Work Text:
“I want to be with you,
It is as simple,
And as complicated as that.”
— Charles Bukowski
[.....]
Maya begins dating sometime in the middle of their first semester of tenth grade. Boys seem to suddenly slink from the shadows, clamoring and tripping over themselves (and in some cases each other) just to talk to her. Their gazes hopeful, and their smiles just the slightest bit cocky.
Lucas blamed puberty for turning them all into stuttering idiots. For making them all hormone driven buffoons.
But he reasoned, albeit none too happily, that it wasn't completely their fault, they couldn't have known, couldn't have foreseen the transformation Maya would have undergone over the summer. It boggled his mind, and made him a little annoyed with her. As if it wasn't already hard enough for him to look away from her before. As if being the Blonde Beauty wasn't enough. As if Lucas being halfway infatuated with her wasn't cutting it anymore.
Maya had to go and change. She had to go and get curves that made a white-hot heat curl in his chest.
Lucas wasn't stupid he knew he was feeling things he shouldn't be. But he also felt fear. A quiet kind of panic in the way his heart beat sort of just stopped when she returned their looks.
When she actually smiled back at them.
The most infuriating of the buffoons was the rebel, Brandon Pierce. Lucas didn't exactly hate him, it was more like he tried his best to tolerate him. To like him.
He really did.
But, when Brandon leaned in close to Maya, whispering something in her ear, his crooked grin secretive and her smile bright as she murmured something back, all his trying and tolerating flew out of the window.
When Brandon kissed her cheek.
It left a swirling mess inside Lucas's heart. It left a confusion he didn't know how to voice. A confusion he didn't think he had a right to have.
[......]
They are sitting in their usual spot at Topanga’s. Riley is sitting next to Farkle as they do their homework. While Zay and Smackle work on a project Mr. Matthews had assigned the class earlier in the week.
Lucas reclined in his seat, sighing with relief as his sore body relaxed comfortably into the soft cushions.
“Rough practice?”
Lucas’ head whips up at the sound of Maya’s voice. His eyes tracing the faint smirk that curves her lips. Noticing the way she leaned forward against the couch, but didn't come any closer. Keeping a respectable amount of space between them. A friendly distance of sorts. Almost as if she didn't want anyone to get the wrong idea. As if she didn't want anyone to assume they were something they weren't. Something they wouldn't ever be.
Lucas ignores this.
“Nothing I can't handle.” He quips, with a small grin. Hoping that maybe just maybe she'll counter his cocky words. That maybe just maybe she'd tease him like she used too.
Lucas sighed when she didn't immediately give a sarcastic quip.
It was an odd thing. When he first became friends with Maya, all he had wanted was for her to stop mocking him. To refrain from calling him nicknames that mocked his Texan roots. To stop making fun of the things that made him who he was.
Until a dark night under the stars changed all that. When he found out that she only made fun of him because she liked him. That she only “teased” Lucas because she actually liked those things about him.
The irony of it was now that the triangle was over, and the dust had finally settled. He wished she hadn't stopped. That she wouldn't have ever stopped.
And suddenly, almost as if she could sense his disappointment, Maya's brow arched dubiously, her voice low and soft. Almost playful. “Oh, yeah?”
Something in his chest flickered with excitement at the soft challenge in her twinkling blue orbs. “Yeah.”
“You sure about that?”
He grinned, though he was sure it looked more like a grimace. “Without a doubt.”
She flicked his arm roughly, and a slight flare of pain trailed down to his forearm.
“Ouchie!” Lucas whined, as he rubbed the offended appendage, groaning with narrowed eyes locked in her direction. “Maya!”
Maya shrugged all too innocently. “I thought you could handle it.”
She rounded the couch, dropping into the space next to him. Silently digging through her bag. He watched her, confused. This was the closest she had gotten in a long time. Even after his break up with Riley, things hadn't returned to the way they used to be between them. Lucas had expected, hoped with all of his heart even, that his fragile but easy friendship with Maya would return. That their bond would grow stronger, better.
But it hadn't. If anything it had gotten worse. Maya barely met his eyes anymore. And when she did, she was always the first to look away.
Which wasn't something that sat well with him. She was Maya Penelope Hart-Hunter, the epitome of intimidation in a small curvy body. She did not cower or hide. Not from anyone. No, that's what others who couldn't handle her had done. She was like the sun in that way. You knew it was dangerous but still you couldn't help but glance. She was so pretty, so unflinchingly bright and warm in her passion it almost hurt to look at.
“Here.” A small hand, palm extended was thrown in front of his face.
