Chapter Text
When Gavin opened the door to his apartment, he was greeted by the sight of Kent in his kitchen, occupied by something on the stove. A decade ago, the sight of a lover cooking in his tiny kitchen would’ve been domestic to the point it repulsed him. Now, Kent’s mere presence put him at ease.
Without turning from his cooking, Kent spoke up with a hint of concern. “You haven’t eaten yet, right?”
“Nope. What’re you makin’ anyway, chef?” Gavin asked as he began to settle back into his apartment, removing his shoes and jacket. Upon stepping closer, he noticed Kent wore one of his nicer dress shirts. Though it was an unusual sight at home, with Kent preferring to wear such clothing on formal outings, Gavin wasn’t about to complain. Not when it fit Kent’s form so nicely, showing some muscle definition through the sleek, dark blue material.
“Filet mignon with sauteed vegetables.” Kent opened the oven and moved one of the pans into it.
“Mm, fancy,” he remarked in approval. The appetizing aromas reminded him just how long ago his lunch break had been. “Any reason for that?”
“No.” Even if Gavin wasn’t a detective, the clipped response still would’ve caught his attention. It wasn’t unusual for Kent to cook for the two of them; he’d even developed a habit of it. A few times a month he planned and cooked nicer meals, when they both had free time in their chaotic schedules and didn’t feel like traveling for a date. The filets were a step above his usual dishes, especially with no prior notice.
“You sure?” Gavin persisted, leaning against the breakfast bar and watching him.
“Course I’m sure.” Kent remained focused on the skillet full of vegetables.
His back was turned to Gavin, and he could see how square Kent’s shoulders were. “You need a massage?” Gavin offered, aware of how sore he could get from his more intense workdays.
“I’m fine.” Kent’s posture didn’t change.
Gavin didn’t believe him. He held off on his main question and went the passive route instead. “Training today?”
“No.” Kent rolled his shoulders back and his stance relaxed a bit. “Polar opposite. I was stuck in my office with paperwork,” he explained with clear distaste.
Gavin nodded, sharing his sentiments on paperwork. Still, he couldn’t help thinking about how different Kent was acting. They hadn’t had a major argument in quite some time… For a moment, he worried that he’d done something to make Kent mad at him, and a weight began to settle in his stomach. But Kent had had enough serious conversations with him in the past couple years for Gavin to know his fears were irrational; Kent would’ve voiced any frustrations by now. “Well thank God it’s over, huh?” He commented, settling against the breakfast bar and reminding himself that everything was fine. It wasn’t the same as when Kent talked him down, his voice somehow firm and gentle all at once, but it was better than nothing.
“Yeah. For now.”
Gavin hummed in agreement and walked over to the liquor cabinet next to him. Kent looked over in question, his expression almost professional in its blankness.
The lack of expression made him uneasy, and Gavin distracted himself by rummaging through the various liquors. He emerged with an old bottle of red wine, gifted to him at some point in time and forgotten until now. “Well, if you’re going to be fancy, we should go all out,” he explained.
Kent nodded in approval, his features softening a bit, and turned back to his cooking. Gavin frowned down at the bottle of wine as he set it on the counter.
Their dinner was so fancy, Gavin noticed as he carried his plate out of the kitchen, that Kent had set up the place mats and glasses at his small table instead of using the breakfast bar. Even a lone candle had been lit in the middle of the table, and Gavin had no clue where the hell it’d come from. Did Kent buy it himself? Or did Gavin have fancy candles stored away he’d somehow bought and never used? Who knew. At least the above and beyond presentation was evidence enough that Kent was in good spirits.
After they toasted and began to eat, Kent conversed idly with him about their respective days at work. Gavin alternated between complaining about inconsistent leads on a hit-and-run case he’d been assigned and savoring the steak Kent had cooked rare for him, just how he always ordered it.
