out laughing, the sound echoing all around the empty library, “Yeah that’s right. You saw right through me, nerd.”
Isak rolled his eyes but Even could see the hint of a smile on his lips.
*
A couple of hours later, they were still talking about nothing and everything.
They talked about their hometowns and how they knew they would never go back but both planned on moving to Oslo.
They talked about their studies and what they wanted to do when they’d leave this school. Isak wanted to go to med school, Even told him about his dream of studying film and becoming a director.
They talked about music and their shared love for old school 90’s hip-hop.
“So a N.W.A fan uh?”
“Yeah, that what you listen to when you want to feel tough you know…”
“Mmh… ever listened to Nas?”
“Nas? Um… yeah I know Nas.” Isak stuttered.
“Doesn’t sound like it” Even laughed “It’s alright, we’ll have a listen later”
Isak told Even stories about the school, famous students whose shenanigans had become legends and murder tales passed from pupils to pupils for generations.
“You know, it’s even said that there’s a ghost in my dorm. People say they hear weird sounds during the night or see stuff moving…”
“Oh Yeah? You’re gonna be okay sleeping over there all by yourself tonight?” Even teased him.
Isak scoffed and rolled his eyes again, “That’s just bullshit… I’m not scared of ghost stories, I’m not a fucking child.”
“Alright tough guy…”
Even smiled when he saw the loveliest shade of pink coloring Isak’s cheeks.
“So um… do you wanna get out of here?” Isak asked.
“Okay. I’m pretty hungry actually, do you want to see if we can grab something in the cafeteria?”
“I have a better idea” Isak said a mischievous smile on his lips, “come with me”.
Even followed him along the long corridors of the building until Isak stopped before a room. Above the door, a banner indicated Teachers’ lounge .
“You’re serious?” Even asked when Isak grabbed the doorknob.
“What? Those idiots never close the door on the weekend. Come on!”
Isak opened the door and gestured for Even to follow him. They entered a spacious room, the walls covered with elaborate wood panelling and portraits of the previous deans of the school, furnished with big leather couches and club chairs, all worn at the armrests under the grip of all the professors that succeeded each other over the years.
Isak opened the door to what seemed to be a large closet. Most of it was filled with school supplies but a few shelves were stacked with dozens of differents snacks.
“Tadaa!” Isak exclaimed.
“Well fuck, they have a all pantry on the sly…”
“Yep! What do you want?” Isak asked and smiled teasingly when he saw Even hesitate, “Don’t worry, they won’t notice, or if they do how could they find out it was us?”
Before Even could answer, they were both startled by the sound of the doorknob turning and the door slowly creaking open.
They both froze and looked at each other with wide eyes.
“Fuck!” Isak blurted out.
He grabbed Even by the arm, dragged him inside the closet and closed the door behind them.
They tried to call their rapid breathing to listen to the sounds coming from the other side of the door. They heard someone walk around the room, casually whistling.
“I think that’s the caretaker…” Isak whispered.
Even watched Isak lean on the door, listening carefully to the intruder’s coming and going. He knew he should be a little worried that whoever that person was would find them here. They both would be in a lot of trouble and Even really didn’t need that on top of everything. But right now, all he could think about was the proximity he and Isak were in. That closet was obviously not made to fit two men their sizes which mean they were standing only a few centimeters away from each other. Even reveled in the warmth radiating from Isak’s body and felt his heart bolt at the feeling of Isak’s hand squeezing his arm where he was still grabbing him.
“I think he’s gone.” Isak whispered after a few minutes.
He turned back towards Even and noticed how he was still holding him.
“Sorry” he mumbled pulling his hand away.
“It’s alright…” Even smiled softly.
Isak tilted his head up to look at him. Even could see he was blushing but Isak held Even’s gaze nonetheless, almost as if he was challenging him. The sound of their heavy breathing was filling the small closet and Even felt like he was burning up. He was so close to, if he were just to lean down, just a little bit he could finally…
“I think we should go.” Isak said softly, interrupting his reverie.
“Um, yeah… you’re right.”
They grabbed a few different snacks and walked carefully out of the teacher’s lounge.
*
They decided to head to Even’s dorm, which was the closest to the building they were in, sneaking alongs the corridors, stopping at each turn to listen for any other presence around them as if they were on some kind of secret mission.
“Well, that was a close one” Even laughed as they stepped into his shared bedroom.
Isak looked around him and nodded towards one of the walls, filled with photographs and little cartoons, “I guess that’s your side?”
