Work Text:
Ibara yawned, stretching as he did so. The report that he had been working on for the past couple of hours was finally finished. He glanced at the time on his computer screen… 12AM. Yikes. Usually, his time in the evening was spent on either practicing or doing work around Eden, but unfortunately the higher ups had given him an urgent task that he couldn’t decline.
He remembered a small conversation he had with Anzu when they bumped into each other in the cafeteria queue, and she warned him (with quite some concern on her expression) not to overwork himself. While he really wanted to start on a small task that he got assigned today, Ibara wasn’t keen on losing track of time again. He still needed to get up early tomorrow for his usual exercise session before he went to work. Ibara saved everything, shut down his computer and tablet (it took some willpower to stop himself from resuming work on his tablet) and went to check his phone. Usually, he didn’t get calls or texts during the evening, but he saw a couple of missed calls and a text from…
Nagisa Ran.
That sent him into an instant panic. What if something happened to Nagisa and Ibara had just ignored his calls for help? Ibara couldn’t believe that he somehow didn’t notice his phone buzzing while he worked (he kept it on silent outside of business hours). He checked the text, and to his relief, it seemed that nothing serious had happened.
N: I am free after 9PM. Can I see you? I will be waiting at a bench in the garden area.
Panic kicked in again when he realised that Nagisa could have been sitting out there in the cold for the past three hours. Ibara sighed, wondering if his coat would be too small for Nagisa, and he packed up his things and rushed out of the CosPro offices as fast as he could. Since it was late into the night, Ibara had to take the stairs in between floors, and he wished that his body could move faster.
Nagisa was at the bench like he said he was, reading a book under a nearby light. He didn’t acknowledge Ibara’s presence until he sat down beside him.
“... It’s the new book that you gave me.”
“Do you like it?”
“Yes. It’s very interesting.”
“Ahaha! I knew that Your Excellency would enjoy it as soon as I saw it in the shop.”
Nagisa closed the book. Ibara tried to read his expression for some clues on how to act next, but all he got was… sadness. Ibara had always pushed his feelings aside, enjoying the feeling of power as the vice president of Cosmic Production, so when he saw Nagisa stare off into the distance with that look, something tugged in his heart, but he had no idea what to do in this situation.
“... You came late. You’re almost never late.”
“I apologise for leaving Your Excellency waiting for so long, but pressing work came up and I could not leave it be!”
“... You didn’t respond to me.”
“Yes, I was so caught up in my work that I didn’t even hear my phone go off. I deeply apologise-”
“... Ibara.”
“What is it, Your Excel-”
“... Please call me Nagisa when we’re alone together.”
Ibara was calling Nagisa by a different title not just to get at his good side, but it also allowed him to maintain a particular distance from him. That lack of attachment allowed him to think about what to do around him in a more logical manner, and allowing emotion to take over was never a good thing. However, Nagisa was forcing the wall that he put up to break down. On one hand, Ibara didn’t like it one bit. On the other hand, Ibara wanted to get closer, because if Nagisa was initiating this, that meant that he cared about Ibara. Someone was finally caring about him , and ever since those moments that he had with Yuzuru back in the military camp, he wanted to feel that light, to taste true happiness again, even if those desires had been locked into the back of his mind.
Nagisa let the silence hang for a moment. Ibara tried to use this time to plan his next action, but he couldn’t come up with anything.
“... Ibara. I felt lonely, not being able to see you for a week.”
“...”
“... I feel happy when I see you. Please visit me more often.”
“...” Ibara still couldn’t think of anything and it was making him a lot more uncomfortable than he would have liked, but at the same time, Nagisa was saying something emotional and he wasn’t sure whether it was appropriate to interject.
“... I miss having my hair braided. If you want to relieve stress, you can let me know.”
It was as if Nagisa read Ibara like a book, Ibara was indeed under a lot of stress by his work and the looming deadlines, so he moved closer to Nagisa, untied his hair, and began to braid. He hadn’t done this in a long time, but his hands knew exactly what to do, and Nagisa stayed perfectly still like an obedient dog getting groomed. Ibara finished a braid in record time and moved onto the next bit of hair, and finished that quickly too. Now he needed to get up and move to the other side if he wanted to braid more so he began to rise, but Nagisa stopped him by grabbing his wrist.
“... Please stay here. I want to enjoy your warmth.”
“Ah, are you cold?”
“... A little.”
“Here, you can have my coat.” Ibara took it off and draped it over Nagisa’s shoulders. Nagisa moved to settle into the clothing more comfortably.
“... Can I keep it for some time?”
“It’s too small for you to wear, why do you want it?”
“... It smells like you, and it reminds me of you.”