Lucas eyed the small white pill in her hand, cautiously, like it was a viper waiting to snap out and bite him. Quietly considering the fact that it was Maya, and though sometimes she liked to play pranks that got out of hand, she wouldn't intentionally hurt him. Or anyone really.
Maya chuckled softly. The sound made his heart flinch. “It’s not poison, Huckleberry. I promise. It’s just Tylenol.”
He stared at her, unable to look away. Unable to move. How long had it been since he made her laugh? Since she laughed at his expense so tenderly? Since she called him Huckleberry?”
After a couple moments, when he still had not moved an inch, Maya rolled her eyes and took his hand, placing the pill there. Her ocean blue eyes glittering briefly as she rubbed a tender thumb over his scraped and bruised knuckles, which he had gotten during baseball practice from constantly throwing himself to the floor and sliding to the last base. Pulling away, she handed him a glass of water.
“Take it, Babe. It'll help you feel better.” Maya uttered softly, as she got up, grabbed her coat, and made her way toward the exit.
Lucas' heart seized tightly in his chest, but he finally managed to choke out a few words, “Wait! Where are you going?”
Maya halted, as she threw him a lazy grin over her shoulder, crooning excitedly, “I gotta hot date, and I have to get there before I'm late.” And with that she pushed through the door, whistling a happy tune.
A soft ache tugged stubbornly at his heart. Lucas ignored it. Popping the pill in his mouth, and chugging the water until it was all gone. He wished that the pill could also heal the persistent ache in his chest.
[.......]
Brandon Pierce comes out as gay a few weeks after the beginning of second semester in their sophomore year. The news really shouldn't relieve him so much. Shouldn't make him grin so wide.
Zay is leaning against the locker besides Lucas’s, waiting for his reaction to the latest gossip. A thoughtful frown slipping onto Zay’s face at his almost euphoric expression.
“That's great. Good for him.” Lucas says, trying and failing to wipe the pleased grin off his face. His feet tapping nervously at the curious look his best friend gives him.
“You seem way too happy for someone you don't even pretend to like.”
His throat goes dry, but still he tries no matter how weak his attempt truly is. “I can't be happy that someone else is being true to themselves?”
Zay raised a brow, amusement tilting his lips into a teasing smile. “Umm. Okay, Riley.” He pulled out his phone, and began typing, “I'll just let the others know it's time for another intervention. This isn't you, Lucas.”
He flipped him off, “Fuck you.”
Zay chuckled, “Not for all the money in the world, Lukey Boy.”
Maya was slipping into her leather jacket as she walked by, eyeing them with a sly smirk. Before giving Zay an approving nod, “Lukey Boy. I like it.”
Zay gave her a toothy grin, shooting Lucas a smug look.“Thanks, Hunter. I think I'm going to keep it around.”
“Yeah. Thanks, Hunter.” Lucas grumbled, glaring down at the small girl who remained unfazed, seeing as she didn't even pause in her stride, combat boots thudding down the hallway with a level of confidence and determination that had students scrambling to get out of her way.
“See ya, boys.”
Lucas wasn't really angry at Maya. He hadn't been able to fault her for anything in a long time. And any irritation he might've felt always disappeared instantly whenever she so much as sent a dimpled smile in his direction.
Or God forbid The Lip Bite that nearly sent him to his knees.
Zay snapped his fingers in front of Lucas’s face, drawing him from his not-so-innocently-platonic thoughts about their friend.
Lucas ignored the way Zay was watching him with a knowing smile. Like he knew exactly what Lucas had been thinking about just moments before he interrupted him. Almost as if he could see inside Lucas’s chest, straight through to his heart and see that Maya was all over it.
Needless to say, he didn't like that thought. “What?” He snapped, anxiously. Unable to handle the intense suspicion lingering in Zay's gaze.
His friend shook his head, and chuckled teasingly. “Nothing, Lukey Boy. Not a thing.”
[....]
Lucas is sixteen, and Maya is only a few months behind. When Lucas attempts to commit his first murder. Or more like fails to commit his first murder. But that wasn’t the point. The point was; Tyler Walsh needed to be taught some manners. And Lucas was all too happy to oblige.
I'm gonna kill him. I'm going to wipe that stupid smug sneer right off his face. I'm going to make him regret ever disrespecting a girl like that. Especially my-
He was so angry, so lost in his own thoughts, that he didn't have enough time to slow down and stop himself from colliding with another familiar form.
Thankfully, he reached out in time, to grasp the small feminine body. His hands caught her waist to steady her, so that she wouldn't get knocked to the floor. Unconsciously running a comforting thumb along her side in apology.