“Yeah…” Even chuckled, a little nervous to see Isak take in his personal space.
Isak got closer to look at the drawings and huffed out a little laugh “They’re good, really funny.”
“Thanks…” Even smiled.
They sat on the floor to eat and share a blunt Even had hidden in the drawer of his nightstand. Even felt relaxed, his skim buzzing both under the effect of the weed and the presence of Isak in his room.
“So, you’ve been in this all boys school for quite a while, don’t you miss having girls around?” Even asked teasingly.
“I manage all right” Isak deadpanned, and avoided Even’s gaze for a moment “but my friend Magnus can’t shut up about it. This guy takes desperate to a whole new level”
They laughed but Even saw Isak seem to hesitate, his smile faltering before he asked, “Do you miss it? Your old school, your friends?”
“Well, um…”
“You don’t have to answer that if you don’t…” Isak stuttered
“No it’s alright.” Even took a long drag on the joint before he continued, “I do sometimes but it’s a bit complicated. I guess I miss my life when it was good, before everything turned to shit…”
In the corner of his eyes, he saw Isak turning to his side to face him. He cast a quick glance at him, seeing Isak looking at him intently, then he took a deep breath and continued.
“I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder a year ago… And at first I was kind of relieved because I could finally understand the mood swings and the depressions that hit me sometimes… If we could identify the cause, I was gonna get better with the right treatment you know? But very quickly I got angry at having to take meds everyday, I was tired of the doctor’s appointments and the way people started to treat me differently, my parents, my friends, people at school… I felt like everybody was trying to monitor me all the time so I stopped taking my meds because it seemed like the only thing I could do to regain some control, you know? It was so fucking stupid and of course I ended up having a major episode, worst I ever had. I did a lot of fuckep up shit, lost most of my friends and then I crashed… hard. So, when I had to redo my third year, my parents thought it would be best for me if I could start fresh, in a place where nobody knew who I was or what I did… They also thought a private boarding school with a stricter schedule and code of conduct would help me stay on track…”
“Well, that worked out pretty well” Isak said with a little crooked smile, as he took the joint from Even's hand.
“Yeah” Even scoffed.
“Is that why you don’t ever go home?” Isak asked softly.
“Mmh… I’m not really ready to face everybody again.”
There was a silence and Even waited anxiously. He had just poured everything out in front of Isak, the most harrowing and shameful part of his life… It was too much for someone he’d just met, Isak would probably politely say his goodbye and leave him alone now.
“I understand” he said instead.
“You do?” Even turned against the bed until he was also facing Isak.
“Yeah I… I haven’t seen my family in a while either.” Isak said hesitantly. “My mom, she’s not well… she has schizophrenia and it started to get really bad a couple of years ago. Every time I got home, there were just screaming and crying… my sister eventually left without telling anyone, moved to Berlin. Then one weekend I got home and my mum’s not there. My dad told me he had moved her to a treatment facility and that he was going to move out because he had met someone else. I felt so alone and powerless, unable to take care of my mum, so fucking angry at my dad… He keeps asking me to visit him in his new house with his new wife or whatever.”
“What an asshole…”
“Yeah…" Isak chuckled, "Sometimes I spend the weekend at Jonas’, that’s my best friend and roommate, but I mostly stay here, on my own.”
“I’m sorry…”
“It’s alright” Isak shrugged, “When it gets too much I like to imagine all the other parallel universes where my life’s not fucked up, where my sister stayed with us, where my mum in not sick and my dad not a prick…”
“Parallel universes ?” Even furrowed his brows.
“Yeah, you know the theory that everything that can happen is going to happen, or even is happening right now in another universe. You’ve never thought about it ?” Isak asked eagerly.
“I don’t know, it just makes me feel so small and, kind of lonely… besides, I’m not even sure I’d be interested in a different universe even if it meant my life wouldn’t be as fucked up as it is.”
“No?”
“No… because all those things eventually brought me to this moment, right here… with you.” he looked down at the ground where Isak had laid a hand and slowly slid his own until their finger were softly brushing against each other, “I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else right now.”
“Even” Isak whispered.
“Yeah?”
“Just fucking kiss me already.”
Even couldn’t help a laugh escape his mouth and he immediately leaned over until he connected their lips. At first, it wasn’t so much of a kiss as two giddy smiles pressed against each other, but soon, the feeling of the other's skin turned their glee into craving. Isak ran his hand through Even’s hair until it was resting on the back of his neck and pulled his even closer, parting his lips to ask for more and Even happily obliged, feeling his entire body tremble as his tongue slid against Isak’s.