It was their familiar routine for nicer dinners. Except for the candle on the table. Plus the whole dining at the table… they only did that for Christmas or Thanksgiving. And it was way too early to count as their bare minimum version of holiday festivity.
Kent spoke in that voice of his that managed to be rough and steady all at once. His words were gentle, but his responses were more truncated, and his typical watchful gaze was nowhere to be found. Instead, Kent’s eyes wandered from Gavin around the features of his apartment’s living area; scrutinizing their surroundings more than necessary. After all, he was over so often it was beyond familiar territory, and it wasn’t like Gavin had rearranged his furniture and decor since the last time Kent had been over.
Even as the dinner progressed, Kent didn’t lounge back in his chair like usual. He remained tense, as if he were on guard towards some unknown threat. Gavin’s gut sank as worry took him over again.
Between one of Gavin’s final bites of the filet, he asked, “you good?”
Kent’s eyes settled back on him. “I’m fine. Is it good?” He asked, watching him with intrigue.
“Outstanding, as per usual,” Gavin complimented.
Kent’s lips twitched into the start of a smile, and he looked back down at his own plate. “Good.”
Done with the entire dinner, Gavin slouched against his seat, wine glass in hand. “Seriously. That was fuckin’ amazing, Kent. Thank you,” he spoke with a level of sincerity that went past the influence of a few sips of wine.
Kent’s “you’re welcome” was quiet. Gavin noticed how his fingers tapped without rhythm against the dinner table, lost in thought with a faraway stare.
“You’re not getting sick, are you?” Gavin asked. Despite the warmth and relaxation brought on from the wine, Kent’s tension was spreading to him.
“I wouldn’t have cooked if I thought I was,” Kent replied, before he finished off the last of his wine. He stood up and walked off into Gavin’s bedroom.
After he finished the last sip of his own glass, Gavin blew out the candle and stayed seated, propping his elbow on the table and resting his chin on his hand. Gavin wondered just what the hell was going on with his partner. He was still so stiff... shame he’d turned down a massage when he’d grown to welcome the gesture. Something still felt off about him... maybe he was just tired. It wasn’t unusual, it could be one of many nights where Kent was exhausted and fell asleep as soon as he’d eaten dinner. Then again, he didn’t cook out of the blue if he was that tired-
Kent’s footsteps brought him back to reality. Gavin glanced over as Kent made a beeline towards him and stopped.
Gavin sat up and turned to face him with curiosity. Kent was focused on him, his expression guarded and alert, in a professional stoicism seldom seen outside their shifts. Gavin noticed how his disheveled hair was more slicked back than it’d been when he left the table. A chuckle escaped him at that, and he began to gently tease, “since when do you keep up looks so much at home? You fancy old-”
Kent got down on one knee next to him. Gavin’s thoughts derailed at the unusual yet distinctive motion, and his heart sped up. “What’re you-” he started to question, but stopped; it felt pointless. He began to get an idea for the dinner, for Kent’s unease and quiet, for his appearance. It made sense, but still didn’t feel possible. Kent never struck him as that type. They’d been together for years now, but-
Kent dug his hand into his pocket, and Gavin watched, astonished, his thoughts stalling.
When he saw the small felt box in Kent’s unsteady hand, he realized how wrong he’d been about his partner.
Kent opened it and held it up in the space between them, and the soft light illuminated a gold ring nestled within. Entranced by the sight of the ring, a low “holy shit” escaped Gavin’s lips, his voice breaking on the curse.
Anything else he’d wanted to say was forgotten. All Gavin could think of as he gazed down at Kent was how the moment, though he knew otherwise, felt like a dream. Gavin felt nothing other than the swiftened pace of his heart and an overwhelming swell of love for the man before him.
Kent’s voice was quiet and thickened by emotions that reflected in his glistening eyes as he began with, “I should’ve done this a long time ago.” He reached out his free hand for Gavin, and Gavin grasped it, lacing their fingers together as tears began to cloud his vision. He blinked them away and tightened his grip on Kent’s hand. It reminded Gavin that everything was real, that he wasn’t dreaming.