A soft gasp escaped the girl, but he didn't notice. Too focused on other things. Once Lucas was sure the girl's balance had returned, he spun away from her, and continued on through the halls. Searching for the shaggy haired boy.
The girl chased after him, “Woah! Where's the fire, Cowboy?”
Lucas didn't say anything. Not until he came upon the boys basketball team, leaning against a set of lockers not too far off from Mr. Matthews history class. They were rowdy. Joking, and talking over each other just to get a word in.
“Griffith, where's your captain?”
The blonde haired boy turned around, blinked up at him, and then paled. Good, so Lucas did look as mad as he felt. Then, surely no one would dare to stand between him and Tyler. Not when he was like this.
He could feel the angry thrum of his heartbeat in his ears. The reflexive clenching of his fists as he prepared for a fight he surely intended to win. He was too full of rage, not to.
“Where is he?”
The boy blanched, but didn't answer. Lucas didn't even realize he had taken a step forward until he was in the short but skilled basketball player’s face. “I asked you a question, Griffith!”
He flinched, before shaking his head, his long curly hair falling into his eyes. Still he remained silent. Lucas was just about to grab a hold of his shoulders and shake him, but a hand on his shoulder stopped him. The small hands grabbed fistfuls of his flannel and turned him around to face them.
His eyes met Maya's calm blue gaze. “What's this about, Lucas? Why do you have it out for Tyler?”
Shame flared up inside his gut. Lucas couldn't look at her. Tyler Walsh was supposed to be his friend. He had trusted him. So once Tyler asked Maya out, and she had asked Lucas if he thought it was a good idea to date the basketball captain, especially since Tyler was within their ever expanding circle of friends. Lucas had thought Tyler was cool, his laid back and relaxed approach to life had seemed unharmful, so of course he told her to go for it. Lucas wanted Maya to be happy.
No matter how much it hurt that it wasn't with him.
So even though he was originally none to pleased with the idea, Lucas had assured her that Tyler was a good guy, that his friend wouldn't hold it against her if things didn't work out between them.
He told her that Tyler was a nice guy, and Maya had trusted his judgement. Then once their relationship ran its course, like most of Maya's brief flings, the basketball captain had gone and spread hurtful rumours about one of his best friends.
About her.
If it had been anyone else outside of the group, perhaps things would be different. Maybe he wouldn't have taken it so personal. But this wasn't the case. Because it was about Maya. The girl who held his heart. The girl who had always held his heart. And that was as personal as it got for him.
“May-”
“How funny,” A low voice interrupted, teasingly. Fearlessly. “I was actually about to ask him the same thing.”
Lucas turned, clenching his jaw at the way Tyler's eyes roamed the dips and curves of Maya's body. She stiffened slightly, but she held the other boy's eye with a steely look of her own.
“Maya Papaya.” Tyler greeted Maya, with dark glittering eyes. His grin was cocky and crooked.
“Don't even look at her.” Lucas gritted out between his clenched teeth, as he attempted to nudge Maya behind him. But the small girl was having none of it, instead sending him a dark look over her shoulder.
I can take care of myself. Her expression seemed to say.
“Tyler.” Maya responded, brow quirking with what seemed a detached sort of amusement. But, Lucas knew it was forced. He stiffened with confusion, as Maya stepped back, pressing her shoulder into his chest, not even bothering looking at him, as she assessed her ex with an unimpressed look.
What're you up to, Shortstack?
Maya reached back, still not looking at him as she threaded her fingers through his own. The softness of her palm kissing his. Almost as if to say; Calm down. I'm here. Trust me.
“Why’s my Cowboy out for your blood?”
Tyler shrugged with an innocence so feigned, bullshit practically permeated the air. “I wouldn't know. Do you?”
Maya grinned, but it was wrong. All tightly pressed white teeth, and a dark bitter humor curling at the corners of her mouth. Her voice is soft, deep, and ultimately deadly. “Not a clue. If you ask me you're not worth the skin off his knuckles.”
Distantly, Lucas realized they had attracted quite a bit of attention from the students that remained in the halls. If the small circle of people slowly forming around them wasn't a major indicator.
The basketball captain flushed an angry red, jaw locked tight. “You don't mean that. At least you didn't seem to when you were beneat-”
Lucas' vision goes dark. He feels his blood pound in his ears, feels an angry adrenaline course through his veins. What he doesn't feel is the crunch of Tyler Walsh’s nose as his fist crashes into the other boy’s face.
[......]