“Fuck, I’ve wanted this for so long…” Even whispered as he rested his forehead against Isak’s.
“Me too…”
“Really, you have?” Even asked, leaning back to look at Isak who was blushing lightly at his admission.
“Yeah I… it wasn’t the first time I saw you walking in the park from the window in the library. That’s why I actually seat at this table every time.”
“Well, look who’s actually been creeping on the other” Even laughed teasingly.
Isak just rolled his eyes and shut him up with a kiss.
They hopped on Even’s bed where they curled up against each other, Isak resting his head on Even’s chest, Even nuzzling his face in Isak’s golden curls. They held each other and kissed each other until the sun began to slowly set behind the hills surrounding the school.
“Do you um… do you wanna stay here tonight?” Even asked and he hoped Isak couldn’t feel how his heart began beating faster and faster right under where he laid his head, “I mean, I wouldn’t want you to be alone over there with your dorm ghost.”
“You’re such a dork!” Isak snorted, then he tilted his head up to look at Even, “Of course I’ll stay.”
“Okay.” he whispered, a little bit breathless, before leaning down to press a tender kiss on Isak’s lips.
*
When Even woke up the next morning, he instantly melted into the sensation of Isak’s back pressed against his chest, his skin soft and warm against his own.
He smiled as memories of the night began swirling in his head, making him feel dizzy. He remembered clothes shedding until they were only in their underwear, hungry lips and daring hands exploring each other’s body, limbs tangled-up, mouths gasping for air between heated kisses.
Even buried his head in the crook of Isak’s neck and held him a little closer.
“Morning…” Isak mumbled, his neck vibrating under Even’s lips.
“Mmmh… morning.” he whispered back.
Isak turned his head back, his eyes still closed, blindly searching for Even’s lips. Even cupped Isak’s face with his hand and gently guided him to his mouth, smiling ever so slightly when Isak sighed contentedly into their kiss.
“Can we just stay here all day?” Isak asked in a raspy voice that made Even’s breath hitch for a second.
Fuck, he’d wake up to that sound every single morning of his life if he could.
“Can we stay here forever?” he asked in turn.
“Fuck, you’re so sappy!” Isak chuckled, turning around in Even’s arms until he was fully facing him.
“You love it.” Even teased him.
“Mmmh…”
Isak didn’t even try to find a comeback, his mouth to busy leaving a trail of kisses along Even’s jaw, his long neck, his collarbones…
*
They did spend the entire day like that, lying in bed cuddled up against each other, smoking, eating the rest of the snacks they stole the day before in the teachers’ lounge, talking, listening to music, never not touching the other.
Hours passed in a blissful haze, until the daylight began to dim outside the window.
“Everybody’s gonna be coming back soon.” Isak murmured against Even’s skin.
“You’re right” Even sighed, “I guess we should…”
“Yeah…”
They held onto each other a little tighter for another minute or two, not willing to let go just yet.
Then, they got out of bed reluctantly and put their clothes back on, casting glances at each other and blushing as if they were just discovering the other’s body.
They stood still in the middle of the room for a moment, then wrapped their arms around each other, already missing the touch of their skin but still giving in completely to the other’s embrace.
“So… what happens now?” Even asked cautiously.
“I don’t know… I don’t think I’m ready, I don’t know if I can…” Isak stammered burying his face in Even’s hoodie.
“Shh… it’s okay” Even rocked him in his arms slowly, his lips pressed against Isak’s temple.
“It’s not about you, you know that right? I’m just, not out yet… not even to my best friend. I want to talk to him, I just don’t know how…”
“Hey don’t worry, we don’t have to rush this… You can take all the time you need okay?”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah, I’m not going anywhere.”
“Me neither.” Isak wrapped his arms around Even’s neck and help on to him as if his life depended on it, softening his grip only to capture his lips in a burning kiss.
They leaned back and rested their foreheads against each other, lips swollen, panting, hair disheveled… happy.
“I should go…” Isak whined.
“I’ll walk you out” Even smirked, taking his hand to take the few steps to the door of his bedroom with him, Isak rolling his eyes at the ridiculous gesture.
Even opened the door and whispered as Isak stepped out in the corridor where they could begin to hear the distant voices of student returning to the dorm, “So um… I’ll see you next weekend then?”
Isak looked around to check that they were still alone and got on his tiptoes to leave a quick, soft kiss on Even’s lips. Then he started walking away, but before he would disappear behind the corner, Isak turned around and gave Even a little wink as he whispered back,
“It’s a date.”