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Younger and Dumber (DISCONTINUED)

Summary:

What if Dazai got himself and his younger self swapped around. Where Dazai gets hit with some ability, and he is promptly taken to the past while his younger self is taken to the future.

(NO LONGER UPDATING)

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Chapter 1: One

Chapter Text

It was all a normal day, Dazai didn’t think he’d go back in time. Though, he also thought he wouldn’t be affected by the said ability. The Armed Detective agency had sent out a group of Kunikida, Dazai, and Atsushi to go track down said gifted person, though they did have a plan. Mostly made by the golden-haired man himself, he didn’t know Dazai could be affected by it. Which meant, when they had sent Dazai in, they didn’t expect to see a flash of light. When the colors had faded, they were left with something out of the ordinary, and the enemy was long gone.

That’s how Kunikida and Atsushi came to look out from behind a bunch of rubble, that they had taken to hiding behind, waiting for Dazai to come back, with the criminal in cuffs. However, with the expected flash of light, and yelp. It was clear the plan had failed. The pair of golden eyes looked at the site. They had Dazai, but this for sure wasn’t their Dazai. He looked younger, his hair a little messier, his face looked very serious, not the usual smile baring face the silver and golden-haired males had come accustomed to. Maybe it was the change of clothes as well. The tan jacket was long gone and had been replaced with a black trench coat hanging off of his shoulders, his right eye was covered with bandages to boot. The teenage Dazai looked bewildered at most, still in a daze of what was happening. Kunikida had been the first to speak out.

“What the- Dazai?!”

The weretiger himself was looking over his younger mentor, they hadn’t been told what the enemy’s ability was, even Ranpo couldn’t figure it out. Which had sent the world’s greatest to sulk in his shame for a second. The tawny-haired teen seemed to jump a tiny bit at his name, before picking himself off the ground.

“...Where am I?”

The voice was of course, almost near the same, as the one, they knew dearly from the agency. It almost shocked both of the detectives. Though it wasn’t hidden from most of the members of the agency anymore, they knew he used to be a part of the mafia. It wasn’t anything new, but seeing Dazai this young, and yet it seemed that the mafia had already taken its hold of the young teen.

“We should tell the president, Kunikida-san…” The young adult mumbled to the other detective, who was still bewildered by the sight. His partner had been either A, turned back into a young version of himself, and or he had been sent back into the past, while his younger counterpart had been sent to the future. This was bad, real bad.

“Dazai, you’re in Yokohama. How old are you?”

One eye looks back at the amber pair that had been staring at him, analyzing him, waiting for an answer. Though the inner thoughts of the young mafioso seemed to block him from talking. Atsushi couldn’t help but feel a tad bit sad for his mentor. He looked lost as if he was just in the middle of something important. The hazel hair seemed to be a bit sweaty, and like he had just been in a fight. What was he doing before he had come to this time? Must have been big, if it left him like that. Gulping softly, the younger teen responded soon after he had taken a couple of breaths.

“ ‘m fifteen, who are you people?”

Like a defensive dog, this younger Dazai seemed ready to attack and run. The ability user across from the boy seemed ready to attack as well, they couldn’t have him running away, not when they didn’t know what he was able to do. The demand from the mopped haired boy was low, and a glare seemed to come from that single eye. The weretiger seemed almost scared of this younger version of his mentor. Kunikida glanced back at Atsushi, but saying a few simple words. “Call the president.” The seriousness that leaked from the older man’s voice was thick, it could almost be cut by a knife.

“I’m Kunikida Doppo, over there is Atsushi Nakajima.”

Kunikida spoke with strictness, that of a parent scolding a child in a way. The single piercing eye looked over at the young adult, who had followed the orders of the other. Brown eyes went back to the long-haired man, who was now moving towards him. The demon prodigy didn’t move. This lets the blond suited man continue on to what he was saying. “You are in the future, Dazai. Though I don’t know how it happened, all I know is that you must stay with me and Atsushi.” If this kid got out into the world, what would happen if the mafia’s boss found him? It would be one of the most dangerous executives back with Mori. It spelled trouble for the Armed Detective Agency if he did.

The whole future part got to the young mafia member, eye-widening, and his mouth slightly a gap. “What.” That is the only word he could say. Thinking over his options, the boy had no choice, he had to go with them, he would be stuck in the future, with his older self doing whatever it was in the past. Getting back to whatever it was he was doing before seemed to be his key goal. “Fine. the sooner you get me back, the sooner I don’t have to listen to you.” He said roughly. Rowdy, just like his future self.

Relaxing slightly, the glass wearing man moved to try and bring the younger closer to him, not wanting to have him out of his sight. It seemed the younger man let him, even if he looked like he was about to bite off his arm. Though the older Dazai and Kunikida were friends and this younger version of his friend seemed very fiery, and venom-filled. The taller pulled the shorter male into his side, making sure to keep a hold onto him. He didn’t trust this tricker one bit, not until he got his partner back. Though them both being the same person was weird, he didn’t mind making sure he stayed in place. Kunikida looked up to the younger detective across the way. “What did the president say, brat?”