He gets suspended from school for a whole week. And grounded for only a month, which honestly was a surprise, but after he had told his parents the reason behind the fight, they seemed to understand. Not giving him too hard a time. Only telling him that violence wasn't always the solution.
But when his mother briefly turned away, his father had winked at him and threw him a thumbs up. Thankfully, he wasn’t expelled or his parents' reaction and his punishment would have been a lot worse.
During the week of his temporary exile, Maya visits him. Every day after school, never failing to light up his room as she climbs through his window with a soft smirk he wouldn't mind seeing for the rest of his life. In fact, he kind of loved the idea far too much.
And that was when the realization finally-truly sank into him; He was in love with her.
[......]
“He lied.” Maya tells him one day after school as they lay on the floor of his room. The visits have become permanent, a thing they don't know how not to do anymore, an important part of their daily routine. Once in a while, they switch it up with him crawling through her window, but Shawn usually chased him back out, so they didn't alternate too much.
Lucas stares at his ceiling in dumbfounded silence. “What?”
He feels the hot burn of Maya’s eyes on him as she elaborates on her earlier words. “Tyler. He lied.”
“Maya, it's okay. You don't have to explain yourself to me.”
“You're right, I don't. But, I want you to know that the rumours-none of them were true. I didn't do that with him.”
Maya sits up and turns toward him, running a shaky hand through her hair as she takes a deep breath, taking a moment to gather all her strength. “I haven't done that with anyone. Ever.”
A soft smile stole across his lips. “Yeah?”
Maya rolled her eyes at his expression, but returned his smile with the same tender intensity. “Yeah.”
“Good.”
“Why Good?”
Lucas finally returns her look, and instantly regrets it as he gets drawn in and drowned by the deep blue sea in her eyes.
His heart racing, and his hands trembling nervously, as he felt compelled to answer honestly. “Cause you deserve the world, Maya. And no fucking horny teenage buffoon is ever going to give you that.”
Maya hummed, her smile all too pleased. “Hmmm. I don't know about that. There might still be hope for some of you, afterall.”
[.....]
They are seventeen, and Maya is laughing softly with Zay, watching Farkle and Smackle debate heatedly over some essay exam questions they had in physics class earlier in the afternoon.
Farkle seems ready to faint as his mouth moves a mile a minute trying to prove his point. While Smackle looks downright vicious, her mouth a stiff straight line, as she listens intently.
Maya attempts to step in, and stop them. “Calm down you two, no need to start something messy. No matter how entertaining the bloodshed would be.” The wide grin resting on her face doesn't help her case at all.
“I don't know, Maya. I'm getting more of a War of the Nerds kind-of-vibe.” Zay quips, chuckling softly. Until, that is both Farkle and Smackle send him a dark look and he chokes. His eyes widening comically, as he flicked a pleading gaze toward Maya.
Help me. His eyes seemed to beg.
Maya patted his shoulder, sympathetically. “You're going to have such a pretty casket.”
Zay gulped, “Come on. Help me out, Hunter.”
Maya bit her lip thoughtfully, and Lucas couldn’t help but follow the movement. As she seemed to genuinely consider Zay's plea for a long moment.
Finally, she shook her head. “Nah. I'm good.”
Zay narrowed his eyes at her, before taking his chance and fleeing? Smackle, and Farkle following him out the door, not too far behind him.
Lucas, having watched the whole thing from the line in Topanga's, laughed fondly as Maya sighed in what seemed relief as she settled deeper into the couch cushions and drew Lucas' jacket over her body with a small yawn.
“You obviously love her so why haven't you done anything about it?”
Lucas freezes under Riley's disappointed frown. Blinking slowly, as he tries not to look too taken aback. But, really, when the fuck did Riley stop being so innocently oblivious?
She watches him flounder for a response, warm doe brown eyes gleaming with laughter. “She feels the exact same way about you if it helps any.”
Wow. He thought distantly. So it has come to this.
His ex-girlfriend/friend, Riley Matthews was silently telling him to get his ass into gear. The universe had a fucking delightful sense of humor.
Riley raised an eyebrow. “Why do you think she hasn't dated anyone since Tyler Walsh?”
“Because she finally realized most highschool boys are assholes?”
Riley sighed, with an annoyed shake of her head. As they move up in the line. “She even ended that unofficial someday with my Uncle Josh. And it's because she's waiting on you.”
“You can't know that.”
Riley laughed, incredulity causing her brows to jump. “I can. And I do. She's my best friend. I know her better than anyone in the world. So, believe me when I tell you, she is as hopeless for you as you are for her.”