The pieces were beginning to come together, but Ibara wanted to make extra sure. He thought about talking about that night they shared with their bodies entwined in the hotel room, because so little words were exchanged during that time that it was impossible to tell what Nagisa was truly feeling as they danced in pleasure together (Ibara couldn’t even tell what he himself was feeling in the heat of the moment). However, Ibara knew the danger; he was currently on thin ice. Emotions were a fragile thing and one wrong move could destroy his relationship with Nagisa.
“... Can I kiss you?”
The question from Nagisa caught Ibara completely off guard. Ibara sorely wished that he could freeze time to come up with a plan. “Why do you want to kiss me?” He hoped that he didn’t say something wrong and braced for the worst.
“... Something in my heart wants me to get closer to you. It feels warm when you are by my side and… I want to feel that warmth again.”
At this point, Ibara wanted to tell Nagisa all about the harsh reality of things, and how feeling was dangerous in a world of power struggles and money, and how Ibara was his producer and it could only cause trouble for them to act on feelings. There would also be the issue of be how Ibara was so busy with practice and work that there could be barely any time for them to be together, and even if they did, the media would blow up if they caught wind that they were in a relationship, and then that could affect his job as a producer, a vice president, and an idol of Eden. If Eden got damaged by this, that would affect Nagisa too, who would have nowhere to go if he was unable to continue idol work, and then the damage could spread to Hiyori who was already not being favoured by his family, and then Jun too…
But at the same time, Ibara wanted to let his feelings come back, the feelings that he had pushed down so far into a ditch to make sure that they wouldn’t affect him in his work. He wanted to throw everything away to indulge in them more, and finally let warmth flow in his systems, because it felt good and he wanted to feel it again, after years and years of work and negotiations and struggles and work and work and work. He remembered first feeling it, a light that was stronger and warmer than his relationship with Yuzuru as a child, and he wanted nothing more than to be able to nurture it, to allow the light to become stronger, because it did something that work did not.
Work didn’t care about him. But Nagisa cared-, no, Nagisa-
Ibara closed the gap in between their faces in one swift motion, and all of the tension that he didn’t know he had melted away in that instant as he felt Nagisa’s soft lips on his. Nagisa eagerly returned the affection, hands reaching up to bury themselves into Ibara’s hair, and also to make sure that Ibara didn’t run away to leave him alone again. Ibara remembered the messy, sloppy kisses that they shared as they drove each other to the heights of heaven, but this one was soft, tender, as if they’d break each other if they were just a little too rough. Ibara moved a hand to rest on Nagisa’s shoulder while tilting his head to get a better angle, and he realised just how starved he was of affection when Nagisa softly massaging his head brought him unparalleled amounts of happiness that went way beyond the satisfaction of his plans working. Ibara felt something in his heart break and everything felt incredibly warm for the first time in his life as Nagisa began to introduce his tongue; Nagisa wasn’t kissing him to make him feel good, he was kissing him because he wanted to etch this gesture of love deep into Ibara’s mind, to make sure that he would never forget.
Ibara didn’t need Nagisa to tell him that he loved him. The kiss told him everything, even if Nagisa didn’t know what love was.
Under the light, Ibara could see Nagisa’s blush, and he was sure that his facial colour was also the same.
“... Again.” Ibara twisted his body to make himself more comfortable and went for another deeper kiss, undoing the braids that he had made before. He felt Nagisa’s hands go to his waist and Ibara broke off, about to warn Nagisa that they shouldn’t be touching each other in public even if there was no one around, but Nagisa simply lifted Ibara onto his lap so that the latter was straddling him. Satisfied, Nagisa brought Ibara’s face to him and they kissed again, but the extra contact was amplifying the whole experience, and Ibara pressed into Nagisa’s body as much as he could.
Everything was so warm and comfortable and Ibara wanted to forget about Cosmic Production, his work, his plans, and just spend the rest of his days with Nagisa. Ibara realised that this was what love was. It was something that he used to hate, as it was almost like painting a big target on his back, but at the same time it was such a powerful reprieve from the harshness of reality and it felt like the void within himself had been filled, a void that had been there for as long as he could remember. He finally found the thing that he would treasure for the rest of his life. Maybe he would be glad to be born because of it too.
When they parted for air again, Ibara was still in a daze, overwhelmed with emotion.
“... Ibara, do you have to get up early tomorrow?”
“I usually get up early.”
“... We should stop here.” Of all people, Nagisa was pulling him back to the world. Ibara had completely forgotten that it was quite late at night, and he carefully climbed off Nagisa.
“I’m sorry, Nagisa.”
“... Sorry for what?”
“For neglecting you.”
“... Will you promise to see me often?”
“Yes.”
“... Can we do this every now and then?”
Ibara knew that hiding a relationship was going to be difficult, but if he could work all the way up the corporate ladder, he could do a lot of things.
“Yes, we can, Nagisa.”