Kent gazed up at him, his words confident but trembling with underlying feelings. “I know our jobs are unpredictable, and I’m getting old, and we’ve never exactly been a cliched couple… we never liked to put definitions to our relationship, and we still have our moments. But in all our time together since I first met you, I’ve realized you’re the one person in this fucked up world that I truly, thoroughly care about. You’ve given me so much companionship beyond anything I could’ve hoped for after I was alone for so long, and I’ve known for some time that I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Will you marry me?”
“Yes,” Gavin replied without hesitation, his voice threatening to break.
Kent smiled up at him, with such a brightness that Gavin felt tears threatening to form again just from the sight of how happy he was. He let go of Gavin’s hand and gingerly slid the ring onto Gavin’s right ring finger, the metal of it already warming against his skin. Kent breathed a shaky sigh of relief, and started to remark, “It’s not too tacky? I wasn’t sure-”
“It’s perfect,” Gavin assured him.
“I’m glad.”
Gavin took hold of Kent’s arms and helped him stand up. Eye level with Kent, he was able to see how his partner, no, fiance, gazed at him with unbridled love. He’d thought of Kent as beautiful countless times through their years together, but that moment, in the peace and quiet of his apartment, was above anything else.
Kent brought his hands up to cradle Gavin’s face, and Gavin wrapped his arms around his waist. When Gavin leaned in, Kent did as well, and their foreheads pressed together.
“I love you,” Kent murmured, without hesitation and with nothing but reverence.
“I love you too,” Gavin replied into the little space left between them, his heart warmed by Kent’s open affection.
Kent caressed the stubble on Gavin’s jaw with the back of his hand and leaned in. Gavin closed his eyes, his lips meeting Kent’s.
They pulled apart, finally desperate enough to catch their breaths. A warmth had settled over Gavin, and the way Kent watched him with so much desire, his swollen lips parted, just added to it. Though he knew it’d be ruffled all over again, he ran his fingers through Kent’s hair in an attempt to comb it down.
Kent’s lips moved down to his neck, trailing along the sensitive skin and planting soft kisses. Gavin’s breath shuddered at the tantalizing feeling and the heat of Kent’s breath; a common reaction that encouraged Kent to press his lips to the crook of his neck. A shiver ran down Gavin’s spine, and his fingers dug into Kent’s hips. Kent started to unbutton his shirt, the motions of his fingers efficient and well-practiced.
Though the touches made him want to keep still, to melt even further into Kent’s arms, he also wanted to take it further. Gavin stepped into Kent’s space, coaxing him towards the open door of his bedroom. Kent took a step back, not breaking the flow, and Gavin found himself following after his hurried steps.
~ ~ ~
When Gavin stepped out of the bathroom later, he found Kent seated on the edge of the bed, slouched in on himself.
Gavin settled next to him and placed his hand on Kent’s back. Splaying his fingers, he could feel how tense Kent was, even after he’d fallen apart under Gavin’s touch not long before. “You sure you don’t want a massage, sweetheart?”
“I’ll take one if the offer still stands.” Kent replied after a moment.
Gavin gave his back a few gentle pats. “Of course it does.”
Kent settled onto his stomach on the bed, and Gavin knelt next to him. His hands pressed to the spot Kent often complained was sore. As he began to massage, a content sigh escaped Kent.
While he worked, Kent confessed, “I’m sorry if I seemed disinterested earlier, before I proposed. The dinner held my attention, and…” he trailed off.
“You were nervous?” Gavin finished the sentence for him, keeping up his kneading.
Kent nodded. “Yeah.” He chuckled against the duvet, soft enough that Gavin didn’t feel it resonate beneath his hands. “A fucking SWAT officer, nervous over a simple question.”
“I think it makes everyone that way.”