Lucas paused in his steps, as Riley stepped away from him and up to the counter, ordering them pastries and hot chocolate. He casted a glance over his shoulder, trying to catch a peek of Maya without being too noticeable.
But to his delight, she is already looking at him, a quiet smile resting on her lips as she gazed at him with a sleepy pout.
She didn't even attempt to look away, as she watched him without shame. Her blue eyes held a tender heat, as they slowly trailed along his face, briefly becoming fixated on his mouth, only to dip down to his neck and shoulders. He gasped softly, heart skipping at the pure unadulterated want that surged up in his chest. God, he wanted her so badly, his whole body ached with it.
It didn't really even have to do with anything physical. At least not entirely, he just wanted to be able to hold her. To have her nap against his chest, so that he could press kisses into her soft blonde hair. He wanted to hold her small hands, to take her out on dates, to steal her loud, bright, laughter and return it in the form of quiet gasps. He just wanted her to be his. And for him to be hers. But only if she wanted that too.
[.....]
It's a few days after Lucas's talk with Riley, when Maya climbs through his window. And usually she doesn't hesitate to throw herself at his bed, but this time—this time she does. She stops moving once she's inside, and she just gazes at him for a few moments, her eyes intense in a way that sends warmth flooding to his neck and ears.
Her gaze remained until he finished the last few sentences of his English assignment, and looked up, meeting her ocean eyes, and swallowing back the urge to hold out his arms and beckon her closer.
Lucas ignored it, and instead moved to sit on the floor, his back braced against the edge of his bed. Immediately she takes the spot beside him, mirroring his position so that the curves of her body pressed into the lines of his.
Awareness caused his heart to slam against his ribcage. And then—
And then, Maya spoke. “I’m so fucking tired.”
Lucas would've reeled back at the force of her tone, if it weren't for how quiet, how defeated they came out. Like she was finally conceding to something far greater than herself.
“Maya, what—”
“I'm tired of pretending. I'm tired of fighting the inevitable. I'm just...just so tired of pretending I don't want—"
Lucas meets her gaze then, and sucks in a harsh breath. There is something unusually heavy, and undoubtedly serious swirling in Maya's bright eyes.
"—you.” she finished, without an ounce of doubt, without a flicker of hesitation in her expression. And Lucas's heart rammed against its confines, as if in an attempt to burst from his chest and into her small hands. He doesn't hear her next few words, his mind replaying her earlier words on a constant loop.
I'm just so tired of pretending I don't want you. I'm just so tired of pretending I don't want you. I'm just so tired of pretending I don't want you. I'm just so tired of pretending I don't want—
"Lucas." Maya murmured, with an eye roll, snapping him from his trance, and re-focusing his attention elsewhere. Like on the way her mouth caresses the letters of his name, as it falls from her lips, soft and tender and gentle and amused and frustrated and definitely more-than-a-little-annoyed, makes him fall in love with her even more.
"HUCKLEBERRY, if you don't start talking to me, I swear I'm gonna find another smoothie…"
His chest throbs. And he is made aware again of how much he wants. He wants this small contradiction of a girl, with her overwhelming presence, and soft dimpled smile, with her cutting wit, and unguarded vulnerability. He wants every little thing.
And then, Maya got up, walking toward his windowsill without another word. And Lucas panics.
"Maya!" He jumps up, following a few steps behind her. "I've wanted you for a long time, too. I don't think there's ever really been a time where I haven't wanted you, at least a little bit."
She stopped, and the sun's gentle rays glinted in the soft waves of her blonde hair, warmed the creamy paleness of her skin to a rosy flush. And Lucas lost his breath. She looked like an angel. Which to be honest he found quite terrifying, considering how well it hid her mischievous nature. And imperfect flaws. But he absolutely adored that, he loved that she kept him on his toes, that even though he never quite knew what to expect from her, he had always seemed to instinctively know how to respond. He knew when to provide support, when to provide comfort, and most importantly he knew when to step back, and let her be the strong young woman she was.
Lucas knew all of her. And loved her more because of it.
“I think I'm always going to want you, Maya.”
She slowly turned, a small dimpled smile teasing at her mouth. “You think?’
Lucas chuckled, as he closed the distance between them, and pulled her into his arms. “I mean I’m pretty sure.”
She wound her arms around his shoulders. “Oh, har har.” she tugged gently at his hair, as she leaned up on her tiptoes and pulled him the rest of the way down to meet her lips, but before their lips met she mumbled a quiet, “You better, or else this would be pretty awkward.”
He laughed, only to gasp as she stole it.