“The boss said, bring him in, and uh, call some named Chuuya Nakahara? Isn’t he that one Mafia executive Kunikida-san?”

Hazel hair seemed to bounce slightly, with the younger Dazai peeking up at the name of his partner. Seeming to cheer up more, Kunikida sighed softly, pinching the bridge of his nose. Before nodding to the young adult.

“We’ll have to call him when we get to the agency. Let’s just get him there first.”

Pulling the trenchcoat-wearing teenager along the streets, with Atsushi following behind like a lost puppy, or more so a lost cat. Dazai seemed to be happy with the name of his old partner. “Can we hurry it up to this agency place? I want to see the slug sooner than later.” Complaining, just like the older Dazai. So he was like him, but different. The ponytail wearing man, who had been all but dragging him glared deeply at his younger partner. If he weren’t a child, he would have for sure thrown him across the street. Using the collar of the coat the boy was wearing and dragged him harder. The skinny teen yelped and followed him. “Alright, Alright, Kunikida is so mean!” That voice was all but surprising coming from the Mafioso.

The walk back to the agency was filled with the young Dazai complaining, and Kunikida’s glares at the complaints. Though Atsushi felt like a third wheel to it all, watching them interact, just like it was a normal day. The agency was in sight, and with a car parked out in front of the building, which wasn’t new. They did have a cafe below them, but that car wasn’t anything that was normally there. The three men didn’t recognize it either. The driver was nowhere in sight, but that wasn’t the problem right now, they needed to get this young teen to the agency’s floor. At least they hadn’t fought yet, which meant they got there quicker, but the banter from the mafioso didn’t make it pleasant.

With the group of a young Dazai, a very angry Kunikida, and a worried Atsushi. Though the craziness didn’t seem to stop. When the three made it up the stairs, there they saw the one person that could take out the whole agency. Chuuya Nakahara. Though Kunikida wasn’t the only one to have his mouth agape, Dazai seemed just surprised. When the hat-wearing ginger looked over at the door, he looked already done with this. Of course, the idiot had gotten himself into some type of situation. With a small sigh, the executive pushed himself up from the uncomfortable couch of the agency. Fixing that tacky hat of his, and looking at Kunikida with a raised eyebrow. Prompting the detective to speak finally.

“This bastard got hit with an ability that sent his future self to the past, and his past self to the future. Confusing, yes. Don’t think too much about it.”

Kunikida pulled the teen off of him, and left the ginger to deal with this mess. He could only assume he had been told something by the president. That’s why he was there, to take Dazai, and he would finally have a peaceful day after two years. Dazai still had his mouth a gap at this point. Looking over his old partner, who had since the last time he had seen him grown in many ways. Taller, longer hair, and seemed even cockier than before he had left him back in the past.

“Dazai…”

The way Chuuya said his name almost scared him, but it didn’t stop him from smiling. “Seems like the slug grew a couple of inches.” Through, Dazai had to look up at him, he must have grown a bit, what kind of crazy world was he in? "Mackerel..." The other seemed to growl, though he hadn’t heard that nickname before, must be new, or new for himself at least.

“Let’s go. We don’t have all day, and I can’t have Mori finding you.”

“Fine, Slug.” Sticking his tongue out childishly, feeling the redhead grab his arm before he pulled him towards the door. “I’ll make that ability user fixes this, I don’t know how long I can deal with you being here.” He spoke with such hate, but fondness at the same time. Dragging the younger back towards the hallway, and down the stairs. Waving bye to Atsushi, and the rest of the detectives in the office, who were either shocked or didn’t pay attention. Dazai let the other drag him, he wasn’t that heavy, and it seemed the other had gotten stronger from his fifteen-year counterpart.

“Just like a dog should, you’re doing as I said.”

Chuuya could almost hear it in his voice, the smirk that crossed the other’s face as he said the words. Sure he was driving them back to his apartment for a few reasons. One is that the other was fifteen, and the second is that Dazai didn’t know where his new place was anymore. The hat-wearing mafioso was already having a headache. The boy was dragged down the stairs, with small thuds, as his long legs were hitting against the wooden stairs. “Shut it, Mackerel! Have you always been this much of an ass, you’re lucky I’m even doing this.”

“What do you mean?” Dazai asked as they made it to the car in front, so that was Chuuya’s car, flashy as always.

“You don’t know this, but you left the port mafia a while ago, four years ago if I’m right. You left it all behind, and if Mori finds out about this, and you were in the care of those detective idiots.” Making their way to the redhead’s car, Dazai nodded along.“You’d bring them a whole lot of trouble, so they called me. I can weasel my way out of work until we fix this. So we don’t have a young Dazai running around, and making Mori go crazy about it.” That’s why they called Chuuya to take care of him. Eye widening slightly, before shaking his head.

“Well then slug. Let’s go then.”

Dazai all but huffed, but he didn’t hide that he was a little mad. In the back of his mind, he was thinking about his own Chuuya, the fifteen-year-old one. He could only hope older Dazai got to him before he could get hurt.