They settled into a comfortable silence. He continued massaging, moving up to Kent’s shoulders. Under the repetitive motions of his hands, Kent began to settle against the bed and relax under his touch, humming in approval on occasion. Like so many times before, Gavin delighted in seeing him so at ease from his own handiwork.
After a while, he finished loosening the remaining tense spot and sat back, declaring his work finished with “there.”
“Thanks,” Kent replied softly. He settled onto his back, and Gavin lounged on his side next to him, propping his chin up with the palm of his hand. In the pale light, Gavin took his time admiring Kent as his fiance’s eyes fluttered shut and he nestled his head against his pillow.
They laid there in quiet, and Gavin had begun to nod off when Kent spoke up. Gazing up at the ceiling, he confessed, “I wasn’t sure if you ever wanted to get married… we never really talked about it before.”
Gavin brought his free hand to Kent’s cheek, his thumb caressing the rough path of his scar. “The way I see it, we’re already a married couple. We’re just idiots, old man.”
Though Kent gave an amused huff, he agreed with a quiet “guess so,” his gaze returning to Gavin.
“You basically live with me already, it’s been almost a decade since we first met… this just makes it official.” Gavin leaned down, and Kent’s lips met his in a chaste kiss. “I’m glad for that,” he admitted against Kent’s lips, before settling his head against Kent’s bare chest.
“Me too.” Kent murmured affectionately, his fingers combing through Gavin’s hair, slow and comforting. “I just wish I’d done it sooner… I’d been considering it for a while.”
“What constitutes a ‘while’?”
“The past year. Two, if we’re counting occasional thoughts.”
It caught him by surprise, and Gavin couldn’t stop himself from cursing “holy shit” at a whisper.
Kent stayed quiet, and his body tensed up.
That wasn’t the reaction he’d wanted. Gavin laid his arm over Kent’s chest and rubbed his shoulder. “Easy there, just caught me off guard is all,” Gavin soothed. “You know I could’ve, and should’ve, proposed to you as well, right?”
“What?” Kent asked, surprised.
Gavin took a deep breath and decided to voice his thoughts. He nuzzled his cheek against Kent’s chest and started to circle his finger around a scar on Kent’s left shoulder. “I should really save it for my vows, but whatever. Before I met you, I would’ve just laughed at the idea of being with someone long-term, and especially at marrying them. But being with you over the years changed my mind… I realized marriage wouldn’t be dull if it was with you. I started thinking about it over the last year, but I didn’t go as far as to actually do anything about it.”
“Why’s that?”
“Like you said, we never discussed it.” He took a deep breath and admitted, grateful that Kent couldn’t look him in the eyes, “also… I wasn’t sure you’d ever want me as a husband.”
Kent’s arms wrapped around him in a warm embrace, and Gavin relaxed in his secure hold, reassured before he even spoke his thoughts. “Christ, we really are idiots,” Kent cursed with fondness, his breath rustling Gavin’s hair. “Of course I want you to be my husband, Gav. Even with our worst moments, do you have any idea how much companionship and love you’ve given me all these years? Before we met, I thought I’d never want to get engaged again. Hell, I thought I’d never find someone who’d want me in the first place.”
“And yet, here we are,” Gavin reflected. “Somehow, we found each other. And I wouldn’t have it any other way.”
“God, that’s so cheesy,” Kent remarked with disdain. He held Gavin tighter nonetheless, and pressed a kiss to his hair.
Gavin smiled at the gesture and wrapped his arms around Kent, letting his eyes shut. “I know. It still applies, though. We’re engaged, there’s bound to be cheesiness, even if it’s just one line. And your proposal wasn’t what I’d call ‘cheesy.’”
“That a good thing or a bad thing?” Kent asked, and Gavin could hear the insecurity in his voice.
“Good. Outstanding, even. I like our un-cliched life the way it is.”
Kent settled his chin on the top of Gavin’s head. “Me, too.”